Monday, May 10, 2010

Heidi Montag - go big or go home

making mountains out of Heidi's Hills


Heidi Montag - go big or go home  Alexis Neiers Ali Lohan Amazing Race Ann Curry Barbara Walters Beauty Betty White Biggest Loser Bobby Brown Bruce Beresford-Redman Bruce Willis Burglar Bunch Casey Johnson Celebrity Feuds Celebrity Justice Charlie Sheen Chaz Bono Cher Chris Brown Chuy Bravo Conrad Murray Contest Courtney Love DMX David Boreanaz Deadliest Catch Dina Lohan Dirk Nowitzki Dirty Divorces Dr. Arnie Klein Dr. Drew Dr. Phil Elena Kagan Elin Nordegren Frank McCourt Fred Durst Gossip / Rumors Heidi & Spencer Heidi Klum Heidi Montag Hoda Kotb Hook Ups Hot Bodies Hot Mamas Hot Vegas JWOWW Jake Harris Jamie Foxx Jamie McCourt Jani Lane Jason Alexander Jenna Jameson Jersey Shore Jesse James Jessica Simpson Jim Bob Duggar Joel Osteen Jon & Kate Jon Gosselin Josh Koscheck Josie Brooklyn Duggar Joslyn James Kate Gosselin Kathie Lee Gifford Kevin James La Toya Jackson Lawrence Taylor Lindsay Lohan Lisa Bloom Lorenzo Lamas Lost Louis Stravato Malcolm David Kelley Memba Them Meredith Vieira Michael Jackson Michael Lohan Michelle Bomshell McGee Michelle Duggar Michelle McGee Monica Burgos Beresford-Redman Naomi Campbell Natalie Morales Nurse! Oprah Orlando Bloom Paparazzi Photo Paparazzi Video Party All The Time Paul Daley Photo Galleries Politix Rachel Uchitel Rihanna Robert Downey Jr. Roxanne Shante SNL Sammy Sosa Sandra Bullock Scientology Seinfeld Snooki Spencer Pratt Stars In Heat Steve Schirripa Steven Weber Survivor TMZ Live TMZ Sports TV Tamera Mowry The Duggar Family The View Tia Mowry Tiger Woods Tim Daly Tito Ortiz Tom & Katie Tom Cruise Valerie Perrine We're Just Sayin' Weekly Select Whitney Houston
Full Tilt Tits!

Heidi Montag is becoming better known for her plastic surgery than her wooden acting on The Hills. She went full tilt tit on the plastic surgery until she looked like a porn star. Her new tits are probably big enough to refloat the Titanic (a shame that avid sailor and amateur explorer William Buckley jr. isn't still alive to utilize this rare opportunity!).

F Cupped, F Listed, & F'd up

Heidi currently has a "F" cup. She wants to go even larger though. Seems that Ryan Seacrest (him again - always stirring up trouble!) made a few unintentionally disparaging comments when Heidi was a guest on his show last month. Trying to reassure a nervous Montag, Seacrest told her that her monstrous boobs 'weren't that big'. I think he meant not that bad, but Heidi naturally jumped to conclusions, and hearing 'not big enough' she hit the panic button. That led to more attempts at plastic surgery.

bigger breasts or bust

Fly in the ointment is that American docs are unwilling to do anything more to her (American health care might not be as bad as they say!). That leaves a desperate Heidi looking around over seas for some one willing to bump her boobs up from their current 700 ccs to a whopping 800 ccs. That would give her a "H" cup. Heidi mentioned that "H" stands for Heidi (she's not as dumb as they say), so it must be a sign or lucky or something (then again maybe she is). That leaves pundits, bloggers, and other know nothing know it alls speculating that she might be working on the wrong end. Her head might need a bit more professional attention than her out sized milkless mammaries. Get well soon Heidi!

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Speaking of boobs here's a word from our sponsor. Now they're not really a sponsor, but the vid, from the early part of this millennium, does feature a certain Dancing With The Stars hottie named Erin Andrews. Let's see if you can spot the mystery blonde in this Darrin's Dance Grooves ad.



What can you say after that but...



Now that's what I call a laugh track! Some might say that this gives Erin an unfair advantage over the likes of Pam Anderson and Kate Gosselin. I can't help thinking that "you've come a long way baby!" - right back where you started from!

Now more fun with The Simpsons!



BTW gossip fans, here's your one convenient link to all things TMZ!

Alexis Neiers Ali Lohan Amazing Race Ann Curry Barbara Walters Beauty Betty White Biggest Loser Bobby Brown Bruce Beresford-Redman Bruce Willis Burglar Bunch Casey Johnson Celebrity Feuds Celebrity Justice Charlie Sheen Chaz Bono Cher Chris Brown Chuy Bravo Conrad Murray Contest Courtney Love DMX David Boreanaz Deadliest Catch Dina Lohan Dirk Nowitzki Dirty Divorces Dr. Arnie Klein Dr. Drew Dr. Phil Elena Kagan Elin Nordegren Frank McCourt Fred Durst Gossip / Rumors Heidi & Spencer Heidi Klum Heidi Montag Hoda Kotb Hook Ups Hot Bodies Hot Mamas Hot Vegas JWOWW Jake Harris Jamie Foxx Jamie McCourt Jani Lane Jason Alexander Jenna Jameson Jersey Shore Jesse James Jessica Simpson Jim Bob Duggar Joel Osteen Jon & Kate Jon Gosselin Josh Koscheck Josie Brooklyn Duggar Joslyn James Kate Gosselin Kathie Lee Gifford Kevin James La Toya Jackson Lawrence Taylor Lindsay Lohan Lisa Bloom Lorenzo Lamas Lost Louis Stravato Malcolm David Kelley Memba Them Meredith Vieira Michael Jackson Michael Lohan Michelle Bomshell McGee Michelle Duggar Michelle McGee Monica Burgos Beresford-Redman Naomi Campbell Natalie Morales Nurse! Oprah Orlando Bloom Paparazzi Photo Paparazzi Video Party All The Time Paul Daley Photo Galleries Politix Rachel Uchitel Rihanna Robert Downey Jr. Roxanne Shante SNL Sammy Sosa Sandra Bullock Scientology Seinfeld Snooki Spencer Pratt Stars In Heat Steve Schirripa Steven Weber Survivor TMZ Live TMZ Sports TV Tamera Mowry The Duggar Family The View Tia Mowry Tiger Woods Tim Daly Tito Ortiz Tom & Katie Tom Cruise Valerie Perrine We're Just Sayin' Weekly Select Whitney Houston



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