After Elvis Presley's untimely 1977 death people wondered what killed the king. Possibilities went from the obvious to the ridiculous, and beyond into the realm of conspiracy theories. While sensible folk assumed that he'd drugged himself to death like so many other stars before and since, there were those who felt it wasn't cut and dried. Some even believed that the King still lived. He'd faked his death, they maintained.Elvis lives?
Now why would a past his prime rock singer throw in the towel and give up his lucrative Vegas lounge act? Theories were numerous. Some said that the King felt so smothered by fame that he couldn't even go out to McDonald's to buy his beloved hamburgers. Others said that he wanted to escape taxes. Still others claimed that he was in the witness relocation program due to death threats from drug dealers. His plane had been used in a govt. sting operation and he did get that narc badge from Pres Nixon!
Now the King's personal court physician has come forth with a mundane explanation. Yes the King is dead, the doc says. He should know since he's the one who tried to revive him. Elvis died on the thrown, reading one of his favorite sex-tantra books. The toilet was to play a more crucial role in Presley's death than anyone imagined. Seems that the King was chronically constipated, and the condition was fatal! Here's a little video clip on that:Now it is a little disappointing that the King isn't flying through the universe in an ET UFO. Nor is he sharing an apartment with Jim Morrison and Big Foot. It does go to show that Mom was right - eat your ruffage! It also goes to show that you can't beleive everything that you read in tabloids.
Elvis by *masamune7905
