Mr Smooth goes Guy Incognito
Something smells funky - love is in the air?
Yesterday was the Wondertrash sex post. Love must be in the air or something because there are yet more sex stories coming out of Follywood. This next one shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone since it involves Charlie Sheen. The rascal has a reputation for sexy shenanigans!
Sorry Charlie
Regular Wondertrash readers will recall that Charlie has some issues with women. For one thing he's got horrible taste. Ignoring the advice that a man should never marry his mistress, Charlie seems to prefer hotties of dubious character. For instance his ex is Denise Richards. He met her - allegedly - when she was a pro for Heidi Fleiss. That was back in the days when Charlies movie career was winding down and he still could spend $45 000 over a weekend at Casa del Fleiss on tramps and drug binges. Maybe Charlie thought he could save himself good coin by picking a favorite and bringing her into the family. He may have failed to make an honest woman out of Denise, but thanks to him she'll never have to do an honest days work again. Honest work after movie acting would be too much of an adjustment.
Basically Brooke
Charlie moved on from Denise - after a nasty divorce - and onto crack addicted Brooke Mueller with the assurance of a man who feels that he's got it right this time. They quickly had twins and then did an 'in your face' People mag cover that Denise would've found hard to miss. They quickly moved past Denise aimed gloating and on to the nitty gritty.
Charlie's Stalemate
The nitty got gritty around Christmas time. That's when Charlie and Brooke had their Holiday Knife Fight. According to Brooke's lawyer Charlie got drunk and enraged, then pulled a knife on Brooke. Then he had to go to jail for a little while. Brooke has since unofficially recanted her story. Her lawyer says that she doesn't mean the recantation - she's just scared of Charlie. Since Brooke's alcohol level was triple Charlie's it's possible that the poor young woman got confused. It's also possible that Charlie experienced a moment of semi clarity and realized that he couldn't be sure who was the turkey at the table was anymore. As stories emerged fast and furious about Mueller's fondness for crack cocaine, she decided to take her husband back, for the sake of his $20 mill per annum. Charlie decided to have her back for the sake of those outstanding criminal charges she was holding over him. That left them in not so much of a reconciliation as a a stalemate.
Another winner - looking for love in all the wrong places
Well it looks like Charlie has gotten tired of playing it close to the chest. New reports via In Touch have Charlie hooking up with a new woman. Now Charlie and Brook have hit a calm patch. Charlie is even being nice to the wife and promising her a change. Perhaps to deliver on his promise Charlie has gone out and found a sizzling new woman to see on the side. She's 'model' Angelina Tracy. The term model has to be used loosely since Tracy seems to be a very loose woman! Apparently Charlie is sneaking off to see Tracy while Brooke things he's going to rehab! So Brooke is either very unsuspecting or stoned out of her brain again! At least he promised her a change she could believe in.
Husband keeps promise, sort of - typical!
Now first thing that needs clarification is the word seeing. By seeing I mean that Tracy has attended the last taping of 2 & 1/2 Men. She also spends a lot of time at Charlie's house when Brooke's out of town. Charlie likes to go to see her too. He usually pops in while wearing a fake mustache (not the klind that comes with a big plastic nose and glasses, but close enough). The mustache is either a diversionary tactic to throw off the press, an appeal to a possible mustache fetish in Tracy, or Charlie is angling for the part of Tony Stark in an eventual Ironman sequel.
Charlie goes pro again!
Second thing that needs clarification is Tracy's profession. When she can't find work modeling she works as a paid escort -just the type Sheen likes! It's a confusing situation but one thing seems clear - looks like Sheen has picked himself out another winner. He could have done just as well by asking Tiger Woods or Jesse James for some phone numbers!
FUBAR - Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition
All this sad news coming out of Follywood would have the impressionable thinking that sex is playing with fire, or at the very least like standing around with a lit stick of dynamite in each hand. No one ever uses the word "fucked" to describe something good happening (even when it's followed by the word "up"!) - like "I just won the lottery! Am I fucked." or "We'd like to give you a raise and a promotion." "Well fuck me!" So that should be a tip off to the uninitiated. You might be surprised to know that one celeb has been paying attention!
Single, celibate, & loving it - Lady Gaga just says no!
For even more strange sex tales head over to Maybe It's Just Me and read about the African Men who are being sold as sex slaves to well off Scottish gentlemen!
BTW if you're thinking of getting into the gossip game then the following site might prove invaluable. It's Find Mugshot LA.
