Oksana Grigorieva makes nice

Oksanity!

Oksana Grigorieva was a troublesome woman who caused all sorts of unnecessary anguish. Then she met Mel Gibson! Not that her life began with Gibson. She'd been around, and for a while. She'd been some sort of musician, though people who know her laugh at the claim to anything serious. She'd gotten knocked up by Timothy "The Spy Who Shagged Me" Dalton. She had a kid by him, named Alexander, and that kept her in walking around money for a few years. It didn't do much for Dalton since his career went into a death spiral after getting his dose of Grigorieva. There are somethings that even James Bond can't survive. Still it might be unfair to give Oksie too mucgh credit. Dalton's career was also undermined by his habit of walking around hot Hollywood eateries with his fly down and no underwear on!

she's silly putty purty!

Anyhow Momma's Little Dividend kept Oksie livin' the lifestyles of the rich and famous Hollywood style for a few years. That was convenient since she wasn't getting any younger and had to pay for the up keep on her face, which was how she made her living. So that left her living it up, getting silly putty injected into her head, and sizing up her next victim! For awhile that looked like record producer David Foster. She was staying in his guest house and putting a lot of pressure on the poor man's marriage when some one better came along in the form of Mel Gibson. So she latched onto him, but not before trashing Foster's marriage.

the poor man's rich girl, or vice versa

Part of what ruined Foster's marriage was that Oksany was knocked up in the family way with a child that might or might not have been Super Dave's. That takes infidelity beyond the level of keeping some stray Russian tramp in the pool house (which would be much more fun if the Russian in question was Milla Jovovich, and not some down market blow jobber who looks like she pay off her lips on the installment plan). Mrs Foster need not have jumped the gun since Oksany was busy reconsidered her child's paternity! She decided that the father might actually be Mel, and not the guy she'd been slutting it up win the pool house with for awhile. That might sound revisionist, but Oksany is a big believer in convenience - her own if not any one else's.

from Russia with love & C.O.D.!

So that lead to the explosion of Mel's marriage. Illegitimate kids by Russian sluts will do that. Mel insisted that he left his wife because they lacked common spiritual ground - and finding common ground with Mello these days might require a tinfoil hat - but since she was the one who filed you can use your imaginations. That left poor Mel showing off his new *ahem* prize in public, and in a serious of embarrassing music videos. Maybe they were mucus videos - who knows.

love or a cold war

The relationship seemed happy, if embarrassing, for awhile. Yet the course of true love never runs smooth. That's to say nothing about whatever Mel and Oksany shared. So soon enough things took one of those strange turns that characterize Mel's life lately. Some how the love birds turned on each other. Mel made a lot of bad remarks about Oksany publicly - like she was a drunken smutty pig. Or he would have if he hadn't thought that might be an insult to drunken smutty pigs.

love is never having to speak up for the tape recorder

He said a lot of other stuff too, and didn't mind who felt insulted by that. We know because Oksany had taken to taping their heated phone conversations. Perhaps it was out of sentiment, and a desire to preserve the memory of what they had after Braveheart had moved on. You know how soft heart money grubbing whores can be. She wasn't shy about sharing Mel's special feelings with the world either - & the tapes found their way onto TMZ, or Radaronline, on one of these trash sites (heh heh). When you a woman who's well and truly loved then you just want the whole world to know about it and envy you, so who can blame her!

hand puppet theater - sock it to me!

Now that didn't do Mel's career any good, not that there was anything left of it to worry about; beside that sock puppet film he had cooked up with Jodie Foster (who may or may not be related to David Foster, depending on how paranoid you are about nepotism in Hollywood). Since Mel was kind of hanging on by a shred of a thread he kind of took it personally. So the gloves were off and the lawyers were in on the act. Tempers boiled and rhetoric became inflammatory, while onlookers feared that the situation might go OJ if participants didn't watch their step, or if Mello got too liquored up and had a bad day. He did make those rose garden comments!

things come fool circle

Just when it seemed that the shit would hit the fan things calmed down. Part of this was because Oksany had to take it instead of just dishing it. Mel got some friends in the Malibu Police Dept - he's still got a few - to look into extortion charges and possible deportation. Exile from the land of opportunity seemed to put the fear of God into her godless commie soul. Plus she'd become part of the story and the paparazzi were hounding her in public. She was easier to get to than Mel, but her shit backfiring on her wasn't anything she'd planned on, and seemed to take some of the fun out of it for her. Meanwhile Mel had gone back to his wife Robin, and that seemed to be a stabilizing influence on him. So the only thing left was for the dust to settle.

The Tabloid Narc

That seemed to have happened. Some time last week the Enquirer, unless it was the Examiner, The Globe, or some other shit mag, reported that Mel and Oksany had been spotted out in public together walking calmly and talking softly without any broken teeth or enraged screaming. Perhaps the absence of a tape recorder helped to keep thing on the level. Anyway the tabloid narc, who knew Mel in some capacity, said that he looked at him with a 'what the fuck' expression on his face. Mel just nodded and looked back, unless he looked back first and then nodded. There may or may not have been a wink involved.

Mel less psychotic than usual

So while anyone who was still interested was busy asking "what the fuck is going on with Gibson" it comes out that Oksany has just dropped her domestic assault charges. Those charges stemmed from the tape recording period. Oksany claimed that an enraged and psychotic Mel had fucked up her face while out of his mind. She mentioned that again and again during the recordings. Most figured that it was a life time of bad plastic surgery that left her worse for wear, but that was a matter for the courts to decide.Or it was before Oksany dropped the charges.

hit me baby one more time

Now Oksany had been all worked up what with being abused and all. Apparently getting smacked in the gov, allegedly, by Gibson was some great matter of principle that everyone was required to support her on by backing her to the hilt like she was Rihanna or something. Once she actually sat down and thought about it, though, she seemed to feel more like Tila Tequila, as in "Let's put the whole Merriman mess behind us so I can get on with my career". Oksany doesn't pout it so cynically. She spins it a little more sympathetically, which is what you do if you want people to support you, or at least not try and take your head off for continuing to waste their time.

round 2?

Oksany version, which she gave to E via her lawyer through a "source" claims that Mrs. G dropped her case because she wanted to be free to contact Gibson in relation to their daughter Lucia. So she's basically putting the well being of her daughter first, and wasn't using the charges as leverage in a low down and dirty custody battle. That means the man that she swore on a stack was a danger to life and limb is now free to once again be an active participant in the life of both her and her daughter. So this is the part where something in her story just doesn't add up, like "were you shitting us then, or are you shitting us now?" Maybe she was shitting us all along. Maybe, like Jodie Foster and the movie going public, she's decided that Mel ain't so bad, only a bit misunderstood stood. It's a lady's prerogative to change her mind, but honesty ain't required.

Wonder Woman sez - "Don't be a victim!"

Lunapic Photo Editing

Hello Larry

Liz Taylor was not only one of Hollywood's true movie stars; She got around. She married Eddie Fischer just months before she ran off to do Cleopatra with Richard Burton. Eddie - like poor Nick Lacey with Jessica, had no idea what was what until Richie and Lizzie were exchanged expensive stones and other more personal forget me nots, By the time the show was over Liz decided that she wanted a Greek Hero, even if that mean a Welsh actor playing a Roman. So there was no room for a little Jewish singer in her life.

Now that's fine and well. People expected Taylor to run around like a cat with liniment on her arse, except that in this case the was a twist. Lizzie had stolen Fischer away from Tanny. Now Tammy was the wholesome Mountain Dew Elli May Clampett time who innocence appealed to horny adolescent boys. Innocence was a big part of her appeal. So when Taylor - who was the vamp of the day - moved in for the kill. Spectators viewed it as something a wolf goring Bambie in one of those morbid Disney films,

To put it in modern perspective - it was the same as when Angelina Jolie stole Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston. People decided that she'd gone a little too far - but since she was an oversexed bitch that they couldn't blame her as long as she meant it. So Eddie and Lizzie lived it up for a few mothers and then Lizzie's hot sexy bitch instincts took over.

As mentioned she went off to do Cleopatra with Richard Burton. Burton played Marc Anthony - a proud, intelligent brave; and even more than that - the last of the Greek Heroes. Lizzie as Cleopatra had to seduce Marc -Ricard Anthony, because they're passionate doomed love affair formed the basis of the story. That meant that Richie and Lizzie had to do plenty of scripted sexy time pulls lots of emotionally charged scenes! soon it was bye-bye Tammy.

There's been a lot of talk about who was to blame int his. Tammy was the beloved image of innocent youth, and Liz was the voracious man eating vagina dentata. Since those were the parts that they were supposed to play then no one could really blame Lizzie too much. It didn't go down well and the vox populi (they phrase vox populi is handier than "they" since interlocutors will then get cute and asked you who "they" are. Now one will defy the vox populi.), who decided that she'd get a pass if Lizze was serious. That was the Brad Angelina Jennifer scenario of their day.

Well Lizzie buggered that up by dropping Fischer like a hot potato when she went after Burton. Liz had that Jolie" I do what ever the hell I want because I'm a wild crazy fuck!' attitude. So she may not have been well aware of the seriousness of the situation when she embarked on her affair wit Burton. When she dropped him after a few months to go after Burton - the public turned and never quite forgave her.

That's a paralleled to today's Bragelinsten arrangement to - where the public has decided they'll let jolie get way with this, but they can't expect anymore from them just because she's hers. So her picture shave flopped even though Anstion has a steady A List career. Jolie may be shying away from dropping Pitt because she's afraid of a little of the Hollywood voodoo that hit Lizzie, in the form of failed career, ruined looks, failing health, etc. She needn't worry in this case because the American public is now aiting for the opposite result and are earnestly hoping that Jolie will drop her Mattell Ken Doll, and go back to the half schizophrenic potential serial killer that they fell in lover with that (Shame that no one ever explained that to Jolie).

Anyway this brings us back to the living Legend Elizabeth Taylor. After ditching Eddie and irking the American Movie Public her life started to go down hill. I don't know whether that was coincidence or the will of the movie gods, but her life started to get screwed up. She started playing tramps in films. She started to gain weight and lose her special appeal. She also rebounded off of Richard Burton and to an American politician which proved to be the worst marriage of her life. In fact she never totally took off the weight she gained during that unhappy union.

That left Liz in her post motion picture carer. Since she had some charisma she got by. She appeared in Dynasty, she designed a few perfumes, she may ever have done a few cartoon voice overs (she was considered for a voice in the Flintstones with John Goodman). You might say that Taylor's career was heading in a direction that so many and event he most famous careers go - straight in to the crapper!

Taylor has one way of getting into the media again and aging. She just kept marrying and divorcing, This was once again either a case of Taylor's flagrant disreguard of the unwritten rules of Hollywood - or that her twat was too hot to stop. So she went on her well know post movie star career as a serial marrier. IN fact the roster of Lizzie's conquest is listed below and are as follows:

Marriages

Taylor has been married eight times to seven husbands:

• Conrad "Nicky" Hilton (6 May 1950 – 29 January 1951) (divorced)
• Michael Wilding (21 February 1952 – 26 January 1957) (divorced)
• Michael Todd (2 February 1957 – 22 March 1958) (widowed)
• Eddie Fisher (12 May 1959 – 6 March 1964) (divorced)
• Richard Burton (15 March 1964 – 26 June 1974) (divorced)
• Richard Burton (10 October 1975 – 29 July 1976) (divorced)
• Note: between 1975 and 1976, Taylor was the "companion" to the Iranian ambassador to Washington, Ardeshir Zahedi. They were dubbed "the hottest couple", and both divorced their significant others during their relationship. Taylor even traveled with him to Tehran for a time. Shah Reza Pahlavi convinced Zahedi to end his relationship with Taylor.
• John Warner (4 December 1976 – 7 November 1982) (divorced)
• Larry Fortensky (6 October 1991 – 31 October 1996) (divorced)

You should notice two things right away: 1.marrying Conrad Nickey Hilton gives her a Paris Hilton connection; 2, she's been married 8 times over the past 45 years! That's an enormous amount of emotional baggage to carry around with you! Now where you've got that much karma following in your track and waiting for an inconvenient moment to pounce, then it's only a matter of time before something very inconvenient lands on you.

In this case inconvenient comes in the form of Larry Fortensky. Now if you'll recall Liz meet Larry when they were both banged up in the Betty Ford Center - America being what it is the Betty Ford Clinic draws a real cross section of America society from washed up teen pop singers to laid of steel workers. Drugs are a great equalizer. Anyway Lizzie & Larry hit it off and next thing you know and as quick as a wink, the former Hollywood sex goddess is hitched up with a recovering alcoholic unemployed bricklayer. Just call him the original Kevin Federline.

They seemed to get along for a while. Larry doted on Liz constantly & following her around with shawls that he could suddenly toss them over her if a paparazzi was spotted lurking int he bushes. This was supposed to present the image of Larry as a caring husband, rather than what everyone thought that he was. What they thought he was is what you would think of the 40 year old man who goes after a 70+ woman with millions of dollars. Apart from dubious media stunts the pair actually seemed to get along and Larry seemed to know his place.

Now this kind of celebrity hook ups almost never ever last unless you're James Garner or something. So naturally the Larry & Lizzie arrangement started growing apart. They divorced and Larry got a very a generous settlement (ever get the impression that Liz doesn't kid herself?), They went their separate ways, Larry to what ever nice blue collar home that struck his fancy, and Liz to other male companions who could give her what she needed in her declining years.

Now the thing abut these amicable split ups is that they're like dormant volcanoes waiting to erupt with destructive fury at any moment and without warning. That's what happened to Liz later over that last man she ever married - Larry Fortensky. Seem that Lucky Larry ran into some fiduciary problems.

Now these fiduciary problems of the third degree.Mainly Larry is in default on some major loans and now is in danger of losing his home. So he's sent out the SOS to his sugar mommy to cut him a check and keep a roof over his head, Hitting up the ex to keep you in your new home might sound like a helluva nerve - especially when too was already taken care of - except that Liz has steeped in and done this kind of thing before.

In fact Liz has repeatedly bailed Larry out of one financial jam after another. One fo the most serious was after Larry seriously injured himself falling down the stairs drunk, and was never able to do an honest days work after! Liz paid up his mortgage and then chipped in which some living money.

Once again Larry is in arrears. Since that his house has been foreclosed on. Unless he gets some immediate help, he's gonna be out on the street. Once again he's turned to old reliable except hat this time there's a twist. Liz is in very frail health. By frail think Mr. Burns from the Simpsons before his regular morning defibrillation. So Lizzie isn't actually non compete memphis to go writing out checks to some dead beat she used to screw 20 years ago when she was emotional vulnerable. So this looks like Larry might have to make it on his own. Give him the benefit of the doubt though, if he can hook up with Taylor at Betty Ford, then he jut might have what it takes to jump start his career with a spot on Celebrity Rehab, & if not that then Dancing With The Stars!

Money Never Sleeps & Marriage Comes Back To Haunt You

Happy ever after in the market place

Money and marriage seem to go together like love & marriage in the movies. Why not since we are living in the real world, or at least the material one. So naturally when folks get hitched up money issues get highlighted. That's why the legal profession thought up the pre nup as a form of marriage insurance. Now a famous Hollywood ex wife is helping the law talking guys dream up some new precedents that could impact the way movies get made, for better or for worse.

Deandre Douglas is the ex wife of Michael Douglas. She was his wife back when he had a booming movie career instead of cancer. They split up some where along the way and the usual financial arrangements got made. Deandre went away quietly and Michael went off with a woman who's seldom quiet. That's Happily Ever After on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

Fast forward several years. Michael is still hitched up to Catherine Zeta Jones. He's also make a motion picture come back with Wall Street 2 - Money Never Sleeps. The sequel is an idea you can bank on in Tinsel Town cause it's like betting on success. The people who enjoyed you're previous work will probably come out to see you "to be continued" stuff. That is unless you got drunk, went nuts, and turned racist or something. Then forget about it. Your celebrity career will consist of nothing but beating up your Russian girlfriend and getting your mug shot taken. But enough about Andy Dick.

Wall Street 2 did pretty good because Michael Douglas is a very talented actor director producer screen writer etc. That's just the stuff he takes credit for and not including writing the musical score and working out some snappy choreography that unfortunately never made it in. Plus he's a nice guy by Hollywood standards, which translates into not usually a jerk in man in the street terms. So the flick made some money.

That's where Deandre comes in, and out of the wood work. She's suing mike for a piece of the action. "Didn't she get paid off already?" many of you might be asking. Sure she did. Mike might be a strong willed sex addicted ego maniac but he's not a stinge. Then why is she coming back dogging an ill man? Well as usual there's a catch.

the better half better have!

According to divorce law when a couple splits the better half is entitled to everything the more valuable half earned during their years together. Mike & Didi split up years ago and back when Catherine Zeta was a mere 40 year old slip of a thing. However Wall Street 2 is the sequel to a movie made when Mike was with Didi. So she's arguing that this is a continuation of the first film. So it's covered by community property. So she should get half of Michael's take from the flick.

It's an interesting legal argument that might have some basis. The idea is that this is a totally separate project. The reality is that this plays on some past work. A good portion of the film's success comes from people having enjoyed the previous film. Deandre is entitled to her share from the original, so she has an argument for a piece of this. Whether her lawyers can get a judge to agree with that is a matter for the courts.

This is where the story gets interesting. Hollywood has been running out of good ideas ever since American writers stopped doing good novels and Andrew Lloyd Weber killed Broadway. With the usual sources of good ideas gone that makes sequels an important source of new screenplay material. So tons of these things get made. Most of them aren't as watchable as anything Michael Douglas might do.

Now it's no secret that almost everyone in Hollywood is as into serial marriage as they are into making sequels. It's also common knowledge that divorces cost the big players a bundle. Steven Spielberg got taken for half his net worth when Amy Irving cut him loose. That was about 100 million at the time. Pre nups were supposed to provide the big boys with some kind of coverage. However if this goes through and sets precedent then no one's safe anymore. That means every time some one pumps out some sequel from some thing done tens years or so ago, then the ex and her jackals could come out of the wood work to open old wounds. Since no one wants that this means the death of the sequel!

Since sequels are totally over done and an excuse to get good money out of bad films, it might be worth rooting for Deandre. She could be the woman who kills the sequel. Id f she can pull that off then she'll have changed the way that movies get made. No more resting on past laurels. That can only be good for the industry. Just think of a film industry with no more sequels. So they can get on to making other kinds of flicks. Like stuff based on comic books, video games, and classic TV series. So you go girl!

American Dad

BIlly Ray Cyrus - "Hannah Montana ruined my life"

Billy Ray Cyrus is no stranger to the lime light. About 10 years ago he was a one hit wonder with his Achy Breaky Heart, his Kentucky fried good looks, and his trade mark mullet. Billy Ray's career never recovered from his Achy Breaky Heart. That was to be his one time big hit and he kinda faded into obscurity after that. That is until he became a proud pappy to Disney wunderkin Miley Cyrus.

Miley is Billy R's daughter. She was still a teenager when she was Disney's Hannah Montana. The showed featured Cyrus as Montana - a teenybopper rock star with a Justin Bieber like career. The show was a hit both among teenage girls and creepy middle aged men. So Miley became a bona fide star. That meant Billy Ray got to be a household name again.

“G-String Circus”

It seemed like Billy appreciated his unlikely return to the lime light. He knew how fast it could slip away. So he not only put himself out there again, but encouraged Miley to make the most of it. He even began grooming her for her post Disney Teen career by sexing up in image in preparation for the inevitable shift into adulthood - it's never too soon to start. He released some pictures of her on the net in more mature situations - wet t shirt in shower. He encouraged her to pose nude in Vanity Fair. Plus he liked to tell interviewers about her stripper pole that he had installed int he rec room. He described that as good clean family fun. Now that last bit would come off tacky to anyone even if their last name was Palin!

Billy Ray ain't the first parent to get carried away while living vicariously through their kids. He won't be the only one to have had some second thoughts along the way. In fact Billy Ray has admitted to some regrets about his daughter's career only recently, in a GQ Magazine interview. During the course of the GQ chat Billy admits that he blames the whole Hannah Montana thing for the break up of his marriage. Then he goes on to claim that he's been made the fall guy for his daughter. Said Billy:

"Every time the train went off the track ... her people, or as they say in today's news, her handlers, every time they'd put [the blame on] me ... I took it because I'm her daddy ... OK, nail me to the cross," he told GQ.

Billy also fears that there are people around his daughter who are leading her down the wrong track - though he didn't come right out and say anything about starwhackers. This is what he did say:

"I'm scared for her," he said. "She's got a lot of people around her that's putting her in a great deal of danger. I want to get her sheltered from the storm."

Now this sudden flood of paternal concern might have been more convincing if it had happened before Miley turned 18. Saying things like this after you loose legal custodianship over your daughter's earnings will only make people question your motives. Like maybe you're getting cut out of the action and want back in. So you start dropping a lot of hints and making innuendo that start adding up to "conservatorship". That would be convenient. Especially if you don't think of it as hijacking some one else's life, but more like a Patriot Act for your family (coming soon to American Dad!).

Though Miley is hardly Jessica Simpson - Christina Aquelira - Britney Spears fucked up, she's had her moments. Of course many of those moments were arranged by Billy Ray - but let's not get side tracked. The point is that this is the age of intervention. That means there's usually a good excuse to jump into some one else's life and start meddling. Why let the fact that they're an adult and legally entitled to live their own life stop you?

Besides why wait and take the chance that your daughter could go Britney when you could get a head start on being Jamie Spears right now? Of course the difference is that Jaime Spears didn't maneuver his way into his daughter's life via the media. He stepped in during an emergency, reluctantly. He remains involved at eh request of both Ms Spears and her attorneys. Recruiting support for some kind of family ambush via TMZ & the Internet is really more of a Michael Lohan type move.

John Paul Getty 3 Dead

The name Getty has been in and out of the media for years. It was most recently in the media when television actor Balthazar Getty started seeing Sienna Miller behind his wife's back. Sienna has a habit of doing that sort of thing. It's how she's slept herself into and then out of a major motion picture career. Anyway bats was well known apart from his TV work and risking catching social diseases with Sienna. He was the great grandson of legendary oil tycoon J Paul Getty. His grandfather was JP 2, and his father was John Paul Getty 3 - that Getty.

John Paul Getty 3's life was lived in the public eye since the day he was born - Nov 4 1956. He made an immedaite impession on his grandfather who described him as a "a bright, red-haired little rascal… most cheerful and cute", but things would go down hill from there. A childhood spent in Rome - where his father headed a division of the family business - didn't do much for the lad. It seemed to lead him down the wrong. It was in Rome, in 1964, that hias father divorced his mother - Gail Harris, and took up with Talitha Pol, step grand daughter to Augustus John (artist).

JP3 never got it together after that. He drifted into a Bohemian lifestyle of booze, drugs and bad company. He supported himself painting and nude modeling. He also got himself kidnapped. In 1973, when he was 16, JP3 was taken from his apartment at 3 AM by men who would later demand a ransom for the oil heir's release. That's were things got really sticky.

J Paul 1 - balked at paying the 3 million dollar ransom. His official story was that he had 14 grand kids, and if he paid off on this, he'd have 14 kid napped grandchildren. Now that sounds more tough than fair. People who knew the old man observed that he also balked at paying tips on meals. He once left his pocket change on the table after being nagged about it by a dinner companion. That came to the princely sum of under $1.

The kid nappers weren't to be as easily handled as service personnel. Employees of Italian newspaper Il Messagero received a package containing human hair and a decaying ear. The note claimed that the ear belonged to Getty, and if they weren't paid promptly, more odds and ends would be arriving by post. The old man reconsidered and decided to pay off the ransom. However in typical Getty style he made the payment in the form of a loan to his son, at 4% interest!

The payoff worked and Getty 3 was released. He showed up on the road between Rome and Naples wearing a blanket and covered in blood. He was also malnourished, badly infected, and generally in desperate shape. He'd gotten infected after the ear had come off, and his captors had tried to keep him alive with massive doses of penicillin. Not only did it not cure the infection, but triggered an allergy. His captors had also used alcohol, perhaps to prevent him from cracking up; and he developed an addiction to it.

Thew hole ordeal further deepened rifts within the Getty clan. While JP3 went off to a clinic and then skiing - to recover, his mother spiraled into a depression. When JP3 phoned his grand father - to thank him for paying off, the old man refused to accept the call (maybe it was collect?). With mom in bad shape and C Monty Burns giving hm the silent treatment, JP3 drifted into a deeper relationship with his girlfriend 24 year old actress Martine Zacher. She was 6 years senior to the 18 year old, and also 5 months pregnant by the time the married. The ceremony was something to behold: the bride wore black and Getty was so messed up that the official performing the ceremony questioned whether or not Getty actually knew what was going on. Incidentally the child Zacher was 5 months pregnant with at the time was Balthazar Getty.

BY the time the 70's rolled 'round JP3 was in bad shape. he was now drug addicted, paranoid, and unable to sleep. If he was expecting family support then he would be disappointed again. In 1976 the old man died and left a $4 billion fortune. JP3,a nd his father, were cut out in the will. however a dozen of JP1's female friends - who provided care and support for the old geezer in his declining years - were handsomely rewarded. However JP3 was a beneficiary of the Sarah C Getty Trust (trust funds are what the uber rich set up when they finally figure out that too much money will fuck up their kids). It was fortunate for Getty - if anything in his life could be called fortunate - that he had the family trust to fall back on; since his health was about to take a major crash!

In 77 Getty underwent surgery to repair the damage from his ear amputation. That wasn't the last of his health problems. His body was in rough shape from alcohol & drug abuse, the lad was found of herion and cocaine, in addition to brandy. So in 81 he had a major liver failure. That triggered a stroke, which lead to 6 weeks in coma. When he awoke, he was blind, mute, and paralyzed. It was beginning to look like the only thing he'd inherited from his grandfather was all the trouble that money could buy (which is often plenty!).

Getty showed that he'd inherited something else from the old man - will power. Getty submitted to a cruel therapy & rehabilitation regime, which involved daily painful physio. He made some measure of recovery and by the late 80's was able to get out an about again. In fact he was sometimes seen at the movies, and other social events. he even made one foray back onto the slopes. his health was that fully recovered though, and he could only ski while strapped into a metal frame.

Health was to remain the issue through out the remainder of his life. His home had been converted into something his friend Timothy Leary described as a high tech hospital ward. Behind the wall panels in Getty's home were the most advanced medical equipment available at the time, just in case they ever came in handy. Apparently with the push of a button walls would flip, and the tech would emerge, like a scene from a James Bond film. Some of the lifestyle accouterments concealed behind the oak paneling included lasers, X-ray machines and even a private blood bank.

Despite his efforts JP3 never did escape the wheel chair. That left him mostly confined to his family estate in Buckinghamshire, Chilterns. The family home, named Wormsley, was on 3000 acres, and had been designed like a theme park version of an aristocratic manor home. There was a cricket pitch, mock castle, towers, and everything except a moat and draw bridge. It also contained one of the best collections of rare books. On a practical note it had been completely wheel chair adapted. It was on the Wormley estate that John Paul Getty 3 died Tuesday. He was 54.

Love Story Is Still Dying Hard

Love is never having to say "Pee in this cup"

More trouble for Redmond O Neal - son of the late Charlie's Angels actress Farrah Fawcett. Now young Redmond is no stranger to trouble, any more than any other member of the O Neal clan. Tatum O Neal was most recently in the news a couple of years back when she got busted on the streets of New York trying to buy crack from a narc. Tatum claimed that she was doing research for a role. That was a lame excuse. For one thing no one's offered her series work for a very long time.

brother bother

Brother Griffith is an even worse mess. He's been in and out of trouble of years. Actually that's a half truth. He's never been out of trouble. His worst incident was when he contributed ot the death of Francis Ford Coppola's son. Ryan was doing some movie project for FFC. So naturally it seemed the thing to do to let the boys hang out. Getting chummy with the Coppola's would be a career boost. Alas those are the kinds of errors of judgment that have helped make Ryan the father that he is.

While Griffith and young Coppola were out on the water in their high speed jet boat Griffith thought that it would be a hoot to run the boat between 2 moored boats. He only saw the tow line between them in time to duck. Not in time to warn his companion. The younger Coppola was killed instantly. This was not only a human tragedy, it also stalled out Ryan's faltering film career.

blood ties

Griffith has had some Redmond related brouhaha too. The worst incident involved a freak out that made tabloid headlines. Redmond has some major drug issues that his family has struggled with for years. At one point it got so bad that they were afraid to leave him alone, lest he go Lohan and make a beeline for the nearest drug score. So Ryan comes up with another of his novel solutions. He leaves Griffith in charge of his younger brother.

the ties that bind

Seems that Ryan had to go out during the Redmond watch period to go do whatever. So he gives Griffith some very express orders not to let the kid out of the house for any reason whatsoever. Ryan goes does his thing - whatever that maybe - and when he returns what should he see but that Griffith has obeyed him tot he letter. Maybe even above and beyond the letter of the law. In order to prevent Redmond from sneaking out to go buy dope Griffith had tied the lad to a chair!

family dysfunction of Biblical proportions

Despite the fact that Griffith had made an effort to follow his father's instructions, and that brothers do this sort of thing all the time, Ryan freaked. He started wailing away on Griffith. Griff wasn't having that so he picked up a fire place poker and started swinging. Ryan runs off up to his room and returns with a pistol., Shots are fired and Griffith's pregnant fiancee getting injured. How depends on which story you listen to. Some have Ryan wounding Griff's fiancee in the arm. Others have him shooting at Griff and the lad wounding the girl himself, while flailing away at his dad with the poker. Details aside the pint is that Ryan could surely teach Charlie Sheen a thing or two about bad behavior.

This whole sad sorry state was a great drain on Fawcett in her final days. As she struggled with cancer, Redmond kept on getting into trouble. He even got busted and had to visit his mom in her final days while wearing a county orange jump suit & shackles, and while being escorted by prison guards. Friends of Farrah say that it's lucky that she was too out of it at the time to fully realize what was going on.

sometimes when we touch - if you've got the money honey I got the time

This added to the strain of her troubled relationship with Ryan. They'd separated years before but got back together at about the time of her cancer diagnosis. Ryan begged her to marry him, but Farrah always refused. People thought that she was being proud and stubborn until more of the story started coming out. Some of it came from Griffith - who hates his father. He told Larry King on air that Ryan was only cozying up to Farrah because he hoped to be remembered in the will. It was then hinted by some of the actress's friends that she kept refusing marriage because she intended to keep Ryan out of the will and didn't want him having any claim on her estate - which he would have had if he had legally been her spouse.

bon vivant mal homme

Farrah finally passes and leaves her entire estate - 4.5 million - to her only son Redmond. Ryan gets zilch. Perhaps that's why he was blowing off some grief with a mystery brunette at about the time, or immediately prior to, Farrah's death. That got picked up by German website Bild.com, complete with a picture of Ryan frolicking with the lady in question. Wondertrash was one of the few English language websites to pick that up. Ryan was still too sympathetic for bigger concerns to dare to release the news. Ryan's sympathetic status would change when daughter Tatum - the crack user - revealed that he'd hit on her during Farrah's funeral. He'd given her the old "Hey babe" routine. Tatum explained away the merry widower's behavior by pointing out that they hadn't seen each other for years - so he didn't recognize her; and besides he was always a "bon vivant". Meanwhile the Redmond story continued to develop.

father goes farther

Griffith - who blew the whistle on his father scheme to get in the will, also warned that Ryan would be Redmond's new best friend now since that's where the money was. The two continued to get int trouble together too. Both father on son got charged in a meth bust. The police raided because Redmond had screwed up his probation. When they searched the house the found methamphetamine in Ryan's bedroom. So the pair were hauled off for father & son mugshots!

something like Peyton Place?

Griff' predictions seem to be coming true. For those who worried about Ryan & Redmond spending time together there's some bad news - the two are joined at he hip these days. In fact they have a closeness that would be the envy of other less dysfunctional father and son's. The reason for the closeness, according to cynics, is money. Not that Ryan is trying to hit the kid up. Farrah foresaw that and left Redmond's money in the hands of executors and trustees; responsible people who are to make sure that the lad stays clean. Ryan ain't named among them. Ryan's latest scheme is more nefarious than that.

Fatherwood - a dose of everything and 'reality' too!

Seems that Ryan has got it in his head that he can cash in by making a documentary about his late partner's life. He's already been shopping it around to. Seems that the selling point is having Redmond on board, since Ryan's name is mud and no one is interested in sullying Farrah's memory by listening to him talk about her. They might feel more genuinely sympathetic towards poor old Redmond. So with that in mind the old man is Redmond's new BFF, and take s the lad with him where ever he goes with an eye to involving the lad in the documentary. Now that sounds pretty low but some are afraid that Ryan has some even worse in mind, possibly a reality TV series instead of a documentary. Docs don't get you anywhere unless you're Michael Moore. Reality TV is where the action is, and even a Palin can cash in to the max!

"We can't all be ace dad's like Alec Baldwin, but I'm no Michael Lohan!"

Now that has friends of the late Fawcett worried. They're worried because Ryan is a horrible influence. That's not just a personal opinion either, but the opinion of the courts. Back in 2009 Ryan was banned from visiting Redmond in rehab. It was as if they thought he was contributing factor No 1 to the poor lad's sad predicament. Then again maybe they were just letting that father son meth bust influence their judgment. Some impressions are so hard to undo.

Your reality check is in the mail

The upshot is Fawcett's friends are concerned that Redmond is still struggling with his issues. If Ryan is too involved in the kid's life at this time it might result in him entering another down ward spiral. That would be a high price to pay just so Ryan can get that deal done. Then again Ryan's never been worried about the price as long as some one else - usually a close family member - is available to pay it. Perhaps if he really wanted to pitch a reality TV series people would want to watch then he could do something where he enrolls in boot camp; ideally a boot camp for boobs!

boot camp boobs

Poor Powergirl. Speaking of which the O Neals ain't the only celebrity family dealing with heavy shit. In fact Hilary Clinton's shit is so heavy that she could use a trip to boot camp! This recent picture shows the Sec of Sate bulging out of a orange pant suit like a spoiled cantaloupe or over ripe orange!

Hollywood Halloween

Is Hollywood culling it's greatest asset - the Beautiful People?

Show some respect - that nut used to be Randy Quaid!

Randy Quaid used to be a respected Hollywood actor. That is up until about a year ago. That's when Randy and his wife Evi got busted for ripping off a California Hotel to the tune of 10 500. There were more charges in Texas. Some allegations of illegal squatting got made - the Quaids claimed that they were the real owners of the property, one they had sold years previously in what Randy claims was a fraud - and soon the Quaids were wanted criminals. Before the story was finished breaking Dog the Bounty Hunter, on the George Lopez Show, was swearing bloody justices on the hapless couples asses even as they were applying for political asylum in Vancouver, Canada.

The Quaids got busted outside a bank when Randy had tried to mortgage some property - hopefully something he hadn't been swindled out of previously. The bank ran his name through the computer and up comes the warrant that had been issued. Police were there before you could say "fuzz" and the Quaids were being lead off in handcuffs while requesting asylum and making some strange claims.

The strange claims are that the Quaids lives are in danger if they are returned to Hollywood. They are in danger because near the very top of Hollywood there is a small cabal of "Starwhackers". According to the demented mutterings of Evi Quaid star-whackers are a group in Hollywood who murder that town's leading lights, not as an offering to some pagan god or in some Illuminati blood sacrifice ritual; but in a cold blooded and calculated attempt to hype films through the publicity created when a star, like Heath Ledger, dies.

Now when word of the Quaids' novel conspiracy theory came to light it had casual observing asking "Is Quaid nuts, or is his wife the fruitcake and has she taken Randy's sanity hostage?" Well it turns out that the Crazy Quaids have a fairly well formulated theory to explain their bizarre behavior (but then again doesn't every certifiable lunatic?). Here, in his own words, are the gist of Randy Quaid's strange irrational fears:

"Up until a year ago Evi and I had never had any run-in with the law whatsoever," he said.

"We are not criminals nor are we fugitives from justice. Nor are we crazy. We are simply artists and filmmakers who are being racketeered on."

The brother of actor Dennis Quaid then broke down when he told a gathered media pack about how the criminal group had some of Hollywood's biggest names in its sights.

Actor Randy Quaid has fled to Canada, where he is seeking asylum.

"We believe there to be a malignant tumour of 'star-whackers' in Hollywood," he said.

"How many people do you know personally who have died suddenly and mysteriously in the last five years?

"I have personally known eight actors, all of whom I have worked with and was close to - Heath Ledger, Chris Penn, David Carradine among them.

"I believe these actors were whacked and I believe many others, such as Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Mel Gibson, are being played to get at their money."

PETA Quaid style - People for the Ethical Treatment of Actors

In other words organized crime in Hollywood is more organized than ever. Plus movie stars are an endangered species. These ideas aren't really new. Hollywood has been killing it's stars for years. Most people assumed that this was in the form of fame causalities like Marylin Munroe and James Dean, and was a by product or side effect of the process. It was the price of doing business. The problem may have been systemic - part of the way deals get done, talent gets exploited, and celebrities get thrown onto the tracks after they've outlived their usefulness. Nobody believed that it was a deliberate and conscious act.

However the Quaids have taken this idea to the next level - by taking it literally. So many people have wound up show business causalities in the past year or so alone; people like Corey Haim, Heath Ledger, Gary Coleman, and Michael Jackson - who's own family accused the accounts handling him of deciding that he was "worth more dead". So either this was gross negligence in the Hollywood community or it was some kind of deliberate plot to destroy over ambitious food service types. (It's best to get them while they're still small - today a waiter but tomorrow they're an A Lister smashing up hotel rooms and driving under the influence while aimed in your general direction.) Since star deaths were getting so consistent in the entertainment industry, deliberate malice almost makes sense.

If this was a social satire media stunt a la PETA then they might be onto something. AS satire it's promising. As an attempt to stay out of the USA, or as a literally belief - it promises to make things a lot more interesting. It might even have made a great story idea for a movie script. Although it must be said that "Attack of the Hollywood Star Whackers" sounds grindhouse. I guess the theories plausible if you can believe that life in Hollywood can imitate B Movies. Maybe they could revive that old script for "The Plot to Replace the Justice League". Lines like "If that's a robot then where is the real Wonder Woman?" could be adapted so easily to this kind of scenario.

Now many people will find the Quaids wild theories far fetched as they role their eyes and smirk at the talk of organized death squads of celebrity stalking star whackers roaming LA in search of their quarry - moderately attractive and some what personable ex waiters and waitresses who fluked into fame and fortune. Then again everything that goes on in Hollywood sounds a little implausible - from "Change your weight by changing your consciousness" to spinning class for pets. So while you're laughing up yourselves just stop and ask yourself whether this is the weirdest thing that ever came out of Hollywood. Besides conspiracy theories have been gaining mainstream credibility ever since Oliver Stone did JFK. Besides there are some even wilder theories out there - like those espoused by Gary Bell in The View From Space. Let's have a listen to Gary's Halloween edition!

There's more to Halloween than evil conspiracies. There's also dressing up in fetish wear and parading around at parties.

"I could totally do you in that handcuffed, ball gagged circus clown number!"

Good luck lonely naked single lady!

Momma Mia

a little tittle tattle

The Gawker has caught everyone's attention with a salacious bit of tittle tattle posted earlier today. According to their blind gossip item a major celebrity - barely an A Lister in their words - is a very sick customer. When they say sick they mean well beyond the usual Hollywood standards. This guy isn't just content with anal sex, or to crap in chicks' mouths, like the rest of those Walk of Fame perverts. This guy's into a whole other ball of wax!

Don't take my word for it. The exact piece posted went like this:

He calls his mates "mom" and sucks his thumb after sex. This famous ladies' man's girlfriend got knocked up to snag him and this pregnant celeb is having a test tube baby. Everyone has mommy issues!

1. "According to an ex-girlfriend of this A list movie actor (barely A list by the way), our actor likes to call the person he is having sex with, "mom" and also sucks his thumb after sex. Can you say disturbing?" [CDaN]

Man that's some awful stuff! Though we might have expected this kind of stuff from Ronald & Nancy Reagan, we expect something more dangerous and exotic from our professional actors! Strangely not many people are asking who it could be. It's as if folks already have some pretty strong ideas about who the Hollywood Mama's Boy might be. Now Hollywood is spoiled for choice when it comes to selecting among deviants, however there's just one name that shoots ahead of the rest when it comes to these sort of shenanigans.

The name of course is David Arquette and he was vocal on Howard Stern's Sirius Radio about the mommy angle in his Courtney Cox relationship. He told Howie that Courts dumped him because she was tired of being his "Mommy". Now we all took that to be figurative. You know the sort of thing; Dave was an immature and irresponsible oaf - like Homer Simpson - and Courts got tired of playing Marge. However as the following CNN video confirms, he did cry after sex.

No wonder Courtney dumped his sissy ass! That must've just gotten way too creepy after awhile. That's so far beyond creepy that waking up post coitus on Dexter's dissection table would be a relief in comparison to the crying and thumb sucking. Many people cry after sex, and even during and before. Also sucking is not an unknown occurrence. However what if this points to some kind of deeper issue. There's a very short step from crying to thumb sucking. So could Mr. Arquette by the Gawker Mystery Weenie? Like we say here @ Wondertrash "celebrities are fucked up people!". I wonder if Dave made Courtney spank him during sex, and if this sis something he picked up off of Brit Celebs? I hear that they're all into that shit over there! Why couldn't he be into normal kinky stuff, like every other pervert not on a sex offenders' registry?

Lindsay Lohan: On the Bubble, Again

repeat offender

"What in the fuck is wrong with Lindsay Lohan?" That's what the celebrity gossip world is asking after the young actress flunked yet another court mandated drug test. Since last night's wondertrash post, the exact substance of concern has been made known and it is none other than cocaine. Lindsay herself admitted this via Twitter. She made a brief 140 character statement owning up to her latest misdeed. In addition to admitting that she was on coke, she also owned up to having a problem. Now that's not saying much; and admitting the obvious may merely be an attempt to preserve some credibility after all other options have been exhausted.

A little Michael Lohan goes a long way

That brings us back to the question of Lindsay's problem. Her father Michael, as usual, has an opinion. He claims that if he'd been in her life after her release from jail/rehab, none of this ever would have happened. That raises another good question; 'where the hell was he?' not only post release, but in the half dozen or so years previous. The short answer to that is in and out of jail on various charges from fraud to assault. On second thought less of Michael Lohan might be better than more.

go to your room!

There's also the opinion that since the courts have been notoriously easy on Lindsay, she's got no motivation to straighten out. These DUI related charges have been getting recycled through the legal system for years now - ever since Lindsay first started going off the rails circa 2007. Back then she smashed up several luxury sedans and pricey cars - 3 in a matter of months - before finally getting nailed. That got dismissed pending her completion of some court ordered self help work. Lindsay either did the minimum required, or skipped completely, so that she was required to appear before court again and again, for more stern talking to's. No matter how many times she was told to go and think about what she'd done, she never got around to changing her ways.

a bad case of celebrity personality disorder?

Finally there's the expert opinion, from celebrity observer Will Lee. In discussion with ABC News he hits on something that wondertrash regulars will have known all along. Let's call it the obvious. According to Mr. Lee, Lindsay problem is that she's an actress, and they're a fucked up breed. Worse for Lohan she's been an actress since childhood (which is better at least than being born one like poor Drew Barrymore). That's a serious condition, similar to Cameron Douglas style pre adolescent drug addiction. In other words she became conditioned to a life of play acting and make believe.

blame Hollywood

Added to the general lose of touch with reality is the Follywood milieu which not only supports but encourages a high degree of immaturity. As Mr Lee calls it " A perpetual summer camp without adult supervision". Follywood denizens are encouraged to live the dreams and take it to the limit, as far as their hearts desire. So the town ain't in the business of telling people "no". Here's Mr Lee to describe the situation in his own words:

next role - Jerri Blank!

Mr. Lee seems to be a very articulate and insightful gentleman (he must be a wondertrash reader!). He covers the essential points too: errant father, enabling mother, lax legal system, Follywood lifestyle. So the simple answer is that there's no simple answer to Ms Lohan's woes. Or at least no one answer. It is safe to say that we will be hearing more from her, at least on Twitter if not in a professional capacity!

Starbucks once again safe for the beautiful people!

Speaking of outrages against justice, remember that chick who got doused with acid outside a Vancouver Washington Starbucks? To refresh your memory she was the one who said that a black woman did it. That incident provoked an outpouring of sympathy, and no shortage of racists comments on youtube. It turns out that the whole thing was a hoax. No the woman's face really was damaged with acid, however there was no black woman involved. It turns out that she did it to herself! What could have been her motivation? Here now are some of the usual professional commentators to speculate on the motive to her madness.




"A black person did it!" White folks always fall for that line. BTW regarding the many spelling, grammatical, and syntactical errors on this blog - black computer hackers. A whole gang of them! It's a pack of Steve Urkels abusing their computer skills to mess up my blog and undermine my credibility!

Dirty Harry

More trouble for Britain's Prince Harry. Everyone is familiar with Harry; he's the other British Prince - the one who gets into trouble and who doesn't send out a vaguely gay vibe. Now Harry knows a think or two about getting into trouble - he runs his mouth off occasionally and when he does reporters are usually there to record the event for later publication, and eventual world wide distribution.

The latest trouble has nothing to do with what Harry said, or should've said. It something that strikes dear to the heart of every eccentric old Brit - animal cruelty. Harry is a great one for polo - like his father before him. It's a game that he plays in great earnest. Unfortunately for Harry his earnestness got some attention recently when the Prince was noticed putting the spurs to his polo pony with a vengeance. In fact the animal started bleeding. As the horse bleed, spectators watched aghast, the paparazzi phoned their editors to announce that Harry had done it again.

Naturally their was a brouhaha about Harry's animal abuse. That lead to Andrew Tyler of Animal Aid making an official public denunciation of Harry, and of the Royal Family in general. Here's what that saucy fellow had to say:

"Polo is a very rough activity that causes stress and injuries to horses. The use of spurs in such a fast-moving event is a vicious indulgence. Spurs are unnecessary for a competent rider and should not be used to punish a horse for the rider’s failure to gain advantage. Prince Harry comes from a background of hunting and shooting which is at odds with the vast majority of the British public."

In other words this happened because they're not like us! It would be ironic if the palace spin doctors were working on something similar - to explain away Harry's egregious lack of sensitivity; "You can't really blame him. The lad lost his mother. Oh yeah and he's a cold blooded Reptilian who eats live food!" I guess that Mr Tyler has saved the public from hearing another awkward Palace mea culpe. Well good for him. Besides, I'm sure that the mea cuple's will keep - for Harry's next misadventure!

It's important to note that not all Brits are monstrous abusers of animal. Only the inbred bluebloods. It's part of their rich tradition. Besdies many are so genetically damaged that they only technically qualify as human. The rest are very sentimental about our little four legged friends. In fact their support even extends to organizations like Greenpeace, and to seal hunt protests a la Heather Mills (she's the woman who nearly killed Sir Paul McCartney and did kill a neighbor's dog with fire works, unintentionally!). They've also added to the world's collection of animal based literature (the Brits would). So, and in the spirit of presenting a fair and balanced depiction of the British People's, here's a little tutorial on how to draw Whinny the Pooh. Just be thoughtful and draw him nice - no gang signs or fire arms. Try to be conscious of cartoon animal cruelty too.

Ashton Kucther cheating rumours

independent pretense

Back when Demi Moore married Ashton Kutcher many people asked themselves "How long can it last?" She is many years older than he is. Now that Demi is many years older than she was when she met Ashton, the cheating rumours are finally starting. Here what recently got posted on Jezebel:

Back in July, Ashton was at the Italian restaurant Madeo in LA with friends and “a bevy of women who looked like fashion models.” He “snuck off” with one “stunner” to a dark, secluded, hallway bathroom.

An eyewitness says: “Ashton had this gorgeous girl pinned against the wall and he was totally making out with her.” He had his baseball cap turned around “for easier access to the thin and leggy girl’s lips.”

The source says: “His hands were on her hips and she was pushing up against the mirrored wall so she couldn’t move, and he was grinding on her. He heard me walk by, and tried to bury his face in her neck so I wouldn’t recognize him. But I could see him clearly, because he was reflected in the mirror. I also saw him earlier at the bar. I know what he was wearing. So there’s no mistaking that it was Ashton Kutcher.”

So we have Ashton and some model types caught in an act of hanky panky by the usual unnamed sources! Naturally Ashton and Demi were quick to respond to this by their usual medium of choice - Twitter (perhaps they've discovered that Twitter is an easier means of getting attention that making movies?):




So the situation has gone from serious to libelous. How could things reach this point? Well things were fine and dandy while Bruce Willis was the 3rd Musketeer. Back then his presence as a 3rd wheel in the relationship had more tongues wagging then the Demi Ashton age difference.Though Ashton claimed he could teach a course on getting along with the ex Willis revealed that he had made a conscious effort to get along with everyone. For one thing he liked seeing his kids. For another he still had a thing for his ex.

Though the triangle is usually the most dangerous relationship shape, this time it provided stability. Demi was free to take it easy with Ashton, knowing that if worst came to worst it wasn't that bad - she still had Bruce waiting in the wings. In addition to the ego stroking this must've given her it must also have given her an upper hand in the realtionship. Now, in addition to being older, more successful, and more experienced than Ashton, she also didn't even really need him emotionally.

This situation came to and end when Bruce got remarried to a chick he'd met while doing Perfect Stranger (PS was Bruce's vehicle for wife hunting. For the female supporting role he had casting directors shop around modeling agencies for him. The agencies sent in the head shots and if he saw anyone he liked he'd invite them around for an audition which he sat in on.). That left Demi as a 45+ actress married to a 30 something and with no prospects at all if he ever left. Eventually there were bound to be rumours.

Assuming that the rumours are true - we can't be exactly sure why the apple cart got upset now. Maybe Ashton started feeling his oats. He's a relatively young, bright, successful actor who's established an independent career for himself. So maybe now was the time for him to begin acting more confidently.

Then again maybe it was Demi who changed. Now that Ashton was all she had, she might have started clinging on with a vengeance. You know how attractive that can be! For some strange reason a desperate clingy woman will drive guys away at supersonic speed. So perhaps as reality set in, Moore got a little freaked by it, and started turning the screws on the vice she was tightening! Many chicks will try that, even though it usually has the opposite effect to what was intended.

Anyway the upshot is that I'm inclined to think that there may be something to it this time. There some interesting circumstantial evidence, in addition to all those unnamed sources that the tabs keep referring to. Even if it is true, Ashton and Demi may get through this. Even if they don't they've had a good ten year run together, and that's more than most celebrity love affairs ever get! Here's looking at you, kids!

Levi Johnston is shooting for the stars - but still firing blanks!

Moron doesn't know when to quit

Levi Johnston seems serious about his mayoral run in Wasilla. That's promising since so far the guy has show a real lack of follow through! He knocked up Bristol Palin - soon to be seen on Dancing With the Stars - and went on to be a dead beat dad. Then he said alot of stuff about Sarah Palin, which he took back publicly. He even apologized to Sarah, but then he took that back claiming he'd been tricked into making it. Then he announced his engagement to Bristol. That went bust - much to Sarah Palin's relief - when word got out that he'd knocked up another gal. When the engagement went bust so did his plans for a reality TV series with Bristol. So the lad has had some real trouble making things stick.

more schemes and scams

When he announced his plans to run for office up in Alaska, people naturally assumed that this was some kind of lame publicity stunt. They also expected it to run it's course in about 15 minutes or so. That's the usual half life of a Levi Johnston scheme. However that lad is out and about trying to win the voters over.

bullet boy takes aim, sets sights on whatever

For instance Levi recently made a public appearance at a Wasilla gun store. Johnston showed up at Chimo Guns to meet and greet anyone silly enough to vote for him (don't count him out 'cause Alaskans did vote Palin in as governor). Naturally he showed up with a camera crew in tow - don't leave home without one. Levi does seem to have more than public service on his mind. He's taping his mayoral run for a reality TV series called 'Loving Levi: The Road to the Mayor's Office'.

let's give 'em something to talk about

So how did this recent fiasco turn out? Well here's what TMZ employees had to say: "We're told Levi talked with some of the employees at the shop about hunting -- but according to our source, the political hopeful hasn't had any time to kill some Dall sheep [Levi's game of choice] ... probably because of the whole reality show thing."

So he's staying focused! Maybe his manager Tank Jones has something to do with that. The fellow seems to have an insane confidence in Johnston. Tank told Radaronline "People questioned Jesus Christ, so I definitely don't care about these mere mortals questioning Levi Johnston. People can question whatever they want. I mean, he's going to keep on doing his thing. He was going to do this, even if this wasn't a reality show. If you live in a town and things are happening in that town, and you're displeased with it, what do you do? You try to change those things."

2 heads better than one, but 2 half wits don't add up to whole wittedness

So Levi is bigger than Jesus now. I don't know what Mr Tank is taking or even talking about, but by the sounds of him he better check himself into one of those rehabs fast. He already sounds like he's got some advanced brain damage going on. He can't rely on the '2 heads are better than 1' principle either, 'cause the other head in this belongs to Levi - a man who publicly admits to being out witted by Sarah Palin. So that would make this a case of 2 half wits failing to add up to whole wittedness. Never mind Levi. there's plenty of opportunities left. Octomom is broke and desperate - so there's got to be an in there for you! Besides, now that he's staying focused, the next step on the path to maturity might be developing a plan B. It's good to have a fall back position, in case his efforts to undermine democracy come up short.