Virtual Circus Maximus: Sex & Death in the Matrix
Some sad news. Actress Dixie Carter, the wife of actor Hal Holbrook and star of 80's hit sit com Designing Women, has passed away at the age of 70.
Quiet you!
As for Dixie's DW co stars, Delta Burke is still married to Major Dad Gerald McCraney, and she is still fat. Fortunately she has the good taste to be quiet about being fat, unlike professional Tweeter Kirstie Alley.
Life, but not as we know it
Meanwhile life as we know it continues on. The girl everyone has heard enough of already - Miley Cyrus - is planning on marrying her current beau Liam Hemsworth, or is she? Miley's is kinda young to go tyin' the knot, but she was also kind of young to date an underwear model, star in a movie, have a hit TV series, and dance around a stripper pole (Which her sleazy daddy Billy Ray says is good wholesome family fun - if you're married to your 1st cousin maybe - and is only for fitness anyway). So who knows.
Let's hope that things work out better for her than a certain Survivor producer who's currently up on charges for doing in his wife.
Working on that show was bound to be a bad influence. Besides he didn't even get a way with it. So hopefully the myth of Survivor is finally been debunked.
Leave it to Bieber!
What would a week's worth of gossip be without Internet phenom Justin Bieber?
Disturbing teen trends
Justin Bieber is truly the most disturbing teen trend since Donny Osmond was a heart throb, Miley Cyrus not included. Since Miley Ray Clampett is so fired up to get married maybe she should wait a couple of years and latch onto Justy. Why that would be a match made in reality TV hell. Or she could just get hitched to cousin Jethro (BTW Jethro shortens neatly into Jet, so the name is probably due for a revival, at least among celebrity offspring).
The people's champion, bought, paid for, and ready for world wide distribution
Justin Bieber is being hyped as the people's star. He was discovered on youtube. Now he was discovered by Usher, who's gone on to manage the lad's career - so this whole thing ain't a grass roots ground swell as much as a carefully packaged and presented marketing ploy. That's what the music industry specializes in, ask Simon Cowell; so this shouldn't be news to anyone. Usher probably got the idea by watching American Idol.
Selling your soul in a buyers' market - Hey Usher, can I be a phenomenon too?
BTW I hear that Usher is currently on the look out for some one to write Justin's Twitter updates. Justin is much to busy to Tweet for himself. Now that should be a give away, but since when has a celebrity ever stopped short because the idea was bad? So if you can't fake being a 14 year old boy who can already fake sincerity, then just contact Usher via his Twitter account, or leave a video response on his youtube channel. Hey, it worked for the Beiber!
Public Image Ltd.
Image management is the entertainment industry's specialty. They spare no effort or expense when it comes to trying to get others to do what they want them to. As a result we don't know whether Sandra Bullock knew that her husband was a stripper screwing nazi or whether she was just really dumb and gullible. Who can even start to make heads or tails out of Tiger Woods predicament (if the A2M rumors are true Tiger has a bit of trouble making heads or tails of things). This creats a serious problem: we as spectators don't know who to root against because we've gotten lost in the Hollywood smoke & mirrors show.
Free your mind with punk gossip and conspiracy theories
The good news is that there is an answer. Freeing your mind is the first step to actualizing your inner malice. Once you've pulled the wool off you eyes you'll know who you want to stick it to, and who can wait until you get around to sticking them. Here's Alan Watts (not the zen guy) to show you how you can cut through the matrix!
Stay hungry & always leave 'em wanting more!
Life in the matrix ain't as good as you might think. Sure you get to lie around in a stupor all day. However there is naught to eat but Soylent Green! Eat all you want and want all you eat, but remember that you're on the menu too. If you get eaten it's your own fault.
