was next
Since Al Gore and wife Tipper announced the end of their long time political partnership, & their marriage; folk have been wondering "Why now?" Since it couldn't have taken Al this long to realize his political future was past him "I was the next President of the United States"), people are speculating about what wild stories could lie behind the split. While Al Gore ain't the man his boss is, Tiger Woods has shown what unsuspected extremes Mr Clean Cut types can be privately going to.
This is Al Gore - he doesn't have a scandal in him
So while the world anticipates some unexpected scandal from Al Gore, and perhaps also the unexpected pleasure of feeling that they've underestimated him, I'd just like to caution everyone not to get their hopes too far up. This is Al Gore we're talking about. Though it's possible that he might have been carrying on illicit affairs with tattooed porn actresses and fugitive South American strippers all along and under Bill Clinton's nose (not to mention our noses), I'd like to remind you that their are other reasons for a marriage to bust up besides illegitimate offspring and years of drug abuse.
Still on the waiting list for a personality transplant
For instance Tipper may have become jealous of the other woman in Al's life: Mother Gaea. He's always running off with U2 to save the planet concerns and yet doesn't catch as much as a case of charisma off the rock singers. Or he's out in the field showing his integrity by hugging trees instead of Tipper. By the time she got him every birch in the wood has had him. All she got in return would be a mouth full of twigs and a few burrs. Now sleeping with Al on some nights must be like bedding down with a stalled lawn mower!
"The last time I got to meet a rock star was when I tried to get music banned back in the 80's!"
Maybe Tipper got tired of the constant save the planet talk. Now no one is gonna deny that the planet is important, even the last ones to admit it. However when a topic develops such a narrow focus that it lasers out everything else, then that can be a bit of a bore. In fact it can suck the life out of everything else.
Say you've got Bono and the Edge over for granola and organic greens. You're a bored Washington political wife and you're not Lynda Carter so you're desperate for a little excitement. Before you can ask the boys how bad they carry on out on tour, you're husband has hi jacked the conversation by bringing up some tree frog down in the Amazon. Next thing you know Edge and Bono are keenly involved in the conversation because they're silly enough to think that it gives them credibility. It couldn't do that even if there were TV cameras there to record it!
Love is never having to say "Shut up about the environment already!"
Finally Tipper may have just gotten sick of living with Mr Spock for these 30 odd years. Al does claim that he personally was the inspiration for Preppy in his Yale classmate Erich Fromm's Love Story. Well him and Tommy Lee Jones. Originally he hinted that Tipper was the inspiration for Jenny but later recanted on the basis of Tipper not being interesting enough for Mr Fromm to use. He also claims to have been the guy who invented the Internet, discovered Love Canal, charted the 4rth corner of the Bermuda Triangle, and fathered Oprah Winfrey on Phil Donahue. He say a lot of things and even that doesn't make him more interesting. He's a man who's primary personality trait is Asperger's Syndrome. So maybe Tipper just got sick of it. Let's face it, the nation and the world know how Al Gore is. If you need a reminder, then see for yourselves:
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If the car is off the road it's because he took his eyes away from the wheel long enough to look at the road map!
If that's Al Gore's idea of a celebration - and we've seen his idea of a presidential campaign, then the man might not have the imagination for a scandal. So we can guess what his idea of a divorce is: what he said, an amicable split. Al Gore is the most famous anti celebrity in the world, & for that I give him credit, sort of. However I'd have to caution people about slowing down a the scene of an accident. Ned Flanders probably just wants more time to spend writing books. So move along folks, cause there's nothing here to see. What did you really expect.
