Hello Larry

Liz Taylor was not only one of Hollywood's true movie stars; She got around. She married Eddie Fischer just months before she ran off to do Cleopatra with Richard Burton. Eddie - like poor Nick Lacey with Jessica, had no idea what was what until Richie and Lizzie were exchanged expensive stones and other more personal forget me nots, By the time the show was over Liz decided that she wanted a Greek Hero, even if that mean a Welsh actor playing a Roman. So there was no room for a little Jewish singer in her life.

Now that's fine and well. People expected Taylor to run around like a cat with liniment on her arse, except that in this case the was a twist. Lizzie had stolen Fischer away from Tanny. Now Tammy was the wholesome Mountain Dew Elli May Clampett time who innocence appealed to horny adolescent boys. Innocence was a big part of her appeal. So when Taylor - who was the vamp of the day - moved in for the kill. Spectators viewed it as something a wolf goring Bambie in one of those morbid Disney films,

To put it in modern perspective - it was the same as when Angelina Jolie stole Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston. People decided that she'd gone a little too far - but since she was an oversexed bitch that they couldn't blame her as long as she meant it. So Eddie and Lizzie lived it up for a few mothers and then Lizzie's hot sexy bitch instincts took over.

As mentioned she went off to do Cleopatra with Richard Burton. Burton played Marc Anthony - a proud, intelligent brave; and even more than that - the last of the Greek Heroes. Lizzie as Cleopatra had to seduce Marc -Ricard Anthony, because they're passionate doomed love affair formed the basis of the story. That meant that Richie and Lizzie had to do plenty of scripted sexy time pulls lots of emotionally charged scenes! soon it was bye-bye Tammy.

There's been a lot of talk about who was to blame int his. Tammy was the beloved image of innocent youth, and Liz was the voracious man eating vagina dentata. Since those were the parts that they were supposed to play then no one could really blame Lizzie too much. It didn't go down well and the vox populi (they phrase vox populi is handier than "they" since interlocutors will then get cute and asked you who "they" are. Now one will defy the vox populi.), who decided that she'd get a pass if Lizze was serious. That was the Brad Angelina Jennifer scenario of their day.

Well Lizzie buggered that up by dropping Fischer like a hot potato when she went after Burton. Liz had that Jolie" I do what ever the hell I want because I'm a wild crazy fuck!' attitude. So she may not have been well aware of the seriousness of the situation when she embarked on her affair wit Burton. When she dropped him after a few months to go after Burton - the public turned and never quite forgave her.

That's a paralleled to today's Bragelinsten arrangement to - where the public has decided they'll let jolie get way with this, but they can't expect anymore from them just because she's hers. So her picture shave flopped even though Anstion has a steady A List career. Jolie may be shying away from dropping Pitt because she's afraid of a little of the Hollywood voodoo that hit Lizzie, in the form of failed career, ruined looks, failing health, etc. She needn't worry in this case because the American public is now aiting for the opposite result and are earnestly hoping that Jolie will drop her Mattell Ken Doll, and go back to the half schizophrenic potential serial killer that they fell in lover with that (Shame that no one ever explained that to Jolie).

Anyway this brings us back to the living Legend Elizabeth Taylor. After ditching Eddie and irking the American Movie Public her life started to go down hill. I don't know whether that was coincidence or the will of the movie gods, but her life started to get screwed up. She started playing tramps in films. She started to gain weight and lose her special appeal. She also rebounded off of Richard Burton and to an American politician which proved to be the worst marriage of her life. In fact she never totally took off the weight she gained during that unhappy union.

That left Liz in her post motion picture carer. Since she had some charisma she got by. She appeared in Dynasty, she designed a few perfumes, she may ever have done a few cartoon voice overs (she was considered for a voice in the Flintstones with John Goodman). You might say that Taylor's career was heading in a direction that so many and event he most famous careers go - straight in to the crapper!

Taylor has one way of getting into the media again and aging. She just kept marrying and divorcing, This was once again either a case of Taylor's flagrant disreguard of the unwritten rules of Hollywood - or that her twat was too hot to stop. So she went on her well know post movie star career as a serial marrier. IN fact the roster of Lizzie's conquest is listed below and are as follows:

Marriages

Taylor has been married eight times to seven husbands:

• Conrad "Nicky" Hilton (6 May 1950 – 29 January 1951) (divorced)
• Michael Wilding (21 February 1952 – 26 January 1957) (divorced)
• Michael Todd (2 February 1957 – 22 March 1958) (widowed)
• Eddie Fisher (12 May 1959 – 6 March 1964) (divorced)
• Richard Burton (15 March 1964 – 26 June 1974) (divorced)
• Richard Burton (10 October 1975 – 29 July 1976) (divorced)
• Note: between 1975 and 1976, Taylor was the "companion" to the Iranian ambassador to Washington, Ardeshir Zahedi. They were dubbed "the hottest couple", and both divorced their significant others during their relationship. Taylor even traveled with him to Tehran for a time. Shah Reza Pahlavi convinced Zahedi to end his relationship with Taylor.
• John Warner (4 December 1976 – 7 November 1982) (divorced)
• Larry Fortensky (6 October 1991 – 31 October 1996) (divorced)

You should notice two things right away: 1.marrying Conrad Nickey Hilton gives her a Paris Hilton connection; 2, she's been married 8 times over the past 45 years! That's an enormous amount of emotional baggage to carry around with you! Now where you've got that much karma following in your track and waiting for an inconvenient moment to pounce, then it's only a matter of time before something very inconvenient lands on you.

In this case inconvenient comes in the form of Larry Fortensky. Now if you'll recall Liz meet Larry when they were both banged up in the Betty Ford Center - America being what it is the Betty Ford Clinic draws a real cross section of America society from washed up teen pop singers to laid of steel workers. Drugs are a great equalizer. Anyway Lizzie & Larry hit it off and next thing you know and as quick as a wink, the former Hollywood sex goddess is hitched up with a recovering alcoholic unemployed bricklayer. Just call him the original Kevin Federline.

They seemed to get along for a while. Larry doted on Liz constantly & following her around with shawls that he could suddenly toss them over her if a paparazzi was spotted lurking int he bushes. This was supposed to present the image of Larry as a caring husband, rather than what everyone thought that he was. What they thought he was is what you would think of the 40 year old man who goes after a 70+ woman with millions of dollars. Apart from dubious media stunts the pair actually seemed to get along and Larry seemed to know his place.

Now this kind of celebrity hook ups almost never ever last unless you're James Garner or something. So naturally the Larry & Lizzie arrangement started growing apart. They divorced and Larry got a very a generous settlement (ever get the impression that Liz doesn't kid herself?), They went their separate ways, Larry to what ever nice blue collar home that struck his fancy, and Liz to other male companions who could give her what she needed in her declining years.

Now the thing abut these amicable split ups is that they're like dormant volcanoes waiting to erupt with destructive fury at any moment and without warning. That's what happened to Liz later over that last man she ever married - Larry Fortensky. Seem that Lucky Larry ran into some fiduciary problems.

Now these fiduciary problems of the third degree.Mainly Larry is in default on some major loans and now is in danger of losing his home. So he's sent out the SOS to his sugar mommy to cut him a check and keep a roof over his head, Hitting up the ex to keep you in your new home might sound like a helluva nerve - especially when too was already taken care of - except that Liz has steeped in and done this kind of thing before.

In fact Liz has repeatedly bailed Larry out of one financial jam after another. One fo the most serious was after Larry seriously injured himself falling down the stairs drunk, and was never able to do an honest days work after! Liz paid up his mortgage and then chipped in which some living money.

Once again Larry is in arrears. Since that his house has been foreclosed on. Unless he gets some immediate help, he's gonna be out on the street. Once again he's turned to old reliable except hat this time there's a twist. Liz is in very frail health. By frail think Mr. Burns from the Simpsons before his regular morning defibrillation. So Lizzie isn't actually non compete memphis to go writing out checks to some dead beat she used to screw 20 years ago when she was emotional vulnerable. So this looks like Larry might have to make it on his own. Give him the benefit of the doubt though, if he can hook up with Taylor at Betty Ford, then he jut might have what it takes to jump start his career with a spot on Celebrity Rehab, & if not that then Dancing With The Stars!

Jesse James threatens to write book - anti climax expected!

running out of tiger blood!

After taking a few days off to mourn Charlie Sheen's gradual return to sanity - God that man came up with some interesting shit! - I'm back to dish, though with much less inspiring shit to work with. For those of you afraid that it has something to do with Justin Bieber's hair, or Kim Kardashian revealing she has had silicone injections but won't say where, don't worry. I can offer livelier fare, but it ain't much liver.

who's who

Today's offering involves a gal more sympathetic than Jennifer Aniston. IN fact she's only slightly less sympathetic than Rihanna! This chick would be none other than America's Sweetheart - well one of 'em anyway. The whole America's Sweetheart deal is kind of like the Heavy Weight Boxing Championship: there's about a half dozen belts on the go and the public has lost interest. She's also one of the reining Queens of Romcoms; I guess that's kind of like the Heavyweight Sweetheart deal. Anyway it's not Katherine Heigl, but poor humiliated Sandy Bullock.

if you can't find fresh freaks then send in the clowns

If you'll recall about a little over a year ago Sandy was on top of the world. She had a blockbuster film career, a skeezy tattooed husband with a pick up truck for the kind of 'real people' credibility Angelina Jolie hasn't had since she stopped wearing billy Bob Thornton's blood around her neck, real affection from the movie going public, oh yeah and she had that Oscar in her hot little hand too. It looked like everything was coming up Sandy, until the shit hit the fan.

shitbomb

The shit hit the fan in the form of her husband's sleazy mistress Michelle Magee. Magee was nicknamed Bombshell - at least that was her working name, and she was the sort of greasy bitch that Tiger Woods wouldn't have touched with a shitty stick wrapped in an asbestos condom. Not unless he was on his usual Ambien & Viagra cocktail anyway. What Bombshell worked at was stripping and posing for fetish websites. By fetish think vomit and dog shit. It's all about what don't wash out! So the chick had a serious career she was working on, with white power and home wrecking as a sideline. All work and no play will leave people asking "why is there stale vomit in your hair?"

Vanilla Gorilla makes a monkey out of Bullock!

The shit couldn't have hit the fan at a worse time either, since as I mentioned people had just watched Sandy pick up her shiny chrome celebrity validation award in a highly televised ceremony. Sandy had been waiting for this moment for a very long time - ever since she wanted to be an actress when she grew up - so she made a big deal out of it. Unfortunately she made a big deal out of the Vanilla Gorilla too. She made some public comments about how real he was, how he'd made her more real, and how he was charming the pants off of Morgan Freeman (although hopefully not with some cooked up scheme that involved getting him to bend over!). In short she said he'd made a Hollywood actress a better person - which is no small feat. Then it got too real.

who's Ricky Gervias?

Hot on the heels of this all these scuzzy photos of Bombshell licking dog vomit up in her under wear while baring her swastika tattoos to the world came up. Apart from maybe Mel Gibson no one was impressed. It made Sandy look lower than all those mentioned at the intro of the last Golden Globes (almost forgot about that since Charlie Sheen's wild over the top media blow out didn't you?). The difference was that this shit actually stuck, and for days and days after. What was sticking was a question: If Jesse was really a bad piece of shit, like we're finding out; and he was really the most important person in Sandy's life, like she said; then how could she not know about any of this nazi shit? Something smelled rotten, and it wasn't just the leftovers from some fetish sex orgy; though that might have been part of it.

there's more to outrage than pretty pretty dresses

Well then if this question has been plaguing your mind, then you're as socially aware and conscious as Natalie Portman on a pre Oscar clothing spree. So you might also be interested to know that Vanilla Gorilla has a new book coming out. Normally no one would dignify that book with the purchase price. They'd simply wait for the National Enquirer to give them the gist of it, or borrow it from the public library. However this time there's a very good reason to put our high minded outrage aside and indulge our morbid curiosity. The reason is that Jesse addresses the Sandy question.

relationshit

According to Jesse in his new book Sandy probably had no idea about his fringe interests in nazism and fetish sex. For one thing she was never really that interested in any part of his life. That included their time in bed together. Jesse claims that bed with Sandy involved books, newspapers, scripts - the kind of shit grease monkeys with Hitler tattoos hate, and as much as 6 dogs. The dogs didn't even figure in the way he liked either - they were lying affectionately at the foot of the bed, instead of licking fresh maggots out of her vagina! Now Jesse hasn't come right out and said that she drove him into the arms of sex offenders because she was too damned boring in bed. Gentleman Jesse just left that to be inferred. However some are saying that he has come right straight out and implied that the ex is a lesbian or something, allegedly! Here's some excerpts of what he did say.

“Jesse would always say that Sandra went to bed with a book or script and five or six of their dogs, leaving little room for him in bed and no chance to have sex,” the source said.

“He also told friend that he and Sandra had zero physical attraction, and they hadn’t had sex for months before they split. Sandra is on edge because Jesse could justify his cheating by creating the false impression that she withheld sex from him or is a lesbian.”

Publishing insiders say that Jesse’s book royalties are tied to how much he reveals about Sandra. She’s agonizing over the possibility that Jesse will spill heartbreaking details of her failure to conceive, and even accuse her of condoning his Nazi fascination.

“Jesse owns a large collection of Nazi memorabilia, including a surfboard with a life-size Hitler doing the Nazi salute that he kept in his office at the garage. He also had swastikas, helmets and Nazi uniforms at the home he shared with Sandra. While Sandra wasn’t a fan of his Nazi stuff, did she turn a blind eye to it? If Jesse tells the world she was OK with his collection, that could come back to haunt her, especially since her late mother was German.”

put the titillate back in tittle tattle!

So that should clear everything up, unless it makes everything a lot more confusing. That's the problem with tell alls, especially when they tell you nothing. I say if you're gonna tittle tattle than have the guts and basic honesty to rat out the bastards like a mafia fink trying to get into the witness protection program! That means all bets off, no holds barred, and the Marquis of Queensbury rule book gets tossed right out the window! If not, then don't waste everyone's time by getting their hopes up and then pussy footing around 'cause your lawyer told you to be careful and Bullock's business a manger said "don't worry something can be worked out!" You're just taking precious work away from Andrew Morton. At least Jesse's people are still making some noises about a possible Jesse James 'alleged' sex tape. Though it should be said that the alleged tape doesn't involve Sandra Bullock, but Miss Tila Tequila and a German Sheppard named Shitler! That ought fill some attention in the post Charlie Sheen celebrity outrage vacuum!

Big Time Weird

Celebrity Götterdämmerung: Twilight of the little glitter gods

hate literature, links, soft porn, and other filth!

2010 continued the redefinition of celebrity. Once stars were regarded as gods walking amongst us. The Internet seems to have helped blow their covers. As more and more info got out, people began to discover what their favourite stars were really like. That made image management impossible. People knew that Tom Cruise was into Scientology, and that he had some strange relationships with the women in his life; they also learned that Mel Gibson was an anti Semite with some odd relationships of his own. The result was that the heroes became zeroes and and celebrity was redefined interns of buffoonery. Fame became a circus and the celebrities were the clowns.

Biggest Little Moments of 2010

Some embraced that role. Paris Hilton certainly made it as a celebrity 2.0. With her tongue in her cheek it was obvious that she never intended anyone to take her seriously. Sarah Palin wasn't interested in being taken seriously either. She seemed content if people bought her books, watched her series, voted for her daughter on Dancing With The Stars, and possibly keep her in mind as a future presidential candidate. So she was free to play the clown all the way to the bank. If her New York Times best seller record is any indication she might not need to be taken too seriously to get in. Politics isn't immune to celebrity 2.0.

If Sarah Palin didn't prove that single handedly then one of the big scandals of days past surely did. It involved a slick little operator who was a pretty good lawyer. He was also an attractive a personable fellow with bog time aspirations! The man was John Edwards. Though he looked full of promise - he was to deliver more than anyone bargained for.

John Boy loses innocence, runs for President

John Boy Edwards ran for the Democratic Party's presidential nom against Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama. So he was a long shot from the word go. With his good looks and charm he wasn't much of a long shot and some folk really thought that the little prick had a chance. Plus he had his wife Elizabeth Edwards to back him to the hilt. That ran into a snag when Elizabeth developed terminal cancer. While pundits speculated whether or not Edwards might drop out of the race to share Elizabeth's last days with her, John Boy announced that he was still in it to win it. Winning the presidency was important to Elizabeth, Edwards informed the public, so he was gonna follow through "win one for the Gipper" style. He left the American Public to infer that not voting him in would destroy a dying woman's last wish.

The man who would be king and his palace balls worker

Sure enough more started emerging about John Boy. Like he had a flaky mistress called Rielle Hunter. Hunter looked like a younger version of Camilla Parker Bowles, and was a failed actress turned yoga instructor! When she met John Boy she determined to win him over with flattery and by playing to his ambition. She told him that he had a hot aura in person that didn't show up on TV. She added that since she worked in the media she could help him with that. That night was the first time they made love. Only goes to show that she had his number! Some people are just standing around waiting to be lead astray.

Schiavo scenarios

As time went on Rielle groomed John Boy to be president by giving him astrological and spiritual guidance, as she positioned herself to be another Nancy Reagan. They also made love in Elizabeth's bed, talked shamelessly about how great it would be once she kicked off - so they could finally live it the way it was supposed to be, and conceived a love child. If John Boy wasn't as bad as those mother's who kill their own children so that they can go out and party (Susan Smith & Casey Anthony) then it was only because he was a low key psychopath. In spirit he was just as eager for his wife to die, but just wouldn't get around to pulling the trigger. Still I wouldn't trust him in a Terri Schiavo 'do not resuscitate' scenario!

"I'd like to take responsibility for my mistakes because that's what people do when there's no other way to get off the hook."

Well once his phony little cover got blow so did his presidential aspirations. He's so radioactive right now that he wouldn't make it on reality TV! Some others profited from his mistakes though. Like the National Enquirer. Making up for dropping the ball on the Tiger Woods' story (they knew years ago but instead of publishing it bargained to get Tiger on the cover of an associated mag) they broke the Edwards' Affair with a vengeance. They got a Pulitzer Prize nomination for that too. Now in fairness it should be said that they nominated themselves, but he committee did accept the nomination. So it's official (as official as Megan Gale as Wonder Woman, anyway.).

shitty politti

Some one else made out like a bandit too. That would be John Edwards' right hand man. This guy had been with him through the early years of teen aged ambition, and right through to his fall from grace. As he tells it he knew right off that John Boy was going places and he intended to ride along on his coat tales. In an ABC interview he talks candidly about Edwards being his ticket to the big time, as his Shania Twain lookalike wife sits supportively at his side. He also says that he knows exactly where every one of the bodies are buried. Now that John Boy ain't in no position to be helpful anymore there's no more reason to keep mum. In fact spilling the beans could even have it's rewards (like how much did he get paid for the interview and when is the inevitable book coming out?).

Nostalgia for what never was - once and future Kennedys

In the following video the man himself speaks with ABC news about how bad Edwards really was. You may find yourself shaking your head repeatedly during the video. Just remember that though the guy was in a position to know more than anyone about all this sleazy monkey business (Referencing Gary Hart! The dems have gotta stop taking these TV dinner versions of JFK seriously. Camelot is gone - get over it. Trying to recapture the magic has only lead to mischief!) he probably has an angle. So you might have to ask yourself how credible he really is. One thing about politics is that it really brings 'em out of the wood work! Think of this as more food for thought than credible edibles.





Oh yeah and finally a special Wondertrash New Years to Lindsay Lohan up in the Betty Ford Clinic. It really sucks to have to spend the year's No 1 party day locked up in a semi institutional setting. Especially when you're Hollywood's No 1 party girl! So keep your chin up kid. Remember that there's worse off than you, like the poor buggers who have nothing better to do on NYE than read Wondertrash (or lower yet, write it!). That also raises the question of what we can expect from celebrities in the year to come. I'm playing the percentages and predicting more of the same.

Jesse James and Kat Von D Split?

Remember when Jesse James went with Kat Von D? That was after he humiliated his ex wife - America's Sweetheart and Oscar Winner Sandra Bullock. Jesse cheated on Sandy with a bevy of tattooed white power sex fetish chicks. Naturally people were disgusted and wanted Bullock to dump James ass, and the rest of him, asap. They didn't have to wait long to get their wish.

So when Kat Von D announced her hook up with rebounding James people were ambivalent. ON the one hand they thought that the gruesome twosome were a perfect match. KVD is heavily tattooed. She has also had a brush with white power. During her reality TV days she sent her Jewish boss a hate filled racially charged e mail, which she later denied sending, and even later admitted to bu claimed that she didn't mean it. The back story on that is KVD was working for a guy called Ami James on Miami Ink. James is off the Jewish persuasion - although it's not clear who persuaded him. He and Kat had a falling out, so Kat left to do her own think. however she left James a little something to remember her by:



That's Kat - thinking with her heart instead of using her head. Anyway the combination of racism and body art, not to mention the general sleaze factor, seemed to make her the Jesse James dream girl. They did seem to have so much in common what with being fringe culture border line personality types.

On the other hand they didn't think that it was appropriate for James to be bouncing back into the arms of love, or whatever, so soon. He seemed to have skipped the whole penance period. It's not that anyone considered Kat Von D to be any great prize, except for those who never out grew their heavy metal stage. It's just that people objected to JJ being happy so soon after making everyone else so uncomfortable and Sandy Bullock so unhappy. After all he basically ruined her Oscar night!

Well never fear. Things seemed to have worked out - if not for the best then at least 'worked out". KVD seems to have moved on from JJ. She's recently been spotted out and about with other fringe types with borderline personalities (Not Mel Gibson - recent bad experiences have left him gun shy). That doesn't mean that she and JJ are dunzo. Kat gets around and there's plenty to go around. However it doesn't look good for the love birds. Now that the publicity factor has worn off there's not a lot that JJ can do for KVD. He's a failed reality TV star and presently fading too fast to even be worthwhile tabloid fodder. So KVD has every reason to move on. If it can happen to Dave & Courtney it can happen to anyone (Arquette might have been more interesting if he'd cheated with tattooed neo nazi porn stars then revealing that Cox just got tired of being his mom - the mom fetish might have been fun in Mrs. Robinson with Anne Bancroft and Dustin Hoffman, but in real life it's a creepy drag!). Anyone except Demi & AShton - they're in love and they don't care who knows it!



So that should provide closure for almost everyone. Everyone except those anticipating an eventually JJ - KVD reality TV show, and poor Sandra Bullock. However even she might be getting a second shot at love. If the rumours are true Sandy is considering hooking up with the one person with whom she shares so much in common: public image, career trajectory, and unfortunate love life - none other than Jennifer Aniston! Naw, that last part ain't true - but imagine if it were!

Gordon Ramsey - Hot Potato

"Joe was a brilliant chef, and our thoughts go out to his family, friends and staff"

Now everyone who's watched high intensity TV chef Gordon Ramsey knows he brings the heat into the kitchen. Some people are now saying that the loud mouthed celebrity chef is too hot too handle. The somebody is his fellow Hot Potato TV judge Eric Ripert. Ripert lashed out at Ramsey via social networking site Twitter following the death by suicide of their colleague Joseph Cerniglia.

"Your business is about to f--king swim down the Hudson"

Cerniglia has his problems. His restaurant was 80 000 in debt. To make matters even worse he'd recently gotten busted for cocaine. The bust took place in his restaurant. Now that leads to a whole other bag of trouble. In addition to jail time, he could've wound up losing the business, depending on whether or not prosecutors felt like making a federal case out of it. So Cerniglia decided to beat them to the punch by jumping the gun. He jumped off of a bridge into the Hudson River.

Though Cerniglia had plenty of personal problems not everyone is willing to let Ramsay off of the hook. Ramsay's co judge on his latest reality TV chef show, Eric Ripert, took to Twitter to give Gordo a blast. Said Ripert via the social networking site:

"Nothing personal against Gordon Ramsay but he is a poor inspiration for
professional chefs in his shows," Ripert tweeted. "I have my bad days to but
always try to improve. TV or not - its no excuse! Ultimately I believe in the
goodness of Gordon but he is very wrong."

Ramsay can be hard to take. On one episode he made reference to Cerniglia's personal troubles by telling him that his business was about to swim down the Hudson. Nor is this the 1st Ramsay chef to cash in their chips. In 2007 a Hell's Kitchen chef, Rachel Brown, shot herself in her Dallas home. There's another Ramsay connection - the chef's brother is a long term heroin addict. For the uninitiated, heroin is a major pain receiver. So some are speculating that Ramsay is a hard man to deal with. At the very least he's probably not the guy to call if you're standing on the George Washington Bridge thinking about jumping and looking for some one to hand you a life line.

Success stories & shit news

This kind of casual, cool realism has given the new British films easy ascendancy. Room at the
Top features the new cool realism. Not only is it not a success story, it is as much an
announcement of the end of the Cinderella package as Marilyn Monroe was the end of the star
system. Room at the Top is the story of how the higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his
backside. The moral is that success is not only wicked but also the formula for misery. It is very
hard for a hot medium like film to accept the cool message of TV. But the Peter Sellers movies I'm
All Right, Jack and Only Two Can Play are perfectly in tune with the new temper created by the
cool TV image. Such is also the meaning of the ambiguous success of Lolita. As a novel, its
acceptance announced the antiheroic approach to romance. The film industry had long beaten out
a royal road to romance in keeping with the crescendo of the success story. Lolita announced that
the royal road was only a cowtrack, after all, and as for success, it shouldn't happen to a dog.

~Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media

Paris Hilton Busted for Cocaine

more hookery than usual

Seems like Paris Hilton can't stay out of trouble for very long. Just last night she was put cruising on the Las Vegas Strip (and outside outside the Wynn Hotel) when she got pulled over by the cops. Las Vegas' finest observed what they thought was marijuana smoke coming out of the window of Hilton's black Escalande. Now since Hilton probably wasn't participating in a vote by the College of Cardinals - even online - the fuzz felt that they had could grounds to further investigate.

Further investigation revealed that Paris had cocaine on her. Not much cocaine, but just enough for her to be charged with a count of felony possession (class e). In case you're not a regular Law & Order viewer a felony is more serious than a misdemeanor. In fact it's a big league criminal charge! That lead to Paris and her new BFF Cy Waits to get booked into Clarke Country Jail.

Though the charges were serious, Paris skated only a few short hours later, on bail (thanks to lawyer David Chesnoff). She was busted at approximately 11:30 PM. By about 3;30 Am she was back home again and on Twitter. Now she made no Twitter mention of her recent misfortune. She just popped online long enough to tell everyone that she was home, getting ready for bed, and watching Family Guy. Oh yeah, and "xoxox, everyone" from Paris.

As for poor Cy, well he wasn't so fortunate. Even though he's the very man who helped Paris thwart a home invasion by a gun wielding intruder earlier in the week - he didn't get sprung along with Paris. Cy had to wallow in prison under a charge of driving while intoxicated. So whether or not crime pays, we can say that Paris is a poor person to stand next to when lightening strikes. Though she has an excellent raincoat, she doesn't provide much coverage to anyone else.

"the-drugs-weren't-mine" defense

BTW Paris already has a fantastic alibi that might even make an unlikely legal defense. The coke was found in her purse, and she claims that the purse isn't hers. This is the same defense she used earlier this year in South Africa, where she got busted for pot possession. Sources say the fact that she got released so quickly on bail is an indication of how seriously the prosecution is taking the case. The fact that her boyfriend de jour Cy Waits got held may indicate that he's being set up as fall guy - but who knows. The drugs were found in her purse, and she was the only woman in the car at the time of the bust. Paris however insists that she had just come from a night club where oodles of women, and their purses, were present. So maybe she grabbed up the wrong purse because she was too stoned to notice. Anyone would buy that if they were on a jury, right? Perhaps, if jury duty lowers your IQ by 15 points!

Also the above mugshot of Paris shows her looking as good as ever. Hopefully she will whether this storm as she has her others. The pressures of fame can take a lot out of you. Take Sarah Palin for instance. She's been America's heart throb ever since John McCain discovered her as a running mate via google search (Since then Sarah has moved up in the world, and onto Twitter! She always was an ambitious girl with an eye to her future!). Though she was an attractive lady at the time, her brush with fame has left her looking the worse for wear. Just take a look at this most recent Sarah Palin picture!

Of course she got herself prettied up for her big Tea Party Rally. On a totally unrelated note - for our Sunday Wondertrash matinee: here's an example of how movies can make anything look good, especially evil - with Triumph of the Will.

Michael Douglas has throat cancer - Julia Roberts goes holy cow

When it rains it pours. First Michael Douglas' oldest son Cameron is arrested for drug trafficking, now the actor himself is diagnosed with throat cancer.



In other, less tragic, news Julia Roberts decision to convert to Hinduism has created turmoil at home. Roberts made the jump from Christianity to Hinduism while filming Eat Pray Love in India. She was so taken with the teachings on meditation and reincarnation that she even had her children renamed after Hindu gods and goddesses, and had the production blessed by a swami (hopefully not the same guy who predicted that Brad Pitt would dump Angelina Jolie to go back to Jennifer Aniston several years ago).

The children is where the trouble comes in. Julia's husband Danny Moder is Catholic, and is outraged that Roberts would take her children out of the fold and into some heathen religion. As a matter of fact the couple have had so many blow ups over it that sources are referring to it as a domestic holy war. Danny's dad and Julia's Mom aren't thrilled about Julia's new religious convictions either, not to mention the possible effects of full tilt veganism on her children's development. Young Americans don't grow up to be strong healthy linebackers on a diet of tofu & lentils!

Not that the concerns of family and friends would deter Julia - when she wants something she goes for it (That's how she got Danny). So sorting this mess out sounds like a job for Oprah Winfrey (who'd better step in before Bill O Reilly accuses Roberts of undermining Christianity).

Speaking of making an uproar, the trailer for Joaquin Phoenix new flick I'm Still Here is out, and here it is!

The Odd Couple

catch as catch can

If you're disgraced former celebrity looking out for a hook up you've got limited options. However if you're Jesse James some one will come along. For one thing Jesse has well defined tastes. Fortunately, or unfortunately, there are plenty of available women. Now Jesse has a thing for tattooed white power stripper types. Many of the young women recently featured in scandal fall into that category. Tiger Woods alone has about a dozen cast offs any one of whom could be a good match for JJ.

Jesse has managed to find someone. The former Mr. Bullock was seen out and about with none other than Kat von D. Now if you'll recall Ms. von D has her fair share of tattoos. Not only that but she is rumored to have a casual interest in white supremacy. With so many people out there who wouldn't be caught dead with either of them. So that made them a natural pair up.

According to People the pair were seen chowing down at Palms Casino Resort's N9NE. They did more than eat too. The pair worked their way up to holding hands and eventually left together in a Black Mercedes. Now we can only imagine what happened after that, but it's safe to assume that some sort of reality TV scheme was in the works.

BTW the picture say it all: she's grinning like a soulless whore and he looks like he got hit by lightening. Remember - get rich & famous and that could be you, too.

When Enough is Enough

Fallen Idol

American Idol Fantasia has been busy recently. She wrecked a marriage, got herself into a sex video (the surest path to celebrity according to celeb spawn Dakota, or Montana, Fishburn). Now Fantasia figured that she didn't need that kind of PR and so she took and overdose. Original speculation was that the pressure of home wrecking and sex tapes got to her and she was looking for the quick way out. Now it turns out that she only took an overdose of Aspirin and Sleep Aid. So she ain't exactly in Lohan territory. Now that has everyone asking whether the OD was a sympathy ploy, or just an attempt at some extreme relaxation that went a bit too far. Here's the official word on the along with some other none news (Well except for the part about Mark David Chapman - then again no one expects him to get paroled anyway!).



Paris Hilton could've told the girl that celebrity sex tapes, like death, might be an excellent career move but on a personal level it just doesn't get you anywhere.

emergency belligerence

Some one who has become an overnight celebrity would be Jetblue attendant Steven Slater. slater flipped out when he got hit in the head by a uncooperative elderly passenger. After asking the lady nicely to behave, and then being told to "fuck off", Slater went on a profanity laced intercom tirade. After calling the passenger out, he the made good his escape through the jet's emergency exit. That was after grabbing a few brews on the way out. I'm sure that he needed to settle his nerves.

When the police caught up with him there was to be even more embarrassment. He was apparently caught in the act with his partner when police invaded his home. Plus the story went viral. Youtube may have gotten the ball rolling but the rogue flight attendant is being hailed as a hero by everyone who wishes that they had the guts, or where even able, to say "Enough!" So that leaves the story where it is presently: with Slater out of work and talking to lawyers. So you don't need to be Kreskin to figure out that the lawsuit is coming next.




So Mr. Slater has become the worst kind of celebrity - an unemployed hero. It only goes to show that fame just ain't worth it. It's even worse than a life of crime, since if crime pays, then fame costs. Besides their ain't no future in the hero racket. Pay is lousy, benefits suck, and you can't even count on wearing really eye catching fetish wear anymore! So unless you're Wonder Woman, or have a really rockin' sex tape, do yourself and the rest of the world a break - opt for the quiet life. Whatever you do, don't get your McNuggets in a twist!

Celebrity Fuckery

It's been a busy time for celebs. For one thing Chelsea Clinton has gotten , or is getting, married or something. That's the event President Barack Obama wasn't invited to - according to the President on the View.





Now it never hurts to suck up to the boss, even if you're a Hilary Clinton caliber bitch. Besides it couldn't hurt to have another Nobel Prize winner at the festivities - assuming that disgraced environmentalist Al Gore was invited. Maybe the Prez' RSVP got lost in the mail or something. Anyhow the main thing is that l'il Chelsea has the guts to go through with this, and not let her parents loveless arrangement, or her father's sleazy shenanigans (I hear that Big Bill is desperate for an introduction to Oksana Grigorieva. He might have heard that she's a manipulative gold digging whore, but when Bill hears blow job everything else gets blocked out!) sour her on the institution of marriage. You have to admire that kind of crazy optimism!

The full Monty

Speaking of crazy sex shenanigans, that brings us to CSI star Lawrence Fishburne. Now it's not Larry that's gotten into sex related scandal, though working along side the latex clad Carrie Ann Moss in 3 Matrix films would pout a strain on any man. His daughter Montana has decided to break into show business by way of pornography. Now that might sound like the back door into the business, and in more ways than one, but young Montana (Larry was originally gonna call the girl Karma Amethyst Fishburne but wasn't famous enough for an outlandish celebrity offspring name at the time.) claims she knows what she's doing. Monty says that she's been a close observer of Kim Kardashian and couldn't help noticing that KK's sex tape was a career breakthrough! Look for Monty's sex video to be released this very month!

Celebrity Zombies & Hollywood Undead

From the ridiculous to the obscene: former supermodel and current rehabbing bitch Janice Dickinson claims that she loves her body. Now that sounds like a tall tale (or a creepy adult film) since most people would be hard pressed to find anything lovable about Dickinson's weather beaten, booze pickled, plasticized body these days. In fact it would be hard to find much even vaguely human about it.

Dickinson says, however, that she's put in too much work and invested too much money to be indifferent to it. She's had enough botox injected into her to blight proof crops in the entire 3 world. Plus she's had a lot of drastic plastic surgery. Her mouth keeps varying in size and shape each time she's photographed. In fact when you look at her photographs together they come off a little like one of those police Identikits where the features can be randomly changed.

However Dix attachment to her bod goes deeper then time and money wasted. She confesses that there's an obsessive compulsive element to it to. For instance she's going beyond plastic surgery and into flaky New Age techniques like yoga and meditation. Says Ms Dickie: 'I have to make sure I exercise and that the ingredients that go into my body are completely organic.
'I relax, meditate and do 80 minutes of yoga every day. I hike and make sure everything I eat is organic. I eat steamed fish, chicken and turkey, plus salads, carrot juice and supplements.'

Besides, Dickie has a goal in mind. As to what possesses her to go through the grim ordeal of age defying, Dickie replies: "I'm going to be the best looking corpse on the planet!' If that's the plan then she can relax. Some of us think that she already is. Well she's got the corpse thing down anyway!

Mel Gibson more mama drama

Mel in the Family

If they still had those classic boozy celebrity roasts rife with crude humour and clumsy sarcasm, like the kind Dean Martin used to specialize in back in the early 70's; then Mel Gibson would've been the superstar most likely to have been roasted, up to the past few years. He was a superstar of almost Rat Pack proportions. Nowadays he's the celebrity most likely to get slow roasted over hot coals. Some of that has to do with his ex girlfriend/baby momma Oksana Grigorieva; and a lot of it has to do with the awful stuff Mel was caught saying on tapes that Grigorieva illegally made.

Hey Mel, Jesse James would like to thank you for getting the heat off of him!

Back in the days when Mel was still enjoying his booze fueled fling with the Plastic Russian, they'd fight all the time. Stuff that would make Britney & KFed look like Sunday school kids. Oksana often like to record these fiery exchanges; perhaps for sentimental value, or maybe it has some thing to do with her being Russian (you know how they were for secret recordings, especially back in the old days). Anyway a lot of stuff got said and recorded, usually while Mel was drunk of his head. Stuff like Oksana's "a pig in heat who should be raped by a pack of niggers".

stupid like a fox

Naturally the tapes were source of concern for Mel (He was concerned that the tapes existed, not that he'd actually said the stuff - big difference. Mel might make movies about Jesus Christ but he "ain't stupid, if you know what I mean" Savvy men of the world are always more sorry about getting caught than about what they've done.). Similar comments made by Sandra Bernhard about then vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin effectively ended the mediocre comedienne's successful career (without in any way impacting on Sarah Palin's momentum). So Mel went to court and had the tapes banned.



Well some how the tape got leaked to the media sources - radaronline and TMZ. That's how we know about he 'pig in heat' comments. Reps of both outlets listened to the tapes in their entirety. Though they wouldn't publish them, fearing their own legal liability in posting tapes that had been banned by the court; reps of the agencies did vouch did vouch for the content, with plenty of quotable quotes.

TMZ would like to ask if you've stopped beating your girlfriend yet?

The latest bombshell, which might be the one that decisively sinks Mr. Heartthrob's battle ship, was one recently referred to by the usual Internet sources. The bombshell is an admission by Mel, on tape, that he beat Grigorieva. On the tape a teary Grigorieva is asking Mel how he can strike a woman holding a child twice in the face. Mel responds "you fucking deserved it!" It seems to be the 'you fucking deserved it' comment that has many of Mel's former female fans ready to break out the razor blades on iodine on his sorry hide.

Braveheart - from heart breaker to face breaker

It get's worse. This argument was the one during which Oksana supposedly got her front teeth knocked out. Mel's people are denying that any kind of violence ever took place. However there is supposedly a DVD out there some where floating around like a mine at sea, which shows Oksana's bloody and bruised face following a Mel Gibson attack. Mel's people are supposedly desperately trying to verify the existence of the tape, locate it, and then terminate it's potential as a threat. Sounds very CIA doesn't it? Can't really blame him. As Chris Brown could tell him, pictures speak much louder than words!



Oksana Grigoreiva has officially denied through TMZ & Radaronline, that she leaked the tapes. She did say that she began making them after Mel made repeated threats on her life.

Michael Lohan: Dining out on bad parenthood

Mel isn't the only celebrity in a world of grief these days. Lindsay Lohan has finally got sentenced to 90 days in jail, plus 90 days in rehab. While Dina broke down in court, shrieking "Why, why, why?" - because you're daughter is a drug addict who endangers the lives of others every time she gets behind the wheel of a car - and insisting that this was "so not fair to my child" & that's true cause it should've happened years ago; Michael Lohan hit the bars, Hours after the sentencing he was pictured living it up @ The Saddle Ranch. That's reputedly the wildest bar on Sunset Strip! I'm sure that Michael just needs to blow off some grief so that he can keep up his hectic schedule of media conferences & press releases.

irresponsible combinations

As for Lindsay, she's been getting some help keeping it together. Lindsay had some dental work a little while back. It was a wisdom tooth procedure. Now you know how risky these things can be with celebrities. It was a wisdom tooth extraction that allegedly sent Mischa Barton to the psych ward on a 5150 hold order (filed by her mother?). Lindsay is a sensitive soul, so her dentist made sure that she was loaded up on goodies to see her through the trying weeks ahead, namely Dilaudid & amphetamines. Dilaudid is 3x more powerful than morphine!

Dilaudid & amphetamines seem like an irresponsible combination to give to a desperate and unstable woman at the time of her sentencing, but give the dentists a break. Lindsay is too old for a lollipop, unless it's a Fentanyl lolli. Just keep you fingers crossed for Lindsay during the next few weeks, cause Dilaudid + amphetamines is a recipe for an overdose!




BTW a heads up to Olivia Munn fan's. Olivia, occasionally featured int his very blog, has her new book out soon. This after getting a walk on in Ironman 2 (she was the reporter at the Stark Expo), and after being the rumoured choice to play Wasp in the upcoming Batman! She's a busy gal. She also regularly makes the men's mag's 100 hottest chick lists! Keep appraised of Munn's book news through her twitter account Oliviamunn!





Had DC only realized what a rich vein of subtle self parodying humour could be found in Wonder Woman (like Superman back in the golden days when the comic was basically a situation comedy instead of a graphic novel narrative!), then they might have avoid the recent issue 600 major overhaul!

Tori Spelling: "I see dead people!"

Cruise Control Fizzles

There's some bad news for Tom Cruise. His new flick Knight & Day flopped at the box office. Ticket sales for the film's Wednesday release totaled about $4 million, which is not enough to keep him on the A List. By comparison Toy Story 3, which also had a Wednesday opened, grossed $13 million on it's first day. So that leaves Tom with Les Grossman as his motion picture fall back position! Of course he could always retire. With a 25 + movie career and an estimated billion dollar fortune he's got more money than Xenu!

3's company

There's another Hollywood personality that's having trouble making a go of it these days. Back when super producer Aron Spelling was still alive, and daughter Tori was till in his good books, it seemed like anything was possible for her. Then she hooked up with Canadian actor Dean McDermott. They met on the set of Body of Evidence - or some other B movie - while McDermott was still hooked up with his now ex wife Canadian daytime TV personality Mary Jo Eustace.

if you got the money honey

Tori and Dean seemed to hit it off: Dean is a tall good looking fellow and Tori was rich as sin. So there was grounds for mutual attraction. Tori was used to geting what she wanted and wasn't gonna let a little thing like his wife get in the way. So they started getting it on, and poor old Mary Jo had to go. The next thing you know McDermott had divorced his wife and taken on Tori, who was promptly disowned by Big Daddy. Aron had no doubt that McD was attracted to his daughter; he just wasn't sure what McD found attractive about her. Aron assumed that it was probably money and so wrote Tori out.

Spelling weight loss diet - food for thought

That lead Tori on to her current path of insecurity & attention seeking. With only a million to her name, and probably doubting her husband too, Tori started pitching reality TV projects, all involving her new husband. She also started getting plastic surgery and dropping weight until she became nearly unrecognizable. The drastic weight loss even sparked concerns about the actress's health.

Tori goes Tila Tequila!

None of the actress's projects paid off. Now A professional celebrity can't allow that to continue for long. They thrive on our attention. Usually when a celeb started to fade from the lime light they can get desperate, & ridiculous, in their attempts to recapture that attention. Tori is proving to be no exception to the "look at me" rule. In an interview with Out Magazine Spelling has made a startling confession - she's been in touch with the ghost of Farrah Fawcett!

there must be an angel

The visitation from Charlie's Angel came during a session with psychic John Edward (psychic is one of the other ways to make it in Hollywood). Tori, who had been Fawcett's neighbor for years and years, claimed that Farrah contacted her with specific call outs for her troubled son Redmond. Says Tori for the incident: "It was pretty surreal. We were neighbors for years. She basically wanted me to give a message to [Fawcett's son] Redmond and to her family and she was doing these very specific call-outs for things that they would understand."

the medium has a message

Tori insists that she's completely convinced that she was contacted by Farrah. Says Spelling: "If it had been some psychic that I'd walked in off the street for five bucks it would have been different. But it came through John Edward. He's a medium, so he channels people. I've been to regular psychics that turn over cards, tarot cards, and sort of read your future, that type of thing. But, with him, literally people just come to him and say things that they want the person to hear." See what i mean about making it in Hollywood - consumer spirituality a la Oprah Winfrey. Credibility - what you get when you can fake sincerity - is directly related to price too!

uncharted territori & Mis Spelling?

Of course the cynics - like The Huffington Post - have an alternate explanation. Those downers, who are bigger wet blankets than the Amazing Randi, have proposed a rational explanation. They have pointed out that Tori has a new book out called Uncharted TerriTori. Spelling is in the midst of a promotional blitz for the book. So the Farrah visitation might be only a ploy to get attention for the book.

thriller & other postmortem endorsements

I prefer to give Spelling the benefit of the doubt. She's squandered money on psychics before. For instance she's used them to contact Dean's parents - her dead in laws think that she's great BTW, and glad he finally got rid of Eustace. She's also taken the liberty of contacting bon vivant Ryan O Neal to tell him that Farrah's keeping an eye on him. She started by asking Ryan "Please don't think I'm crazy" Those who know Tori probably already think that. Besides uif she really wanted attention for her book she would've said that she'd been contacted by the spirit of Michael Jackson, wouldn't she?

Sandra Bullock taskes back cheating husband

The story that won't die has a new twist: Sandra Bullock is considering taking Jesse James back! Word has it, via the National Enquirer -source of all half truth's - that Bullock is calling off her 250 million dollar divorce. What got into her?

Well the unofficial story is that Bullock is so filled with joy after the adoption of her new baby that she wants to give her husband another chance. The usual unnamed sources say that Sandra is impressed with the way Jesse is seeking help for his sex addiction, and moved by his remorse. He must've been very remorseful since he humiliated Bullock in the worst way imaginable, by cheating on her with tattooed neo Nazi strippers! The news broke at the worst time, within a week of Sandra winning her best actress Oscar. Sandra's acceptance speech praised James for making her more real and a better actress. In other words he made a total fool of her.

The unofficial story, and this is unsubstantiated rumour of the kind that makes the rounds of Internet blogs such as this one, is that James has got dirt on her. The dirt is a sex tape featuring Bullock and something called the Dirty Sanchez. The Dirty Sanchez is a variation of Scat Play - a sex fetish involving human feces. In the case of the Dirty Sanchez a brown 'mustache' is left across the upper lip of one of the participants. So the story goes that James, getting dirty with Bullock, has threatened to release the tape unless she comes to her senses and takes him back. If the tape comes out then all of Sandra's public sympathy could dry up faster than you can say "Tom Cruise on Oprah's Couch!" Of course if she takes back the most evil man in America, then she's gonna lose a lot of that sympathy anyway!

Maybe Sandra is just more forgiving than Tiger Wood's estranged wife Elin Nordgren. Elin is already planning her post Woods life. She's making some long term plans, like enrolling in a psych course at a Florida university. Considering the nature of her course - "human abnormal behavior", she might be planning on taking her wayward spoouse back too!

Hollywood Vampires

Whatever it was that Megan Fox had - verbal diarrhea maybe - Kristen Stewart has caught. Kristen has made some startling responses to routine questions in her Twilight promotional blitz. For instance Krissy likened being photographed to being raped. Now that's an enormous overstatement - being photographed merely steals your soul! Kristew had to make amends publicly over that - saying that it just 'tore my guts out' that people may have been upset by her little faux pas.

pussy galore

Now Kristew has taken a look in her her future and she see's plenty of pussy. No, Krissy ain't gone dike or anything, yet. She just feels that the Hollywood lifestyle, combined with her natural melancholy, have her on the fast route to a more peculiar life. Krissy says that she see's herself, eventually, as a crazy cat lady. According to her she's already more than half way there. For one thing she already has a cat - so not a good sign! She said: "I'm so boring. No I am. I sit in my house with my cat. I'm a crazy cat lady, just give me a couple of years. I have one cat but I'm obsessed with him."

pussy will only get you so far without a career plan

Well it's good that Krissy has made some long terms plans, rather than letting fame go straight to her head. Just in case the cat thing doesn't work out she's also drawn up her Plan B. She wants to expand her repertoire! Says KS to Extra:

"I would love to do something a little lighter. It just has to be good. It's rare for romantic comedies to be solid, solid good. I have a really hard time planning out stuff. I don't do that. I read a script and I do it based on a serious gut instinct, like, 'I feel so compelled to do that.'

"It's a ridiculous thing to play out some fake life and so whatever character I choose to play I feel like if I don't bring them to life then I'm killing someone I love. So I don't know what I want to do, I just want to have that feeling."

I love it when a plan comes together! She's right about the romantic comedies though!

are they or aren't they, or were they ever?

Kristen's recent fit of bitching and complaining about everything and nothing in particular must be the reason that her co star Robert Patterson has grown sick of her. Now it should be said that they have never officially be together. There were rumors. Now most of these rumors came from their respective PR people, plus the Twilight production and promotional team. Perhaps they thought it would be cute if folk thought that the movie's stars were really involved.

Krissy and her big mouth

Now Life & Style is reporting that the couple that were never together have split up. According to L&S, Bobby Patz had to cut Pissy Krissy loose 'cause she's too much of a downer. Probably taking the whole pseudo goth trip too damned seriously! Says L&S, quoting from unnamed sources close to the Hollywood vampire:

“Robert Pattinson has had enough of Kristen Stewart’s negative attitude and finally called it quits, Life & Style has learned.

In fact, Life & Style can reveal that Rob broke things off with Kristen earlier this year. “When Rob was back in the U.K., he was totally fed up with Kristen and over it. He told her, ‘We’re done,’” an insider tells Life & Style. “Rob says she complains about everything and is such a downer. But when he meets up with her they start flirting again and get caught up in all the romance.” But impulsive hookups aren’t enough. Unlike his character, Edward, Rob feels he hasn’t found his soul mate and is keeping his options open.

The magic may have drained from his and Kristen’s relationship, but Rob clearly hasn’t given up on his fairy-tale ending. “There are still a lot of people in the world who desperately want to keep real romance alive,” Rob has said. “It sounds lame, but it’s the truth.”

say it ain't so

Now some sources, like gossip blog Hollywood Heartbreaker - are claiming that there are several reasons why this is probably not true - that they were never seriously together in the first place not being one of those reasons. Which only goes that the hype does work, on amateur media types anyway. Hopefully you won't let the hype get to you. That stuff can have a worse effect than a werewolf bite! Anyway you'll know that the hype machine is in overdrive when Twilight publicists announced that Bobby Patz is gettin' serious with former Harry Potter Hermione what's her name. You know, the girl who went to Harvard.

trainwrecks in training

On that note what are these kids gonna do for a living when Twilight gets played out, one or two sequels down the road? They could can Krissy for getting difficult, and then do a serious of prequels. As a 100 year old adolescent Patterson's character is good for that. They could always announce that Kristew was dropped over her eating disorder. That way it would generate come interest in her career too! Then it's on to the inevitable round of rehab, reality TV, arrests, weight gain, court dates, etc; as everyone asks how Taylor Lautner became Twilight's breakout star. Of course that's no secret since he's kept his mouth shut, and briefly dated Taylor Swift, back when she was still popular. Goes to show that the kid knows how the game is played!

Hollywood in a nutshell

Some other stuff is going on in Hollywood, besides the teen aged dramas of the junior vampires. In a nutshell Harrison Ford is finally married to that Ally MacBeal chick, Gary Coleman ain't getting a funeral because that would be too damned complicated right now, and Megan Fox is engaged again - to that BAG guy who paid for all her plastic surgery - because that would give her something to take her mind off of her faltering career! Here's the news in brief: