Celebrity Götterdämmerung: Twilight of the little glitter gods
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2010 continued the redefinition of celebrity. Once stars were regarded as gods walking amongst us. The Internet seems to have helped blow their covers. As more and more info got out, people began to discover what their favourite stars were really like. That made image management impossible. People knew that Tom Cruise was into Scientology, and that he had some strange relationships with the women in his life; they also learned that Mel Gibson was an anti Semite with some odd relationships of his own. The result was that the heroes became zeroes and and celebrity was redefined interns of buffoonery. Fame became a circus and the celebrities were the clowns.
Biggest Little Moments of 2010
Some embraced that role. Paris Hilton certainly made it as a celebrity 2.0. With her tongue in her cheek it was obvious that she never intended anyone to take her seriously. Sarah Palin wasn't interested in being taken seriously either. She seemed content if people bought her books, watched her series, voted for her daughter on Dancing With The Stars, and possibly keep her in mind as a future presidential candidate. So she was free to play the clown all the way to the bank. If her New York Times best seller record is any indication she might not need to be taken too seriously to get in. Politics isn't immune to celebrity 2.0.
If Sarah Palin didn't prove that single handedly then one of the big scandals of days past surely did. It involved a slick little operator who was a pretty good lawyer. He was also an attractive a personable fellow with bog time aspirations! The man was John Edwards. Though he looked full of promise - he was to deliver more than anyone bargained for.
John Boy loses innocence, runs for President
John Boy Edwards ran for the Democratic Party's presidential nom against Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama. So he was a long shot from the word go. With his good looks and charm he wasn't much of a long shot and some folk really thought that the little prick had a chance. Plus he had his wife Elizabeth Edwards to back him to the hilt. That ran into a snag when Elizabeth developed terminal cancer. While pundits speculated whether or not Edwards might drop out of the race to share Elizabeth's last days with her, John Boy announced that he was still in it to win it. Winning the presidency was important to Elizabeth, Edwards informed the public, so he was gonna follow through "win one for the Gipper" style. He left the American Public to infer that not voting him in would destroy a dying woman's last wish.
The man who would be king and his palace balls worker
Sure enough more started emerging about John Boy. Like he had a flaky mistress called Rielle Hunter. Hunter looked like a younger version of Camilla Parker Bowles, and was a failed actress turned yoga instructor! When she met John Boy she determined to win him over with flattery and by playing to his ambition. She told him that he had a hot aura in person that didn't show up on TV. She added that since she worked in the media she could help him with that. That night was the first time they made love. Only goes to show that she had his number! Some people are just standing around waiting to be lead astray.
Schiavo scenarios
As time went on Rielle groomed John Boy to be president by giving him astrological and spiritual guidance, as she positioned herself to be another Nancy Reagan. They also made love in Elizabeth's bed, talked shamelessly about how great it would be once she kicked off - so they could finally live it the way it was supposed to be, and conceived a love child. If John Boy wasn't as bad as those mother's who kill their own children so that they can go out and party (Susan Smith & Casey Anthony) then it was only because he was a low key psychopath. In spirit he was just as eager for his wife to die, but just wouldn't get around to pulling the trigger. Still I wouldn't trust him in a Terri Schiavo 'do not resuscitate' scenario!
"I'd like to take responsibility for my mistakes because that's what people do when there's no other way to get off the hook."
Well once his phony little cover got blow so did his presidential aspirations. He's so radioactive right now that he wouldn't make it on reality TV! Some others profited from his mistakes though. Like the National Enquirer. Making up for dropping the ball on the Tiger Woods' story (they knew years ago but instead of publishing it bargained to get Tiger on the cover of an associated mag) they broke the Edwards' Affair with a vengeance. They got a Pulitzer Prize nomination for that too. Now in fairness it should be said that they nominated themselves, but he committee did accept the nomination. So it's official (as official as Megan Gale as Wonder Woman, anyway.).
shitty politti
Some one else made out like a bandit too. That would be John Edwards' right hand man. This guy had been with him through the early years of teen aged ambition, and right through to his fall from grace. As he tells it he knew right off that John Boy was going places and he intended to ride along on his coat tales. In an ABC interview he talks candidly about Edwards being his ticket to the big time, as his Shania Twain lookalike wife sits supportively at his side. He also says that he knows exactly where every one of the bodies are buried. Now that John Boy ain't in no position to be helpful anymore there's no more reason to keep mum. In fact spilling the beans could even have it's rewards (like how much did he get paid for the interview and when is the inevitable book coming out?).
Nostalgia for what never was - once and future Kennedys
In the following video the man himself speaks with ABC news about how bad Edwards really was. You may find yourself shaking your head repeatedly during the video. Just remember that though the guy was in a position to know more than anyone about all this sleazy monkey business (Referencing Gary Hart! The dems have gotta stop taking these TV dinner versions of JFK seriously. Camelot is gone - get over it. Trying to recapture the magic has only lead to mischief!) he probably has an angle. So you might have to ask yourself how credible he really is. One thing about politics is that it really brings 'em out of the wood work! Think of this as more food for thought than credible edibles.
Oh yeah and finally a special Wondertrash New Years to Lindsay Lohan up in the Betty Ford Clinic. It really sucks to have to spend the year's No 1 party day locked up in a semi institutional setting. Especially when you're Hollywood's No 1 party girl! So keep your chin up kid. Remember that there's worse off than you, like the poor buggers who have nothing better to do on NYE than read Wondertrash (or lower yet, write it!). That also raises the question of what we can expect from celebrities in the year to come. I'm playing the percentages and predicting more of the same.
