Hello Larry

Liz Taylor was not only one of Hollywood's true movie stars; She got around. She married Eddie Fischer just months before she ran off to do Cleopatra with Richard Burton. Eddie - like poor Nick Lacey with Jessica, had no idea what was what until Richie and Lizzie were exchanged expensive stones and other more personal forget me nots, By the time the show was over Liz decided that she wanted a Greek Hero, even if that mean a Welsh actor playing a Roman. So there was no room for a little Jewish singer in her life.

Now that's fine and well. People expected Taylor to run around like a cat with liniment on her arse, except that in this case the was a twist. Lizzie had stolen Fischer away from Tanny. Now Tammy was the wholesome Mountain Dew Elli May Clampett time who innocence appealed to horny adolescent boys. Innocence was a big part of her appeal. So when Taylor - who was the vamp of the day - moved in for the kill. Spectators viewed it as something a wolf goring Bambie in one of those morbid Disney films,

To put it in modern perspective - it was the same as when Angelina Jolie stole Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston. People decided that she'd gone a little too far - but since she was an oversexed bitch that they couldn't blame her as long as she meant it. So Eddie and Lizzie lived it up for a few mothers and then Lizzie's hot sexy bitch instincts took over.

As mentioned she went off to do Cleopatra with Richard Burton. Burton played Marc Anthony - a proud, intelligent brave; and even more than that - the last of the Greek Heroes. Lizzie as Cleopatra had to seduce Marc -Ricard Anthony, because they're passionate doomed love affair formed the basis of the story. That meant that Richie and Lizzie had to do plenty of scripted sexy time pulls lots of emotionally charged scenes! soon it was bye-bye Tammy.

There's been a lot of talk about who was to blame int his. Tammy was the beloved image of innocent youth, and Liz was the voracious man eating vagina dentata. Since those were the parts that they were supposed to play then no one could really blame Lizzie too much. It didn't go down well and the vox populi (they phrase vox populi is handier than "they" since interlocutors will then get cute and asked you who "they" are. Now one will defy the vox populi.), who decided that she'd get a pass if Lizze was serious. That was the Brad Angelina Jennifer scenario of their day.

Well Lizzie buggered that up by dropping Fischer like a hot potato when she went after Burton. Liz had that Jolie" I do what ever the hell I want because I'm a wild crazy fuck!' attitude. So she may not have been well aware of the seriousness of the situation when she embarked on her affair wit Burton. When she dropped him after a few months to go after Burton - the public turned and never quite forgave her.

That's a paralleled to today's Bragelinsten arrangement to - where the public has decided they'll let jolie get way with this, but they can't expect anymore from them just because she's hers. So her picture shave flopped even though Anstion has a steady A List career. Jolie may be shying away from dropping Pitt because she's afraid of a little of the Hollywood voodoo that hit Lizzie, in the form of failed career, ruined looks, failing health, etc. She needn't worry in this case because the American public is now aiting for the opposite result and are earnestly hoping that Jolie will drop her Mattell Ken Doll, and go back to the half schizophrenic potential serial killer that they fell in lover with that (Shame that no one ever explained that to Jolie).

Anyway this brings us back to the living Legend Elizabeth Taylor. After ditching Eddie and irking the American Movie Public her life started to go down hill. I don't know whether that was coincidence or the will of the movie gods, but her life started to get screwed up. She started playing tramps in films. She started to gain weight and lose her special appeal. She also rebounded off of Richard Burton and to an American politician which proved to be the worst marriage of her life. In fact she never totally took off the weight she gained during that unhappy union.

That left Liz in her post motion picture carer. Since she had some charisma she got by. She appeared in Dynasty, she designed a few perfumes, she may ever have done a few cartoon voice overs (she was considered for a voice in the Flintstones with John Goodman). You might say that Taylor's career was heading in a direction that so many and event he most famous careers go - straight in to the crapper!

Taylor has one way of getting into the media again and aging. She just kept marrying and divorcing, This was once again either a case of Taylor's flagrant disreguard of the unwritten rules of Hollywood - or that her twat was too hot to stop. So she went on her well know post movie star career as a serial marrier. IN fact the roster of Lizzie's conquest is listed below and are as follows:

Marriages

Taylor has been married eight times to seven husbands:

• Conrad "Nicky" Hilton (6 May 1950 – 29 January 1951) (divorced)
• Michael Wilding (21 February 1952 – 26 January 1957) (divorced)
• Michael Todd (2 February 1957 – 22 March 1958) (widowed)
• Eddie Fisher (12 May 1959 – 6 March 1964) (divorced)
• Richard Burton (15 March 1964 – 26 June 1974) (divorced)
• Richard Burton (10 October 1975 – 29 July 1976) (divorced)
• Note: between 1975 and 1976, Taylor was the "companion" to the Iranian ambassador to Washington, Ardeshir Zahedi. They were dubbed "the hottest couple", and both divorced their significant others during their relationship. Taylor even traveled with him to Tehran for a time. Shah Reza Pahlavi convinced Zahedi to end his relationship with Taylor.
• John Warner (4 December 1976 – 7 November 1982) (divorced)
• Larry Fortensky (6 October 1991 – 31 October 1996) (divorced)

You should notice two things right away: 1.marrying Conrad Nickey Hilton gives her a Paris Hilton connection; 2, she's been married 8 times over the past 45 years! That's an enormous amount of emotional baggage to carry around with you! Now where you've got that much karma following in your track and waiting for an inconvenient moment to pounce, then it's only a matter of time before something very inconvenient lands on you.

In this case inconvenient comes in the form of Larry Fortensky. Now if you'll recall Liz meet Larry when they were both banged up in the Betty Ford Center - America being what it is the Betty Ford Clinic draws a real cross section of America society from washed up teen pop singers to laid of steel workers. Drugs are a great equalizer. Anyway Lizzie & Larry hit it off and next thing you know and as quick as a wink, the former Hollywood sex goddess is hitched up with a recovering alcoholic unemployed bricklayer. Just call him the original Kevin Federline.

They seemed to get along for a while. Larry doted on Liz constantly & following her around with shawls that he could suddenly toss them over her if a paparazzi was spotted lurking int he bushes. This was supposed to present the image of Larry as a caring husband, rather than what everyone thought that he was. What they thought he was is what you would think of the 40 year old man who goes after a 70+ woman with millions of dollars. Apart from dubious media stunts the pair actually seemed to get along and Larry seemed to know his place.

Now this kind of celebrity hook ups almost never ever last unless you're James Garner or something. So naturally the Larry & Lizzie arrangement started growing apart. They divorced and Larry got a very a generous settlement (ever get the impression that Liz doesn't kid herself?), They went their separate ways, Larry to what ever nice blue collar home that struck his fancy, and Liz to other male companions who could give her what she needed in her declining years.

Now the thing abut these amicable split ups is that they're like dormant volcanoes waiting to erupt with destructive fury at any moment and without warning. That's what happened to Liz later over that last man she ever married - Larry Fortensky. Seem that Lucky Larry ran into some fiduciary problems.

Now these fiduciary problems of the third degree.Mainly Larry is in default on some major loans and now is in danger of losing his home. So he's sent out the SOS to his sugar mommy to cut him a check and keep a roof over his head, Hitting up the ex to keep you in your new home might sound like a helluva nerve - especially when too was already taken care of - except that Liz has steeped in and done this kind of thing before.

In fact Liz has repeatedly bailed Larry out of one financial jam after another. One fo the most serious was after Larry seriously injured himself falling down the stairs drunk, and was never able to do an honest days work after! Liz paid up his mortgage and then chipped in which some living money.

Once again Larry is in arrears. Since that his house has been foreclosed on. Unless he gets some immediate help, he's gonna be out on the street. Once again he's turned to old reliable except hat this time there's a twist. Liz is in very frail health. By frail think Mr. Burns from the Simpsons before his regular morning defibrillation. So Lizzie isn't actually non compete memphis to go writing out checks to some dead beat she used to screw 20 years ago when she was emotional vulnerable. So this looks like Larry might have to make it on his own. Give him the benefit of the doubt though, if he can hook up with Taylor at Betty Ford, then he jut might have what it takes to jump start his career with a spot on Celebrity Rehab, & if not that then Dancing With The Stars!

Jayne Russell Dead @ 89

Believe it or not there's more going on in the world of entertainment than Charlie Sheen. Screen legend Jane Russell has passed away at the age of 89. She died at her home in Santa Monica, according to her son Buck Waterfield, of respiratory failure.

Russell made a big impression in the movies. There were a couple of things that you noticed about her right away. That's what caught mogul Howard Hughes attention. So he signed her up to a 7 yer contract with his movie company. The he cast her in his Billy the Kid picture The Outlaw. That was made in 1941, but was only seen in limited release 2 years later. Seems that Russell made a big impression on the movie censors too.

At 5'7" and 38D-24-36 Russell's stats were in a whole different ball park from many other actresses at the time. So movie censors didn't quite know what to do with her. It seems that which ever way she twisted and turned on screen, her cups were in danger of running over. It seemed like Hughes knew the positions to twist and turn her in too. In fact Russell's cleavage was such a big deal that Hughes, a talented amateur engineer, and to redesign he bra - in the form of a cross your heart, to contain the danger! Taking the measurements for that piece of work must've been a ticklish situation.

There was more to her career than Howard Hughes. In 1948 she stared as Calamity Jane opposite Bob Hope in The Paleface. By now Russell's reputation preceded her. By that I mean that Bob was find of introducing her as "The two and only Jane Russell!". She did plenty of other films too but perhaps her most memorable role was in Gentleman Prefer Blonds, with Marylin Munroe!

Russell was married 3 times: to pro football hall of famer Bob Waterfield, actor Roger Barrett, and real estate broker John Calvin Peoples. Though unable to have children she did adopt 2: daughter Tracey and sons Thomas and Robert John. She also started the World Adoption International Fund (WAIF). WAIF was a pioneer organization in helping American's adopt from overseas. Russell was also a prominent Republican and in later years a serious Christian. She organized Russell started the "Hollywood Christian Group" - a Bible study for film industry Christians, and was an occasional guest on the Praise The Lord show on the Trinity Broadcasting Network (not to be confused with the disgraced PLT Club of Jim & Tammy Baker. IN that case, critics said, PTL stood for Pass The Loot.).

Perhaps the best way to remember Jane is from one of her best loved roles. So here now are the two and only in Gentlemen Prefer Blonds.

John Paul Getty 3 Dead

The name Getty has been in and out of the media for years. It was most recently in the media when television actor Balthazar Getty started seeing Sienna Miller behind his wife's back. Sienna has a habit of doing that sort of thing. It's how she's slept herself into and then out of a major motion picture career. Anyway bats was well known apart from his TV work and risking catching social diseases with Sienna. He was the great grandson of legendary oil tycoon J Paul Getty. His grandfather was JP 2, and his father was John Paul Getty 3 - that Getty.

John Paul Getty 3's life was lived in the public eye since the day he was born - Nov 4 1956. He made an immedaite impession on his grandfather who described him as a "a bright, red-haired little rascal… most cheerful and cute", but things would go down hill from there. A childhood spent in Rome - where his father headed a division of the family business - didn't do much for the lad. It seemed to lead him down the wrong. It was in Rome, in 1964, that hias father divorced his mother - Gail Harris, and took up with Talitha Pol, step grand daughter to Augustus John (artist).

JP3 never got it together after that. He drifted into a Bohemian lifestyle of booze, drugs and bad company. He supported himself painting and nude modeling. He also got himself kidnapped. In 1973, when he was 16, JP3 was taken from his apartment at 3 AM by men who would later demand a ransom for the oil heir's release. That's were things got really sticky.

J Paul 1 - balked at paying the 3 million dollar ransom. His official story was that he had 14 grand kids, and if he paid off on this, he'd have 14 kid napped grandchildren. Now that sounds more tough than fair. People who knew the old man observed that he also balked at paying tips on meals. He once left his pocket change on the table after being nagged about it by a dinner companion. That came to the princely sum of under $1.

The kid nappers weren't to be as easily handled as service personnel. Employees of Italian newspaper Il Messagero received a package containing human hair and a decaying ear. The note claimed that the ear belonged to Getty, and if they weren't paid promptly, more odds and ends would be arriving by post. The old man reconsidered and decided to pay off the ransom. However in typical Getty style he made the payment in the form of a loan to his son, at 4% interest!

The payoff worked and Getty 3 was released. He showed up on the road between Rome and Naples wearing a blanket and covered in blood. He was also malnourished, badly infected, and generally in desperate shape. He'd gotten infected after the ear had come off, and his captors had tried to keep him alive with massive doses of penicillin. Not only did it not cure the infection, but triggered an allergy. His captors had also used alcohol, perhaps to prevent him from cracking up; and he developed an addiction to it.

Thew hole ordeal further deepened rifts within the Getty clan. While JP3 went off to a clinic and then skiing - to recover, his mother spiraled into a depression. When JP3 phoned his grand father - to thank him for paying off, the old man refused to accept the call (maybe it was collect?). With mom in bad shape and C Monty Burns giving hm the silent treatment, JP3 drifted into a deeper relationship with his girlfriend 24 year old actress Martine Zacher. She was 6 years senior to the 18 year old, and also 5 months pregnant by the time the married. The ceremony was something to behold: the bride wore black and Getty was so messed up that the official performing the ceremony questioned whether or not Getty actually knew what was going on. Incidentally the child Zacher was 5 months pregnant with at the time was Balthazar Getty.

BY the time the 70's rolled 'round JP3 was in bad shape. he was now drug addicted, paranoid, and unable to sleep. If he was expecting family support then he would be disappointed again. In 1976 the old man died and left a $4 billion fortune. JP3,a nd his father, were cut out in the will. however a dozen of JP1's female friends - who provided care and support for the old geezer in his declining years - were handsomely rewarded. However JP3 was a beneficiary of the Sarah C Getty Trust (trust funds are what the uber rich set up when they finally figure out that too much money will fuck up their kids). It was fortunate for Getty - if anything in his life could be called fortunate - that he had the family trust to fall back on; since his health was about to take a major crash!

In 77 Getty underwent surgery to repair the damage from his ear amputation. That wasn't the last of his health problems. His body was in rough shape from alcohol & drug abuse, the lad was found of herion and cocaine, in addition to brandy. So in 81 he had a major liver failure. That triggered a stroke, which lead to 6 weeks in coma. When he awoke, he was blind, mute, and paralyzed. It was beginning to look like the only thing he'd inherited from his grandfather was all the trouble that money could buy (which is often plenty!).

Getty showed that he'd inherited something else from the old man - will power. Getty submitted to a cruel therapy & rehabilitation regime, which involved daily painful physio. He made some measure of recovery and by the late 80's was able to get out an about again. In fact he was sometimes seen at the movies, and other social events. he even made one foray back onto the slopes. his health was that fully recovered though, and he could only ski while strapped into a metal frame.

Health was to remain the issue through out the remainder of his life. His home had been converted into something his friend Timothy Leary described as a high tech hospital ward. Behind the wall panels in Getty's home were the most advanced medical equipment available at the time, just in case they ever came in handy. Apparently with the push of a button walls would flip, and the tech would emerge, like a scene from a James Bond film. Some of the lifestyle accouterments concealed behind the oak paneling included lasers, X-ray machines and even a private blood bank.

Despite his efforts JP3 never did escape the wheel chair. That left him mostly confined to his family estate in Buckinghamshire, Chilterns. The family home, named Wormsley, was on 3000 acres, and had been designed like a theme park version of an aristocratic manor home. There was a cricket pitch, mock castle, towers, and everything except a moat and draw bridge. It also contained one of the best collections of rare books. On a practical note it had been completely wheel chair adapted. It was on the Wormley estate that John Paul Getty 3 died Tuesday. He was 54.

Zsa Zsa Gabor Believed Dead

It's been a long sad road down hill for Zsa Zsa Gabor since the days she grabbed public attention by slapping an LA traffic cop for having the nerve to write her a speeding ticket. NOt hat she was ever out of the eye since then. Her husband Prince von Arnholt had some questions to answer when it came out that he'd been tight with deceased sex bunny Anna Nicole Smith. He tried to adopt her back when they were having sex together. Then there were Gabor's health problems. She'd had some heart trouble and a series of strokes that left her in and out of the hospital, and in and out of consciousness, for the past 5 years.

Now it seems that the Zsa Zsa Gabor story has reached it's next chapter. According tot he Pulitzer Prize winning National Enquirer, AFTRA - American Federation of Television and Radio Artists has suspended her pension. The reason that they'e done this is because they believe that the 93 year old actress is dead. Maybe it's not that they believe she's dead as much as they're not sure whether she's still alive. Though that may sound like it's a strange predicament it's every professional actor's worst night mare and generally considered to be a fate worse than death!

Naturally Prince von Arnholt is concerned about this: the check's being cut off that is. He doesn't sound so concerned about his wife. So Prince has decided to take matters into his own hands and set the recrd straight by contacting TMZ. Prince Frederic von Anhalt, told RadarOnline.com that his wife is "surely alive" and he has been trying to get to the bottom of the situation. "Zsa Zsa's pension from AFTRA hadn't been paid since September so I called them to see what was going on and they told me that Zsa Zsa was listed as deceased." You can understand his concern. Some people just hate it when anything happens to the money of some one they love.

Von Arnolt does have some other interests besides his wife's money. He leads and active and busy life. The Prince even wanted to get a paternity test - which The Prince was entertaining a professional woman when she robbed him. She then left the poor Prince handcuffed to the steering wheel of his car and with his pants pulled down. This got even extra attention since it came on the heels of his public statements about possibly being the father of Anna Nicole's young daughter Danilynn. Only a few years back, and shortly after Anna Nicole's tragic demise, von Arnolt got caught out in public with his pants down -literally! That only goes to show that you gotta have respect for the dead.

Now for the many conspiracy buff's out there, this is the latest transmission from Gary Bell & The View From Space!

Oscar Nominated Italian Film Maker Dies in Apparent Suicide

Mario Monicelli was one of Italy's best known film makers. He was the writer and director of many of that countries favorite comedies from the 40's to the 60's. He was even Oscar nominated. So it made news when the elderly film maker jumped to his death from a window in Rome's San Giovanni hospital yesterday. Monicelli was suffering from terminal prostate cancer.

This comes in the wake of the death of another Italian film maker Dino De Laurentis earlier this month. In fact Monicelli was one of the people interviewed for a response on the death of De Laurentis.The pair had worked together on the 1963 Oscar nominated The Organizer. According ot Monocelli, De Laurentis had told him to stay strong and "told [him] to be brave. He said if you push forward, without fear, you can accomplish most things."

Monocelli started his career in 1935. During his career he worked with some of the most notable Italian actors, such as Toto, Alberto Sordi, Vittorio Gassman and Marcello Mastroianni (He worked with Mastroianni in Big Deal on Madonna Street in 1958). He would even rack up another Oscar nomination for Casanova '70. He was to continuing working well into old age. A film about his neighborhood in Rome, Monti, was entered in the Venice Film Festival only 2 years ago. He was also an outspoken critic of Italian Prime Minister and media baron Silvio Berlusconi.

Monicelli wasn't the only accomplished film maker to die recently. Irvin Kershner, director of The Empire Strikes Back, died in his Los Angeles home Saturday after a 3 1/2 year battle with lung cancer. He was 87.

George Lucas met Kershner while attending his lectures at USC and said he “knew one thing for sure: I didn’t want to direct the second movie myself. I needed someone I could trust, someone I really admired and whose work had maturity and humor. That was Kersh all over.

“I didn’t want Empire to turn into just another sequel, another episode in a series of space adventures. I was trying to build something, and I knew Kersh was the guy to help me do it. He brought so much to the table. I am truly grateful to him.”

Leslie Nielsen Dead

Veteran comedic actor Leslie Nielsen has died at 84 in a Fort Lauderdale hospital of complications following a bout of pneumonia. The actor had been hospitalized for the past 12 days and died peacefully in his sleep with his friends, family, and wife Barbaree at his side. Nielsen acted in over 100 films in the course of his career, as well as doing countless TV spots. Rather than eulogize the late actor let's remember him from one of his best known roles Det. Frank Drebbin in the Naked Gun.



O.J. Simpson was still a beloved media personality - those were innocent days. No one would hire him to play a cop these days, since he crossed the line from make believe good guy to real life villain. Now here's Gary Bell with the latest transmission of The View From Space.

National Enquirer giving Michael Douglas 3 months

Remember when the National Enquirer gave Michael Jackson 6 months to live? That was back around 6 months before he died. They almost got as much creditability out of that as they do from their Pulitzer prize nomination. Naturally the encouragement sent them on a deathwatch spree, and they were predicting the immanent demise of everyone in Hollywood, up to and including Oprah & Kirstie Alley - some of Hollywood's biggest stars in other words. That lead to a blow up on Twitter. Kirstie tool some kind of personal exception to the Enquirers little death prediction - celebrities can be so sensitive - and declared all out war on the mag. She even published the home address of the reporter who had given her for years (so unappreciative for the gift of time), and encouraged whatever fans that she might still have (There are still a few of us Cheers watchers out here!) to harass the hapless journalist! After that the Enquirer went back to their preoccupation with John Edwards' active love life.

The Enquirer has got their nerve back and re entered the celebrity death business. This time they're giving beleaguered Michael Douglas 3 months to live. Even casual celebrity gossip followers know that Douglas - one of America's most talented film makers - is doing battle with a serious case of cancer. However most people decided that he would overcome this, and so went on to other concerns.



Douglas' many friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and well wishers were sounding optimistic. Shia Labouef - his Wall Street 2 co star - claimed that Douglas would beat this cause he's "a wolf". Then again Labouef has every reason to pull for a Douglas recovery. Shia pulled a Megan Fox and publicly criticized his former Hollywood sponsor Steven Spielberg, claiming the director had dropped the ball on the latest Indiana Jones - man are those movies getting old. Ordinarily that would be career suicide since directors have been known to take such comments as personally as Kirstie Alley might take a tabloid death prediction (anyone heard from world's sexiest woman Megan Fox lately?). However Shia probably felt that he'd made a powerful new friend with Douglas and so his working relationship with Spielberg was now expendable. Nobody plans on death - unless they're suicidal.

As Douglas conditioned worsened everyone got less optimistic - and Labouef got more nervous about his future (it must be nice to know that at least one person is really pulling for your recovery). Some serious talk about when MD might pass from the mortal coil began. Some gossip had the actor down to 145 pounds. Still more talk had him refusing the more difficult forms of cancer treatment. Tabs were even printing stories about Douglas requesting Catherine Zeta Jones have one more child by him, as a going away present.

Now the Enquirer has come right out and announced that Douglas is about to pass on. They're featuring it on next weeks cover, along with their official prediction of 3 months left. Further more they've down graded his weight to 139. They're also referring to a mysterious secret that Catherine Zeta is hiding from him. So if you're following the tragic Michael Douglas story this might be worth checking out. That is unless it would feel too vulturish or something. Not tht it should feel especially vulturish. It's been noticed more than once that the fame business is something like offering your flesh up for sale in a for of professional cannibalism.

If that's too morbid then you can check out Elin's ultimate revenge on Tiger Woods!

Tony Curtis, 1925-2010

Tony Curtis was born Bernard Schwartz in the Bronx New York, the son of a failed actor turned tailor. His father moved frequently and that led to Schwartz's first foray into acting. He said later in interviews that since he was always the new kid, he was always getting beaten up. He worked out and angle where he'd be the crazy kid on the block, so the other kids wouldn't mess with him - and then went on to work out some "crazy" routines.

It also caused young Bernie Schwartz to escape into the unreal world of the movies; not only for psychological security, but for real physical safety. Back then, for about a dime, you could spend 10 or 12 hours in the movies hanging out in the front row. So that's what Bernie did. It was some where that the roving packs of neighborhood kids wouldn't track him down and beat him up.

Movies would later become Schwartz's escape from poverty. He arrived in LA as a ‘morally unacceptable, uneducated, ill-mannered upstart’. Casting agents liked what they saw enough to overlook the rough edges, and pretty soon he was working regularly in bit roles. He also got a name change. The studios felt his name was too ethnic, so it got anglicized to Antony Curtis. Antony came from the title of his favourite novel Antony Adverse, and Curtis from the name of a favorite uncle.

Curtis went on to become the studio's most popular stars. He stared in such notable films as Some Like It Hot with Jack Lemmon and Marylin Monroe, The Defiant Ones with Sydney Poitier, and Spartacus with Kirk Douglas, Laurence Olivier, and about half the star power in Hollywood at the time. He also garnered more weekly fan mail than any of the competing talent. He was married to Janet Leigh, another studio darling of the day, in what was supposed to be a dream match PR ploy. Curtis was to marry 6 times in all. Among his children is actress Jamie Lee Curits.

As Curtis got older movie roles dried up. That lead to a prolonged battle with depression, booze, and cocaine. It was in one of his frequent bouts of recovery that he took up painting as therapy. He got so good that he began selling his paintings professionally. He even got some critical praise for his work.

Later life was difficult for Curtis. Years of heavy smoking gave him his famous rough voice. It also eventually caused lung disease. Curtis struggled with that for years. It was to leave him in a wheel chair. It also contributed to the heart attack which killed him only recently.

Curtis leaves many to mourn: wife Jill, family, friends, colleagues, and fans throughout the world. His wife made a public statement following the announcement of his death.

'His heart survived things that Tony would always say would kill an ordinary man,' she said.

'This time, his heart was ready to go and ready to be at peace.'

His daughter, actress Jamie Lee Curtis, said in a statement: 'My father leaves behind a legacy of great performances in movies and in his paintings and assemblages.

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Gordon Ramsey - Hot Potato

"Joe was a brilliant chef, and our thoughts go out to his family, friends and staff"

Now everyone who's watched high intensity TV chef Gordon Ramsey knows he brings the heat into the kitchen. Some people are now saying that the loud mouthed celebrity chef is too hot too handle. The somebody is his fellow Hot Potato TV judge Eric Ripert. Ripert lashed out at Ramsey via social networking site Twitter following the death by suicide of their colleague Joseph Cerniglia.

"Your business is about to f--king swim down the Hudson"

Cerniglia has his problems. His restaurant was 80 000 in debt. To make matters even worse he'd recently gotten busted for cocaine. The bust took place in his restaurant. Now that leads to a whole other bag of trouble. In addition to jail time, he could've wound up losing the business, depending on whether or not prosecutors felt like making a federal case out of it. So Cerniglia decided to beat them to the punch by jumping the gun. He jumped off of a bridge into the Hudson River.

Though Cerniglia had plenty of personal problems not everyone is willing to let Ramsay off of the hook. Ramsay's co judge on his latest reality TV chef show, Eric Ripert, took to Twitter to give Gordo a blast. Said Ripert via the social networking site:

"Nothing personal against Gordon Ramsay but he is a poor inspiration for
professional chefs in his shows," Ripert tweeted. "I have my bad days to but
always try to improve. TV or not - its no excuse! Ultimately I believe in the
goodness of Gordon but he is very wrong."

Ramsay can be hard to take. On one episode he made reference to Cerniglia's personal troubles by telling him that his business was about to swim down the Hudson. Nor is this the 1st Ramsay chef to cash in their chips. In 2007 a Hell's Kitchen chef, Rachel Brown, shot herself in her Dallas home. There's another Ramsay connection - the chef's brother is a long term heroin addict. For the uninitiated, heroin is a major pain receiver. So some are speculating that Ramsay is a hard man to deal with. At the very least he's probably not the guy to call if you're standing on the George Washington Bridge thinking about jumping and looking for some one to hand you a life line.

Success stories & shit news

This kind of casual, cool realism has given the new British films easy ascendancy. Room at the
Top features the new cool realism. Not only is it not a success story, it is as much an
announcement of the end of the Cinderella package as Marilyn Monroe was the end of the star
system. Room at the Top is the story of how the higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his
backside. The moral is that success is not only wicked but also the formula for misery. It is very
hard for a hot medium like film to accept the cool message of TV. But the Peter Sellers movies I'm
All Right, Jack and Only Two Can Play are perfectly in tune with the new temper created by the
cool TV image. Such is also the meaning of the ambiguous success of Lolita. As a novel, its
acceptance announced the antiheroic approach to romance. The film industry had long beaten out
a royal road to romance in keeping with the crescendo of the success story. Lolita announced that
the royal road was only a cowtrack, after all, and as for success, it shouldn't happen to a dog.

~Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media

Brandon Davis Is Not Dead

Lard Lad & Tubby Lady Killer Still Among the Living

Brandon Davis is not dead. The story got started through a report on Fox news about an anonymous 26 year old who got killed in a gas station explosion. Blogs like Perezhilton were quick to go with this starting a Google trends overload on Brandon Davis dead searches. However the anonymous gas station victim was not Davis, but some poor unfortunate. AS far as anyone knows, the man known as Greasybear, and who christened Lindsay Lohan Firecrotch, is still very much alive.

who's who

A little background for those unfamiliar with Davis - he's the heir to a billion dollar oil fortune who isn't bad looking when his glandular problems aren't acting up. He's also dated every young hottie in Hollywood from Mischa Barton to Lindsay Lohan - including Paris Hilton. He also got into some kind of bust up with Pink outside a LA nightclub over parking space. That got tweeted upon and Pink picked up some easy kudos for kicking Brandon in the buts or something. So if we've learned nothing else from Mr Davis it's that you can make yourself more popular by picking on some one that no one likes! Getting killed in a gas station explosion might have seemed like the ideal end to his colorful career as a celebrity, however that sort of thing only happens in pulp fiction.

don't go off half cocked

This is the latest in a long line of Dead on the Internet hoaxes that have taken in some very big names in media/blogging circles. If you're too quick on the draw and not thorough enough in your fact checking you can get taken - no matter who you are. However there have been enough of these Internet pranks by now that any one would be cautious when they see the world dead beside the name of some fairly famous person. Remember that credibility doesn't mean you're right. Don't believe it until it's wondertrash!

Now here's that FOX report that lead to the Brandon Davis Dead rumours that took in the likes of Perezhilton (now no longer the Internet's top gossip blog), TMZ, & Radaronline!



That's the trouble with FOX, even when they have their facts straight people still form the wrong conclusions. Now is that FOX's fault??

My Chemical Romance - bleary eyed melodrama continues

BTW for those still keeping track Lindsay Lohan is out on bail. She was taken directly to jail, in handcuffs on Friday. This was for some sort of violation involving alcohol, cocaine, & Twitter. Twitter seems more like an error in judgement - however you can easily see how it could be classed as a violation when taken too far, as it usually is and especially when in the hands of celebrities. Now the official word was that Lohan wasn't gonna be getting out this time because this wasn't a sentencing, but a hold over for a parole violation. She'd have to punch in her 30 days until a new court date could be set.

red eyed theater

However Lohan's lawyer did some nifty and nimble legal work and filed a write of Habius Corpus. Now that means Lohan's right to due process had some how been violated. So with all the violations going on in both directions saner head thought that it would be better to get Lohan off their hands, like a hot potato. So they issued bail, that was promptly paid. As of now Lohan is cooling her heals in some rehab facility or another, awaiting her next high profile chemical indiscretion!


Now here's a little music video dedication for Brandon, Lindsay, and all those other poor wretched celebrities from A List down to triple Z, who haven't yet made the transition from tabloid fodder to pop culture legend by way of the usual route.

Sexy 'n' Sorry

positions with perks

When you're a big high powered celebrity doin' some screwin' is just one of the perks of the position. Of course sometimes things get out of hand. Like in the strange case of Robin Mortimer. Mortimer is the founder, and boss,of British Motorcross. he also had a healthy interest in some unhealthy pastimes; like bondage and extreme sadomasochism.

Mortimer had a wife, however still felt the need to go trolling around London's numerous sicko clubs looking for a little relief from his urges. That's where he made the acquaintance of Mistress Lucrezia. Ms Lucrezia is one of Europe's most perverted dominatrices, and a prostitute. Together with her partner Mistress Juno, the woman who describes herself as “sadistic, intelligent & perverse," and "a sadist of the worst kind,” entertained Mortimer at her Belgian flat for over the course of a weekend. Somewhere between the whips, chains, and nitrous oxide, Mortimer died. Prosecutors are awaiting the results of a full autopsy before deciding how to proceed. That leaves everyone else asking "How did Jesse James ever miss out on this bitch?"

BTW nitrous oxide fueled sex is what killed Brit funny man Peter Sellars.

Destiny's love child

The combination of sexy & sorry has reached into the rarefied world of super entertainer Beyonce Knowles. Knowles has stopped speaking to her father, and completely shut him out of her life after it was revealed that he fathered a love child with a woman 20 years his junior. DNA tests confirmed that Matthew Knowles father a son, Nixon (that name never works out) on his 38 year old mistress Alexsandra Wright, and he did it while still married to Beyonce's mom!

Matthew managed Beyonce's career through her early rise to fame with Destiny's Child. However things have reached an all time low point between Beyonce & her dad. Unnamed sources are quoted as saying:

"Beyoncé was horrified to find out her dad cheated on her mom. She always looked up to him, and she is very close to her mom, so this has hit her really hard. She is refusing to speak to him, which is making things difficult where it comes to managing her career. Some people at Columbia now think it would be better to move him aside."

The suit was filed back in October, and the resulting DNA tests have allowed the courts to compel the Knowles the elder to pay almost $9000 a month in child support. It also helped trigger a divorce between Beyonce's parents. Naturally Beyonce's PR reps are hard at work denying the obvious. Says one: "There is no merit to this. This is absolutely false."

BTW if Wright's name sounds familar it might be because she was no the TV series Scrubs.


celebrity quote of the day:

“People write to me and say, ‘I’m giving up, you’re not talking to me.’ I just write them a simple message like, ‘Never give up,’ you know? And it changes their life.”
~Justin Bieber

That Bieber is really on the ball. Speaking of which baseball season has begun and a healthy interest in sports is a good remedy for an unhealthy interest in sexy time - Unless you're ARoid!. So Keep you eye on the ball & remember something inspioring that some one else told you sometime! That way you can avoid bugging Bieber.

GIFSoup

Speaking of freaky sex Lexx hottie Xenia Seeberg has veered into the extremes of drastic plastic surgery. Since splitting with her hubby (he called it quits after Xenia, a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, beat the shit out of him. The poor man had to show up at the Berlin premier of Inglorious Basterds wearing shades and an eye patch - also with a new chick!) Xenia has had a insecurity crisis. She assumes that the marriage tanked out because she's losing her looks, instead of because she beat the crap out of her man - men never complained about it before. So she's gone under the knife for extensive touch ups. Here now is a world exclusive of Xenia's post surgery face!


I'm sure that it'll look just fine once the sharp edges flatten out out. On the bright side her fore head is very smooth.

Are the best of us like the rest of us?

the human condition - Survive the dive and arrive alive!

Celebrities seem to have it all. While they do appear to have fulfilled our most cherished aspiration like fame. wealth, beauty, etc.; they are also prone to the same set backs as the rest of us; like unemployment, illness, & death. It doesn't matter how high they've ascended either, since the fickle finger of fate can reach them even at the pinnacle, as poor Sandra Bullock found out shortly after what should've been the greatest moment of her life.

an insane instance

Take Tom Cruise for instance. Back in his Nicole Kidman days no one in Hollywood was bigger. Paramount payed him the princely sum of 10 million a year just to keep an office in their studio. Then Major Tom lost touch with ground control, & went haywire on Oprah's couch! After that it was as if he couldn't get arrested. Even though his movies had always been solid A material, people couldn't get over the image of him on afternoon TV giggling and jumping around like a lemur on crack cocaine.

Cruise falters while halting Hitler!

Tom has put tout a few movies since then, most notably Valkyrie. That was the one wear he tried to kill Hitler! Maybe that explains why Tom is in PR overdrive lately. He's just had his Knight & Day debut with Cameron Diaz - she's the girl who stays in shape by having sex and who's name spells "Crazed, I moan". They were a hit together in Vanilla Sky; where Diaz played the crazy stalker chick. Even though critics liked them together again this time, the movie flopped. It only brought in about 4 million on it's Wednesday opening. So Tom is now making a last ditch effort to hype the flick - by appearing on Jimmy Kimmel. Here now are the clips from that, and though not as interesting as his Oprah Winfrey work, is posted for your viewing enjoyment.

Jimmy Kimmel's Mind

Tom Cruise wasn't the only thing on Jimmy Kimmel's mind last night. He also took some time out in his monologue to reflect on the passing of pop icon Michael Jackson. Next to Brooke Shields and Elizabeth Taylor, Jackson was most closely associated with his side kick - Bubbles the Chimp. That strange relationship is what elicited comment from Mr. Kimmel.

selling your soul & mortgaging paradise

Michael & Bubbles: The Untold Story - that must've been a humdinger! Michael Jackson is another instance of a celeb who had the world, until life caught up with them. In the year prior to his death he couldn't turn a buck; he sold most of his major assets such as a majority interest in the Beatles catalog, mortgaged Neverland, and had even planned a come back tour. It was during the preparations for the tour that he died from an overdose of profonol, administered by disgraced cardiologist Dr. Conrad Murray. In the year since people have been unable to talk about little else but Jackson. Other celebrities who passed about the same time were eclipsed: celebrities like Farrah Fawcett.

Great Big Splash!

Farrah passed at almost the same time as Jackson. She'd been battling intestinal cancer for some time - so the media outlets had her obituary already written (it's standard operating procedure for mags to write up the obits for celebs most likely in advance, so that they'll be ready at a moment's notice). Big splashy tributes and retrospectives had been planned. When Michael Jackson died unexpectedly (Almost, Wondertrash had been posting on Jackson's worsening health for several months before his actual death - search the archives & see!), it pushed Farrrah out of the picture. Only Ryan O Neal's disgraceful funeral antics kept Farrah in the public's mind's eye. Now with the anniversary of her death here as well - here's a a clip on how her family is coping with the loss.



At least Ryan didn't make a pass at anyone during that. Then again the only close kin available was troubled son Redmond. However Ryan and Redmond aren't the only ones remembering Farrah - the good folk @ PopTV.com have put together a little video tribute for the late actress:

Restylane & the rest of us

Farrah's illness and passing serve as a reminder that celebrities are flesh and blood like the rest of us, no matter how hard they try to replace the mortal bits with collagen & restylane! Gywneth Paltrow might deny that she's is any percentage restylane, though she does exude some strange oily substances when subjected to bright lights - maybe the heat affects her frigid air. She also preaches her own version of the good life via her internet newsletter GOOP ("You don't need to be an icy bitch to appreciate the finer things in life but it helps"). Despite her growing awareness & icy bitchiness Gywneth too is as mortal as the rest of us. It's recently been revealed that Gywnnie has a bone disease. Here's the low down on that!

Fair Ms Frigidaire - she used to be the next Grace Kelley

Hopefully Gywnnie won't be too disappointed with herself. A trip to the naturopath and some power yoga should have her back to her old self in no time flat. Besides, illness can strike on reptoids even higher up the food chain than her. Reptoids like Dick "Darth Vader" Cheney. Cheney is more accustomed to putting people in the hospital - like the time he shot his best friend in the face while pheasant hunting down in Texas. His friend later apologized for the embarrassment he caused Cheney by blocking his shot. I guess there's nothing like a face full of bird shot to help you get it in perspective.

Is Darth Cheney a Dick Vader?

In fairness to Darth Dick, he has logged some hospital time himself. It's usually for a heart condition, which is surprising considering all the rumors that he hasn't got one. Anyway the skeptics on that will be disappointed to hear that Cheney does in fact have a heart - it's put him in the hospital again too.

Maggoty with political opinion!

Since America has the best health care in the world you'd think that those high powered specialist would've gotten to the bottom of his problem by now. My guess is that it's something simple. His heart - the most human organ, is probably just rejecting it's host. Cultivating alittle warmth and compassion might make Cheney's stony breast a more habitable place. A good place for Cheney to start might be by informing himself about health care. He might even be able to take a few notes from celebrity commentator Penn Jillette in the following video:

wearing their Achilles' Heel on their sleeve

No matter how rich & powerful they get, celebs are still prone to the same weaknesses as their fellow men. It's as if there ongoing attempts to dehumanize themselves into immortal glory - like Achilles bathing in the river Styx - were doomed to failure. A vulnerable heel remains for fate to strike at. With that in mind, maybe we can extend a little human understanding towards those who have become the prisoners of their own ambition and insecurity. We might also take the lifestyles of the rich and famous as cautionary tales. Live your lives wisely rather than too well.

Gary Coleman - cause of death offcial

plus startling new complications

Gary Coleman's official cause of death has been determined. The former child star's cause of death is listed as head injury due to an accidental fall. Renal disease is listed as a contributing factor. Many would've cited Shannon Price as at least a contributing factor is not cause in effect.

As for Shannon Price, she is listed as spouse in the official documentations. That's where things start to get complicated. Shannon and Gary were divorced back in 2008. Shannon maintains that they were still common law man and wife right up to the bitter end.

Whether that is legal basis to give Shannon the right to pull the plug may have to be determined legally' Shannon feels it does give her the right to Gary's estate. She even has a hand written addendum to prove it.

That's good for her since Gary;'s former manager, Dion Mial, is executor of his estate via his previous will. Dion doesn't like Shannon one iota and is trying to freeze her out. Plus Gary's long estranged family is coming out of the word work and positioning themselves for a piece of the action! Plus there is more than one will one the table.

Gary & Gray

That brings us to complication number 2: another woman has filed another will - dated 2005, and is claiming to have been Coleman's girlfriend. Anna Gray claims to have been living with Coleman, as a lover, up until a few years ago. She originally met Gary in the capacity of a home health care worker - and then went on to live with Coleman and Price in some sort of "threesome".

Even though Shannon eventually made Anna pack her bags, Anna feels that she has as much right to the loot as Price. She's presented a will which leaves everything to her. Plus she feels righteously indignant over Shannon's behavior. Says Gray through her lawyer Randy Kester via RadarOnline.com: "She has no right to his things. I would not have cared one bit if she went into his house and took her personal things, but I understand... nothing is left in the home beyond Gary’s bed and his clothing. She has taken all his personal papers, evidence and other belongings. That is completely disrespectful and a further indication of what her objectives are.” Relations between Price & Gray have already reached the point where a restraining order has been filed by Gray against Price.

celebrity cautionary tale

So what's the moral of the story? Gary was complaining back in the early 90's about still being a virgin. Now he has two women fighting over him. So anyone can attract women if they're dead and have money. It might also be observed that Gary's fate was probably sealed the moment he said "I do". So be careful what you wish for.

Shannon Price Round 2!

sole beneficiary

Shannon Price has taken her conniving and money grubbing to the next level. Gary Coleman's ex has submitted an addendum to Coleman's will, purported hand writen by the late actor himself. The addendum makes Ms. Price the sole heir to Coleman's. The document states that "all and any monies, properties, bank accounts, earnings, model trains, vehicles, cars, toys, games, electronics, homes, other inheritances…," should be left to Ms. Price exclusively. The document goes on to say that "This I have done because of my personal selfishness and weakness and I love her with all my heart.", supposedly in Gary's words.

where's there's a will...

While it is still being debated whether or not Shannon had the right to disconnect Gary's life support, the merry widow is claiming that she was still Gary's common law wife despite their 2008 divorce. Shannon claims that they were still living together and that in fact they were continuing to have sexual relations right up to the bitter end. Well not the very end. She was too busy arranging photo ops of Gary's corpse. Still that answers a question that was on people's minds since Gary announced that he had married her. Though the pair were tight lipped over the sex question during Coleman's life, it only took the promise of a possible windfall to get Price to own up about the sex thing. If there are any lingering doubts about the sex thing don't worry; I'm sure that Ms. Price would even be willing to release a sex tape, supposing that suich a thing exists.

still in the will or grasping at straws?

The one fly in the ointment is the the document is dated 2007. Their divorce was in 2008. Shannon claims that they were still man and wife in all but name only. She further maintains that they continued to hold joint bank accounts and file joint returns together, but only up till 2008. They did file submit an extension for 2009 as "filing jointly", but since that may have been filed as the relationship was disintegrating, it might not hold weight. Meanwhile yet another will has surfaced leaving Gary's estate to a mystery woman. That could put a monkey wrench in Price's plans for a return to Caesar's Palace for more pampering! It also brings the Gary Coleman Will Fiasco to the Howard Hughes level of complexity. If too many of these documents surface the estate will be hung up for years, with no one benefiting.

Whoever said that you can't blame someone for trying never ran into this bitch! If she keeps this shit up some one will be tempted to run into her, with a truck!

For the gory details hit the link to a copy of the purported will addendum - Price Coleman will.


On a side note I would like to say that I met Gary once briefly about a year back. It was @ the Yonge & Bloor Starbucks. I told him that I loved his work and thought he was way better than Different Strokes. He said I was the only one who truly understood him. He then quickly scribbled out a will on a napkin, leaving everything to me. I will be submitting this shortly. Why should I be the only one not in on a piece of the action?

Shannon Price Cashing In On Death

Shannon Price is the ex wife of the late Gary Coleman. She's not doing n herself an favors either. For one thing her call to 911 was perceived as a little cold. When the operator asked her to go in and check in on her husband, she responded that she'd rather not because it would make her uncomfortable. She was also the one to order the plug pulled. Now she's sold Coleman's 'death pictures' to The Star for an undisclosed sum of money. Naturally that's provoked some outrage and even more commentary. For the outraged commentary let's go to the mainstream media via CNN.



Shannon says what they had was 'golden'. Well might it be as she goes on cashing in on it. That's something that she almost certainly will do. However with Gary's estranged family coming out of the wood work for their piece of the action she might have some heavy competition on her hands. Besides, even CNN is now as much as saying murder. If that takes off she'll have some real trouble on her hands. Poor Gary sure could pick 'em.

When Gary had his fall the first thing that passed through the minds fo many was "Did Shannon help him over the stairs?" Of course everybody didn't some right out and say that - they're not Internet bloggers. Her statements about fearing he would soon die, and that they were having a re commitment ceremony (just like Anna Nicole Smith had before her own untimely demise!), didn't help. It's as if the crafty woman were preparing the ground and postioning herself to take advantage - "allegedly".

So that leaves us with the question "Could a celebrity possibly do such a thing?" The vaguely famous are no strangers to the wrong side of the law. Take Real Housewife Sonja Morgan. She didn't push anyone over the stairs - that we know fo. She did get herself busted on DWI/DUI. That let to another celebrity mugshot!


She kinda looks like former Desperate Housewife Nicolette Sheridan.

Now from the offensive to the blandly outrageous, here's another look at that Sandra Bullock Scarlett Johannson kiss.

Wrongful Death

Gary Coleman - more opportunities than ever before & this time nothing to complain about!

Wrongful death is the theme as Gary Coleman's parents take it to the next level. They started asking all sorts of questions following their estranged son's suspicious death. Now Coleman's parents made it clear that they weren't blaming Gary's ex wife Shannon Price. Explicitly not blaming a person is the sneaky way of blaming them - as if by pointing out that suspecting the person would be the reasonable thing to do but your not going to do it in spite of that. Besides they merely want closure.

Well spite aside, Gary's parents now are suing for custody of the remains. That sounds a little odd since they were to interested in Gary while he was still alive and among us. In fact their had been a 25 year separation between them. Now that he's gone they seem making up for lost time.

So what interest could they have in Gary Coleman's body (besides releasing the autopsy video for cash?). Perhaps they wanted it tested to see if Shannon was poisoning him or something. That is unless they actually planned to have Coleman's corpse stuffed and then taken on tour, in a last ditch effort to wring more money out of the hapless fellow. I will say this - fighting over the body is a poor way of getting closure. Another thing, this is something that Sophocles never anticipated in Antigone. Then again for clear portrayal of human nature inaction you have to resort to the Bible.




In other news David Carradine's widow is suing over his death. Carradine was found in a Thai hotel hung by the neck in what appeared to have been a sex stunt gone wrong. Carradine had a history of sex related weirdness including trying to shoot him self in the groin with a blank cartridge. Carradine later commented on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson that he'd screwed up a perfectly good tattoo over that stunt.

History didn't stop the conspiracy theories from growing. Soon kung fu message boards were posting that Carradine was a rogue shaolin master gone to Hong Kong to crush the Chinese mafia. He had been assignation on the way by black hand Taoists masters as Bruce Lee had been when he tried the same stunt decades earlier. Or so the story goes.

Well no his widow is getting in on the act. She's suing the production company over wrongful death. I'm not sure what the basis for the suit is but it doesn't seem to have anything to do with Kung fu conspiracies. It may not even have much to do with hotels letting in underage hookers - but the production company has more cash than the hookers. I guess the Widow Carradine has been in Hollywood too long to believe in conspiracies, & especially when there's a buck to be made (to which she may even be entitled). There's no people like show people, you know!


truths, half truths, and utter bull shit:


Wondertrash would like to confirm that the rumors are in fact true: Mel Gibson did briefly work in Australia under the screen name Randy Gibb!

"Bridge on the captain!"

—William Shatner, after filming his death scene in Star Trek Generations.

Allegedly. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/3673712/William-Shatner-The-man-who-fell-to-Earth.html

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