Brat Pack

gotten rotten

If you read the last Wondertrash post you might have gotten the feeling that I'm just not trying anymore. Maybe the word 'apathetic' in the title was a give away. Trying leads to so much mischief in life - if our celebrities are any indication - that sometimes not trying is worth a try. The less effort the less trouble gets made. However if everyone thought like that then the history books would be empty, and school boys would have nothing to trouble them. We can't all be buddhas, right away anyway. So in the spirit of wholesome mischief, here's some fresh shit.

Justin TV

It seems that no one is bigger these days then Justin Bieber; not since Charlie Sheen went back on his meds and recovered from that case of Sheenius. It seems that when ever this kid breaks wind it becomes an over publicized non event of the kind that might get 24 hour on going "developing story" type coverage on CNN. So if you so sick of this kid that you want to punch out random mop topped teen on the street, then skip over this part. It's gonna send you over.

breaking Bieber

The latest out break of Bieber fever has the Beeb on CSI. He was already killed off on Law & Order, but like Jesus the death didn't take and so he back to haunt us. As said his latest appearance was on CSI, though it might have been easier to take if he'd appeared in a grilled cheese sandwich or bowling alley lane - Jesus style. Anyway Justy keeps his cheesy mainstream so he got on CSI where he met Marge Helgenberger.

Justy & Busty

Now this musty been a big deal in the life of a growing boy. Margy, you'll recall, is the gal who acts in CSI and whose boobs are prominently feature, often hoist up into a firing position. So Justy must've been keen to make a real good impression on her. Maybe that's why Margy says that he seemed like a real nice guy when she met him. Her exact words, as quoted by Radaronline, were "He was nice to me." See, I said he was nice!

Everyone can't have big boobs, so Justy can't be nice to everyone

Thing was that it didn't stop there. Seems that Justy wasn't quite so nice with his other, non mammary endowed castmates. In fact Boobs, I mean Margy, goes on to say that, and once again I quote by way of Radaronline, that "I shouldn't be saying this but he was kind of a brat." Actually that part got said on a French radio interview, but Radaronline got wind of it and repeated it! Busty goes on to say that "He was nice to me but he locked one of the producers in a closet and he put his fist through a cake that was one the cast's table!"

the moral of the story

So what can we draw from this? Well for one thing Justy is a real swell guy, if you happen to be a hot chick with great big boobs that stick up at a 45 degree angle. Other wise watch you're step, cause he can be a rotten little jerk. Also we've learned that you have to watch what you say, cause what you say can get around. Even if it's said over seas and in a foreign language. If it's about Bieber then the world is gonna know about it and more sooner than later. That probably has something to do with the Internet! Finally we've learned that the mass media hasn't gotten tired of talking about Bieber yet, not matter how sick of him everyone else is. That probably has something to do with his appeal to teenage girls and middle aged "Herbert the Pervert" types. So we're probably gonna keep hearing too much about him in the future, even if you dearly wish that he and Miley Ray Cyrus would run away together and never be seen or heard from again.

Now something in the spirit of big boobs sticking up on a 45 degree angle!

dirty ditties - every doggerel has it's day

Some people wonder what's gotten into celebrities today. I think that it's the age we live in. The whole sad sorry mess can probably summed up in the following little ditty!



So you real can't blame the Biebs for being as rotten little jerk when thing are rotten, like the song says! Even a Robin Hood might fall victim to his own vanity.



So when other legends are forgotten, just remember back when things were rotten. It's a Wondertrash thing!

Shit Happens - How John Edwards lost his chance & got into tabloid hell

Rielle Hunter was a troublesome tiresome bitch even back when she was called Lisa Druck. That description might be a bit harsh. Maybe she was an accident waiting for a place to happen. That's if you want to believe one of her oldest friends. The friend is Pigeon O Brien, and Pigeon is the one now taking credit for ratting Rielle and her presidential candidate boyfriend John Edwards out to the National Enquirer. So Pij has some explaining to do. Explain she has in a recent HuffPo piece, the gist of which is below.

Pij knew Rielle back when she was Lisa. That was in the 80's at a place called Nell's bar. According to Pij, Lisa was either always swaggering around hollering her head off, or frightening guys out of the bar and into taxis that sped away rapidly. No one really liked the obnoxious little twat, but she was interesting. There were lots of stories about promiscuity, other women's husbands, and strip poker. Besides many were a little too afraid of her to stand up.

Pij & Druck moved on and lost touch, the way friends will. Then one day O Brien meets her old friend again. It was 2004 @ a swanky NYC dinner party. Rielle shows up, but totally reinvented. She's got a head full of new ideas too, like Buddhism, MTV, motivational speakers as the new rock stars, and of course striking it rich! Pij was at loose ends (that's what you call it when some one is into web design & PR on a freelance basis), and Hunter had a lot of ideas to keep her old friend occupied. So they got together to do a website aimed at getting Hunter into the motivational speaking racket by way of MTV. Now this wasn't just a big idea but was backed up with a lot of hot air, as the pair spent hours a day jabbering with each other on the phone.

Since swinging their jaw bones was as close as they got to productive work, the website never really took off. O Brien and Hunter's relationship got a little strained. They'd occasionally lose radio contact. Then one day and out of the blue as it were, Hunter calls up and says that she's in love. She describes a guy from North Carolina. While Pij is busy thinking Jethro Beaudine (Those Yankees and their ethnic-regional stereotyping! It's the white middle class educated liberal's version of racism.), Hunter goes on to describe a golden god with rock star charisma. O Brien didn't put 2 + 2 together right away. Maybe she was expecting Robert Plant. When O Brien heard the words"John" and "North Carolina" on TV and looks up to see John Edwards on the screen with Hunter hovering near by, the jig is up.

"SHIT," I thought to myself, "we're in trouble now."

Now this is where the story gets interesting. Pij & Hunter had a sort of up and down relationship; as you might expect with at least one drama queen, and when bills for services rendered aren't getting promptly paid. Hunter had stopped teaching yoga to devote herself full time to the Golden Meal Ticket. Meanwhile she's constantly babbling on and on about love. Meanwhile Edwards was positioning himself for a run at the White House. Since his wife Elizabeth was a big part of his public image package, things were about to get really interesting.

standing out in a crowd and still spell check fixable!

It was about the same time as Hunter began producing a set of cheesy promo videos for Edwards that people began calling O Brien to inquire as to the nature of her friend's relationship with Edwards. O Brien says that the media tracked her down through her listing on Hunter's website. The fact that her name is Pigeon makes her stand out from the Jennys and Janes (now you know why celebs love to have outrageous names). Pigeon says that at first she was very tight lipped about the whole cheating on his dying wife with the crazy bitch from my old bar story. The reporters just wouldn't leave her alone though. Eventually the constant nagging got to her. She started asking herself whether this kind of behavior is acceptable in a public figure. She states in her article that it's no one's business who you sleep with, but issues of trust and betrayal are very important. I guess that's supposed to make what she did next come off as noble.

a raw nerve in a barrel of monkeys

According to O Brien some where along the line she got the idea that the public needed to know. Getting herself out of hot water wouldn't be so bad either. So she started phoning the numbers of some of those publications she said were eager to talk about Hunter (I think she mentioned about 2 before she got to the National Enquirer, though to hear her tell it the phone was off the hook and she was cracking from pressure. So the assumption is that she got a few calls from a couple of places that noticed who did the video and then checked out the website. Since Edwards was in the primaries they may have thought that it was worthwhile to call and ask a few general questions. They may not have had anything specific in mind, which is born out by the fact that when she got back in touch they didn't know what she was talking about when she mentioned "the affair". It's either that or she didn't get all of her facts straight for her big HuffPo article. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt ans assume she was a bit histrionic and overreacted.). Her first few ventures didn't come off - people who wanted to know didn't believe anything was going on. Finally she got around to The Pulitzer Prize Nominated National Enquirer. That's when she hit pay dirt!

The Candidate & the TV Psychic!

According to Pigeon the NE wasn't exactly sure who Edwards was at first. So she had to bring them up to speed, so they'd understand how the affair fit in. Once they got the general idea they didn't need much encouragement. A presidential candidate cheating on his dying wife with a TV psychic sounds like something just made for them. Only the additions of Bigfoot and a UFO could've made the tale complete! So they started sniffing around for whatever smelled like shit.

faux vox popoli

That's the point at which the cat crawled out of the bag. Edwards got Hunter under wraps - hiding her out in a series of rented mansions according to Pigeon. Meanwhile HuffPo, sensing that the shit was about to hit the fan something might be up, printed an article questioning why the Hunter produced promo vids had all of a sudden disappeared. That got them a lot of hate mail from outraged people pretending not to be associated with the Edwards campaign. It also nearly got the article's writer Sam Stein fired. However things had gone too far by that time. Within a week or two the NE published it's Edwards Cheating story.

This is the point at which anyone with any sense would've dropped out. Edwards plowed on. Pressure was put on the media to shut the fuck up ignore the stories. After all it was only unsubstantiated rumor based on the kind of circumstantial evidence that failed to convict OJ Simpson. John himself began throwing around cruel and hurtful phrases like "tabloid trash & lies" (celebrity types can be so unkind when they're on the defensive). His long suffering wife made off the record comments about the Enquirer as the UFO paper. Meanwhile Edwards' functionaries memo-ed the LA Times begging them to take the journalistic high road and not to go down market with the gossip shit rags. The shaming and bull shitting might have worked too, except Johnny Boy got caught spending a night with Hunter in a hotel. If you play around with fire long enough you're bound to get burned!

John Edwards - a frickin totally bitchin rock star from Mars!

So now the cheating story went into overdrive. Hunter's pregnancy got out too. Edwards tired to deny that at first. He claimed that he'd only been in that hotel late at night with an emotionally unstable woman because he desperately wanted to help her with her troubles. Besides the woman was clearly some sort of slut on the make so her kid could belong to anyone - Mel Gibson, 007, you name it. That kind of desperation is the sign that the chips are down.

John Edwards is like the last rat on a sinking ship

When the chips are down is when you find out who your friends really are. Some of Edwards friends, like Andrew and Cheri Young, decided to make their own deals. Young wrote a tell all about the man he backed to the hilt for years, called the Politician. Since he'd done a lot of work keeping the Hunter story under wraps, his damage control experience must've made him credible. Of course Pigeon went to the National Enquirer to get the dung ball rolling. Who knows what possessed her, beyond her self professed Jimmy Stewart style commitment to American Democracy (note to readers, never watch Mr Smith Goes to Washington while you're on acid, 'cause it will mind fuck your brains down into your socks! "My God - I've got to go out and get into trouble by doing the right thing so that the cavalry can rescue me!"). Readers will get the impression that flighty and self involved Hunter could be a tough act to take, and if you had to deal with her long enough you want to see her get what was coming to her too. Of course if Edwards had any real friends, or even trustworthy handlers, they'd have recognized what Hunter was before she ever got through the door, and run interference.

the upshot on this shit -"let's be careful out there"

So I guess the upshot is that we live in a global village or something now. That's like living in a semi detached housing complex - think Melrose Place. So it's an environment where news is increasingly gossip; and that kind of bad news can do you in (as John Galliano has found out the hard way - suppose France wants Jack's Legion of Honor back?). So don't piss anyone off, or you'll get their goat - and they might even get yours, as Rosesanne Barr's Hawaiian neighbors recently and allegedly pointed out. Now go out there and behave yourselves!

Angry Samson

by Robert Graves
(1895-1985)

---

Are they blind, the lords of Gaza
In their strong towers,
Who declare Samson pillow-smothered
And stripped of his powers?

O stolid Philistines,
Stare now in amaze
At my foxes running in your cornfields
With their tails ablaze,

At swung jaw-bone, at bees swarming
In the stark lion's hide,
At these, the gates of well-walled Gaza
A-clank to my stride.

That's So Wrong.

Wondertrash & Wonderflash

If you're and up and coming professional celebrity attention is money in the bank, and if you don't get it you're out of business. So the $64 000 is "what's the easiest way to get a lot of attention fast?" There is an old saying in the business that "Sex sells". That means that if you're young, attractive, and of the female persuasion (Don't ask "who persuaded you?" because if you are female it won't be the last time you'll get talked into something!) there's one sure fire way to get everyone talking about you fast - flash your goodies, or come as close as you can get away with to that! With that in mind, and who doesn't have sex on the brain at least a little bit? - it shouldn't be any surprise that some up and coming eager beavers are giving people something to talk about. Our first case is a young lady whom we're gonna be hearing more about as her wedding to a certain high profile TV & radio personality approaches!

Hassling the Hough

Julianne Hough (the chick who looks like Dexter's wife - Julie Benz from the show, not his on the show sister Jennifer Carpenter who's his real life soon to be ex) is a popular young country & western singer. She's also engaged to Simon Cowell's side kick Ryan Seacrest (Ryan is the Gracie Allen to Cowell's George Burns if you will). Now the couple have a big 3 million dollar wedding planned for Paris. However life ain't all wine and roses and April in Paris for the Hough. She's currently embroiled in a country music controversy that's got her on the wrong side of the Nashville establishment, and the CMT network. It all has to do with her video That's So Wrong.

Now the video in question features Hough caterwauling about love, or something like it, while she takes of clothes and squirms around like she's got a bad case of bed bugs. So it's a soft core strip tease (& more tease than strip) act of the kind music video viewers are familiar with. It's nothing that isn't seen regularly on TV and in family viewing hours. However CMT ain't happy about it. CMT has banned the video from their network allegedly on the basis that it's too hot to handle. CMT likes to keep country traditional. Traditional means gals with big hair and bigger boobs wearing more grease paint than a circus clown and singing about cheating or getting cheated on. So Hough's skanky antics have no place on their airwaves! What's more Youtube and Truveo have followed suit and banned the video from their sites (BTW for all you aspiring Mark Zuckerberg's out there, the domain name Youtune is currently up for grabs!)!

Hough doesn't know what the brouhaha os about. For one thing she insists that she's a religious gal. She's probably as religious as any other country western chick who ever went out into a bar and got drunk while lookin' for temporary love, so I'll leave that alone. Anyway Hough says that she comes from a small town (Sandy, Utah) where takin' off your clothes for money is shameful. I guess that means she just gets sexy for attention. Attention she's getting too, though it should be said that CMT claims Hough's Miley Cyrus routine had nothing to do with banning the video. It was a contractual thing. Contractual thing in business is the equivalent of a celeb saying that they're suffering from exhaustion when they check into hospital from a booze overdose - a flimsy excuse.

Hough has been trying to shed the good girl image, along with her clothes, recently. She did something wear she appeared covered in gold paint. It was a mermaid shoot with Kristen Bell and Mena Suvari. She's also booked up to play Ariel, not a mermaid, in the new Footloose flick. Hough says that the Ariel character will be pretty wild - in a modest small town religious way I guess.

bottoms up to the bottom line

The upshot is that the sex act is paying off. So Hough can't be blamed too much for responding to encouragement. Country isn't cool if no one watches, right? Fans are right behind her too. She's getting tons of support on Internet message boards, where Hough Helpers point out that she wore less clothes on her Dancing With The Stars appearances. Now that's DWTS business and DWTS has flexible standards. For instance that's where Erin Peephole Andrews went to save face after her privacy was violated by some random pervert. You may recall that Andrews was video taped prancing around her hotel room naked. Andrews was so humiliated that she had to book on DWTS to get her esteem back, by wearing slinky clothes, flirting with her partner, and flashing herself around. Andrews wasn't being hypocritical but making a valid point, that her privacy is her's to violate! It's the working principle that pro attention whores live by!

So this whole pseudo scandal is still up in the air: with CMT saying that they don't object to the video though the won't show Hough, and Hough saying that though she's outwardly defiant she's inwardly hurt and humiliated. There's no sign of a resolution either. That's okay though since Hough doesn't have to rely on CMT for her bread a butter. As said she's gettin' hitched up to Ryan Seacrest (take that everyone who thought he was gay!). Anyone who can afford to drop 3 mill on a Paris wedding in this economy can afford to keep Hough in snake skin cowboy boots and bedazzled Stetsons. besides, I hear that Seacrest has a few connections in the music biz! So y'all can look forward to seeing a lot more Hough!

Girl Power!

Speaking of music industry attention whores Katie Perry is no stranger to sex and attention. She outs out a pretty strong sex vibe in her act. That's got her a lot of fans and Booky Wooky author Russell Brand as her hubby. Russy's the guy who got kicked off of BBC Radio for having sex with Andrews Sachs (Manuel from Fawlty Towers) grand daughter. In Russy's defense Sach's grand daughter is some kind of a burlesque artist - or a palm reader. Judging by her out fits it might be either.

Anyway marriage made Russel a changed man - he apologized to Manuel and started slapping around paparazzi like Sean Penn back in his Madonna days (Russ got out raged when a paparazzi tried to get a closer look at something Katey's shown everyone via TV, the Internet, and the Brit tabs. While Russ insisted that he was in his rights, most were left asking "what was the point?"

Sex has gotten Katie so much fan enthusiasm that when she recently mentioned that she wanted to play Wonder Woman about have the Internet said "Right on!" That's about half as many as when Megan Fox said that she didn't want to play Wonder Woman. Katie seems to be reinforcing that point in her public appearances too. For instance here's a recent pic of Perry prancing around the stage in a little red one piece outfit that's gonna look real familiar to comic book fetishists out there. Now here's Ms Perry:


... and here's where some of you might have seen that nifty little number before:



That's right - Katie's channel Diana Prince Jr, aka Wondergirl, also known as Wonder Woman Lite, Wonder Reduced, and the Economy Version. Even the sequins match the stars on Donna Troy's red catsuit. If the microphone had a line attached then it could've doubled for a magic lasso! As for myself, though I was doubtful about Perry as Wonder Woman, she might be a better Wondergirl. Besides, that was the role that gave Debra Winger her start!

Socially acceptable bondage - in one form or another!

So there you have it: a couple of cases of young celebs who've found a short cut to top. Talent and performance aside they've made sex a bog part of the package. It's paying off too. So we can expect a lot more wonderflash from the wondertrash coming soon. Just be careful if you decide to try this at home. There's bound to be strings attached to these short cuts, and they won't be the magic lasso of truth, either! Those ties that bind can get awfully tight if those high profile celebrity fuck ups are any indication. It seems to happen more sooner than later too!

Hollywood Refugees

Is it possible for some one to take over control of every aspect of your life? If you're married, or if you're Randy Quaid, then the answer is "yes". How does this secret band of Hollywood Star Whackers take control of an unsuspecting celebrity? Well according to Randy Quaid they tag you cell phone, put bogus stories about you into the media, and of course set up power of attorney documents giving them access to your royalty stream in perpetuity! After that they've got you right where they want you. They only thing left for them is to get you out of the way.

That's what Randy Quaid was afraid would happen to him and his wife Evi when their strange adventure began. It started with some legal beefs over unpaid bills. Quaid claims that he and his wife were totally set up. That's the way these 'total businessmen' operate. Then things got gradually worse, until the Quaids had become something of a joke in the entertainment community. With their reputation ruined and the law closing in with a vengeance, that left the Quaids looking for sanctuary. They attempted to find that in Vancouver, Canada, until the long arm of the law closed in on them there too. Once they were picked up outside a bank it looked like deportation, and a messy trial/media spectacle would follow.

The Quaids have so far short circuited that. They applied to the Canadian government for protection, claiming that they were refugees from Hollywood who only wanted to be left alone by the criminals in the United States. If they were sent back then their lives would be in immediate jeopardy from the band of above the law star whackers who've offed the likes of Heath Ledger and others.

Now when that first came out people thought that it must be a lame ploy to avoid deportation. Canada won't sent people back if they're in immanent danger of being killed. However if it's a ploy then the Quaids are taking it to the next level. Randy & Evi gave an interview on Good Morning America today in which they elaborated on their strange conspiracy theories. Not only did they give some details on what they believe is happening to them, but also named some names about who else might be at risk. According to Bonny & Clyde, Lindsay Lohan needs to watch her step - but not in the way that Dr. Drew means (If there are star whackers out there then Dr. Drew has got to be in on it. He already demonstrated criminal tendencies with his "frame her up better than the Mona Lisa" comments about Lohan.). Britney Spears is on thin ice too. Their master stroke was left for Mel Gibson.

According to the couple Gibson has been targeted by the Star Whackers. What's more Oksana Grigorieva was 'sent in' to 'destroy him'. Now that's consistent with their thinking. Gibson has been very successful, so his royalty stream has gotta flow like Niagra Falls, even after all those unpleasant telephone recordings about rose gardens and blow jobs. All some shrewd star whacker would have to do is get him declared mental, take over power of attorney, and make sure that he's discredited in the media so that he will neither be believed or defended! That would explain everything except the tapes themselves. Evi has an answer for that one thought - "He was drugged! Some one slipped him a mickey!" she claimed on GMA. Most people who know about Mel assume that he was drunk and that no one else slipped him anything that he wasn't voluntarily sipping. Still if some one wanted to slip him a mickey, it probably wouldn't be too hard - "Hey Gibson - wanna drink?"

But enough commentary. Here are the Quaids in their own words from that Good Morning America interview! They explain everything including how close Dennis Quaid is to becoming another Hollywood casualty. He's already been pigeon holed into making crap films, according to Evi. Dennis has also been mysteriously alienated from his brother and sister in law. The "crap movies" comment may have had something to do with that. You know how sensitive performers can be. However Evi reassures viewers that Dennis is talented, so no slight was meant. Here now is the interview, so put on your tin fiol hats and be prepared to be amazed.



A compelling argument. Lucidly communicated too. They've answered everything. In fact the only stone left unturned would be a possible Diana Napolis aka Curio Jones connection. I've always wondered why that particular story got buried by the media. I guess no one messes with Jennifer Love Hewitt! Now before you poo poo these ideas remember that stranger things have happened, unless Marylin Munroe really did od on sleeping pils. Besides, 'Hollywood Star Whackers' anagrams to 'Swarthy, hallowed crooks' That's gotta be more than coincidence!

It's easy to make fun of the Quaids. For one thing they're obviously crazy. However let's move out of our comfort zones for a moment, and assume for the sake of argument that they're sane. For one thing they're not saying anything that hasn't been said before. When the late lamented Michael Jackson passed on from Neverland to the final neverland, his own sister Janet claimed that he'd been helped along by people around him that had decided he was worth more dead. At the time we assumed that it was grief talking and so everyone cut her slack. Yet it has just been announced that Michael Jackson was Forbes Top Dead Earner last year. He made $270 million, and that's more than Oprah! Now Jackson's family say that they haven't seen one thin dime of this. The business managers pay the bills but won't issue them any checks. So where's the money going?

Also, in some twitter posts some time back Courtney Love claimed that she was being ripped off by a group of business managers who had set up bogus social insurance numbers for her late husband Kurt Cobain. They then proceeded to take out mortgages on these SIN's. Love claimed that these financial shenanigans had left her almost broke.

Now when Courtney starts talking strange people assume that she's on something and they stop paying attention. Yet a pattern is developing. So many Hollywood stars passed on back in 2009 that people began referring to it as the year of death. It seemed that there were more deaths than might be expected from coincidence alone. So who's to say whether or not there might be something to the talk of conspiracies and star whackers.

BTW happy birthday to the world's most beautiful woman Aishwarya Rai.

Incidentally, one of Ms. Rai's biggest pet peeves is people who pronounce her lat name as Buchanan! You can call her the most beautiful woman in the world though, well right after this chick!

Rick Sanchez Fired From CNN - The Damned Jews Got Another One!

disclaimer:
the following is written in conspiracy theory form, as a satire of ideas that are becoming more apparent in our society

News, views, and Jews!

Rick Sanchez used to be an on air personality with CNN. Nowadays he's hotter under the collar than George Dubya in a burqa. So what's got Rickie's hijab in a twist? Well Jon Stewart doesn't like him and only gets away with it because the media is controlled by Jews! That puts guys like him at a disadvantage. Guys like Sanchez, are in his words guys whose parents worked hard, who were never quite white enough ("white enough" is WASP as defined by the ruling secret Jewish kabal!), and who never had anything handed to him.

Didn't Carroll O Connor used to sing this song at the beginning of All In The Family?

Guys like Stewart, on the other hand, are guys from the college educated middle class. Their father's have degrees, while their mothers have part time jobs of choice that allow them to maintain their dignity and afford pretentious off season vacation packages. Their parents send them to prep schools where they wore penny loafers with dimes in them just to be assholish, and learn to stick their nose in the air by thinking that everyone else is stupid.

a couple of teabags shy of a pot, or just thought no one was listening to Sirius

So naturally there's an 'animosity'. That animosity spilled out last night during an astonishing Mel Gibson type radio rant out featuring Sanchez on Pete Dominick's Sirius XM show. Rick was pissed off about getting replaced as CNN anchor in favour of an Elliot "Quagmire" Spitzer Show (The Jews again! When will they leave this man in peace?), and to promote his perhaps ironically titled new book "Conventional Idiocy". Sanchez was mighty steamed about getting the ax, so he had a full head of steam to work off.

Guys like the snob on MASH, not the drunks on Cheers!

Now he had the explanation for CNN. The guys there just don't get it. They don't get it because they don't get where he's coming from. Where he's coming from - in more or less his own words - is an 'off white' background of hard knocks where dads did real jobs for chicken feed and their sons didn't get into Ivy League colleges with a letter from the bishop or local state senator. So when they see him they just see some 'latino'.

"It's not just the right that does this. 'Cause I've known a lot of elite, Northeast establishment liberals that may not use this as a business model, but deep down, when they look at a guy like me, they look at a ... they see a guy automatically who belongs in the second tier and not the top tier ... White folks usually don't see it, but we do, those of us who are minorities ... Here, I'll give you my example, it's this, 'You know what, I don't want you anchoring anymore. I really don't see you as an anchor, I see you more as a reporter. I see you more as a Jon Quinones.' You know, the guy on ABC. That's what he told me, he told me he saw me as Jon Quinones. Now, did he not realize that he was telling me, 'when I see you I think of Hispanic reporters?' 'Cause in his mind, I can't be an anchor, an anchor's what you give the high profile white guys."

Rickie has some 'splainin' to do

Now what Rickie actually says is that when he sees when he looks at Jon Quinones is a Hispanic reporter. Though "Jon Quinones" are fighting words, let's not get sidetracked on side issues when there are bigger fish to fry. Fish like that little know it all Jon Stewart. Stewart is similar to those North Eastern Bean Towner types except more so. More so means raised in New Jersey with over educated parents and a temperature controlled silver spoon up his ass (that probably came with batteries & a remote control - you know what 'those people' are like with science & gadgets). That's why the little snot boy just has no respect for anyone who isn't a member of his little junior chamber of commerce clique of privileged, uptight, smugness. However let's let Sanchez say it for himself:

"It happens all the time. I think to a certain extent, Jon Stewart and Colbert are the same way. I think Jon Stewart's a bigot ... Yeah, I think he's a bigot ... I think he looks at the world through his mom who was a schoolteacher and his dad who was a physicist, or something like that.

"Great, I'm so happy that he grew up in a suburban, middle class New Jersey home with everything that you could ever imagine."

Jon Stewart thinks he's a big man - a regular Jerry Lewis!

Now bigot is a strong word. When Dominick asked Sanchez to be more specific - that's supposed to be his job as a serious journalist, Sanchez comes up short. It was as if he were just throwing the word around for effect. Just to prove he's serious though, he reiterates:

"I think Jon's show is essentially prejudicial ... against anybody who doesn't agree to his point of view, which is very much a white, Liberal establishment point of view. He can't relate to a guy like me, he can't relate to a guy whose dad worked all his life. He can't relate to somebody who grew up poor," Sanchez said.

Dominick, who was previously the "Daily Show's" warm-up comic, continued to press Sanchez for specific examples of bigoted conduct by Stewart.

Sanchez ended up attempting to back off the comments slightly. "I'll take the word 'bigot' back. I'll say prejudicial — uninformed," he said.

Rick Sanchez's minority report

Now Sanchez may not have all his facts straight - which as a serious journalist makes him a prime target for satirists like Stewart - but he does have a point. Jewart does seem to pick on Sanchez for some reason. Maybe it's because he's intimated by Sanchez's macho. Maybe it's because he resents Stewart's - supposedly - up tight upper middle class Jewish American upbringing. It's the kind of angst non Jews feel every time they see Biloxi Blues: "If only I'd grown up a whiny little momma's boy then I could be funny too!". Then again Stewart picks on almost everyone. So how does he keep getting away with it since he's not that funny?

The appeal of the Daily Show is lost on me. It seems awkwardly satirical with some downplayed PC ass kissing thrown in. It's hardly good enough to justify the fuss. In fact it's barely better than Bill Maher (though much less obnoxious!). Once the genuinely funny and genuinely clever Stephen Colbert came along with some genuine satire, Stewart should have been obsolete. Rick Sanchez has an answer for that one too.

those kind? "Nose" kind!

You see There are a lot of guys like Jon Stewart at CNN. There are a lot of guys like that at other networks to. Whether by consensus of mutual interest or deliberate, nefarious design - these no gooders control the media! When I say a lot of guys I don't mean Freemasons, though they control freemasonry (and Hollywood, Las Vegas, & the Vatican! That's part of their insidious plan to control the world by controlling America, and to control America by controlling the entertainment, the gambling and the religion. Although America doesn't identify it's self as a Catholic country, a disturbing number of American's are, and even one President was, Catholic! You dirty mics no who you are! The fact that they managed to get a Catholic elected president, but managed to keep their boys behind the scenes by not getting a Jew elected president should tell you everything about how these types operate! As of this time Disneyland is still in pretty good shape, but it's getting Jewed up with a vengeance!). They don't have secret handshakes - though then again they might for all we really know. These guys are Jews, and they like to look out for each other. Kind of like a mafia! Here's exactly what Sanchez had to say on that:

"Yeah, very powerless people. [laughs] He's such a minority. I mean, you know, please. What are you kidding? I'm telling you that everybody who runs CNN is a lot like Stewart and a lot of people who run all the other networks are a lot like Stewart. And to imply that somehow they, the people in this country who are Jewish, are an oppressed minority?"

That was both concise and lucid! He summed it up admirably! Now the powers that be, and I shouldn't have to tell you who that is *winkstein* *winkstein* are trying to shut him up! As of posting time CNN had made an announcement that Sanchez was no longer working with their channel. I guess he must've violated some of their little Nazi thought crime rules or something.

Dirty Sanchez, or was Mel Gibson right?

Anyway they made this announcement way in advance of any announcement by Sanchez about his future. They didn't want to give the man a chance to step out with dignity! Not that those kind understand dignity. You'd think that they pushed Sanchez because they were afraid that Rickie wouldn't do the honourable thing and jump! So if there's been no official statement from Sanchez on this, it's because one is no longer necessary now that the deck has been stacked! So when attempts to reach Sanchez for an official comment on why he went Mel Gibson on the radio repeatedly went unanswered, it's not because he's gutless or anything. Let's just say that the Jews got another one! Besides I'm sure that Rick is taking some needed time off to catch up on reading the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Did you know that reading that thing is like reading today's news! It's like it was written by Nostrodamus or something!

BTW since my eyes first started opening to the shadow world behind this one I've learned some amazing things. Here's the most important things you have to know about the World Zionist Conspiracy!

1. Einstein stole the Theory of Relativity while still working as a patent clerk. The thesis was included as part of some guy's perpetual motion invention!

2. "High profile white guys" mean Jews. The 'white elite' are the front people, like Rockefeller was for the Rothschilds when he created the Federal Reserve by sinking the Titanic!

3. Jews have suppressed evidence of an alien crash at Area 51 to maintain faith in an Old Testament god, which is their lock on Western Culture. Of course they also try to undermine tradional values, but that just the Hegelian Dialectic in operation!

4. Jews have been spreading the rumour that Jesus Christ was Jewish for centuries!

5. The Jewish didn't build Stonehenge, but repeatedly tried cheating Stone Age Briton's out of it!

6. Every time you pay your cell phone bill portions of the money go to sponsor Israel!

7. The Jews not only started Hurricane Katrina, but then tried to blame it on black people!

8. Bill Clinton is secretly Jewish!

9. Jews killed Princess Diana because they feared the influence that Dodi Al Fayd might gain!

10. Some of your best friends might be Jewish. Even worse, you might not know it! They routine anglicize their names, Like Bernie Schwartz to Tony Curtis. This way they can inveigle themselves into society and work it's ruin. It's like a kind of Fifth Column right here in our midst. So be on guard, lest they come for you too! My advice - never trust a guy who's been circumcised, or a woman who's had a nose job!

Now a little more of Mr Sanchez and some borderline comments about the pres. Wait for it cause it's about 1 minute into the video.



Well I guess Sanchez's goose is cooked, and rightly so. His career looks like it's going the same way as Mel Gibson's, Michael Richard's, Don Imus', etc. Who knew that world was still such a racist place? Still, if Sarah Palin has shown us anything it's that just because some one has no business having a career doesn't mean that the public has heard the last of them.

Maybe Sanchez will get onto reality TV via race rehab. Now that's not a bad idea since at the rate celebs are fucking up in public the powers that be - Jewish or otherwise - are gonna have to do something or their won't be a celeb left that isn't racist, drug addicted, a sex offender, or otherwise retarded (I can still say that because the retarded aren't a race, right? Or are they?). Who knows, maybe inflammatory FOX News can do something for him. They've aired more extreme, equally insane views on their network. Glenn Beck, with his chalk board and greasy finger of Vick's, is already running his news show on an X Files basis! FOX is America's No 1 source for news related information, just like The Daily Show is America's No 1 source for news related commentary.

Brandon Davis Is Not Dead

Lard Lad & Tubby Lady Killer Still Among the Living

Brandon Davis is not dead. The story got started through a report on Fox news about an anonymous 26 year old who got killed in a gas station explosion. Blogs like Perezhilton were quick to go with this starting a Google trends overload on Brandon Davis dead searches. However the anonymous gas station victim was not Davis, but some poor unfortunate. AS far as anyone knows, the man known as Greasybear, and who christened Lindsay Lohan Firecrotch, is still very much alive.

who's who

A little background for those unfamiliar with Davis - he's the heir to a billion dollar oil fortune who isn't bad looking when his glandular problems aren't acting up. He's also dated every young hottie in Hollywood from Mischa Barton to Lindsay Lohan - including Paris Hilton. He also got into some kind of bust up with Pink outside a LA nightclub over parking space. That got tweeted upon and Pink picked up some easy kudos for kicking Brandon in the buts or something. So if we've learned nothing else from Mr Davis it's that you can make yourself more popular by picking on some one that no one likes! Getting killed in a gas station explosion might have seemed like the ideal end to his colorful career as a celebrity, however that sort of thing only happens in pulp fiction.

don't go off half cocked

This is the latest in a long line of Dead on the Internet hoaxes that have taken in some very big names in media/blogging circles. If you're too quick on the draw and not thorough enough in your fact checking you can get taken - no matter who you are. However there have been enough of these Internet pranks by now that any one would be cautious when they see the world dead beside the name of some fairly famous person. Remember that credibility doesn't mean you're right. Don't believe it until it's wondertrash!

Now here's that FOX report that lead to the Brandon Davis Dead rumours that took in the likes of Perezhilton (now no longer the Internet's top gossip blog), TMZ, & Radaronline!



That's the trouble with FOX, even when they have their facts straight people still form the wrong conclusions. Now is that FOX's fault??

My Chemical Romance - bleary eyed melodrama continues

BTW for those still keeping track Lindsay Lohan is out on bail. She was taken directly to jail, in handcuffs on Friday. This was for some sort of violation involving alcohol, cocaine, & Twitter. Twitter seems more like an error in judgement - however you can easily see how it could be classed as a violation when taken too far, as it usually is and especially when in the hands of celebrities. Now the official word was that Lohan wasn't gonna be getting out this time because this wasn't a sentencing, but a hold over for a parole violation. She'd have to punch in her 30 days until a new court date could be set.

red eyed theater

However Lohan's lawyer did some nifty and nimble legal work and filed a write of Habius Corpus. Now that means Lohan's right to due process had some how been violated. So with all the violations going on in both directions saner head thought that it would be better to get Lohan off their hands, like a hot potato. So they issued bail, that was promptly paid. As of now Lohan is cooling her heals in some rehab facility or another, awaiting her next high profile chemical indiscretion!


Now here's a little music video dedication for Brandon, Lindsay, and all those other poor wretched celebrities from A List down to triple Z, who haven't yet made the transition from tabloid fodder to pop culture legend by way of the usual route.

Koran Burning preacher still hot under the collar

Bad news for common sense. The Koran burning preacher still still set on setting alight a whole slew of Korans. Now this kind of thing is provocative, and in fact inflammatory! In fact it's gotten so bad that Hilary Clinton herself has had to officially distance America from the preacher's crack pot scheme. That probably didn't need to be said, but this is a sensitive subject. It's a sensitive subject Mr Jones is determined to get into, like a thumb in an eye. Though we might have hoped the pastor would have an attack of common sense sometime before the bonfire, he shows no signs of it so far.



Today's wondertrash blog plug is Wonder Woman Wannabe, and it promises to find the heroic amongst the mundane. If you want to search for the heroically mundane there then click on the nifty linked picture of their header below:

To be clear, Wondertrash is more about exposing the mundane posing as the heroic.

The Burning Man & the Hot It Girl

"International Burn A Quran Day"

Nothing causes more trouble than religion and politics, especially when either of these hot topics get into the hands of professional lunatics. The Koran is on everyone's minds these days. That's partly because we're running up to the anniversary of 911. It's also partly because some kooks have decided to make an issue out of it, instead of letting the whole thing drop into the past.

We are definitely trying to send the message

The kook in question this time is a fundamentalist pastor, Terry Jones, who plans to exercise his freedom of expression by burning at least 100 copies of Koran. Jones is the head of a group down in Gainesville Florida called Dove World Outreach. Every year on the anniversary of 911 Dove Outreach holds a memorial. The occasions makes them hawkish too. The usually commemorate the event with some kind of anti Islamic activity. This year they've planned to commemorate the date with a mass Koran burning.

you're not gonna find back bone in stock at mamby pamby land among the Bibles!

The idea is that Jesus Christ is the one true Lord & Savior; but much more importantly, that Islam is of the devil! Now that's not an exaggeration of their views. the put street signs up saying those very words back in June. It's also the title of the pastor's book. Hope he worked Jesus in their some where. You know how easy it is to get carried away in the fun of heathen bashing. You can get worked up into an apocalyptic frenzy, to the point where Jesus gets lost in the shuffle. Maybe if He'd said something more compelling than "Love thy neighbor", He'd have better held his follower's attention. The "America loves a winner" speech from Patton might have fitted neatly into the Sermon on the Mount!

you have the right to free speech, as long as you're not dumb enough to actually try it

Since the pastor has been shooting off his constitutionally protected mouth in public about the minions of darkness, his been getting much more attention than a garden variety Bible thumper is used to. He's already bagged about 100 death threats. that's one for each Koran. That kind of reaction would discourage a sane man. However it seemed to only encourage the pastor.

ours is a peaceful mission - arm the phasers!

So Pastor Jones is planning to go ahead with his book burning as planned. After all it's for a very noble cause. Jones wants to reach out to his poor misguided Muslim breathern. In his own words he says "The goal of these and other protests are to give Muslims an opportunity to convert. We are definitely trying to send the message that Jesus Christ is the only way." At least he's not trying to win them over with sweet talk. If the medium is the message the pastor's approach comes off as inflammatory!

a funny thing happened on the way to the riot

Besides there might come some good of this. The Pastor is right about it being his constitutionally enshrined right to make an ass of himself by stirring the shot everyone else was waiting to blow over. There's nothing wrong with a good old fashioned book burning for that matter. It brought communities together, the way hangings used to back in the days of public executions. Why it's the sort of community spirited mayhem anyone might enjoy. I could even see myself dropping by to toss a few heavy metal albums on the bonfire. That is I would if everything hadn't gone iTunes and MP3. There goes progress spoiling the fun again!

Jolier than thou

Besides, America's commitment to freedom of speech allows for counter balances to people like Pastor Jones. Naturally one of the celebrity set has taken up the cause, and taken it upon themselves to defend America's oppressed Muslim community (has anyone told them that President Barack Obama is one of them? Glenn Beck says it all the time, and if it's on FOX News, then it must be true!). That some one would be none other that Miss Better Than You International - Angelina Jolie.

still cool enough to be different?

Jolie recently gave a press conference, complete with hijab, condemning the Pastor's incendiary intentions. The statement was about as well articulated as usual for Ms Jolie "That's so mean and disrespectful". Not that I'm criticizing Ms Jolie's message. It just that most of us new it already and didn't need Jolie to tell us. Unless she can bring anything fresh and original to the table, we'll have to assume that she's attention seeking again (with Jennifer Aniston's career sinking after her Switch failure and 'retard' remark - it's never been a better time for Jolie to finally get the upper hand!).

this is what happens to Americans who won't eat meat!

Anyway you can make up your own minds about this whole sorry affair by watching Ms. Jolie Voight Pitt's statement right here, in the video below.

botox tears

Another message for the international community. No wonder the Economist is desperate to keep her as an occasional contributor. Besides, the poor woman needs something to lift her spirits. Salt lackluster box office performance was bound to be esteem deflating. She got alot of comments about how rough she looked too. Jolie looked so bad that she had to get immediate cosmetic touch ups after filming was completed.

So making public statements is sure to be a well needed ego booster. She may not be the most beautiful woman in the world anymore, but she's still one of the most obnoxiously self righteous. BTW here's a little pic of Ms. Jolie snapped just after Salt clued up, but before she went into the plastic surgery clinic.

The ravages of long term vegetarianism are all over her face. "Looking rough" is a harsh phrase. We've seen her looking worse. Still that hasn't stopped her from getting out there and attracting some attention. Nor should anyone allow themselves to be suppressed! Now go out there an express your inner wondertrash!

Jessica Alba gets gagged for Machete

Fit to be tied, bound to be gagged

That seems to happen to Jessica Alba from time to time. By time to time I mean every other film. If you go over Ms Alba's body of work you'll find that Jessie winds up bound, gagged, and flexing her big lips like a horse at the bridle in most of the flicks that she does. So does Jessica Alba have a bondage fetish?

The answer is yes and it was her work on Flipper, down in Australia in her early teens, that freaked her up. That show required Ms Alba to be tied up two or three times a season. Bondage was a sort of reoccurring plot device on the show (and probably warped 1000's of developnig adolescent libidos). Anyway the experoence of being tied up with good looking young actors about her own age must've gotten to the young woman. The wriggling and struggling while moaning for help in front of a cast and crew seems to have left an impression.

It was during her Flipper time that Alba was involved in a bizarre incident. She was supposedly kidnapped and missing for about 14 hours. When she was finally found she was bound and gagged in the trunk of a car. No arrest were made and Alba could give no clear description of her abductor. So it was unofficially put down to a teen age girl acting out her abduction fantasy. I say unofficially because no public mischief charges were filed against Alba for her car trunk sexy time.

These things happen to teenaged girls from time to time. Every so often a chick will be found in the trunk of a car covered in duct tape like Tutankhamun in the tomb. She gets rescued by local authorities who put out an APB on a suspect matching a sketchy description. When no one turns up the gal often fesses up, and admits that she tied herself up and locked herself in the truck for kinky sexy kicks.

Not that Alba has to resort to such stunts anymore. Now she's a professional actress.If she wants tog et herself tied up and viewed by the world, like beef in the butcher shop window, she can just request her latest director to included some bondage scenes in her flicks. Those scenes keep showing up. Many actresses request to have them removed. That is until they pass 35, when they get more open to creepy stuff. They try harder once the bloom of youth of gone. Alba's been trying hard for a while now.

If you go back over her acting gigs, you'll find that she been bound and gagged more than any other A List actress her age. Dark Angel alone featured more tie up time than Lynda Carter's Wonder Woman! Into the Blue featured more Alba gag-gage - that time with duct tape. She got the bondage treatment again in Sin City. In fact the only flicks where Alba hasn't been featured chomping down on some kind of mouth restraint has been the Fantastic Four flicks. The above photo is from her latest, Machete. Oh yeah, and Alba also enjoys getting tied up for good causes in her spare time, by way of BSMD themed public service announcements!

Gagged ... Jessica Alba in controversial new Declare Yourself advert

Speaking of sexy freaks who don't mind getting tied up, or down, here's

Fashion's Night Out 2010 - The Show

.




In keeping with the celebrity sex fetish theme here's the lovely and talented Anne Hathaway getting tickle tortured.

Wasn't that a treat? Here at wondertrash you can find more than one way to have a laugh!

Lily Allen Hates Simon Cowell

... and she has some more complaints

The last time we heard from Lily Allen she was threatening to retire from the music business - so much for promises. She was also blaming the Internet for ruining the music industry. She made known in a number of on line rants that she believed that free on line music downloading was preventing artists - such as herself - from earning a living off of their own music. The reason artists don't make money from their own music is because recording companies eat up the profits in dubious production costs. That's why most major acts, including the Rolling Stones - earn their bread & butter on the concert circuit. It's also why many bootleg recordings come from the artists themselves.

Lily might shoot from the lip, but she is capable of reassessing her opinions. For one thing she has finally realized the the Internet isn't her enemy. Lily has come out in another online rant and announced that she knows who's really responsible for the current state of the music industry - Simon Cowell. For one thing Lily thinks that Cowell has shifted the emphasis in the industry away from smart and original indie acts, or even performers like herself; and shifted towards amateurs doing karaoke style covers.

Allen has taken to twitter, and other electronic media previously believed to be the ruination of popular music as she's come to know and despise it - to publicly attack Cowell. For instance Lily tweeted "X factor - FAIL. Too set up/scripted in my humble opinion. I don't know how Simon Cowell has managed to get away with essentially copywriting (sic) the talent contest. It's beyond me, really." She also fielded questions from fans. In response to one the tweeted "It's s--t. FACT! It's everything that I detest about modern western culture. Cowell is the only one who really benefits. People like you EAT IT UP."

So what has gotten into Allen? Well her behavior is no more erratic and volatile than usual. However this might be something she picked up second hand from some one else. For one think Mick Hucknell expressed pretty much the same opinion about a year or so ago. In a very public interview Hucknell basically described Cowell as the JR Ewing (kids get your parents to explain to you who JR Ewing is - but in the meantime think George W Bush). So perhaps Allen thought that she could get herself some credit for being a thoughtful person by recycling previously expressed ideas (I do it daily here - though I've never gotten credit for thoughtfulness. 4 out 5 Tibetan Buddhists have described Wondertrash as mindless tripe, and warned the faithful that the time spent on this site is something that they'll never get back. Then again that's the nature of time and they shouldn't need to be reminded of that!). Goodness knows that Lily needs some help formulating ideas, as she no doubt does with writing her own music.

Now some people speculate that Allen has an ulterior motive for her Cowell bashing. For one thing people claim she's resentful about not being asked on X Factor as one of their celebrity judges. For another some insist she's jealous about celebrity enemies like Cheryl Cole being asked on. Allen is aware of this, and has addressed the issue in her usual calm & considered manner. Allen says, and I quote (hence the inclusion of quotation marks around Ms Allen's statements) "I'd rather actually eat my own crap, than sit next to any of those goons. Except Cheryl, obvs (obviously). I've better things to do with my time than feed the nation with the notion that doing cover versions will sort your life out." I'm glad she added the "actually" into that statement though I'm not sure what it proves, unless she was considering "virtually" eating her own crap and then decided that she actually felt more strongly about the issue.

Now Lily was never one to mince words, or ever leave anyone in doubt about what she really thinks. For instance in regards to the above mention Cole, Lily once said that the singer's husband was "horrendous". She also described Cole's bandmate Nicola Roberts as"the ugly one in the group". Of course that was said during a hi profile word wars between the dueling divas. If you're a regular Wondertrash reader then you know that a lot of shit gets said online.

So what does that say about Lily Allen. Well for one thing she knows how to get attention by shooting off her big fat mouth. She's like Megan Fox in that way; except much more obnoxious and a lot less entertaining. Of course it doesn't take a rocket scientist, or even a Tara Reid, to realize that if you publicly bash Cowell you're gonna get some easy media attention. He is kind of Mr Entertainment these days.

That leads to another theory as too why Allen is shooting off her big ignorant mouth in again. She must have some new project coming out, and needs to attract the spotlight in her direction. If that's true then the bad news is that the rumors about her leaving show business were exaggerated. That story had to be too good to be true. Besides, Allen isn't actually qualified, or even competent, to do anything else with herself (and that includes tweeting without gorss spelling and grammatical errors). Still the cheap grandstanding is unbecoming. Lily should try to put the issue in proportion - it's not Simon Cowell's fault is the public finds 70's & 80's amateur covers more interesting than anything she does. In fact maybe Cowell could come up with e few pointers for Allen to sharpen up her already tiresome routine.