Oksana Grigorieva makes nice

Oksanity!

Oksana Grigorieva was a troublesome woman who caused all sorts of unnecessary anguish. Then she met Mel Gibson! Not that her life began with Gibson. She'd been around, and for a while. She'd been some sort of musician, though people who know her laugh at the claim to anything serious. She'd gotten knocked up by Timothy "The Spy Who Shagged Me" Dalton. She had a kid by him, named Alexander, and that kept her in walking around money for a few years. It didn't do much for Dalton since his career went into a death spiral after getting his dose of Grigorieva. There are somethings that even James Bond can't survive. Still it might be unfair to give Oksie too mucgh credit. Dalton's career was also undermined by his habit of walking around hot Hollywood eateries with his fly down and no underwear on!

she's silly putty purty!

Anyhow Momma's Little Dividend kept Oksie livin' the lifestyles of the rich and famous Hollywood style for a few years. That was convenient since she wasn't getting any younger and had to pay for the up keep on her face, which was how she made her living. So that left her living it up, getting silly putty injected into her head, and sizing up her next victim! For awhile that looked like record producer David Foster. She was staying in his guest house and putting a lot of pressure on the poor man's marriage when some one better came along in the form of Mel Gibson. So she latched onto him, but not before trashing Foster's marriage.

the poor man's rich girl, or vice versa

Part of what ruined Foster's marriage was that Oksany was knocked up in the family way with a child that might or might not have been Super Dave's. That takes infidelity beyond the level of keeping some stray Russian tramp in the pool house (which would be much more fun if the Russian in question was Milla Jovovich, and not some down market blow jobber who looks like she pay off her lips on the installment plan). Mrs Foster need not have jumped the gun since Oksany was busy reconsidered her child's paternity! She decided that the father might actually be Mel, and not the guy she'd been slutting it up win the pool house with for awhile. That might sound revisionist, but Oksany is a big believer in convenience - her own if not any one else's.

from Russia with love & C.O.D.!

So that lead to the explosion of Mel's marriage. Illegitimate kids by Russian sluts will do that. Mel insisted that he left his wife because they lacked common spiritual ground - and finding common ground with Mello these days might require a tinfoil hat - but since she was the one who filed you can use your imaginations. That left poor Mel showing off his new *ahem* prize in public, and in a serious of embarrassing music videos. Maybe they were mucus videos - who knows.

love or a cold war

The relationship seemed happy, if embarrassing, for awhile. Yet the course of true love never runs smooth. That's to say nothing about whatever Mel and Oksany shared. So soon enough things took one of those strange turns that characterize Mel's life lately. Some how the love birds turned on each other. Mel made a lot of bad remarks about Oksany publicly - like she was a drunken smutty pig. Or he would have if he hadn't thought that might be an insult to drunken smutty pigs.

love is never having to speak up for the tape recorder

He said a lot of other stuff too, and didn't mind who felt insulted by that. We know because Oksany had taken to taping their heated phone conversations. Perhaps it was out of sentiment, and a desire to preserve the memory of what they had after Braveheart had moved on. You know how soft heart money grubbing whores can be. She wasn't shy about sharing Mel's special feelings with the world either - & the tapes found their way onto TMZ, or Radaronline, on one of these trash sites (heh heh). When you a woman who's well and truly loved then you just want the whole world to know about it and envy you, so who can blame her!

hand puppet theater - sock it to me!

Now that didn't do Mel's career any good, not that there was anything left of it to worry about; beside that sock puppet film he had cooked up with Jodie Foster (who may or may not be related to David Foster, depending on how paranoid you are about nepotism in Hollywood). Since Mel was kind of hanging on by a shred of a thread he kind of took it personally. So the gloves were off and the lawyers were in on the act. Tempers boiled and rhetoric became inflammatory, while onlookers feared that the situation might go OJ if participants didn't watch their step, or if Mello got too liquored up and had a bad day. He did make those rose garden comments!

things come fool circle

Just when it seemed that the shit would hit the fan things calmed down. Part of this was because Oksany had to take it instead of just dishing it. Mel got some friends in the Malibu Police Dept - he's still got a few - to look into extortion charges and possible deportation. Exile from the land of opportunity seemed to put the fear of God into her godless commie soul. Plus she'd become part of the story and the paparazzi were hounding her in public. She was easier to get to than Mel, but her shit backfiring on her wasn't anything she'd planned on, and seemed to take some of the fun out of it for her. Meanwhile Mel had gone back to his wife Robin, and that seemed to be a stabilizing influence on him. So the only thing left was for the dust to settle.

The Tabloid Narc

That seemed to have happened. Some time last week the Enquirer, unless it was the Examiner, The Globe, or some other shit mag, reported that Mel and Oksany had been spotted out in public together walking calmly and talking softly without any broken teeth or enraged screaming. Perhaps the absence of a tape recorder helped to keep thing on the level. Anyway the tabloid narc, who knew Mel in some capacity, said that he looked at him with a 'what the fuck' expression on his face. Mel just nodded and looked back, unless he looked back first and then nodded. There may or may not have been a wink involved.

Mel less psychotic than usual

So while anyone who was still interested was busy asking "what the fuck is going on with Gibson" it comes out that Oksany has just dropped her domestic assault charges. Those charges stemmed from the tape recording period. Oksany claimed that an enraged and psychotic Mel had fucked up her face while out of his mind. She mentioned that again and again during the recordings. Most figured that it was a life time of bad plastic surgery that left her worse for wear, but that was a matter for the courts to decide.Or it was before Oksany dropped the charges.

hit me baby one more time

Now Oksany had been all worked up what with being abused and all. Apparently getting smacked in the gov, allegedly, by Gibson was some great matter of principle that everyone was required to support her on by backing her to the hilt like she was Rihanna or something. Once she actually sat down and thought about it, though, she seemed to feel more like Tila Tequila, as in "Let's put the whole Merriman mess behind us so I can get on with my career". Oksany doesn't pout it so cynically. She spins it a little more sympathetically, which is what you do if you want people to support you, or at least not try and take your head off for continuing to waste their time.

round 2?

Oksany version, which she gave to E via her lawyer through a "source" claims that Mrs. G dropped her case because she wanted to be free to contact Gibson in relation to their daughter Lucia. So she's basically putting the well being of her daughter first, and wasn't using the charges as leverage in a low down and dirty custody battle. That means the man that she swore on a stack was a danger to life and limb is now free to once again be an active participant in the life of both her and her daughter. So this is the part where something in her story just doesn't add up, like "were you shitting us then, or are you shitting us now?" Maybe she was shitting us all along. Maybe, like Jodie Foster and the movie going public, she's decided that Mel ain't so bad, only a bit misunderstood stood. It's a lady's prerogative to change her mind, but honesty ain't required.

Wonder Woman sez - "Don't be a victim!"

Lunapic Photo Editing

Here We Go Again

same old story, same old song & dance

Jude Law & Sienna Miller are a stormy old story. They began together back at the turn of the century - when Jude was still with the mother of a few of his biological children (there have been more since though it's hard to keep track exactly). That spark a kind of an outrage but Sienna insisted that what she did she did for love, and there's nothing wrong with that. So they were cut some slack. That is until handsome Jude two timed Sienna with his kids' nanny. Miller went around moaning and weeping to the media about how her adulterous love had been betrayed. She also soaked up more than her share of sympathy at Jude's expense. Since Jude was the heavy in the piece supporting Sienna was a way of blaming him: pro vs con. When will we learn - both sides might be bad!



So while Jude disappeared into obscurity, Sienna went on to cash in by playing prestige roles - the kind that require British accents. She did a bunch of costume period pieces and while none of them were ever Box Office No 1's, they got her the rep of a good actress and the established career that came with it.

Sienna keeps busy on the rebound

I guess that getting away with it must've gone right to Sienna's little blond head, because the more successful she got the less sympathetic her antics became. She bounced back from Jude and into the arms of a series of married men. I won't say that she's gone through other people's relationships like a cannon ball through a China shop; but she has probably ruined almost as many marriages as Facebook. In fact wrecking marriages seemed to be almost some kind of game to her. No sooner was one relationship kaput then she'd drop the dude and look for fresh fields to blight. The last marriage she torpedoed was Balazathar Getty's. Getty had the double advantage of being a regularly employee actor, but an heir to the Getty Oil Fortune (those Gettys). So Sienna had to have him. She made no secret of it either as the pair were photographed in any number of friendly positions.

corpus delicti & modus operandus

By now the public was getting tired of her. She was regularly referred to as Sienna the slut & Sienna the Homewrecker (If Chelsea Handler thinks that Angelina Jolie is a homewrecking whore then she'd better never be in the same room with Sienna Miller). Her flat in London got slut spray painted on it. Worse still her colleagues were even more sick of her than the public. She got kicked off of Sherwood for allegedly making a play for Russ Crowe. It would be good for her career, get her in the headlines, plus it's just her usual modus operandi. Russ showed he was more than a pretty face and told her to fuck the hell off. Then he had her fired. She got pissy and made the kind of trouble that wears out your welcome in Hollywood.

When Sienna got pissy she started making up stories concerning her firing. When an A List actress bails on a major production naturally people are gonna ask questions. So Sienna had some answers for them. For one thing she said that she wasn't fired, she quit, she said. If you don't believe that an ambitious girl like Sienna would walk off an A List movie she had an explanation for that too. According to Sienna the movie was unbelievable because Russ Crowe was so fat no one would ever believe that a beautiful girl like Sienna could be in love with him. Then the Sherwood stills came out showing Russ leaner than he was in Gladiator. So people knew Sienna was making up stupid lies to cover herself and make herself look good!

Sienna gets insubordinate

In Hollywood that sin might've been forgivable. How ever Sienna had to follow that by going a bridge too far. She floated a rumor that the project was in trouble because Russ Crowe was trying to get his best friendly Ridley Scott replaced as director. 2 things you need to know about this: 1 actors will form working relationships with directors, like Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. This director will always put them in their work, so it assures an actors career when Super Director will only work with him in a project. Since you owe your career to the guy crossing him would be career suicide.

foxy bitches

The second thing is that directors are one rung up the food chain from actors on the Hollywood food chain. When an actor and director cross, the director wins and the actor doesn't work anymore. Remember when Megan Fox was the hottest young actress in Hollywood. Then she called Transformers 2 stupid (or maybe she was referring to Wonder Woman, and called T2 "lame"). Anyway Michael Bay took exception, He then went on to make a public statement reminding Megan that he'd made her what she is, and questioning her appreciation for that. Megan got nervous and at an awards presentation shortly afterward made a point of telling the world how grateful she was for her Hollywood career, regardless of what else she'd been saying before. It was too late, the damage was done; and now Transformers 3 is rolling out with out Megan.

I bring up Megan as an example of the price paid for defying the pecking order in show business. While Megan merely ran off at the mouth, Sienna's stunt was truly shitty. It was something that neither Crowe or Scott was likely to forget. So her next film was GI Joe. Though Miller said that she was happy to do a film people actually enjoyed for a change - there was no talk about her featuring in any sequels. So her next stop was Broadway. Though Broadway used to be the bog deal in American Drama, back in the days of theater; Andrew Lloyd Weber has killed that. Now it's some where desperate actors land when they're looking for something to break their fall. Worse for her, once her show was clued up there was no word on any furture bookings.

success equals sequels

Though the future was bleak for Sienna thing were looking oup for her former lover Jude Law. He'd over come a few major scandals - like knocking up an American model and knocking out a female tab reporter in Brit - largely through the anti Sienna backlash. Since she was such a rabid slut, Jude couldn't have been completely at fault. That got him a measure of redemption which allowed him to regain a portion of his career. he got some screen work again, and was fortunately cast as Dr Watson alongside Robert Downey as Sherlock Holmes. That was fortunate because Robb Downey was now Ironman, Ironman was a hot, and the studios would let Doweny do other stuff as long as he kept doing Iroman. So the Sherlock Holmes project was good for one or two sequels. That meant Law was back on the high way and headed to the fast lane again.

So with things looking up for Law, there were now certain career opportunities for Sienna. Opportunities of the kind that the girl friends of working Hollywood actors might have access to. So naturally she made a play at her old boyfriend. Naturally enough Sienna went back after Law, and astonishingly he took her back. While the world asked "WTF is Law thinking?", Sienna happily anticipated her return to motion picture work, once her grand strategy of sleeping her way into Hollywood paid off. After all, she wouldn't be the first chick who made in that towen on her back (though she'd have been one of the few to make it back. Once you fuck up that bad you don't get in no matter how sexy a fuck you are, even if you're Sean Young!).



Maybe the world should've asked "How long will it last this time?" If that had been the question then we'd have our answer already. Seems that, and in spite of announcements about impending nuptials and non legally binding Buddhist commitment ceremonies; the couple have once again called it quits. A statement from Jude and Sienna's respective reps was issued earlier confirming that the couple were no longer a couple. In fact that's what Law's rep told People mag earlier - so its' official. Jude's rep said “I can confirm that Jude Law and Sienna Miller are no longer in a relationship. It is mutual and amicable and they are still friends,” a friend told the mag, adding, “It was an entirely an end-of-the relationship decision. It had run its course.”

So where does that leave us? It was a mutual split, like last time. It was also amicable, like last time. There was no talk about Jude's cheating, but there will be when Sienna resorts to her usual behavior, like last time. Jude will continue to hover around Hollywood as a B Lister supporting actor with potential, like before. Sienna will probably continue to make herself unwelcome where ever she goes, like she always does. If this whole sad sorry mess proves anything it's that some people don't learn from their mistakes. So don't be too surprised if they eventually get back together again, for another stab at things before another break up. So we'll be hearing more aboutt hem again, Which is a pity. Just because some people don't learn from their mistakes is no reason why the rest of us should go on hearing about it!

Hollywood Heartbreak Hotel

sex couple splits

Either there is a strange alignment of planets or some one's text message got loose because there's a slew of high profile celebrity bust ups. First off Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds. They got married about a couple of years back. They hooked up back in the heady days of Obamamania. That was an optimistic time and people may have been more inclined to take chances. Well Obamamania is over and so are the Reynolds-Johanssons.

The couple have issued the standard press release in which they wish each other well, claim that they are still friends, and refuse to blame each other for the bust up. Now the split must've been a bad one if they feel the need to put a good face on it like that. Some gossip sites are claiming that they've been busted up for the past 6 months. Maybe Ryan decided to enjoy his Sexiest Man Alive status.

Insiders say that it was Scarlett who initiated the split. Apparently she's been unhappy in the relationship for awhile (it couldn't have been that long because the marriage hasn't lasted that long). AS for Ryan, he's seeking comfort with his ex. Ryan's people are quick to emphasis that comfort doesn't mean in a sexual way. There's still a divorce proceeding going on and who would want it to shift from irreconcilable difference to alienation of affection or even adultery.

Hurley loses another one

Ryan and Scary ain't the only pair of love birds to fly into that great high rise window known as divorce. Elizabeth Hurley has filed for divorce from her significant other Arun Nayar. Hurley has had a colorful past, maybe even more so than her former main man Hugh Grant. Back in the days when they were still together Liz cheated on Hugh with her Passenger 57 co star Tom Sizemore.

Sizemore was a talented actor but is better known today as a drug addict, occasional Celebrity Rehab guest, and frequent mention in gossip and crime columns. Sizemore is heavy drug user and looks skeevy, so who knows what kind of diseases she risked by hooking up with him. AS for Sizemore, he admits he did Hurley, but only as a way of putting Grant in his place. He said in an interview that while he was doing Hurley he kept picturing Grant's "smug handsome face". Now he's probably not the first guy to picture some one else while plugging Hurley's bung hole, but that borders on latent homosexuality.

So they went their separate ways: Grant to a $40 dollar blow job and mug shot, Hurley to Arun. She came to that marriage with a rep, and bill of health, only slightly better than Paris Hilton. Arun's family is very well off so naturally they were less than thrilled about Hurley as an addition to the family. Arun's mom took the news almost as badly as Danny Moder's mom when she learned that her son was doing Julia Roberts. Arun's father disowned him. Since Arun worked in the family business and lived on the family estate, this cramped his style. There's a good woman behind every successful man!

Well that thing has run it's course with the announcement that the Hurley-Nayar marriage has gone tits up. It had a good reason for going tits up too - Hurley is allegedly cheating with Aussie cricketer Shane Warne. For those unfamiliar with Warne he looks like a big meatball with spiky blond hair and an orange rub on tan. Think of him as a grown up Bart Simpson on steroids! So it's lucky for Hurley that she managed to bag him before Katie Jordan Price snapped him up. Liz has her hooks firmly in though - it's been reported that the odd couple spent the night together in London's Bently Hotel! The good news is that Nayar can now move out of the dog house and back into the family home!

Wonder Woman dumped?

That brings us to Megan Gale and Andy Lee. They're kind of a big deal Downunder. Megan was almost a big deal all over, since she was cast to play Wonder Woman in a now defunct film project that also was to feature Common as Green Lantern. Apart from that she was best known as a runway model and David Jones spokesperson, until Miranda Kerr got her job. Not that Miranda edged her out. Megan quit convinced that Wonder Woman was gonna be her ticket to movie stardom. Everyone assured her that the project was a go and Megan being unfamiliar with movie people believed them. That was very naive of her. It alos left her at loose ends.

Without much in the way of a career Gale started her own fashion line - Isola. She also got sued over the name since it was similar to another fashion design firm. When she wasn't designing bikini's she was a regular guest host on her boyfriend's popular radio show Hamish & Andy Lee. So you could say that she was in a slump.

It gets worse. Megan is currently about 33. That's not only past your best before date as a fashion model (but don't get me wrong because Gale is till unbelievably gorgeous), but it's running into overtime with your biological clock. Gale made some noise about reproducing, but Andy made more noises about being happy with the current arrangement. So Andy kept grinning as Gale's facial features kept contracting into a tight little knot at the center of her face. Eventually the inevitable happened and Megan cut Lee loose. They made some public statements about still being the best of 'mates', and even cracked wise about Megan being seen kissing Liz Hurley in a glass elevator. It's a relief to know that's a joke since Gale can do way better!

When Dexter gets messy, he gets seriously messy

That brings us to another 2 year bust up. Dexter star Michael C Hall has split from his wife Dexter co star Jennifer Carpenter. They seemed like a good match since they're both Southerners and serious television actors. When Hall got cancer Carpenter nursed him through his illness much the way Loni Anderson nursed Burt Reynolds through his health issues. That had some commenting that Carpenter was a keeper.

Hall wasn't to keep her long. Rumors started circulating about some awful fights between the couple on the Dexter set. The fights supposedly pertained to Hall's supposed cheating with Julia Stiles. So there's a kick in the pants for everyone who still insisted that Hall was a closeted gay. Some reports have Dexter doing Stile since October. Lainey says:

I mentioned yesterday that there are a few more details about one of the recent splits announced in Hollywood this week. Turns out there was someone else: his love interest this season on his tv show. Their chemistry was so crazy and so evident to everyone that writer and producers, seeing it play out on set, actually cranked up their sex scenes to capture it for show. Her career has seen a resurgence since.

Eventually the two fell in love. They were together, very close, at a Halloween party in New York this fall hosted by a famously controversial writer (this isn’t a super important detail) and those who observed them that night are not surprised now that he’s ended it with his wife.

So that has everyone speculating on the future of the series. In particular it has everyone speculating about Carpenter's future with the series. Things are so tense between the estranged couple now that it's practically impossible for them to work together. So if the series is to survive then some one has to go. Since it's unlikely to be Hall, it looks like Carpenter's character Deb Morgan may not survive this season. Just another example of how fucking in the work place can be such a bad career move. It's also an example of how looks and money aren't the answer to life.

Jesse James and Kat Von D Split?

Remember when Jesse James went with Kat Von D? That was after he humiliated his ex wife - America's Sweetheart and Oscar Winner Sandra Bullock. Jesse cheated on Sandy with a bevy of tattooed white power sex fetish chicks. Naturally people were disgusted and wanted Bullock to dump James ass, and the rest of him, asap. They didn't have to wait long to get their wish.

So when Kat Von D announced her hook up with rebounding James people were ambivalent. ON the one hand they thought that the gruesome twosome were a perfect match. KVD is heavily tattooed. She has also had a brush with white power. During her reality TV days she sent her Jewish boss a hate filled racially charged e mail, which she later denied sending, and even later admitted to bu claimed that she didn't mean it. The back story on that is KVD was working for a guy called Ami James on Miami Ink. James is off the Jewish persuasion - although it's not clear who persuaded him. He and Kat had a falling out, so Kat left to do her own think. however she left James a little something to remember her by:



That's Kat - thinking with her heart instead of using her head. Anyway the combination of racism and body art, not to mention the general sleaze factor, seemed to make her the Jesse James dream girl. They did seem to have so much in common what with being fringe culture border line personality types.

On the other hand they didn't think that it was appropriate for James to be bouncing back into the arms of love, or whatever, so soon. He seemed to have skipped the whole penance period. It's not that anyone considered Kat Von D to be any great prize, except for those who never out grew their heavy metal stage. It's just that people objected to JJ being happy so soon after making everyone else so uncomfortable and Sandy Bullock so unhappy. After all he basically ruined her Oscar night!

Well never fear. Things seemed to have worked out - if not for the best then at least 'worked out". KVD seems to have moved on from JJ. She's recently been spotted out and about with other fringe types with borderline personalities (Not Mel Gibson - recent bad experiences have left him gun shy). That doesn't mean that she and JJ are dunzo. Kat gets around and there's plenty to go around. However it doesn't look good for the love birds. Now that the publicity factor has worn off there's not a lot that JJ can do for KVD. He's a failed reality TV star and presently fading too fast to even be worthwhile tabloid fodder. So KVD has every reason to move on. If it can happen to Dave & Courtney it can happen to anyone (Arquette might have been more interesting if he'd cheated with tattooed neo nazi porn stars then revealing that Cox just got tired of being his mom - the mom fetish might have been fun in Mrs. Robinson with Anne Bancroft and Dustin Hoffman, but in real life it's a creepy drag!). Anyone except Demi & AShton - they're in love and they don't care who knows it!



So that should provide closure for almost everyone. Everyone except those anticipating an eventually JJ - KVD reality TV show, and poor Sandra Bullock. However even she might be getting a second shot at love. If the rumours are true Sandy is considering hooking up with the one person with whom she shares so much in common: public image, career trajectory, and unfortunate love life - none other than Jennifer Aniston! Naw, that last part ain't true - but imagine if it were!

Courteney Cox and David Arquette Split

David Arquette & Courtney Cox have had a good run. They met on the set of Scream and have been married for 11 years. However you can't fight the law of averages, even in, or especially in, Hollywood. Representatives of the couple have ann0unced that they were officially separated. In fact they have been living apart for a few months now.

"We have agreed to a trial separation that dates back for some time," the duo said in a statement. "The reason for this separation is to better understand ourselves and the qualities we need in a partner and for our marriage. We remain best friends and responsible parents to our daughter and we still love each other deeply. As we go though this process we are determined to use kindness and understanding to get through this together."

"We are comfortable with the boundaries that we have established for each other during this separation and we hope that our friends, family, fans and the media also show us respect, dignity, understanding and love at this time as well."

Cox & Arquette have weathered the usual celebrity relationship crises of counseling, addiction, speculation, and and the fishbowl life style. They seemed to be staying the course and settling into a relatively stable long term partnership. Now news is breaking that Arquette has been cheating and that's what busting things wide open.

Rumour has it, and by rumour I mean that there are pictures - that Arquette has gotten cozy with a hot new chick. She's cocktail waitress Jasmine Waltz, and here are those incriminating photos by way of TMZ!

There now, wasn't that special? It ain't anything that Demi Moore hasn't - probably - turned a blind eye to on numerous occasions. Then again Demi hasn't had her nose rubbed in it tabloid style. That's adds a whole new dimension to disgrace; as Brett Farve could attest to! (BTW the latest on Demi, Ashton, and their beautiful relationship is that they are planning on adopting a baby to prove that there's no truth to the cheating rumours and that they are happier and stronger together than ever! It's not so much a fix it baby as a prove it baby, and so is another prospective celebrity entering Utopia with an inauspicious start.)

In fact numerous gossip blind items have had both Cox and Arquette in an open marriage, with Cox freely bedding her Cougar Town co stars. According to the blinds Arquette knew and was okay with it, since he was getting around himself. It was one of those "If you don't care I don't care" arrangements that have kept European marriages intact for centuries. It was all very sophisticated, until the story leaked. Then thing changed cause the cover on the phony act got blown. Now that "understanding" is an embarrassment to both stars, but especially to aging Courtney.

"We're not having sex, and I completely understand," Arquette, 39, said. "She's in a place of wanting to be real and emotional. She's an emotional being. She's an amazing woman. If it doesn't feel right, she doesn't feel like bonding in that way."

Now this story is still developing. Arquette, the cheater, is also the one most willing to reconcile. He phoned in Howard Stern's Sirius satellite radio show to try and set the record straight by spinning it to his tune. According to Arquette's version Cox stopped having sex with him while they were shooting Scream 4. The separation was also her idea. She came up with that on their 11th wedding anniversary. Her rationale was that she was tired of being Arquette's "mother".

Arquette is also eager to reconcile. He told Stern that Cox was the most amazing person that's he's ever met. He insists also that he did not cheat on Cox, except 'technically' with Waltz. It's the old 'sure we were married but we were also separated, so it doesn't count' loophole. He tales some responsibility for the bust himself - sort off. He acknowledges Cox complaints about his immaturity with "I totally get that!". He also acknowledges that the separation will give him the time he needs at 46 to mature and grow up.

What is clear is that he wants Cox to stick around. Not because he's so hot for her. They haven't done the deed in over 4 months by his own Howard Stern admission. Basically he needs her because she's his only claim to a public profile. Most people who know of Arquette -that is those who do know about him - know him as "the guy that chick from Friends married, you know the comedian". Now Courtney barely has a public image; what she has is 'old times sake' nostalgia. All that Arquette has is that reflected glory. So if they split he's less than nowhere and possibly less than Jesse James - who was at least interesting in his own right. So this relationship is worth fighting for, more so in these economic times. That leaves the rest of us asking how interesting these 2 otherwise uninteresting people might get. Damn it - I hope that this isn't a build up to a reality TV series!

Love, crazy, & Tila Tequila

fame means being the last one to know

"Love can be crazy sometimes" according to Vivica Fox. Vivica should know since she's dating club promoter Slimm. Not that Slimm sounds particular crazy. In fact he can be oddly business like in affairs of the heart, which may sounds crazy to the romantics out there.

"don't take this personally - but get lost"

The odd business like part is Slimm's recent dumping of Vivica by memo. Slimm recently publication released a memo announcing that he and Vivica were no longer together. Trouble is that this was the first Viv had heard about it. So basically she got dumped by general release memo. Maybe it would be less humiliating if she tried thinking of it as a 'romantic cut back'.

love is never having to say you're sorry by a memo

Anyway Slimm releases another memo the next day taking back the dumping. In other words he announced that he and Viv were back together. No word on what was behind the sudden flip flop. Perhaps the memo wasn't supposed to go out until next week? Love is never being the last one to know - though fame usually means that.

celebrity nuisance attacked by enraged mob

In other news Tila Tequila got the shit beat out of her. Tila was playing at some event called A Gathering of Juggaloos - which sounds like some kind of low end Lalapalooza. AS soon as Tila went out on stage to perform the shit hit - literally. Tila claims that fans got enraged and started pulling portapotties apart so that they could heave shit at her. Then they started throwing bottles, bricks, and anything they could lift and hurl in her general direction.

Here's Tila's account of the Battle at Faygo:

"I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the shit out of the port-0-potty and threw shit and piss at me when I was onstage."

These people were trying to kill me. So then after the last blow to my head with the firecracker they threw at me exploded, my bodygaurd and the other security grabbed me and ran as fast as they could to the shitty trailor. Since their security SUCKS, the 2 thousand people ran after us, trying to kill me. They almost got me so they finally reach the trailor, blood all over myself, cant stop bleeding, then all of a sudden, all 2 thousand people surround the trailor and busts the windows!!! Even the guys INSIDE with me were shaking! Their hands were shaking cuz they were so scared! So 3 guys inside the trailor had to grab a table and push it over the broken windows and grabbed all the chairs they could find so hold the people from outside back. It was scary as hell!"

The security - which Tila describes as "shitty" - finally got it together and hustled her off the stage Then, in a - "I swear I thought turkeys could fly" moment, a crowd of 2000 pursued Tila and her 3 security guards to a trailer they had sought refuge in. The enraged mob then started smashing windows and trying to push the walls in. Meanwhile Team Tila sat shaking inside. Now that's more or less the first hand story that Tequila gave to TMZ, and other celebrity web sites. Police are confirming that something bad nearly went down - but won't give details. This does give Tila something to blog about over @ OMGMissTila. Like PerezHilton, Tila not only brings you the news but is often actively involved in the story.

Is Mel Gibson a drunken woman beater?

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Mel Gibson went his separate way from tart de jour Oksana Grigorieva people asked "What took him so long?" People also wondered whether there might not be more to it. Celebs aren't known for coming to their sense, at least not without extensive and repeated stays in rehab. Also Grigorieva was dropping some heavy hints along the lines of "The truth will come out" and "You'll see". If you love it when gold digging tramps start talking about he truth then you're gonna dig what comes next. Oksie claims that Mel Gibson is a drunken brute who beat he face off her!

The first assigns that this might not have been an amicable split was when word leaked that Gibson had filed a restraining order against Oksie. Mel's people filed off the usual bullshit press release claiming that Mel and Oksie were still bosom buds, and that they planned to raise their child jointly. Oksie was soon to call his drunken bigoted ass on that publicly!

Oksie claimed that she was the one who filed for a restraining order. She insists that Mel needed restraining because he was extremely violent. OG says that Mel beat her up in a drunken fit - perhaps about the Jews - during which he broke her teeth and gave her a concussion. Oksie says that she filed the restraining order, out of fear for her well being; and that Mel counter filed in an attempt to get access to his alleged love child.

Oksana did plenty of talking too. At first she didn't say too much. She gave an interview to TMZ in which she played coy. When asked about the alleged beating she insisted that she couldn't talk about it. There was a custody issue at stake and her lawyers told her not to talk about it. There were other things that she did want to talk about. She's "doing great" for instance. Oh yeah and there's also her alleged music career. Holding on to those unrealistic pipe dreams just shows such a great attitude!

She was to be less closed lipped with TMZ a little later. In a subsequent interview Oksie claimed that Mel beat her up badly back in January. That must've been the time Jodie Foster wanted him to do that flick with the beaver. Such humiliation mist be enough to send any A List ego into meltdown.

The wrinkle in the story is that Oksie stayed with Sugar Daddy after the alleged incident. Sources close to Mel Gibson (perhaps some one named Bugdoll, who likes to post semi literate gibberish on various Internet message boards?) have pointed that out claiming it's proof positive that the bitch made it up. Oksie got an answer for that though: she stayed for a little while cause she loved him. If she's the one who got the concussion then why does she talk like we're the ones with brain damage?

Naturally Mel can explain this away. He admits that there was some physical contact back in January, but it was justified. According to Mel they were all hanging out around the pool back in Jan. when Oksie started acting up. She grabbed young Lucia - the child who might be Mel's though David Foster ain't off that paternity hook either - and ran around the back of the house. She then threw herself, baby and all, down on the ground. She proceeded to get up, run inside, and then shake the baby like a rag doll. Perhaps remembering all those 'shaken baby syndrome' stories, Mel figured it was appropriate to lay the smack down on that sorry bitch's ass - though Mel would describe it more diplomatically as "some physical contact".

Now Mel insists that everything was copacetic after that. Oksie went traveling with him. When they eventually split Mel stayed over at her Russian pad looking after Lucia while Oksie continued to beat the dead horse which is her musical career. Oksie mom even sent the body guards away so father and daughter could enjoy some quality time together! However Oksie started thinking that maybe joint custody wasn't such a hot idea. She filed for a restraining order keeping Mel at least 100 yards away from either her or her daughter. She wouldn't even let Gibson spend Father's Dad with l'il Lucia. What's more, Oksie's claiming that she's got the goods on Mel by way of tape recorded conversations! Since the tapes were made without Mel's consent or knowledge a judge has ordered them sealed, and Oksana gag ordered to prevent her from talking about them. Knowing Oksana though, we'll probably be hearing a lot more soon. She seems like a tough one to keep gagged.

voodoo videos

That sad thing is that all this drama is keeping mel from his important research into Freemasonry & the occult. Considering that Hollywood is rotten with occultism, the world really needs Mel and his drunken outlandish conspiracism now more than ever. Well mel has got his hands full so it's up to the rest of us - you & me - to be extra vigilant so that those Hollywood sorcerers don't manage to pull the wool over our eyes. You can begin to be more vigilant by keeping up on Tila Tequila's daring anti Illuminati posts over @ MissTilaOMG, and by watching the following short but startling videos!

Hollywood Insiders: Full Disclosure 1/8 from Going Etheric on Vimeo.

3 of 8 Fallen Angels(Occult Symbolism in Film) from Going Etheric on Vimeo.

5 of 8 Fallen Angels(New World Order movies) from Going Etheric on Vimeo.

Of course witch craft is one of the more mundane threats we face. Coming soon the ET angle - look for our Wondertrash entitled simply UFO!

UFO from rama on Vimeo.

In tastiest hyperboles

UFO - Episode 10

Deleted User | MySpace Video
Just remember that no one quits SHADO - that's why they spend billions on security and zero on on retirement benefits!

Oprah Fights With Gayle King; Goes Back To Stedman

In what might be a Lindsay Lohan Samantha Ronson scene without the drugs, cops, rehab, ambulances, and SWAT teams; Oprah Winfrey and long time 'companion' Gayle King have had a falling out. By falling out I mean that Gayle actually uttered the words "I hate you" out loud and to Oprah's face.

the fall out from the falling out

No words on that caused the falling out. However the usual unnamed sources claim that their relationship is now hanging by the shred of a thread. Further more there's some really nasty side stories developing. Gayle King is getting super sucky with the Obama family lately. Not for the usually reasons: influence, status, etc. She knows that Oprah covets the Obama connection and this is Gayle's way of sticking it to her long time friend.

steady with Steadman - Steadman as she goes

Meanwhile Oprah has a trick up her own sleeve. She's apparently back with Steadman Graham. The 6'4" motivational speaker has been spotted coming out of the woodwork and back into Oprah's life. For those unfamiliar with the Steadman back story he's a big good looking ex football type and self made multi millionaire; he's also a constant reminder to the world that no man is good looking or successful enough to deserve Oprah. That kinda worked the way Gabriel Aubry was supposed to rmeind the world that no man is good looking or successful enough for Halle Berry (and did she give him a hard time about that too!). The one difference being that Halle managed to get down off her high horse long enough to get knocked up, once.

Oprah's self made family & friends with benefits

Now it should be stated that Oprah has never ever officially 'come out of the closet'. Oprah has maintained that as far as the world needs to know Steadman is some guy she likes taking out dancing and on vacation, while Gayle is some chick who spends a lot of time in Oprah's home, when they're not sharing hotel rooms for professional purposes (King has some kind of unofficial position with HARPO).

Official counter spin aside the 2 grown women who formerly couldn't get enough of each other are currently carrying on like a pair of high schoolers having a 'spat'. The obvious conclusion - it's okay if Gayle hates Oprah. She'll be back in the picture soon 'cause she knows shit. Besides, if Oprah really want to cheese King off she wouldn't be back with Steadman, she'd be palling up to good friend Ellen DeGeneres. There seems to be a certain low key middle aged chemistry between those two, in an officially not gay way that is.

Wondertrash thought of the day:

photo courtesy of Roger Ebert via twitpic

gettin' centered

Love the toilet paper in the bottom right of the picture - what more of an impression of existence do you need? Possibly a few stains would've been not only an indication of existence but a sign of life, too. Gossip is also a way of making those impressions. It's part of the reason celebrities like being talked about: existential angst. Well it's either that or sheer immature self centeredness. Now go out there and exchange that self centeredness for contentedness!

Bombshell Speaks

The Gorilla and the Bombshell

Michelle Bombshell McGee is best known as the heavily tattooed neo Nazi stripper who blew Sandra Bullock's world apart only days after her Oscar win. Now she didn't do that by exploding - her name is only a figure of speech. She did her damage by screwing Sandy's grease monkey hubby Vanilla Gorilla, better known as Jesse James.

a fucking idiot fucking an idiot - which is which?

A lot came out about Jesse via Bombshell, such as he likes sleazy broads, he's into the White Power trip (I wonder if he knows Mel Gibson and Michael Richards, and more importantly does Morgan Freeman want his e mail address back. Maybe Sandy's slightly patronizing Oscar night quip about that was another figure of speech?), and he collects Nazi memorabilia. Oh yeah and most importantly that James is a fucking idiot. Much of this reflected badly on Ms Bombshell.

the grass is always greener over the septic tank

Now Bombshell wants to set the record straight by cleaning the slate, or vice versa. The most important thing she wants to get clear to the public is that she didn't do it. More to the point she did do it but she didn't know that she was doing it. If she'd known what she was doing then she'd never have done it. Oh well, that's what we all say. To be concise McGee claims that she thought Gorilla and Mrs Gorilla were dunzo before she got anywhere near the scene of the crime.

now that we've been intimate, lets get personal!

There are a few other things that McGee wants the world to know about her, She's a Sandra Bullock fan, she's not a Nazi, she's a sweet nice person that comes off 'rough' in picture (you got that damn straight. I've seen things run over on the highway that looked like they had less mileage on 'em!), and most importantly she's not that horrible Katvond. Oh yeah, and she's gonna whip that porn star's ass in that slutslugfest that's been set up. Here's Michelle Bombshell McGee to explain herself for herself!



It's finally safe for Tonya Harding to go out in public again!



Coming soon to Wondertrash: America's most frightening reality TV family are getting ready to invade your living room!

pic courtesy of Dr Zaius - no relation to Vanilla Gorilla


They not only know how to handle heavy caliber firearms, but they've also got talent to burn. You ought a see their music video - #1 with the bullet!

lovers, liars, & clowns

The celebrities have taken time out from their PETA photo ops to converge on Washington. This happens very so often, and usually when celebs get some big ideas about making a difference. That often happens during elections and when some hi profile but otherwise inconsequential piece of legislation is getting kicked around.

This time it the convergence was harmless. It was for the White House Correspondent's Dinner - in other words a political non event. It's a win-win situation: Celebs get to see and be seen among the politico and 'respectable' journalists, plus the chances of them doing any harm by trying to sway public opinion is minimal.



I hear that the Pres got a ton of laughs. Now that's not a distinction. George Bush got tons of laughs to. The difference being that we were laughing at Bush and not with him.

People are still speculating about what caused the split between Halle Berry & Gabriel Aubry. Both parties are being tight lipped and playing it close to the vest. So far the only public statements sound like vows at a commitment ceremony - "we're special people who will always love each other", etc.



The only definite info in the story is that Halle dumped Aubry. Apparently he was going through some sort of mid life crisis and that made Halle feel awkward about her age or something.

Age is a touchy issue in Follywood and the glitterati can't start fending off the ravages of age - and their fast lane lifestyle - soon enough. Take Heidi Montag for instance. Though not yet 30, she's had a ton of plastic surgery. Some said that it was completely unnecessary while Hedi felt that it made her feel better. Beauty is confidence as those relentless TV ads say.

When asked about it by TV chat host Wendy Williams, Montag's The Hills co star Kristin Cavallari decided to hedge the issue completely, rather than resorting to the half truths of TV adverteasing. Watch and learn how to handle a hot potato.



That wasn't so much a hot potato as a live grenade with the pin pulled out. Just glad that no one got hurt in the taping of that segment.

Mean girls

There have been rumors about friction between Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlett Johansson on the set of Ironman. If you were expecting the Ironman hotties to carry on like Kim Possible and Shego then you might be disappointed. Gwyneth, for one, doesn't know what people are talking about. She likes Scarlett just fine, even calling her "a girl after my own heart". Johansson for her part, claims she's picking up style tips from Johansson.



That GOOP must be strong stuff to have pacified the gals' natural bitchiness. One person they might want to get GOOPed would be Supermodel Naomi Campbell. Naomi has some anger issues and especially when she's coked up. She's left more than one assistant battered & bruised, and has a hard time keeping herself in cell phones. They are her weapon of choice when she wants to reach out and touch some body. Naomi will soon be appearing on Oprah to talk about her anger issues, and to sign one of those no texting agreements - her future drivers should be pleased!



Though the episode promises to be revealing don't be too surprised if it just covers old ground. Celebrities can be surprisingly canny when they want to be. Sandra Bullock managed to keep her adoption a secret for 3 months - and that was during Awards season. I'll never know how she managed to pick up her Razzie in person. Also Halle Berry's split from Gabriel Aubry is months old too, though we're just hearing about it:



Halle says through her publicist that she and Aubry are putting their daughter first - translation: Aubry wasn't good enough for Berry and she hopes that she's made him cry.

Wondertrash thought of the day: Remember that gossip is only second hand news.

Tom Cruise is in the news

Wondertrash - chewing the fat through thick & thin

It depends what you mean by gay...

The National Enquirer has a provocative cover this week. While the issue contains no definitive proof that Tom Cruise is now or ever has been gay, it does take aim at Sci, based on a new book by defector Amy Scobee. First Scobee tackles the gay rumors, claiming that they were made up by imprisoned Hollywood PI Anthony Pellicano. According to Scobee, Pellicano was in the habit of making up rumors about his celeb clientele and then running to them with offers to fix the problem.

... and by lies!

The new book says that the gay rumors really broke Tom up. He even had to have a heart to heart with Katie Holmes about them. Tom confided his secret anguish to the lady in his life. He told Ms. Cruise that the gay talk was "a pack of lies". Katie was shocked and had never heard the stories. I had no idea Dawson's Creek was so far off the beaten path! It must be up in Alaska or something.

High on life, and on auditing

Worse still were the drug rumors. Tom feels that his image was tainted by the stories (though nowadays his image is tainted by much worse). Now the drug rumors are supported in the book. Scobee claims that auditors regularly spill their guts about what goes on in sessions, especially if anything interesting gets dredged up. This goes on to be in church gossip of the Mrs. Rev. Lovejoy variety. According to Scobee she got it from a very high source (David Miscavige's wife Shelly) that Tom was turned down for Seeorg due to past drug use. Ms Miscavidge goes on to say that pot or coke wouldn't be enough to disqualify you.

The walls have ears and the spies have eyes

Shelly had even more to say to Scobee. Ms Miscavige at one point confessed that there was a gay sex tape on the loose featuring one of the Church's most prominent spokespersons. Now that's not necessarily Tom. John Travolta does a lot of work for Sci, and has been known to enjoy a kiss on the mouth from attractive men, who are often in his employ! Anyway Shelly gets herself all upset and finally exclaims "we had to do something about that man!" Scientology regards homosexuality as a disease, like alcoholism or Tourette's Syndrome.

may the force be with you

The plot thickens. Scobee goes on to reveal that everyone in Tom Cruise's household, from the lord chamberlain down to the court jester, is also working for Miscavige as spies. Naturally the staff reports back to Darth Vader, who is their real boss of bosses. As a result Davey Boy knows everything about everything about the Cruise's.

To boldly go

No question that Tom is a star in the Scientology galaxy. His former auditor Mark Rathbun, has become officially the second highest person in the organization (de jure that is, Tom is de facto). Mark was even assigned the touchy Nicole Kidman situation. Apparently Miscavige was no fan of Nicole and made Rathbun point man on the divorce, to get it done. Well no organized religion is all bad. Rathbun has confirmed this in his own words (as written for him by David Miscavige - we know that no one in Scientology would break wind without his permission): “in 2001 through 2003 Miscavige personally assigned me as Inspector General RTC – the second highest ecclesiastical position in the religion – to coordinate Tom’s divorce from Nicole and to serve as his auditor.”

very interesting

So it seems like Ms. Scobee's book is gonna be even more interesting than Kitty Kelley's Oprah bio. Now the book is called Scientology: Abuse at the Top. You might want to keep a look out for it at your local bookstore. Meanwhile here are some more interesting related links:

Anthony Pellicano

Tom Cruise’s lawyer has responded

confessions

Charlie does Klinger

Meanwhile it looks like Charlie Sheen has managed to get clear of his drug addicted wife Brooke Mueller, and without the help of David Miscavige! The pair were back and forth following their Christmas Day altercation. An impasse had developed where Charlie wanted Brooke to drop the charges and go away, while Brooke wanted to stay around and help Charlie collect his $20 mill.

Joke's on Brooke

Sometimes the best way out of a stalemate is not an ultimatum but a good old fashioned game of chicken. Charlie started saying that he was gonna quit 2 1/2 Men cause he no longer gave a damn. Bye bye $20 mill! Then he shaved his head and started walking around in pajama bottoms to show he was crazy enough to mean it. He even posed for paparazzi while holding up his InTouch issue entitled Dumbest Disguise Ever. He was grinning ear to ear.

Do short cuts get you anywhere in the long run?

Brooke probably couldn't take the embarrassment any more. A genuine sense of humor is always worrying to earnest game players. So much so that it's often mistaken for insanity. Soulless Morlocks just don't get humor - their minds are too tactical. Fortunately this got clued up before Chuck started wearing dresses and bed wetting and then talking to TMZ about it.

Reverse spin = no spin? Is spin in the eyes of the beholder?

Now a South Park update. As you'll recall the producers got themselves into some hot water with another swipe at organized religion. Now FOX News (Is "FOX News" becoming oxymoronic? That's a step up from moronic I guess) has come to their defense, sort of. FOX has not so much come to their defense, or even the defense of free speech in general, as they have taken the opportunity to make a point about their favorite pet peeve - liberals. It is FOX, so you know what to expect.