Paris Hilton prosecutor busted in coke deal

Paris Hilton is a gal who gets in and out of trouble. Like Lindsay Lohan she usually gets away with it. Usually it's because she always lands on her feet. Sometimes one of her 9 lives comes in handy. Then there are those other occasions when her deal with darkness must be responsible. Like lately.

Paris has a fondness for the kind of party favours that you can't get at your local 5 & dime variety store - not unless there's a twitchy homeless guy standing right outside the door. These are the kind of party favours that can get you in a bit of trouble with the law. Trouble is what Paris got when she got nabbed with a significant amount of cocaine in a purse she later claimed wasn't hers - even though it had all her ID in it. Naturally Paris had to go off for another one of those smashing mugshots of hers. She was then set free to continue with her own special brand of celebrity mayhem!

As usual when Ms. Hilton is involved things can take strange and unexpected turns. Like in this case. Paris was tried for her hard partying ways by a Las Vegas prosecutor named David Charles Schubert, 47. In fact he's more than a prosecutor - he's a chief deputy DA. He's no stranger to publicity either since he also threw the book at Bruno Mars over his cocaine related misdoings. So he's had some previous experience with drug busts and the kind of bad PR they can bring. No previous experience could've prepared him for what was about to happen - though he really should've known.

Seems that Dave was out and about, on the street as it were, when he ran into an old acquaintance. Never one to breeze past one of the little people Dave stopped to pass the time of day. One thing lead to another and pretty soon the chief deputy DA was making a drug deal. By drug deal I mean that the dude was buying crack.

Now there's no shame in that. Chief Deputy DA is a rough job high on demands and with tons of pressure. You're only as good as your last win because those hungry jaws poised just above you on the food chain are expecting results and not excuses. So sometimes having something that gives you a little added edge - like Popeye with his spinach - makes everyone happy. Everyone except for the poor buggers who get sent to the klink!

It's a victimless crime and if no body sees it then no body gets mad. However in this case the aforementioned David Charles Schubert made a whopper of a mistake - he did let some one see him do it. The person who saw this dirty little deed go down was probably the worst person in the world to be standing near by when you're buying dope off of a street dealer - and that's and undercover cop! According to the Las Vegas Review Journal -

Schubert was arrested by a Las Vegas police patrol officer about 4:51 p.m. near Desert Inn Road and Maryland Parkway.

The patrol officer saw what he thought was a drug transaction and stopped Schubert's vehicle near Sierra Vista Drive and Cambridge Street, police said.

The result was that Schubert was whisked off to the very same facility that Hilton and Mars were taken to, and for much the same treatment: finger printing, mugshot, and I assume strip search followed by anal cavity exam. Officers of the court need to be held to higher standards so we don't want anyone thinking he got off easy by slipping something up his sleeve, or up anything else!

So far Schubert is being cooperative - a really aggressive anal cavity exam will to that to you. However that attitude is a little after that fact. Since he got caught red - or white -handed, the prosecutors are going at him. His boss DA David Roger is particularly disappointed. He expressed his disapproval in the following terms:

"It's disheartening to know the individual who I assigned to prosecute high-level drug cases is allegedly using rock cocaine. His future is bleak with the district attorney's office."

I haven't heard such strong language since the last time I brought home a report card! The fact that Schubert was named to a high level Las Vegas anti drug task force probably heightens the disappointment. No one wants to think about a fox guarding the hen house scenario!

Not everyone is appalled and disgusted with this so called law enforcement officials sleazy shenanigans. Schubert's erstwhile adversary - the Red Baron to his Snoopy - has spoken out in support of the disgraced, and by now tweaking like crazy, prosecutor. David Chesnoff is a hi profile Vegas attorney who's crossed words with Schubert in both the Hilton and Mars cases. Chesnoff had this to say about his fallen adversary!

"I'm a big believer in the Constitution. I believe everyone is innocent until proven guilty. And I always root for the underdog. I will say this: David's always been a real professional and always treated me with respect, so I wish him the best."

Well there you go - trouble comes when you least suspect it and you find friends where you never thought to look. That ought'a do as a moral to this sad and sorry cautionary tale. That is unless you wanna make something out of it like - LEGALIZE DRUGS ALREADY! Then again others like a more traditional moral like "Men who live in glass house better not throw rocks - even if they're rocks of cocaine". As for myself, I'll go for something more common sense and nonjudgmental, like "Make sure that your own nose is clean before you go sticking it into other people's business!. Unless you're an entertainment blogger that is - then go for it!

Celebrity Outrage Mania!

Wonky Willie - more nuts than chocolate!

Usually Awards season marks a lull in celebrity shenanigans. Everyone is on their best behavior because no one wants to fuck up and forfeit their invitation to the prom. Getting jammed up prior to the Oscars and losing your Golden Ticket could mean instant demotion to the D List (Just like Chris Brown about this time last year. If you're you're gonna mess up at least wait until after the ceremonies, like Sandra Bullock ex Jesse James. Last year's Oscars are gonna be a tough act to follow!). So everyone tries to put their best foot forward at all times. That means sucking it in until the season passes so they can get back to their normal bad behavior. Usually that is, but this season seems to be a bit of an exception.

Hornet's Nest

Maybe it was Tom Cruise's controversial announcement that the Oscars don't really matter that shook everyone loose but we're getting some alearming reports of celebrity outrage mania coming out of the thirty mile zone. Reports like those concerning Edward Furlong. You might remember him from Terminator 2. People predicted a great future for him but then he got mixed up in drugs of the crystal meth variety, Now that stuff not only messes up you face real bad but can make your career and life unmanageable. So Furlong had a sort of hiatus for awhile. in this case hiatus means he became as unemployable as Lindsay Lohan (a sure Oscar night absentee, even if she ain't in rehab or wearing a scram bracelet on the night).

That hiatus recently ended when Furlong was cast in The Green Hornet. Hornet is an anticipated film so it's good work for a promising actor trying to get back on track. Unfortunately some old baggage came back to haunt him. Furlong has had a tempestuous relationship with his ex wife Rachel Kneeland. By tempestuous I mean that the police often have to mediate between the pair. mediation has lead to a restraining order. In fact the terms of the order require Furlong to stay at least 100 yards away from Kneeland at all times. To put that in perspective they could attend the same football game but only of they're seated in opposite end zones.

Furlong decided to do an end run around the restraining order recently, at least according to the ex. While he'd didn't go for a touch down, he did get within the 50 yard line. So that was a technical foul and lead to the troubled young actor getting carted off by the cops and then locked up on 75 000 bail! That's a lot of money for some one who's last major role was as robot Schwarzenegger's teen aged side kick, and who spend the time since then burning up his earnings through little glass pipes! It couldn't have happened at a worse time either - the arrest happened with in 24 hours of Furlong attending a special Green Hornet premier. The actual violation occurred about a month back so that makes the timing sound like a case of revenge being served cold, or at least chilled.Oh the humiliation!

If there's a bit of spite involved it shouldn't be too surprising. Furlong and Kneeland, who also goes under the name Rachel Bella, had a real bad bust up. During the divorce Kneeland claimed that Furlong had started to lose his grip on reality after his drug use escalated out of proportion. She claimed that he beat her up, threatened her life frequently, and also became psychotic and suicidal. Oh yeah and she had him committed to a psych ward at one point. Plus a lot of creepy phone message by Furlong for Kneeland have got released along the way. They concern Furlong's son Ethan by Kneeland and swear bloody reprisals against Kneeland's current boyfriends should they get anywhere near the lad. Bloody reprisals in this case mean an enraged and drugged up Furlong threatening to tear things out and open things up in the grievous bodily harm vein!

Now Furlong's reps were claiming that he'd been clean and sober of 5 years. those kind of assurances no doubt helped his career back on track. Now it looks like the poor fellow's demons are making a reappearance, if not a full blown sequel. They've reappeared at the worst time too, just as his Green Hornet project was being hyped up. So it looks like he might be due for another long painful hiatus. At the very least he's blown his shot at an official Oscar invite. He should still be eligible for some unofficial Oscar night activities though. I'm sure for instance that he could get into Charlie Sheen's Oscar party!

Child star fuck ups are becoming an epidemic in America. Then again outrageous child behaviour is becoming epidemic. The USA seems to be a culture that has list control of it's youth, or at least that's what the Simpsons would have us believe, back in that episode where the Commonwealth of Australia wanted to boot Bart in the bum (They'd never have gotten away with razzing the Aussies like that if they weren't owned by the same fellow who has a controlling interest in Australia - FOX TV's Rubert Morlock!). If some of the more outrageous reportage is to be beleived America youth a running whild in the streets as behaviour modifying medications fail to curb their antisocial tendencies, or improve their grades.

So what could be the answer? Well boot camps seem to have had some positive results - if reality Tv is to be believed. If that can help the larger issue of youthful high spiritedness, maybe it could do something for the specific problem of child stars run amok! Considering how the system has failed Lindsay Lohan (not to mention Mischa Barton) it might certainly be worth a try. It could also lead to a whole new series of Celeb Rehab type spin offs in which belligerent child actors are sent off to TV boot camps to have their spirits broken. We can't be sure what such series might be like, but they would surely be watchable, and might even turn out something like this!



Perhaps the problem of out of control youth seems worse than it is. Nowadays we know everything, thanks to the Internet. So the minute some child star goes of the rails we get the gory details. Then we wax nostalgic for the good old days when Opie said the darnedest things but never got out of line. If you only knew half the shit Shirley Temple was into, it might put things in a whole new perspective! Then again you never hear about the child stars who keep their noses clean and stay on track - like this fellow:

American Gothic's Lucas Black - Sorcerer's Apprentice

Down in Trinity South Carolina Sheriff Buck ("That's Buck with a 'B'!") raises kids right, even if that takes a dose of black magic! The complete American Gothic series is available over @ Fancast.com!

Lindsay Lohan: On the Bubble, Again

repeat offender

"What in the fuck is wrong with Lindsay Lohan?" That's what the celebrity gossip world is asking after the young actress flunked yet another court mandated drug test. Since last night's wondertrash post, the exact substance of concern has been made known and it is none other than cocaine. Lindsay herself admitted this via Twitter. She made a brief 140 character statement owning up to her latest misdeed. In addition to admitting that she was on coke, she also owned up to having a problem. Now that's not saying much; and admitting the obvious may merely be an attempt to preserve some credibility after all other options have been exhausted.

A little Michael Lohan goes a long way

That brings us back to the question of Lindsay's problem. Her father Michael, as usual, has an opinion. He claims that if he'd been in her life after her release from jail/rehab, none of this ever would have happened. That raises another good question; 'where the hell was he?' not only post release, but in the half dozen or so years previous. The short answer to that is in and out of jail on various charges from fraud to assault. On second thought less of Michael Lohan might be better than more.

go to your room!

There's also the opinion that since the courts have been notoriously easy on Lindsay, she's got no motivation to straighten out. These DUI related charges have been getting recycled through the legal system for years now - ever since Lindsay first started going off the rails circa 2007. Back then she smashed up several luxury sedans and pricey cars - 3 in a matter of months - before finally getting nailed. That got dismissed pending her completion of some court ordered self help work. Lindsay either did the minimum required, or skipped completely, so that she was required to appear before court again and again, for more stern talking to's. No matter how many times she was told to go and think about what she'd done, she never got around to changing her ways.

a bad case of celebrity personality disorder?

Finally there's the expert opinion, from celebrity observer Will Lee. In discussion with ABC News he hits on something that wondertrash regulars will have known all along. Let's call it the obvious. According to Mr. Lee, Lindsay problem is that she's an actress, and they're a fucked up breed. Worse for Lohan she's been an actress since childhood (which is better at least than being born one like poor Drew Barrymore). That's a serious condition, similar to Cameron Douglas style pre adolescent drug addiction. In other words she became conditioned to a life of play acting and make believe.

blame Hollywood

Added to the general lose of touch with reality is the Follywood milieu which not only supports but encourages a high degree of immaturity. As Mr Lee calls it " A perpetual summer camp without adult supervision". Follywood denizens are encouraged to live the dreams and take it to the limit, as far as their hearts desire. So the town ain't in the business of telling people "no". Here's Mr Lee to describe the situation in his own words:

next role - Jerri Blank!

Mr. Lee seems to be a very articulate and insightful gentleman (he must be a wondertrash reader!). He covers the essential points too: errant father, enabling mother, lax legal system, Follywood lifestyle. So the simple answer is that there's no simple answer to Ms Lohan's woes. Or at least no one answer. It is safe to say that we will be hearing more from her, at least on Twitter if not in a professional capacity!

Starbucks once again safe for the beautiful people!

Speaking of outrages against justice, remember that chick who got doused with acid outside a Vancouver Washington Starbucks? To refresh your memory she was the one who said that a black woman did it. That incident provoked an outpouring of sympathy, and no shortage of racists comments on youtube. It turns out that the whole thing was a hoax. No the woman's face really was damaged with acid, however there was no black woman involved. It turns out that she did it to herself! What could have been her motivation? Here now are some of the usual professional commentators to speculate on the motive to her madness.




"A black person did it!" White folks always fall for that line. BTW regarding the many spelling, grammatical, and syntactical errors on this blog - black computer hackers. A whole gang of them! It's a pack of Steve Urkels abusing their computer skills to mess up my blog and undermine my credibility!

Is it worth it?

the fame problem

These days everyone seems to want their 15 minutes of fame. As Bart Simpson said, when Milhouse wanted to chuck his role as Fall Out Boy in the Radioactiveman film, "It's the duty of every patriotic American to want to be a movie star!" This strange form pf patriotism persists despite the ever growing number of cautionary tales in the from of fallen stars and disgraced celebrities - many of whom have been covered on this very site. Even though the Mel Gibsons, Gary Colemans, Tiger Woods, and countless others have crashed and burned in front of an international audience, others seem willing, and even eager to pay a terrible price to take their place. They seem heedless to the pitfalls of ego tripping and glory hounding.

Slumdog America - sad sequel to success

What are the pit falls? Well you might get e brief taste of glory, and then have it yanked away from you. While you doggedly chase the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you might have to do many embarrassing things for the sake of chasing that dream. Worse still you might have to do these things in front of gawkers who ask you all kinds of humiliating questions like "What the fuck happened to you?" Take the case of the Slumdog Millionaire actress who couldn't walk away from the rat race gracefully, but went on to sell flowers on the street. That's bad enough, but what happens when some paparazzi recognize her and put her on the spot? Now this situation isn't hypothetical, and worse, got recorded on video!



That was so bad, still the paps got to the crucial question "What happened?" In show business shit happens - it's the nature of the business.

George goes Wham, again

It doesn't just hit also rans either. It can claim established winners too. Back in the day George Michael was one of the biggest names in the business. Lady Diana was in love with him, despite the rumors about his homosexuality. He had string of hits, and established himself as a producer par excellence. Then he started getting old, lonely, and irrelevant. That's when he started drugging. Now Michael wasn't discrete in his substance use. He'd get stoned, hop into his car, and then hit something - usually after falling asleep at the wheel.

Naturally this state of affairs couldn't be tolerated for long, even from a celebrity. So the law caught up with the former WHAM front man, and he had to face the music. That resulted in a recent trial in which Michael was sentenced to 6 weeks in prison. When Michael got the bad news he broke down in tears. Sons of bitches like the paparazzi were there to record the sad sorry seen, and other assholes such as myself were quick to repeat the story over the Internet. On that note here's the video coverage of GM.



It's important to always wear sunglasses when you've got it made: it's a way of getting attention by trying to go unrecognized, plus no one can see the tears when you smile for the cameras!

So fame isn't everything it's cracked up to be. Even if you manage to grab and hang onto some attention, you might be unemployable. After OJ Simpson's fall from grace everyone could cash in on him except him. He finally got busted over some sports memorabilia he was trying to sell through a friend who was trying to rip him off. When some other friends convinced him to take a stand on that - it wound up with OJ brandishing a gun in a motel room as the Vegas cops ruched to the scene. They bagged big game that day, in the form of the one that got away.

Your personal tragedies might become common knowledge to. The National Enquirer made a meal out of Annette Funicello's struggle with MS. Sometimes you might even collaborate in your own exploitation. That's what some suspect of the White House Gate Crasher and Real Washington House Wife who recently announced that she has MS.



Surely no one could be far gone enough to get a serious diagnosis and start wondering how they could use it. Some might question whether she's really sick. Most celebrities are sick, but not in that way.

Catcher in the Rye or Scarecrow on the tracks?

So fame really is a dirty dangerous business. It's chewed up and spit out many over the years. My hope in writing Wondertrash is that maybe one aspiring celeb out there will read this, think twice, and turn back to mundane reality. Perhaps that makes me more of a scarecrow than a Catcher in the Rye. Still, asking yourself "Is it worth it?" before it goes too far is a good idea. At least while there's still time to jump off the train. Once it reaches break neck speed, you're stuck on that ride.



Success may not be what it's cracked up to be, especially as currently narrowly defined. In fact I briefly toyed with the idea of starting another organization called PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Actors. It wouldn't work, since unlike animals, actors insist on being exploited.

gambling on divas

It not only costs celebrities, but those who exploit them. As celebs come undone the closer the come to ultimate success, studios and corp. are faced with having to replace valuable assets - in whom much has been invested. A multi million dollar project can be deep sixed if a key man goes Kayne or Chris Brown during production. Imagine casting Russell Crowe in a studio blockbuster, then investing millions in promotion, talking backing out of your corporate superiors, staking your personally reputation as a director or producer on the out come, only to have Russ, or whomever, go nuts and smack some one in public days before the premier. He goes down the tubes and takes you with him!

That raises the question about the future of fame. It maybe be why indie films are getting big. Low investment, minimal over head, with potential major pay off! It's also why networks are going 24/7 reality TV. For Survivor (still around) you only have to assemble a cast of ambitious unknowns and drop them some where. Only the winner gets the million. So that beats paying the cast of Friends 20 million a year each. Every body wins, except for all the ones who lost. The winner might go Richard Hatch - but that's his problem.

my modest proposal

There's another novel solution. Michael Bay got very close in Transfomers (Bay could've sacked the actors, kept the robots, and the flick might've done at least as well), and James Cameron got even closer in Avatar. It's not 3D (leave it to the rest of the industry to miss the point), but using computer simulated animation. Yes, digital celebrity might be the future of fame. Think about it; the messy human factor is eliminated from the bottom line equation. There would be no melt downs, & no fuck ups. Computer sims potentially look better than real actors, they don't age, don't get messy plastic surgery, & don't have agents cause they don't get paid. Plus you can turn them off! Sounds like an ideal solution!



Now that did come off as a little stiff and mechanical, but so do many pro actors. Plus tech development is increasing geometrically. so in a few years there will be no distinguishable difference between the performance of a robot, and a flesh and blood performer like Megan Fox! Of course it might puts rehabs out of business. Then again rehabs failed to teach celebs an important lesson: there is no fulfillment outside one's self.

"You're ready for the bigtime - once we fix your hair and get rid of the cornball costume, you'll have it made!"

is the fast lane a short cut to skid row?

There's no word yet on whether celebrities are going ot be replaced with robots. It would fit with the automation trend - using machines to do work too hazardous for humans. However if it happens, hopefully it will be covered right here. Wondertrash is your total celebrity source, covering the high life from the red carpet all the way to the gutter!

Paris Hilton Busted for Cocaine

more hookery than usual

Seems like Paris Hilton can't stay out of trouble for very long. Just last night she was put cruising on the Las Vegas Strip (and outside outside the Wynn Hotel) when she got pulled over by the cops. Las Vegas' finest observed what they thought was marijuana smoke coming out of the window of Hilton's black Escalande. Now since Hilton probably wasn't participating in a vote by the College of Cardinals - even online - the fuzz felt that they had could grounds to further investigate.

Further investigation revealed that Paris had cocaine on her. Not much cocaine, but just enough for her to be charged with a count of felony possession (class e). In case you're not a regular Law & Order viewer a felony is more serious than a misdemeanor. In fact it's a big league criminal charge! That lead to Paris and her new BFF Cy Waits to get booked into Clarke Country Jail.

Though the charges were serious, Paris skated only a few short hours later, on bail (thanks to lawyer David Chesnoff). She was busted at approximately 11:30 PM. By about 3;30 Am she was back home again and on Twitter. Now she made no Twitter mention of her recent misfortune. She just popped online long enough to tell everyone that she was home, getting ready for bed, and watching Family Guy. Oh yeah, and "xoxox, everyone" from Paris.

As for poor Cy, well he wasn't so fortunate. Even though he's the very man who helped Paris thwart a home invasion by a gun wielding intruder earlier in the week - he didn't get sprung along with Paris. Cy had to wallow in prison under a charge of driving while intoxicated. So whether or not crime pays, we can say that Paris is a poor person to stand next to when lightening strikes. Though she has an excellent raincoat, she doesn't provide much coverage to anyone else.

"the-drugs-weren't-mine" defense

BTW Paris already has a fantastic alibi that might even make an unlikely legal defense. The coke was found in her purse, and she claims that the purse isn't hers. This is the same defense she used earlier this year in South Africa, where she got busted for pot possession. Sources say the fact that she got released so quickly on bail is an indication of how seriously the prosecution is taking the case. The fact that her boyfriend de jour Cy Waits got held may indicate that he's being set up as fall guy - but who knows. The drugs were found in her purse, and she was the only woman in the car at the time of the bust. Paris however insists that she had just come from a night club where oodles of women, and their purses, were present. So maybe she grabbed up the wrong purse because she was too stoned to notice. Anyone would buy that if they were on a jury, right? Perhaps, if jury duty lowers your IQ by 15 points!

Also the above mugshot of Paris shows her looking as good as ever. Hopefully she will whether this storm as she has her others. The pressures of fame can take a lot out of you. Take Sarah Palin for instance. She's been America's heart throb ever since John McCain discovered her as a running mate via google search (Since then Sarah has moved up in the world, and onto Twitter! She always was an ambitious girl with an eye to her future!). Though she was an attractive lady at the time, her brush with fame has left her looking the worse for wear. Just take a look at this most recent Sarah Palin picture!

Of course she got herself prettied up for her big Tea Party Rally. On a totally unrelated note - for our Sunday Wondertrash matinee: here's an example of how movies can make anything look good, especially evil - with Triumph of the Will.

Anna Nicole Smith asks "What Drugs?"

"Of course I do drugs! I'm fucked up right now!"

Anna Nicole Smith's drug use is common knowledge these days. Back before her untimely death it was an open secret. Rumours of drug use hounded the model through out her career. Many of these rumours were fueled by her frequent drunken and drugged up appearances in public. Anna Nicole always adamantly denied drug use. In the following short video interview Smith addresses the question of drug use with a "Who me?" type response. The odd thing is - Smith was obviously stoned while giving the interview! Just look:



Celebrities have probably done more to discourage illicit drug use than a whole army of Nancy Reagans and Dr Lauras could ever hope to accomplish. Now if only they could discourage the alarming plastic surgery trend!



Wow - Sly Stallone's mom looks just like Carrot Top. More like Carrot Top than her own son even! Perhaps that resemblances is from using the same plastic surgeon. What possesses the stars to get these horrible things done to their faces? It can't be because they think it makes them more attractive. They would have to be beyond delusional, and into vision impairment, to believe that. Perhaps it's just another version of celebrity personality disorder - Let's get which often involves both attention seeking and addictive behavior. Let's get Larry King's opinion on the matter.




We can only hope that Carrot Top returns to his senses before he winds up looking like Lisa Rina!

Rock the Casbah

Celebrities are people who will go to any lengths to stand out. Naturally everyone likes to have their moment. However you shouldn't stick out like a sore thumb to get it. If you must stick out like a sore thumb then you might wind up like Khurram Syed. He was a contestant on Canadian Idol, where he failed to impress judges with his Avril Lavinge Complicated cover. He made an impression on the public though. He also made an impression on the RCMP when he got busted as a member of a homegrown terrorist ring. When picked up he and his cronies had the ingredients for explosives, and were still trying to figure out how to put them together. At least he didn't let his CI experiences discourage him, or he might never have gotten his 15 minutes of fame.



Now that might have been pretty bad, but just think about it - if Hitler had received more encouragement as a painter we might have avoided World War 2! At least Khurram didn't do classic "Rock the Casbah" for his Canadian Idol number.



BTW speaking of celebrity sore thumbs keep your eyes open for next week's issue of the Pulitzer nominated National Enquirer! It's their "Spill the beans on Oprah" issue!


& from the non Pulitzer nominated competition:

When Enough is Enough

Fallen Idol

American Idol Fantasia has been busy recently. She wrecked a marriage, got herself into a sex video (the surest path to celebrity according to celeb spawn Dakota, or Montana, Fishburn). Now Fantasia figured that she didn't need that kind of PR and so she took and overdose. Original speculation was that the pressure of home wrecking and sex tapes got to her and she was looking for the quick way out. Now it turns out that she only took an overdose of Aspirin and Sleep Aid. So she ain't exactly in Lohan territory. Now that has everyone asking whether the OD was a sympathy ploy, or just an attempt at some extreme relaxation that went a bit too far. Here's the official word on the along with some other none news (Well except for the part about Mark David Chapman - then again no one expects him to get paroled anyway!).



Paris Hilton could've told the girl that celebrity sex tapes, like death, might be an excellent career move but on a personal level it just doesn't get you anywhere.

emergency belligerence

Some one who has become an overnight celebrity would be Jetblue attendant Steven Slater. slater flipped out when he got hit in the head by a uncooperative elderly passenger. After asking the lady nicely to behave, and then being told to "fuck off", Slater went on a profanity laced intercom tirade. After calling the passenger out, he the made good his escape through the jet's emergency exit. That was after grabbing a few brews on the way out. I'm sure that he needed to settle his nerves.

When the police caught up with him there was to be even more embarrassment. He was apparently caught in the act with his partner when police invaded his home. Plus the story went viral. Youtube may have gotten the ball rolling but the rogue flight attendant is being hailed as a hero by everyone who wishes that they had the guts, or where even able, to say "Enough!" So that leaves the story where it is presently: with Slater out of work and talking to lawyers. So you don't need to be Kreskin to figure out that the lawsuit is coming next.




So Mr. Slater has become the worst kind of celebrity - an unemployed hero. It only goes to show that fame just ain't worth it. It's even worse than a life of crime, since if crime pays, then fame costs. Besides their ain't no future in the hero racket. Pay is lousy, benefits suck, and you can't even count on wearing really eye catching fetish wear anymore! So unless you're Wonder Woman, or have a really rockin' sex tape, do yourself and the rest of the world a break - opt for the quiet life. Whatever you do, don't get your McNuggets in a twist!

Oh My Stars

Stars are huge unstable balls of explosive energy which generate so much gravity that they suck in everything near by, and make escape nearly impossible. They also have the ability to solve some of the world's most serious problems; the kind that scientists and politicians have been struggling with for centuries. If you don't believe me then just watch the following short but informative video on harnessing star power for the general good of humanity!



Now on from those stars to the kind of stars that are useless to everyone especially including themselves - Follywood stars!

Catherine Zeta Jones was spotted out and about in public recently. Now there's nothing odd in that. What was encrusted around the bridge of her nose might be called peculiar. It was a mysterious white powder similar to the kind that has gotten Lindsay Lohan into so much trouble. Let's have a peep by way of Dlisted!

Send In The Coke

That's either coke or old man Douglas has become dangerously dehydrated and is shooting powder!

There have been some blinds going around about a high powered Hollywood 'coke mom' but I'm sure that can't be Cat. For one thing if she went out in public with cocaine smeared on her nose and her dress, then that would be damned sloppy. Sloppy is one word you don't associate with CZJ! So I'll give her the same benefit of the doubt that I would give Lindsay Lohan: perhaps Cat was applying foot powder & missed! You know how easily that can happen and especially when you're coked out of your mind!

BTW there's plenty more of those pix over @ DListed, including ones of Cat's powder smeared dress. So hit the link and head over. DListed would be Dlighted so see you!

If Megan Fox thinks it's a bad idea then maybe there's something to it after all

BTW This just in from the unsubstantiated rumor dept - Kristen Stewart has been approached to play Wonder Woman in an adaption of the DC Comic. She hasn't said no either. In fact unnamed sources say she's seriously considering doing the role if she can bring some Joan Jett edge to the part. She's also cited Megan Fox's flat out refusal to consider the role and her subsequent career slump commenting that sometimes the obvious choice isn't necessarily the smart one.

Freaky Friday

livin' la vida Lohan

Lindsay Lohan has had her brushes with the law. In fact she's still on probation for a DUI. That charge got batted around the system for awhile until last year Judge Marsha Revel made it clear to La Lohan that something has to be done about the drinking and driving. Revel ordered Lohan into a alcohol awareness type program (Lindsay is already aware of alcohol - maybe even hyper aware). To drive the point home the judge ordered Lindz to attend once every 7 days.

sweet land of liberty

Now the American legal system is riddled with loop hole - as FOX News loves to point out. Sometimes they allow lesbian pink gun gangs to terrorize fit young men as if they were all in a Monty Python sketch. Sometimes they allow confessed cocaine addicts to escape prosecution,go on to become president, and then plunge their country into war & economic chaos. This time they've allowed Lindsay the leeway she needs to continue her desperate party lifestyle.

to consistent to be reliable

The flaw in the system this time lay with the school (the other weak link in the Great Society). While Lindsay must attend her alcohol program once a week as per judges orders. the school is only required to report her if she misses 21 days. So guess what happens. Lindz skips 2 classes regular as clock work, and shows up on the 21st. Lindsay may have complied with the school's requirements, but defied the judge's.

what we are dealing with here is a total lack of respect for the law

Naturally this sort of thing can not be tolerated. It's especially intolerable when the courts somehow manage to find out (the court system is extremely over worked - probably from being backed up with repeat celebrity offenders). In fact the judge may have suspected something like this would happen, because she stipulated that if Lohan didn't comply she would go off to jail with no ifs, ands, or buts about it!

half fool

Now Lindsay has another hearing coming up on May 20th. So all this information is bound to come out. Lindsay's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, is optimistic. He says "We have received no negative written report from the program and contend Ms. Lohan is therefore in compliance." Some see the glass as half full and others half empty - but does this guy even see the glass? Then again Lindz has had a good track record where sentencing has been concerned. So who knows whether she's finally run out of luck.

Besides, if Lindz does get some jail time it will make her # 1 admirer Dr. Drew Pinsky happy. Plus it will but her felonious father Michael Lohan one step closer to that conservatorship he dreams of. So that's a win - win situation. For everyone except perhaps Lindsay. Hang in there kid!

Cameron Douglas sentenced to 5 years

When heroin addict Cameron Douglas got busted with 20 000 in cocaine and meth amphetamine he got himself into more trouble than his famous father Michael could get him out of. It didn't help Cam's gal pal tried to smuggle him drugs hidden inside an electric tooth brush through open court.

Michael really went to bat for the kid during his trial. He gave a number of interviews saying what you could find out right here on Wondertrash - that fame and fortune will fuck you up. Michael tried to intervene and even used the tough love approach. He cut the kid off without a dime until he cleaned himself up. That left the kid in a tough spot. As a Hollywood kid he really wasn't qualified to do very much except hang around the pool and attend parties. In fact a life time in Tinseltown really only left him suitable for one non celebrity position - drug dealer. Not all life experience can be put in a resume!

IN retrospect the tough love approach might not have been such a hot idea. Cameron began supporting himself by dealing. Being bright and otherwise ambitious the lad worked his way up to trafficker. That's when the cops nabbed him. Since this wasn't like walking out of a party with a joint, or through airport baggage with your coke stash, Cameron would be getting more than the obligatory slap on the wrist followed by rehab if found guilty, and found guilty he was!

U.S. District Judge Richard M. Berman said that before passing sentence he had read over 35 letters of support for Cameron. These came from family, friends, well wishers, and Catherine Zeta Jones. The were unanimous in insisting that the lad had hit rock bottom and was ready to turn his life around. Cameron himself stated that he was sorry for squandering the many disadvantages his name and family brought with them. He even swore to turn his life around.

Well everyone must've been very convincing because the judge sentenced him to 5 years behind bars. The judge's explanation was that he felt this could be Cameron's last chance at whatever he had a chance at. I just hope that doing time works out better for the boy than Mikey's tough love tactics. Besides it's only 5 years. Prisoners don't start going religious or getting seriously crazy till past the 7 year mark!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

BTW this is currently being hotly debated over @ Gossiprocks forum. Go on and join in!

Michael Jackson: Murder by suicide?

Just because disgraced cardiologist Dr Conrad Murray continues to twist on the hook over the death of his celebrity patient Michael Jackson doesn't mean that the fellow has stopped trying to wriggle off. Murray got himself in a fix when he made a special house call to Jackson to supply the troubled pop star with Propofol - a powerful OR anesthetic. It turned out to be the last time they'd work together, though it would be far from the last Murray would hear about it.

After Jackson made the full transition from man to myth, Murray was held responsible for the singer's death. After all Propofol is only supposed to be administered in an OR and by a qualified anesthetist. The surviving Jacksons were particularly keen to get to the bottom of this, and so began using their money and power to make sure that Murray wouldn't walk away Scot free.

Soon nasty stories came out about the Jackson 3: Paris, Prince, and Blanket, watching in tears as Murray scurried around hiding med bottles and Jackson lay dying. The good doctor even interrupted CPR on his high profile patient to cover the evidence. The ambulance was on the way - so what was the big deal he might've thought.

Stories like that didn't help Murray's cause in the court of public opinion. Now the Doctor is coming out with his side of the story. He claims that Jackson gave himself a second injection after Murray left the room, and that this was a deliberate attempt at suicide. I guess he feels that he can't be expected to save some one from themselves. Since the Jacksons themselves have been singing that song for a while now Murray might hope that the argument has precedent value in the court of public opinion. Now that only leaves him with his own irresponsible conduct to excuse. So progress is being made. As for Justice being served, if she hasn't learned to serve herself by now she never will.



Dr. Murray will be back in court this afternoon to continue his quest for wiggle room. He might want to consult some better lawyers since even if Jackson did give himself the final lethal dose, that doesn't absolve Murray from negligence in bringing Propofol onto the premises, and then leaving Jackson alone with the drug. As a physician he had to know better.

Former WWE Star Chris Kanyon Commits Suicide

Yet another pro wrestler has died young. This time it's former WWE performer Chris Kanyon. He committed suicide with an overdose of pills.

We've got everything we need on you, except clothes and a complaint!

From the tragic to the ridiculous: Erykah Badu has been charged with "window seat nudity". Badu recently completed her Window Seat video down in Texas and that included some scenes in which Badu reenacts the Kennedy Assignation while nude. I kid you not. Badu claims that this is artistic expression. Texas sees it as indecent exposure.

famous for getting mad against famous for being naked

Charges might have been filed earlier except authorities were waiting for some one to file charges. Not that it's not hard to find some one who is unhappy about something - many of us blog. Sure enough a malcontent, or perhaps a discontent - let's give them the benefit of the doubt and call them merely disgruntled (I don't want to get them on any serial murderer/ticking time bomb watch lists), finally came forward. She's an angry mother - Ida Perez - who is offended that her young daughter had to witness folk rock nudity (... and in this day and age! This is the post modern age and streaking went out with Woodstock!), and that her daughter wound up in the video as a crowd member.

pop music video is a gate way to fame addiction

NOW naturally this sort of thing has to be stopped fast. Today the young girl is in a folk rock video with Badu, but where might that lead? Possibly on to commercials and then the really hard stuff - reality TV. Reality TV is the crack cocaine of fame addiction (I would have said that it was the crystal meth of fame addiction except that clearly refers to pro wrestling!). So mom jumped in and made an official complaint. The authorities were quick to step in too, charging the naked Badu with a misdemeanor and a fine.

flavor of the month - I used to be the next main course but no one named a sandwich after me!

Meanwhile Badu, who hasn't been relevant in years (she used to be the next Tracy Chapman), now has a lot of free publicity for her soon to be released naked head shot video! So she won't try a smutty stunt like that again soon! Just as long as she'd learned her lesson, she can have a second chance. She shouldn't take too many chances though, or folk will think that she's learned your lesson not wisely but too well!

Celebrity: Live forever, in plastic!

Drugged out Peahces Geldorf sluts it up @ Scientology center

Peaches channels her inner Jerry Blank @ Scientology Center

Sir Bob Geldorf started out as a rock musician but became better known as a charity organizer. He's still relevant as the father of Peaches Geldorf (not a Tolkien character). She's best known as a celebrity screw up. Now there are rumors that Peaches has been involved in a heroin fueled sex romp at a Scientology center. Let's get the details from a friendly Aussie commentator in the following short video clip.

She's a rich girl who's gone too far cause she knows it doesn't matter anyway

That young woman is a boozer, a user, and a loser; but she can afford to be. Peaches Geldorf isn't the only one making a Scientology related spectacle of herself. Kirstie Alley is gloating over the demise of Conan O Brien's career to anyone who will listen. Back in the days when Conan had a TV show, Kirstie Alley was a favorite topic of his. Or more like a big fat target. Nowadays Conan has been relegated to Twitter (something he and Kirstie now share in common) and Kirstie has a brand new series called The Big Life. Kirstie wants everyone to know how pleased she is with the way things worked out too. Here's Kirstie enjoying the table turning in the following video.



BTW The Big Life is still not a Scientology scam, but they still do have adjoining office space with high ranking Scientologists.

Kirstie mentioned in the above interview that this might be karma. Of course that's what Sharon Stone said when the earth quake hit China. Stone is a very good friend of the Dalia Lama, as well as of numerous plastic surgeons. Well Stone wound up in shit very fast over those insensitive and thoughtless comments (Sharon can be a bitch, so can karma).

It's no secret that celebs are very much into that whole karma-New Age-Laws of Manifestation deal. It was only a matter of time before they learned how to harness the force for evil. So here now are some helpful tips on how to rid yourself of bad karma. It might be worth paying attention to just in case there are some big bitter fatties in your past.



Remember that what goes around comes around - so don't let it catch up with you!

Did Michael Jackson's Doc Stop CPR to Hide Drugs?

More creepy doctors

Yet another blow for the health system that boasts the best care money can buy. This time it comes in the form of disgraced Michael Jackson doc Murray Conrad. Conrad got himself into a spot of bother when it was revealed that he was making house-calls (bad enough in it's self) to shoot Jackson full of the powerful OR anesthetic profonol.

This is irresponsible conduct for a doctor regardless of the money he was offered - unless the doctor is Jack Kevorkian (serial murderers have a morbid attraction to the medical profession as sadists do to dentistry - "Let me just apply this special gag on you before I drill into those strong white teeth!"). So naturally the surviving members of the Jackson clan have come after him with dull rusty hatchets. Now claims are surfacing that the doctor stopped CPR on Jackson so he could rush to hide drugs before the emergency response team arrived! That was very conscientious of the good doctor, even if it wasn't very helpful. That's the trouble with the best care that money can buy. Oh well, there's bound to be a flaw in any system.