Death Benefits

Lucky Stiff

Back towards the end of Michael Jackson's life he was regularly abusing drugs like Propofol, to escape reality. The fact that his career was a mess might have had something to do with it. At his peak Jackson owned the Beatles catalogue which got pimped out o sell running shoes & German cars. So you'd think that Jackson was richer than Richie Rich. Paying off out of court settlements on child molestation cases dug into the nest egg. Michael sold out the Beatles catalog 25% at a time. When he got down to the final quarter, he mortgaged that.

That left Michael with some trouble mailing ends meet. For one thing Jackson was taking out loans at high interest rates. There were 65 of these outstanding at the time of his death. For another thing he had a whimsical lifestyle to support. Keeping Neverland stocked in Siberian White tigers and Macaw parrots wasn't cheap (the unicorn is still on order). So with falling record sales, mortgaged assets, and pay outs to angry parents (multiple outstanding law suits at the time of his death), the Gloved One had to some up with an extra source of income.

People in the UK still liked Jackson. So he booked a 50 show deal in London. Jackson would do his patent singing and dancing routine 50 times be fore a live audience and in return he'd get a huge payday. Something like $25 mill was staked to set things up. The only problem was that Jackson was no spring chicken any more. He'd never recovered from that Pepsi accident. Plus he'd spent the last ten years getting shot up with needles through the lower legs, and hanging out in wheelchairs. So could he still pull his moves, and would the struggle to get back into shape kill him?

This is it - in more ways than one

So some people had there doubts from the word go. Still the deal had been signed, the money fronted, and besides Jackson was desperate for an cash infusion! So things went full speed ahead. Since the concerts sold out it seemed like the reasonable thing to do. That is until Jackson died three weeks before the tour began. Then it seemed only reasonable to cancel. That not only left the Jackson estate with it existing $400 million in debt - but another $40 million in liability.

An overachiever to the end, and after!

The great thing about a life in entertainment is that things can always turn around. Even if you're dead. Once Jackson had kicked off of the mortal coil, the usual fear and suspicion that had surrounded him increasingly during the final fifteen years of his life was cleaned up. Jackson's image was reformed, for one thing. He got a promotion from Prince of Pop to King of Pop. There was a nifty memorial at LA's Staples Centre. His kids - whom he'd tried to keep out of the spotlight for years - were trotted out to say what a great dad he was. So the child molestation stuff could be dropped - even though while he was a live defending him on that would've been like questioning whether OJ really did it (they were both found "not guilty"). So it looked like MJ would be the next dead guy to go out an conquer the world through fame.

This is it, & only the beginning

Now it would be hard to say that Jackson has conquered the world, but he has come along way since dying. For one thing his estate has gotten rid of that 400 million debt. In fact they have even paid off the concert cancellation liabilities. Add to that the fact that the Jackson home in Encino California has had a major upgrade, and that makes the remaining $315 million the estate has cleared as profit since MJ died in June 25 2009 impressive.

His executors get credit for shrewd fiscal management. However in some statements to TMZ, which revealed just how well Jackson has done since he was done for - the executors also claim to have given his brand image a major overhaul. Of course that's a lot easier without Jackson around to keep flaunting his bizarre behavior in every one's face. That's the thing about celebrity - once you successfully separate the image from the person, then anything is possible. Even if the person doesn't survive the process. Thing of it as like Jesus in reverse! At least none of the executors made any kind of "he was his own worst enemy" remarks. He won't have that problem from now on, will he?

Wondertrash 'bogus zen' thought of the day - Plastic surgery: why wait until you're dead to begin getting embalmed? Besides, it's just part of the celebrity mummification process!

Are the best of us like the rest of us?

the human condition - Survive the dive and arrive alive!

Celebrities seem to have it all. While they do appear to have fulfilled our most cherished aspiration like fame. wealth, beauty, etc.; they are also prone to the same set backs as the rest of us; like unemployment, illness, & death. It doesn't matter how high they've ascended either, since the fickle finger of fate can reach them even at the pinnacle, as poor Sandra Bullock found out shortly after what should've been the greatest moment of her life.

an insane instance

Take Tom Cruise for instance. Back in his Nicole Kidman days no one in Hollywood was bigger. Paramount payed him the princely sum of 10 million a year just to keep an office in their studio. Then Major Tom lost touch with ground control, & went haywire on Oprah's couch! After that it was as if he couldn't get arrested. Even though his movies had always been solid A material, people couldn't get over the image of him on afternoon TV giggling and jumping around like a lemur on crack cocaine.

Cruise falters while halting Hitler!

Tom has put tout a few movies since then, most notably Valkyrie. That was the one wear he tried to kill Hitler! Maybe that explains why Tom is in PR overdrive lately. He's just had his Knight & Day debut with Cameron Diaz - she's the girl who stays in shape by having sex and who's name spells "Crazed, I moan". They were a hit together in Vanilla Sky; where Diaz played the crazy stalker chick. Even though critics liked them together again this time, the movie flopped. It only brought in about 4 million on it's Wednesday opening. So Tom is now making a last ditch effort to hype the flick - by appearing on Jimmy Kimmel. Here now are the clips from that, and though not as interesting as his Oprah Winfrey work, is posted for your viewing enjoyment.

Jimmy Kimmel's Mind

Tom Cruise wasn't the only thing on Jimmy Kimmel's mind last night. He also took some time out in his monologue to reflect on the passing of pop icon Michael Jackson. Next to Brooke Shields and Elizabeth Taylor, Jackson was most closely associated with his side kick - Bubbles the Chimp. That strange relationship is what elicited comment from Mr. Kimmel.

selling your soul & mortgaging paradise

Michael & Bubbles: The Untold Story - that must've been a humdinger! Michael Jackson is another instance of a celeb who had the world, until life caught up with them. In the year prior to his death he couldn't turn a buck; he sold most of his major assets such as a majority interest in the Beatles catalog, mortgaged Neverland, and had even planned a come back tour. It was during the preparations for the tour that he died from an overdose of profonol, administered by disgraced cardiologist Dr. Conrad Murray. In the year since people have been unable to talk about little else but Jackson. Other celebrities who passed about the same time were eclipsed: celebrities like Farrah Fawcett.

Great Big Splash!

Farrah passed at almost the same time as Jackson. She'd been battling intestinal cancer for some time - so the media outlets had her obituary already written (it's standard operating procedure for mags to write up the obits for celebs most likely in advance, so that they'll be ready at a moment's notice). Big splashy tributes and retrospectives had been planned. When Michael Jackson died unexpectedly (Almost, Wondertrash had been posting on Jackson's worsening health for several months before his actual death - search the archives & see!), it pushed Farrrah out of the picture. Only Ryan O Neal's disgraceful funeral antics kept Farrah in the public's mind's eye. Now with the anniversary of her death here as well - here's a a clip on how her family is coping with the loss.



At least Ryan didn't make a pass at anyone during that. Then again the only close kin available was troubled son Redmond. However Ryan and Redmond aren't the only ones remembering Farrah - the good folk @ PopTV.com have put together a little video tribute for the late actress:

Restylane & the rest of us

Farrah's illness and passing serve as a reminder that celebrities are flesh and blood like the rest of us, no matter how hard they try to replace the mortal bits with collagen & restylane! Gywneth Paltrow might deny that she's is any percentage restylane, though she does exude some strange oily substances when subjected to bright lights - maybe the heat affects her frigid air. She also preaches her own version of the good life via her internet newsletter GOOP ("You don't need to be an icy bitch to appreciate the finer things in life but it helps"). Despite her growing awareness & icy bitchiness Gywneth too is as mortal as the rest of us. It's recently been revealed that Gywnnie has a bone disease. Here's the low down on that!

Fair Ms Frigidaire - she used to be the next Grace Kelley

Hopefully Gywnnie won't be too disappointed with herself. A trip to the naturopath and some power yoga should have her back to her old self in no time flat. Besides, illness can strike on reptoids even higher up the food chain than her. Reptoids like Dick "Darth Vader" Cheney. Cheney is more accustomed to putting people in the hospital - like the time he shot his best friend in the face while pheasant hunting down in Texas. His friend later apologized for the embarrassment he caused Cheney by blocking his shot. I guess there's nothing like a face full of bird shot to help you get it in perspective.

Is Darth Cheney a Dick Vader?

In fairness to Darth Dick, he has logged some hospital time himself. It's usually for a heart condition, which is surprising considering all the rumors that he hasn't got one. Anyway the skeptics on that will be disappointed to hear that Cheney does in fact have a heart - it's put him in the hospital again too.

Maggoty with political opinion!

Since America has the best health care in the world you'd think that those high powered specialist would've gotten to the bottom of his problem by now. My guess is that it's something simple. His heart - the most human organ, is probably just rejecting it's host. Cultivating alittle warmth and compassion might make Cheney's stony breast a more habitable place. A good place for Cheney to start might be by informing himself about health care. He might even be able to take a few notes from celebrity commentator Penn Jillette in the following video:

wearing their Achilles' Heel on their sleeve

No matter how rich & powerful they get, celebs are still prone to the same weaknesses as their fellow men. It's as if there ongoing attempts to dehumanize themselves into immortal glory - like Achilles bathing in the river Styx - were doomed to failure. A vulnerable heel remains for fate to strike at. With that in mind, maybe we can extend a little human understanding towards those who have become the prisoners of their own ambition and insecurity. We might also take the lifestyles of the rich and famous as cautionary tales. Live your lives wisely rather than too well.

Joe Jackson Blames Michael's Mom!

Some very good news for Dr Conrad Murray. Looks like he's not responsible for Michael Jackson's death. Turns out that his own mother is, that is if you believe one word that comes out of Joe Jackson's mouth.



He's also contesting the will on the grounds that it must be a fake! It's really on the grounds that Michael excluded him completely. The man just has no shame.

Now from the grotesque to the delightfully ridiculous - here's a link to The East Side Kids on RetrovisionTV! 7 complete comedy gems have been posted there for your perusal: Bowery Blitzkrieg, Clancy Street Boys, Flying Wild, Kid Dynamite, Let’s Get Tough, Neath the Brooklyn Bridge and That Gang of Mine!

Jackson Child to Testify Against Dr. Conrad Murray

"I think we really let me down!"

The Jackson Clan aren't responsible for Michael's premature passage into final Neverland. They've said hundreds of times that they couldn't save him from himself. Maybe that's why it's okay to cash in on it. They even gone so far as to trot out the children: Paris, Prince, and Blanket, to several public occasions. Michael said that the children would only ever be pimped out over his dead body - so since it's okay with him why not?

Doctor Bullseye

Besides, the Jackson's know who's really to blame - that creepy cardiologist Dr. Conrad Murray. The Jacksons have gone to extremes to be sure about this too, like paying off encouraging witness, bullying staff, and bringing in hired guns to reach the conclusion they want get to the truth.

No reason in the world

Fortunately for the Jacksons, Paris & co weren't tasered silly by their mischievous cousins, because they're coming in handy once again. It seems that at least one of them is gonna be testifying against Murray at trial. It's a shame that Michael kept them secluded for so long, because as any show biz veteran can tell you - there are no end of uses for innocent appealing young children. I suppose that's a lesson Michael himself learned along time ago, & the hard way. At least the kids are getting out into the world more.

Accentuate the positive

Besides it's important to keep focused on the positive. As long as there's clearly defined scape goat villain to persecute blame, the Jacksons never have to explain where they where during their famous brother's downward spiral. So they can go on milking his death for what ever they can get out of it. Hurray!

Michael Jackson: Murder by suicide?

Just because disgraced cardiologist Dr Conrad Murray continues to twist on the hook over the death of his celebrity patient Michael Jackson doesn't mean that the fellow has stopped trying to wriggle off. Murray got himself in a fix when he made a special house call to Jackson to supply the troubled pop star with Propofol - a powerful OR anesthetic. It turned out to be the last time they'd work together, though it would be far from the last Murray would hear about it.

After Jackson made the full transition from man to myth, Murray was held responsible for the singer's death. After all Propofol is only supposed to be administered in an OR and by a qualified anesthetist. The surviving Jacksons were particularly keen to get to the bottom of this, and so began using their money and power to make sure that Murray wouldn't walk away Scot free.

Soon nasty stories came out about the Jackson 3: Paris, Prince, and Blanket, watching in tears as Murray scurried around hiding med bottles and Jackson lay dying. The good doctor even interrupted CPR on his high profile patient to cover the evidence. The ambulance was on the way - so what was the big deal he might've thought.

Stories like that didn't help Murray's cause in the court of public opinion. Now the Doctor is coming out with his side of the story. He claims that Jackson gave himself a second injection after Murray left the room, and that this was a deliberate attempt at suicide. I guess he feels that he can't be expected to save some one from themselves. Since the Jacksons themselves have been singing that song for a while now Murray might hope that the argument has precedent value in the court of public opinion. Now that only leaves him with his own irresponsible conduct to excuse. So progress is being made. As for Justice being served, if she hasn't learned to serve herself by now she never will.



Dr. Murray will be back in court this afternoon to continue his quest for wiggle room. He might want to consult some better lawyers since even if Jackson did give himself the final lethal dose, that doesn't absolve Murray from negligence in bringing Propofol onto the premises, and then leaving Jackson alone with the drug. As a physician he had to know better.

Did Michael Jackson's Doc Stop CPR to Hide Drugs?

More creepy doctors

Yet another blow for the health system that boasts the best care money can buy. This time it comes in the form of disgraced Michael Jackson doc Murray Conrad. Conrad got himself into a spot of bother when it was revealed that he was making house-calls (bad enough in it's self) to shoot Jackson full of the powerful OR anesthetic profonol.

This is irresponsible conduct for a doctor regardless of the money he was offered - unless the doctor is Jack Kevorkian (serial murderers have a morbid attraction to the medical profession as sadists do to dentistry - "Let me just apply this special gag on you before I drill into those strong white teeth!"). So naturally the surviving members of the Jackson clan have come after him with dull rusty hatchets. Now claims are surfacing that the doctor stopped CPR on Jackson so he could rush to hide drugs before the emergency response team arrived! That was very conscientious of the good doctor, even if it wasn't very helpful. That's the trouble with the best care that money can buy. Oh well, there's bound to be a flaw in any system.

Jackson gets posthumous record contract

There's no rest for the wicked, nor from them. With that in mind here's a look at what some very busy celebrities have been up to lately with a hot steaming pile of gossip de jour.

Jackson Kids in stun gun incident

You read it right - now here's the low down:



This comes hot on the heels of Debbie Rowe's recent performance at Michael Jackson's mausoleum. Now performance I don't mean anything like his memorial where some people who hadn't spoken to MJ in years got up and said some stuff that sounded vaguely insincere while pretending to cry. She started screeching and bawling. She had an audience too since some one had tipped of the paparazzi (Why bother? - I'm sure they have MJ's tomb staked out, just in case Elvis shows up or something. If we've learned anything about the King of Pop it's that he's becoming even stranger in death so the tomb is a good enough place to wait for a story to emerge.).

Now the working theory is that Ms Rowe herself tipped off the paps, probably for a pay off. Michael was her only means of livelihood and his estate doesn't feel like continuing to keep her in the style to which she has become accustomed. So she probably needs cash. We already know that she doesn't much care what she does to get it - if the amount is right.

What she probably wants is the kids. Not out of any maternal concern or attachments to MJ. She wants what they're worth. If she can't get them and claim generous support, then at least she'll try and position herself to negotiate some 'get lost' money from The Jacksons. That begins with vcreating leverage which in this case means making her claim on the kids look more legitimate, and therefore the threat more serious. Some on had to call CPS over the stun gun episode and I don't think that the call was made from with in the compound. Joe would never let such a call be made - it would interfer with his plans to set the Jackson 3 aloft in a tinfoil balloon - perhaps as a way of raising global awareness to an upcoming J3 world tour?