National Enquirer giving Michael Douglas 3 months

Remember when the National Enquirer gave Michael Jackson 6 months to live? That was back around 6 months before he died. They almost got as much creditability out of that as they do from their Pulitzer prize nomination. Naturally the encouragement sent them on a deathwatch spree, and they were predicting the immanent demise of everyone in Hollywood, up to and including Oprah & Kirstie Alley - some of Hollywood's biggest stars in other words. That lead to a blow up on Twitter. Kirstie tool some kind of personal exception to the Enquirers little death prediction - celebrities can be so sensitive - and declared all out war on the mag. She even published the home address of the reporter who had given her for years (so unappreciative for the gift of time), and encouraged whatever fans that she might still have (There are still a few of us Cheers watchers out here!) to harass the hapless journalist! After that the Enquirer went back to their preoccupation with John Edwards' active love life.

The Enquirer has got their nerve back and re entered the celebrity death business. This time they're giving beleaguered Michael Douglas 3 months to live. Even casual celebrity gossip followers know that Douglas - one of America's most talented film makers - is doing battle with a serious case of cancer. However most people decided that he would overcome this, and so went on to other concerns.



Douglas' many friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and well wishers were sounding optimistic. Shia Labouef - his Wall Street 2 co star - claimed that Douglas would beat this cause he's "a wolf". Then again Labouef has every reason to pull for a Douglas recovery. Shia pulled a Megan Fox and publicly criticized his former Hollywood sponsor Steven Spielberg, claiming the director had dropped the ball on the latest Indiana Jones - man are those movies getting old. Ordinarily that would be career suicide since directors have been known to take such comments as personally as Kirstie Alley might take a tabloid death prediction (anyone heard from world's sexiest woman Megan Fox lately?). However Shia probably felt that he'd made a powerful new friend with Douglas and so his working relationship with Spielberg was now expendable. Nobody plans on death - unless they're suicidal.

As Douglas conditioned worsened everyone got less optimistic - and Labouef got more nervous about his future (it must be nice to know that at least one person is really pulling for your recovery). Some serious talk about when MD might pass from the mortal coil began. Some gossip had the actor down to 145 pounds. Still more talk had him refusing the more difficult forms of cancer treatment. Tabs were even printing stories about Douglas requesting Catherine Zeta Jones have one more child by him, as a going away present.

Now the Enquirer has come right out and announced that Douglas is about to pass on. They're featuring it on next weeks cover, along with their official prediction of 3 months left. Further more they've down graded his weight to 139. They're also referring to a mysterious secret that Catherine Zeta is hiding from him. So if you're following the tragic Michael Douglas story this might be worth checking out. That is unless it would feel too vulturish or something. Not tht it should feel especially vulturish. It's been noticed more than once that the fame business is something like offering your flesh up for sale in a for of professional cannibalism.

If that's too morbid then you can check out Elin's ultimate revenge on Tiger Woods!