Get well soon, Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods used to be an amazing golfer. He could do things with balls that people didn't believe were possible. Then he got doing things with his balls that his that his wife, and the public, never suspected. That's when the shit hit the fan and we never thought about Tiger Woods the same way again.

Tiger never played the same way again either. Golf is a mental game - so I'm told.Tiger is mentally fucked. Since his life became a 3 ring circus he hasn't been able to hit the broad side of a barn, let alone get a ball into a hole. He did hit something recently though. While competing @ the Ryder Cup, Woods missed the hole, but nailed a photographer!

How'd it happen? Well Tiger was on the 18th hole. Daily Mail photographer Mark Pain was in position to what he thought would be another routine shot of Woods screwing up. However when Woods hit the ball Pain discovered that he was actually in the perfect spot to get this!


Well now, wasn't that embarrassing - though it was a little like the James Bond opening except with a golf ball instead of a gun! Tiger used to blow his cool in such situations. This time neither he nor his caddy Steve Williams freaked out about it. For one thing they both knew that the snapper wasn't at fault. For another thing they both must be getting used to these kind of bizarre fuck ups from the former greatest golfer ever. Whether Tiger ever gets his touch back, he's managed to run the gamut from being the best pro golfer to one of the worst pros on tour today. Not that he's consistently bad but when he fucks up it's a humdinger!

Fame isn't all champagne, caviar, and the world at your feet. Sometimes, as Hunter S Thompson noted, the going gets weird. When that happens youc an find yourself the featured performer in a real life freak show. So whadya do? Maybe Tiger could get some guidance from someone who's been through it themselves, and is emerging through the other side. Besides, look at the bright side Tiger, at least you weren't exposed as being a 35 year old virgin or anything - so the moral of the story is that it could be worse (and probably will be).