Red Hot Celebrity Pepper Poppers

Devil Pepper - the celebrity of the pepper world!

Every once and a while, but not too often, Wondertrash likes to perform a public service announcement. This time I'm taking some time out from Lindsay Lohan's scram bracelet and Paris Hilton's pot bust to warn the public about a disturbing new trend: ordinary people going celebrity by pushing the outer limits of human endurance and defying better judgment. They do this for extreme experience, and to get some easy attention via youtube. What they do is eat, raw, the hottest pepper in the world - the Bhut Jolokia or Naga Jolokia pepper!

fame: if you can't have a devil in you then have a devil pepper

The Naga (devil) Jolokia is the A Lister of the pepper world. To put this in perspective the Jolokia is about 1.5 million units on the Scoville scale. in comparison the jalapeno is only about 2500 units. The dreaded habanero pepper is about 250 000 units. People who can swallow habenero's raw and remain unphased are totaled by the jolokia. Worse still there is a delayed reaction. Swallow the pepper and it's hot. It quickly gets hotter. The build up continues for about 30 minutes, after which the victim is in a world of pain.

Doctor Pepper

Now why would otherwise intelligent & sensible people do such a thing? There are the usual reasons: playing with fire, testing their endurance, quest for experience. Then there's the prime reason: taping it and posted it to youtube! One of the original jolokia tapes was by a grower of the world's most dangerous pepper. He upped the ante by growing them in the rich soils of Hawaii, in an extra hot & humid climate. The result is an even hotter jolokia that in the course of one hour completely knocked out our fool hardy pepper adventurer! Let's have a look see at that:

It's like there's an award show in you mouth and everyone's invited

That particular video got over 750 000 views. That's almost as much as than cute cat videos! Like cute cat video's it's spawned a host of imitators - young and eager attention seekers who want to see if they can handle the world's most dangerous pepper. Now that works out about like you'd think, but there's nothing like seeing for yourselves. So here we go for a mad journey into jolokia chili land!

celebrities & other elite idiots

If you have the guts to try this then you're in an elite class of idiots! You might also get a guaranteed audience of 100 000 + via youtube. Apart from the embarrassment of freaking out in front of the world while your friends video tape you and laugh, you will have demonstrated the entire celebrity life cycle in under one hour: the desire for a challenge, and opportunity to test yourself, the bad decision, the chain reaction - once the insidious pepper has been swallowed, and then the meltdown. The chain reaction stage follows the 'bad decision' stage - that is swallowing the pepper. Once that sucker gets into you the train has left he stage and there's no way off except ride it out. 45 minutes into your pepper trip you'll be crying "Sweet Jesus" and you'll be more fucked up than Lindsay Lohan x Britney Spears.

appetite for fame, but can you stomach it?

So if you have a burning desire to get attention by doing something that no one in their right mind would do, then you might have a stomach for this home grown celebrity trip. You might even learn a few important celebrity lessons like - it's hard to stay hungry when your guts are disintegrating, and when you're about to burst into flames you're fellow men will be more inclined to stand by, laugh, and start video recording your plight then to offer any genuine assistance.

celebrity: don't try this at home

So I wouldn't recommend eating the Jolokia any more than I would recommend some one do reality TV, or jump Springfield Gorge on a skateboard. However if you actually try this then hopefully you might get enough food for thought to dissuade you from nay further ventures into the crazy world of celebrity!

Now this might be a bit of a departure from our usual celebrity shit slinging, but sometimes it pays to play it a little low key, for awhile.


Damn it Lindsay Lohan sure does have some friends in high places! Besides, it can't hurt to be careful. You know what happened to Erin Esurance when she got carried away and went too far. Some heavy assholes shut that little tramp down and good! I hear that it went bad for her sometime after Esurance tried to break into the health insurance racket.


I just hope that she can wriggle out of there before the bomb goes off, or she'll never be able to thwart that insurance shake down at the formula one rally! I hear that an army of Erin-like fembots are involved in that one, but maybe that's just something you pick up on the Internet. If not then fanboys will always have the fond memories of those entertaining Kim Possible type Esurance commercials!