Here's to togetherness!

Brangie vs the (gutter) press

Moksana might be at each other's thoughts, both legally and literally of the leaked tape recorded conversations of an hysterical Mel ranting racist death threats against his former mistress are to be believed (in the world of journalism a run on sentenced is known as "gonzo". That was originated by the late great Hunter Thompson who was freakishly gifted as a writer - bless his soul - but did like to write stoned and so sometimes lost track of where one sentence ended and another began. Sometimes he'd just mush several of them together!) - but there's one couple who just don't know when to quit - Brangelina. Brangelina, or Brangie for short, are not only solidly together, but are fighting mad about it. So much so that they've taken Brit tab News of the World to court over stories about the power couple disconnecting and even having a post nup type division of assets drawn up.

B-ish movie actress types

It hasn't been a good few years for News of the World. They also lost a suit to Kate Beckinsale - the Underworld vampire who married Len Wisman. The News referred to Beckinsale as a "B movie actress" She took exception and sued. She also won an undisclosed sum. The News' defense, that references to Ms. Beckinsale were a misprint, and that they meant Milla Jovovich, didn't seem to help their defense any. BTW Milla is moving up in class: she's featured as Milady in her husband Paul W Anderson's new adaption of the 3 Musketeers! I just hope that the Milla Martial Arts Massacre Finale made the film's final cut!

Make room for Jethro - Fail in the Family

Speaking of Follywood Family Values the Palin's have another crisis: Bristol Palin has defied her mother and become engaged to Levi Johnston. Now Sarah Barracuda is no fan of Ricky Hollywood, ever since he sold out and began spilling shit about her. When questioned about it by reporters she did mention that the lad might be welcome in her house for Thanksgiving, but only after being grilled in the oven for several hours and served up honey glazed with an apple in his mouth. So you can kind of take that 2 ways. Since Sarah's bagged bigger, meaner creatures than Levi he might probably take it as a warning. That's what Bristol seems to have taken it as, & so bypassed telling Mom in favour of blurting the news out through the tabloids. So it was presented to Mom as a fait accompli, or "it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission" in other words!

Teen pregnancy, reality TV, and other consequences

Now you can't blame Sarah for having reservations. Bristol is her eldest, and has been a target for entertainment industry bullies, like David "I'm into creepy stuff" Letterman! So naturally she wants to make sure that Bristol has a guy who can both provide for her daughter and protect her. Quite frankly this Levi fellow comes off as shiftless (and useless!).

next stop Sunnyvale Trailer Park!

However Sarah needn't worry. Bristol and Levi have their immediate future all worked out. They're planning a reality TV series (what else?) based on their life together as the 2 most famous young Alaskans on the planet. With a deal like that in the works they should be able to land a million dollar check from some desperate cable TV producers. If the show's as promising as it sounds, it might even keep them busy right up to mid season replacements. Besides with some minor retooling - like replacing Todd with Mel Gibson as crusty family patriarch, and rewriting Sarah as Dingbat, they might have a bona fide hit on their hands!

So that covers about everyone except the Lohan's! Remember the post from a few days back pointing out that jail was a Lohan family tradition? Well Dad might be joining Lindsay, since he's been charged with 2nd degree harassment for threatening to kill current gal pal and Jon Gosselin cast off Kate Major. According to Major she was sleeping one off when Big Mike barged in, called her a "fucking cunt", and threw her to the ground by overturning her chair. Mikey L counter claims that Major was drunk off her ass when he made the threat so how can she swear to it? - oops!