Forget North Korea - Dr. Drew predicts Jolie will 'go ballistic'!
Dr. Drew Pinsky has finally found some one more interesting than Lindsay Lohan to occupy his attention. Dr. Drew was quite concerned with that young lady's well being ever since she began living life too high in the fast lane. Lindsay started out with the odd car crash but Drew predicted that she would come to a bad end and possibly lose a limb. Lohan pointed out that responsible doctors shouldn't diagnose people they never met, and over television; but Drew wasn't not deterred. After a brief respite Dr. Pinsky was once again hot on Lindsay's tail, and via the media said that if he were her father he would load he car with drugs and notify the police. Failing that he would load her car with guns, bombs and Korans; and then notify Homeland Security. He also may have said that the girl needs some kind of enema - I'm not sure.Intensive therapy
Lindsay is finally getting the help she needs, or something like it anyway. The actress has finally been sentenced to rehab. In fact rehab has had some recent ups and downs for La Lohan. Only recently it was reported that Lindz was involved in some kind of assault with one of her rehab counselors. Seems that Lindsay had worked out some scheme with a few of her rehab cohorts. That resulted in Lindz & Co. getting nabbed by a female Betty Ford staffer as they were making their way back from a bar (or according to some stories Lindz demanded a safe house because of the presence of some alleged stalker, then availed herself of the opportunities presented by cramming the place with booze!)
"Take your hands off of me" - push comes to shove
Well the staffer confronts Lindz and want sto know what the heel is what. Then she allegedly made her big mistake; she put her hands on Lohan. What followed was and incident in which Lindsay supposedly battered the staffer. Of course Lindsay denied this and claimed that it was the staffer who victimized her. LL claims that she merely grabbed the staffer, and shoved her while telling the woman to "get your fucking hands off of me!" Michael raises 'em fiesty! Anyway the cops got called around about 1 AM, and a 'hand to hand battery' report got filed. When the dust cleared it was the staffer who got charge. That's only naturally since rehab staffers are a dime a dozen but imagine how much lot Lohan is bring into the joint! If staffer had been around she should've expected that!
Do you think like Drew?
Since Lindz is being taken good care of, that gives Dr Drew the chance to relax and turn his attentions else where. Now next to Lohan who's Hollywood's No 1 hot mess. That could be just about anyone but if you guessed Angelina Jolie then you and Drew think alike! Reports recently surfaced by way of the National Enquirer that Jolie is some kind of child abuser. Apparently she's pretty hard on young Shiloh Pitt. Shiloh is one of her bio babies, and she calls her 'the blob'. She also dresses and raises her as a boy. There's some interesting mommy-daughter issues working out there is this is true!Dredging the dregs with Creepy Sexy Mommy
These stories of Angie flying into rages while 'slapping' seem to suggest that she's found an alternative for her rage to partner Brad Pitt. They've also reminded everyone of what a flake she comes off as. So some old shit got dredged up lately - like Chelsea Handler talking about the brother James Haven make out stories (stories that Jolie is into incest). To be fair JH had to turn out a least a little warped. Having a first name as normal as James had to make him a Hollywood misfit. Just imagine the schoolyard taunting he got. "Hey James!" or "It's Jimbo everybody!". Nailing your hot sister is that's situation's equivalent of the preacher's kid smoking a cigarette to fit in and prove he's not a sissy.
talking smack!
There's more to Jolie than alleged brother fucking though. She's also had some kind of history of substance abuse. Particularly there's smoke talk that Jolie liked her some smack back in the day (Jolie has spoken openly about her drug use in the past, and in an interview in 1998, she said: 'I've done just about every drug possible. Coke, heroin, ecstasy, LSD, everything... Those drugs can be dangerous if you don't go into it positively. I gave them up long ago.'). Some video of Jolie, apparently stoned, even surfaced of the actress talking about how many pets she killed off in her formative years (Hollywood actresses have such a destructive growth cycle that it's practically more destructive than growth!). Jolie defenders pointed out that the actresses admissions involved accidental deaths of pets, and not a deliberate holocaust of innocents. That doesn't make her a bad person - the defenders maintain. No one has yet asked directly whether or not it might make her a bad mom!
still crazy after all these years?
The smack talk does have Dr. Drew thinking though. Now that is mind if free from concerns bout Lindsay Lohan's well being, Drew is speculating about the future of Brangelina! Many of us can't fathom their present, let alone any possible future. Most celeb marriages are over faster than you can say Scarlett Johansson, and even if you're Mr. Sexy Ryan Reynolds (that World's Sexiest title was bound to cause problems, especially since Scarlett probably thinks that Reynolds is only really seen as sexy because she did him. So why should he be getting the glory?). So why are those two still around? Perhaps because Jennifer Aniston's career needs them. Probably out of sheer bloody mindedness. Jolie won't leave and give anyone the gratification of saying "I said so!"
Brangelina is going to be a big deal one way or another - predicting the obvious
Dr. Drew is looking forward. Drew is predicting a break up, and he says that when it comes it's gonna be nuclear! In wake of the recent The Tourist premier Drew gave a pretty blunt assessment of the actress in which he rushes in where even foul mouthed blabberer Chelsea Handler (Dennis Miller in his former career as a wag might've described her act as "Vodka & Tourette's Syndrome") might fear to tread. When the topic of Angelina came up recently Dr. Drew said the following:
'There's no such thing as '"I was a heroin addict." That doesn't exist in nature. Something is going on with [her] addiction. Or she's in recovery. And I don't see any evidence that's the case. So we've got one person who's a heroin addict. Which is a chronic lifelong condition, period. We have another person who has said things like, "Well, Jennifer [Aniston] was into long-term relationships, that's just her way of looking at things." I mean, that demeaning attitude towards other people's emotions. Now put those two people together and you have got a really volatile situation. And they're constantly creating things to weld themselves together. Which is only going to serve to make a more nuclear eruption. There will be some sort of meltdown that will be phenomenal when it does happen.'
It's not all bad for Jolie. Her The Tourist flick did get some Golden Globe noms - for Best Comedy. Jolie even picked up a Best Actress nom, for a flick nominated as a comedy. NOw The Tourist was billed as a romantic comedy. Jolie does how that she can at least see the humour in that, replying on being told of her com nom she ROFL'd laughing. "It's the first time that I've been in the comedic category so it's new for me." she said. Rom com is more an Aniston thing. How else can you respond to a very public slap in the face (she hasn't be on the World's Hottest lists in about ten years - and that's enough time for 5 Megan Fox's to have come and gone! This says something about her standing in the larger entertainment community).
PS. Tuning your bullshit detector: Note that Dr. Drew didn't say when Jolie & Pitt would bust up, only that when they would it would be a big deal. Since they've made a big deal out of their relationship - it's been Jolie's main career for about ten years, & is supporting her film career during the awkward period - it's a safe guess that they'll make a big deal out of their split.
