Wonder Woman details released

comic economics

There's been a lot of talking about Wonder Woman over the past few years. That's largely because comic based entertainment related projects are a license to print money nowadays. Some of the top grossing all time earners in recent years have been projects like Spiderman 1-3, the X Men series - in which theatrical heavy weights like Sir Ian McKellan and Sir Patrick Stewart weren't too proud to appear in, and of course Ironman 1 & 2 , which brought back Robert Downey's career (hang in there Charlie Sheen). Even 3rd tier titles like ghost Rider - done by Nic Cage, turned a healthy profit. In other words to a decent comic cover and you're guaranteed a No 1 box office opening. If you're a professional actor and aspiring thespian they won't do you're career any harm either, unless you're Megan Fox. Come on and come of it Meggers - even Anne Hathaway wasn't too stuck up to take on Catwoman!

shady beginnings

Now among comic book characters few names are quite as big as Diana of Themyscira, also known as Wonder Woman! For those of you who don't know about her in detail, here's some basic facts: she was created by psych prof William Moulton Marston back while he was teaching at Vassar and perfecting the lie detector (that's right - Wonder Woman & the polygraph share a common paternity!). WMM wrote under the name Charles Moulton 'cause he didn't want it get around academic circles that he was writing comics on the side line. Not that there was any shame in comics, but back in the Moulton Marston days Wonder Woman verged on soft porn and was littered with BSMD. Wonder Woman was bound and gagged in almost every issue - that is when she wasn't being saddled, bridled & horse ridden, dangled upside down and tickled,or being subjected to countless other exotic tortures. In fact some of her erotic misadventures were so over the top that she eventually got parodied by cartoonist Eric Stanton in his soft porn series Blunder Broad!

bound to be free

Marston was an Ivy Leaguer, so in addition to subjecting Wonder Woman to frequent bondage, he also gave her a mythological pedigree. That allowed her to get respectable - once she wriggled out of her chains and spit out the gag. She was a member of the legendary race of Amazons - which WMM mistakenly identified as Greek, Amazons actually came from the north east of Greece and were closer to Serbo-Croatian or Ukrainian (think Milla Jovovich!) - and was on a first name basis with several gods and goddess. Comics loved this kind of literary credibility. So by the 1980's - in the age of Perez & Jiminenz, she reached a kind of Golden Age that many hard core fans still pine for. Marston's leggy legacy continues right up to today - helped largely by an alleged codicil in his will insisting that DC continue to publish Wonder Woman every year or lose their copyright claims on the character.

is Wonder Woman an easy score?

So what with the sudden rush for a easy score by covering comics it was only natural that sooner or later the powers that be would get around to Wonder Woman. She is that combo of pop culture icon and sheer sex appeal that made a star out of previously unknown Lynda Carter. That old series was beyond camp and yet continues to be a fan favorite in syndication. So if the right person could develop the project the right way, and especially find the right woman to fill those bright red boots, success, stardom, and a super pay day would be assured. Some, like Megan Fox, didn't want to be a star that way. Meggers called Wonder Woman lame, then continued to do dialogue with a talking space car called Bumblebee (Invisible Plane looks more plausible already). Other were eager for the part. Directors liked the idea too. So after a few false starts at the movie studios, Diana eventually landed on her feet @ NBC.

David Kelley, husband of Catwoman Michelle Pfeiffer and creator of Ally MacBeal, decided he liked the whole Wonder Woman idea. Furthermore he announced to the world that he was giving Wonder Woman an upgrade from the old cheesy Lynda Carter schtick and into a strong independent contemporary woman - just the type he likes. That sent everyone speculating about what exactly Kelley was gonna do to her - like redesign her costume, cut her hair, or God knows what other possibilities. Well for the nervous Nellies there's finally some good news. Kelley has completed a preliminary pilot script.

Though DK has tried to keep the whole script under wraps, Wonder Woman is a hard gal to keep wrapped up, for long anyway. So some of the salient details have leaked. For instance Wonder Woman 2.0 is gonna be a high powered LA executive who fights crime in her spare time. Story followers will have gathered that much. What you might not be aware of is that her executive position is as Diana Themyscira, head of Themyscira Industries. So like Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne, Wonder Woman now has her own multinational organization! Diana Themyscira is her Wonder Woman alter ego - and everyone knows that one is also the other. When she's not either of those she pulls her long glossy blue black hair up in a bun, dons some sexy Sarah Palin style specs and sneaks around as Diana Prince. No one knows that Diana Prince is Wonder Woman, except for possibly her arch enemy.

Every super hero needs an enemy and in this case Wonder Woman's rival is going to be Veronica Cale. Fans will remember Ronnie from back in the day. This time she's been revived as a sort of mad scientist and rogue bitch with a stick up her ass bee up her bonnet about Diana. Some other old acquaintances will be back to like Etta Candy in a supporting role. She won't be best friend, since the side kick role goes to Mindy Mayer. Diana & Mindy will get together for girlie sleep over where they eat cheese cake and sing power pop ballads - no kidding(songs in the script are: One Way or Another by Blondie; Wonder of You by Jeffrey McDonald; Golddigger by Kanye West; Bad Romance by Lady Gaga; Last of the American Girls and Extraordinary Girl by Green Day; Pepinot by Les Choristes; I Only Know How to Love by Christina Aguilera)! Steve Trevor will be back. He still is the guy who discovered Themyscira and brought Diana back to civilization, but that's where it ends. In this version he's the ex who dropped Diana after using his charms to sooth the savage breast.

GIFSoup

brand new spin on the same likable gal

Now before you say "WTF?" there's something you've got to know. This new spin on Wonder Woman is deliberate. It's been planned a as a goofy comedy-drama. So there's gonna be a lot of tongue in cheek. It's about damned time too. The best comic characters always incorporate humor. In his Olden Golden Days Superman was practically a sit com, until he devolved into icon status (with mistaken identity, silly disguises, and comic predicaments - you can see how Supes became Jerry Seinfeld's inspiration. Plenty of us wish that Kal El would get his funny bone back, too). Diana always lent herself to parody too - but he undeniable humor was never really explored in the comic - except perhaps during the Taco Whiz period. Diana has broken away from her soft porn bondage origins; giving her some humor might allow her to take the next step in her development; from stuffy icon spouting preachy slogans to someone more rounded, human, and ultimately enjoyable. I certainly look forward to enjoying Diana!

speaking of the soundtrack

Celebrity Smack Down

from falling short at the height of fame to aftertaste of the month

Trash talking is part of a celebrity's job. When it comes to talking smack few were as good as Megan Fox - back when she was a celebrity. Meggers had an opinion on almost any subject you cared to name, and the young lady wasn't shy about sharing them either. Whether it was speculating that she might be a horny man trapped in a hot chick's body, a hot man trapped in a horny chick's body, or that actresses really prostitutes instead of virtually prostitutes, or even secretly prostitutes; Meggers shot from the lip (I don't think we'll ever forget her "I'm a lesbian, in theory" comment).

Fox paus

Now Fox has said plenty of stuff in her 2 1/2 years of over exposed celebrity. So much that it's hard to keep track (although there are websites devoted to keeping track of her "Foxisms"), yet the thing that follows her around are those Wonder Woman statements she made back when every twitchy fan boy with a secret stash of Powergirl comics under the mattress dreamed that Megan might play the Amazing Amazon.

purported promotional poster phtomanip

If you'll recall, back at the height of Meggers fame (She used to be the next Angelina Jolie), a photmanip purporting to be an official studio promotional poster made the rounds on the Internet showing Meggers as Wonder Woman. The hoax was taken seriously for about 24 hours, and had tongues wagging that Fox was being tapped to play Wonder Woman in a feature film. Fanboys freaked out (if you can call constant tweaky masturbation freaking out). Megan was the hottest actress in Hollywood and it only seemed right that she should play the hottest comic book superheroine.

no small parts please - big mouth vs big challenge

It didn't seem right to Megan. Apart from the fact that Wonder Woman is 6 ft tall, and Megan is 5'3" with a push, Fox had another objection. She didn't like the character. In fact in an interview Meggers said the following about one of the comics most beloved icons:

“She flies around in her invisible jet and her weaponry is a lasso that makes you tell the truth. I just don’t get it. Somebody has a big challenge on their hands, whoever takes that role. But I don’t want to do it.”

Megan is never one to leave you guessing about what she's thinking.

Wonder Woman 2.0

Now some one else has decided to share their thoughts about the matter. With David Kelley's announcement that he plans to bring Wonder Woman back to TV, everyone wanted to know what Lynda Carter thought. Carter is very keen on the idea. In fact she has stated that:

“I spoke to him several weeks ago and he is perfect for it because he will really give the characters life. It’s not just going to be a cartoon or a comic book thing, which is really what I think we tried to do.”

Wonder Trashed

However when asked if she liked Fox for the role, Carter was less enthusiastic. Says Lynda - "Megan Fox actually kind of trashed Wonder Woman. She said she thought it was dumb, like ‘what’s the big whoop making people tell the truth.’ I like her, I just thought she shouldn’t trash Wonder Woman.”

Carter gets miffed

Now this has been reported as Carter slamming Fox. However you'll note that Carter never said that she disliked Fox. On the contrary she said that she liked her. In fact she never even went so far as to say that Fox shouldn't get the role. She just said that Fox should watch her mouth a little more. She even said it very nicely. When you consider that Fox's most notable role to date has involved dialogue with a talking car called Bumblebee, it does make her invisible plane comments sound a little - oh what's the word - lame. Some might say that she could take a few lessons from Carter on how to talk in public.

the indignity industry

BTW considering the way Fox's career has been going lately, and anyone can have a slump, she might do well to consider the David Kelley Wonder Woman project. It would spare her and new husband Brian Austin Green the indignity of appearing in a reality TV series.

"Oprah's Not Gay" - says suspected lover

Suffering Sappho

Oprah Winfrey is one of America's most prominent asexual celebrities. She's right up there with Amy Sedaris. Since coming into the public eye Oprah has had a long term on again off again relationship with motivational speaker Stedman Graham. Graham is tall, rugged, successful, and kind of good looking - so naturally people began wondering why the relationship didn't go anywhere. Now in entertainment that kind of speculation usually leads to one area - gay rumours.

going nowhere and waiting to come

When Gayle King came out of the wood work it only added fuel to the speculation fires. Oprah seemed to be spending a lot more time with her new BFF that with her significant other - Stedman. Oprah & Gayle went on road trips and various other mid life adventures together. They even crashed some weddings. When 2 unattached adults of the same gender start spending all their free time together, naturally tongues start to wags as eye brows start to raise.

the rumours of my sex life have been greatly exagerated

Unlike Tom Cruise - who went ballistic on Oprah's couch over his professed love for Katie Holmes - Oprah has never ever seen fit to directly address the rumours about her personal life. That does Oprah much credit for good sense. Nobody believes denials in this cynical age. Yet if you don't address it then it's not an issue (if you can't quit while you're ahead then at least shut up before you say too much; like TV's David Letterman just managed to do). Besides look what the spin control did to Cruise. That doesn't mean that Ms. King might not open up and talk about things from time to time.

"So what's the sore?" - "Let me hum a few bars to see if you know it."

Gayle was recently asked by TMZ what the score was with her and Oprah. Are they just 2 single ladies sharing a mid life crisis, or is there more going on than we realize. King took the opportunity to set the record straight by assuring TMZ that Winfrey is not one bit gay. Let's have a look at that brief video clip:

They fish together ... they camp together ... they shack up together .... but Oprahs' BFF Gayle King still insists the famous lesbian rumors are purely "ridiculous."

the Ozone

Well there you have it - sort of. Ms Gayle is obviously so straight that she wouldn't know a gay person if she were being bitten on the ass interviewed by one. That goes double for her boss. The comments were very non committal too, so I'm sure that the Big O will be pleased. No one talks for Lady O, not unless they have first received specific instructions about what they can and can not say. God help them if they screw that up too.

So that explains everything. I'm glad too. This lesbian tittle tattle was really getting way out of hand. Maybe now Oprah and Gayle can get back to living their lives and enjoying such non lesbian activities s fly fishing together. PS I hear that Oprah bought the lake before she and Gayle arrived, perhaps to make sure that meddlesome busybodies didn't get the wrong idea about two single 50 something gals fly fishing together. You know how people can talk!



Now here's a little post Halloween treat. As gossip followers know celebrities love dressing up and going out. Halloween provides a golden opportunity for this. So every year there are a plethora of pics from various celebrity costume parties. This year I've posted the pick of the litter - aspiring actress Julia Voth (Bitchslap) as Wonder Woman - now that's a treat!


Julia Voth is available for casual stalking by way of facebook.

Comeback kids

'Wound modern, aged band-waggon.'

Yesterday's post covered the sad strange tale of Randy and Evi Quaid. They are the former B List entertainers who ran afoul of a Hollywood business cult called the Starwhackers, and wound up having to run to Canada to seek political asylum, and to speak out freely on organized crime in Hollywood. It's sounds funny when you put it that way. That's probably why everyone laughed about it. Though people laughed, they couldn't help paying attention. The tale just kept getting weirder with accusations that starwhackers in suits had killed Heath Ledger and others for the bottom line. They even produced a hit list of names like Britney Spears (currently being black mailed by her bodyguard) and Lindsay Lohan (currently being held against her will in rehab, but being charged with the bill for treatment!). People laughed, but we also believed Balloon Boy's dad, and that chick who splashed her own face with acid outside Starbuck's and then claimed a black woman attacked her.

running a shit treadmill - not literally, figuratively!

Since people didn't believe a word of this, and since the Quaids kept on talking and talking and talking about it; their credibility kept tumbling farther and farther down the toilet. That's bad since the Quaids allegedly owe a lot of money, and are gonna owe even more in legal fees. Randy last worked seriously in Brokeback Mountain, but turned around and sued the producers for a bigger piece of the action when the film did better than expected. Perhaps that's when he first antagonized the Starwhackers. Short answer is that with nothing coming in and plenty going out Randy is gonna need some kind of good paying work lined up and soon. However with his current image troubles the only plausible line they could get into would be reality TV. "On The Lam" with Randy and Evi Quaid - think of it like Dog the Bounty Hunter but from the other side of the looking glass.

IN Hollywood you can recover from anything - even TV!

Still you can't count anyone out. About 5 years or so ago Robert Downey Jr was considered a done deal. Like many troubled performers of today, Downey's then substance issues left him unreliable and unemployable. This even though the talented actor had earned an Oscar nomination for his brilliant work in Chaplin. A brief stint on Alley McBeal didn't help his creditability either; since for a former A List movie star to resort to TV is the equivalent of hitting the skids! "I sold the mansion, I asked friends for money, and God help me I even took some TV work!" - "Oh my! I had no idea that things were that bad!" Yet that was back in the days when Tom Cruise was the #1 action hero and Mel Gibson was Hollywood's most beloved leading man. A lot can change in a relatively short time!

'Burned, goddamned wonga-wonga'

Some times things don't change in any time. In fact the remain more the same than ever and yet things turn out OK (a thought on tonight's American elections?). This would be the case with Charlie Sheen. Now Sheen has had so many brushes with serious trouble that it's a wonder how he managed to stay off of the Starwhackers' celebrity hit lists. In fact far from being on nay hit lists Charlie is so waterproof that you'd think he made a deal with darkness or something.

bad trips and strange bedfellows

Charlie has had a long history of booze, pills, hookers loose women of ill fame, and brushes with the law. His split with ex Denise Richards was one of the ugliest that Hollywood had seen, and it's seen some doozies! They have since made up but now Charlie has gone on to divorce his current Brooke Mueller. IN fact Charlie had violated his probation from a previous incident with Mueller (The Christmas Day Knife Fight) - with 8 days left - during his current misadventure.

laughing all the way to the nut house

That misadventure occurred while Sheen was out for a date with his ex and the two kids. Being Charlie Sheen he invited a hooker/porn star to meet him during this family time. Not that Charlie let the worlds collide in some seamy mess. He took the hooker to the Plaza Hotel for some fun time. Fun time included booze, drugs, a flip out, $7000 in damage to the hotel room, a trip in a police car, and a detention in a psych ward. Oh yeah, and he also violated his probation with 8 days left on the clock - as previously mentioned!

So you'd think that Charlie's goose was nuked by now. Well if that's what you're thinking then you can stop. Charlie is out of the nut house, complete with supportive words of confidence from Denise Richards "Charlie's one in a million, who makes 20 million a year!" What's more he's back on the set of his hit TV series Two and a Half Men!

winning the numbers game

Now if that sounds amazing then just stop to think about it. Last week, when Charlie's personal life went into full tilt, his TV show registered a 13. 6 million viewers, which is an increase of 7% in that very important 18-49 male demographic! What does that statistical gobbledygook mean in plain English? Last year it meant $155.1 million in ad revenue for CBS, and it also made Charlie Sheen the highest paid actor on TV.

Charlie has standards "I'm no Andy Dick!"

So as long as Charlie can keep the number up he can flip out as much as he likes. Just as long as no one gets hurt. Or if anyone does get hurt that they were asking for it. The industry does have standards, in a Dexter sort of way. I just hope that Randy & Evi Quaid can live with that. If they can then they might have a professional future. If they can really get with it then they could have a professional future well after their personal future runs out! That's fame for ya baby!

BTW anyone really can make a come back in Hollywood. Remember when Lynda Carter did Wonder Woman back in the 70's? Well not only did Lynda make a tremendous comeback from alcoholism and scandal (her husband was implicated in the BCCI banking scandal back in the 80-'s along with his law partner Clark Clifford. Some of you might have heard of that guy but to brief the rest, he was the guy who ran the Democratic Party back in the days when Sen Joseph Kennedy used to call him "sir"), but Wonder Woman is poised to make a come back too.

Over 30 years since a live action Wonder Woman series first came to TV producer David E Kelley - creator of Ally McBeal (Calista Flockhart owes him so much; she wouldn't have Harrison Ford without him!) plans to bring the comic book warrior princess back tot he small screen. He announced the intention a few months back. Now there's even a name associated with the part - Tanit Pheoenix. She's a South African model that isn't half bad looking, but no Wonder Woman. Never mind, the rumours help build interest in the project. While it gains more and more support Kelley can go on to find some one better suited to the part, like Julia Voth!