Comeback kids

'Wound modern, aged band-waggon.'

Yesterday's post covered the sad strange tale of Randy and Evi Quaid. They are the former B List entertainers who ran afoul of a Hollywood business cult called the Starwhackers, and wound up having to run to Canada to seek political asylum, and to speak out freely on organized crime in Hollywood. It's sounds funny when you put it that way. That's probably why everyone laughed about it. Though people laughed, they couldn't help paying attention. The tale just kept getting weirder with accusations that starwhackers in suits had killed Heath Ledger and others for the bottom line. They even produced a hit list of names like Britney Spears (currently being black mailed by her bodyguard) and Lindsay Lohan (currently being held against her will in rehab, but being charged with the bill for treatment!). People laughed, but we also believed Balloon Boy's dad, and that chick who splashed her own face with acid outside Starbuck's and then claimed a black woman attacked her.

running a shit treadmill - not literally, figuratively!

Since people didn't believe a word of this, and since the Quaids kept on talking and talking and talking about it; their credibility kept tumbling farther and farther down the toilet. That's bad since the Quaids allegedly owe a lot of money, and are gonna owe even more in legal fees. Randy last worked seriously in Brokeback Mountain, but turned around and sued the producers for a bigger piece of the action when the film did better than expected. Perhaps that's when he first antagonized the Starwhackers. Short answer is that with nothing coming in and plenty going out Randy is gonna need some kind of good paying work lined up and soon. However with his current image troubles the only plausible line they could get into would be reality TV. "On The Lam" with Randy and Evi Quaid - think of it like Dog the Bounty Hunter but from the other side of the looking glass.

IN Hollywood you can recover from anything - even TV!

Still you can't count anyone out. About 5 years or so ago Robert Downey Jr was considered a done deal. Like many troubled performers of today, Downey's then substance issues left him unreliable and unemployable. This even though the talented actor had earned an Oscar nomination for his brilliant work in Chaplin. A brief stint on Alley McBeal didn't help his creditability either; since for a former A List movie star to resort to TV is the equivalent of hitting the skids! "I sold the mansion, I asked friends for money, and God help me I even took some TV work!" - "Oh my! I had no idea that things were that bad!" Yet that was back in the days when Tom Cruise was the #1 action hero and Mel Gibson was Hollywood's most beloved leading man. A lot can change in a relatively short time!

'Burned, goddamned wonga-wonga'

Some times things don't change in any time. In fact the remain more the same than ever and yet things turn out OK (a thought on tonight's American elections?). This would be the case with Charlie Sheen. Now Sheen has had so many brushes with serious trouble that it's a wonder how he managed to stay off of the Starwhackers' celebrity hit lists. In fact far from being on nay hit lists Charlie is so waterproof that you'd think he made a deal with darkness or something.

bad trips and strange bedfellows

Charlie has had a long history of booze, pills, hookers loose women of ill fame, and brushes with the law. His split with ex Denise Richards was one of the ugliest that Hollywood had seen, and it's seen some doozies! They have since made up but now Charlie has gone on to divorce his current Brooke Mueller. IN fact Charlie had violated his probation from a previous incident with Mueller (The Christmas Day Knife Fight) - with 8 days left - during his current misadventure.

laughing all the way to the nut house

That misadventure occurred while Sheen was out for a date with his ex and the two kids. Being Charlie Sheen he invited a hooker/porn star to meet him during this family time. Not that Charlie let the worlds collide in some seamy mess. He took the hooker to the Plaza Hotel for some fun time. Fun time included booze, drugs, a flip out, $7000 in damage to the hotel room, a trip in a police car, and a detention in a psych ward. Oh yeah, and he also violated his probation with 8 days left on the clock - as previously mentioned!

So you'd think that Charlie's goose was nuked by now. Well if that's what you're thinking then you can stop. Charlie is out of the nut house, complete with supportive words of confidence from Denise Richards "Charlie's one in a million, who makes 20 million a year!" What's more he's back on the set of his hit TV series Two and a Half Men!

winning the numbers game

Now if that sounds amazing then just stop to think about it. Last week, when Charlie's personal life went into full tilt, his TV show registered a 13. 6 million viewers, which is an increase of 7% in that very important 18-49 male demographic! What does that statistical gobbledygook mean in plain English? Last year it meant $155.1 million in ad revenue for CBS, and it also made Charlie Sheen the highest paid actor on TV.

Charlie has standards "I'm no Andy Dick!"

So as long as Charlie can keep the number up he can flip out as much as he likes. Just as long as no one gets hurt. Or if anyone does get hurt that they were asking for it. The industry does have standards, in a Dexter sort of way. I just hope that Randy & Evi Quaid can live with that. If they can then they might have a professional future. If they can really get with it then they could have a professional future well after their personal future runs out! That's fame for ya baby!

BTW anyone really can make a come back in Hollywood. Remember when Lynda Carter did Wonder Woman back in the 70's? Well not only did Lynda make a tremendous comeback from alcoholism and scandal (her husband was implicated in the BCCI banking scandal back in the 80-'s along with his law partner Clark Clifford. Some of you might have heard of that guy but to brief the rest, he was the guy who ran the Democratic Party back in the days when Sen Joseph Kennedy used to call him "sir"), but Wonder Woman is poised to make a come back too.

Over 30 years since a live action Wonder Woman series first came to TV producer David E Kelley - creator of Ally McBeal (Calista Flockhart owes him so much; she wouldn't have Harrison Ford without him!) plans to bring the comic book warrior princess back tot he small screen. He announced the intention a few months back. Now there's even a name associated with the part - Tanit Pheoenix. She's a South African model that isn't half bad looking, but no Wonder Woman. Never mind, the rumours help build interest in the project. While it gains more and more support Kelley can go on to find some one better suited to the part, like Julia Voth!