Now for some news that's refreshingly toxic!
Some people say that plastic surgery is an epidemic in the entertainment industry (like Internet blogging in journalism?). Closer to the truth is that it's reached toxic proportions (like Twitter as a news source?).What the Fux is he talking about?
If you think that's some kind of blogramtic hyperbole or something, then what do you call it when a person has had so much shit and foreign substances injected into their body in the name of youth, beauty, but basically career that when a snake bites them, the snake dies? Now lest you accuse me of some kind of blogramtic hypothetical example or something then let me assure you that there is nothing hypothetical about it and that blogramtic is just some word that I made up while stoned! The rest of the bizarre shit above is probably just misspelling! Now on to the bizarre shit below!
verbiage on herbage
Back to the Beauty and the Beast mishap. It involves an Israeli actress called Orit Fux. By Actress I think that she's some sort of adult film performer of the kind that could easily get promoted to Charlie Sheen goddess status. Impending reality TV divinity aside, she also had a Biblical type run in with a creepy creature that left viewers snaky. Now let's cut the damned verbiage (speaking of which I have no word on whether Fux name sounds like it spells)!
Fux on TV
Orit was performing some funky little number on Spanish TV that involved her showing off her surgically enhanced tits. Now these things are whoppers, but just so viewers would pay some extra attention producers thought that it would be just spiffy to get her to wrap a snake around them. The phallic implications alone made it a good idea! Just because something is a good idea doesn't mean that it's worth trying. This Jackass addendum to Murphy's Law goes double when you're talking about the entertainment industry, where things can go dangerously wrong. Especially when they're not though through.
dangerous curves
Dangerously wrong is what happened during this stunt. Apparently Ms. Fux got so carried away with enthusiasm over the stunt that she took things to a dangerous extreme. Ms Fux tried to get overly friendly with the startled serpent and went in for a kiss. In so doing the venomous bugger got a little too close to Ms. Fux's big chemical laden bosom. So spooked, as if by a sudden eclipse, and perhaps intrigued by the rare opportunity it was presented with, the beast lunged and sunk it's fangs into one of Ms Fux's two most prized assets.
booby trap - choke on this
Well there was some screaming and hollering in Spanish by producers. The were pretty excited and most of the words were "titties". Ms. Fux grimaced a little but then like the season and apparently hard bitten pro that she is, plucked the beast loose and then began carrying on with the photo shoot as if normal. Despite Fux's pluck and enthusiasm the whole thing was immediately or eventually stopped - or at least as soon as some one had the bright idea to post the whole fiasco on youtube. Now here's that eyeful!
what's in your melons honey, agent orange?
Well there you go - the creature saw that great gaping gob bearing down on it and lashed out in self defense. Perhaps it was just worried about where the mouth had been. In any case it was a bad mistake for the snake. Not because the beast faced the fate of so many beast which bite men -execution. The creature was not alive long enough to stand trial. It seems that Fux's boob was so slogged with sludge that the snake died after receiving the fateful mouth. That's right, the snake bite her and then died of silicone poisoning (it did make a last request for faith based rehab, but didn't make it)! As for the bite victim, Fux is alive and well and basking in Internet notoriety. No word on whether PETA is planning to take up the cause against Fux. Should they be considering it then they might want to be warned about biting off more than they can chew! Speaking of which Lady Gaga is curently
