one stone short of a pile
Every so often some model or actress is not content with beauty & undeserved accomplishment; they want to know everything too. Sharon Stone used to claim to be a member of Mensa, and play chess games in public restaurants. She'd go in with a friend, pick a seat and place her order. Then she'd complain about the service being to slow and spread out the chess set. By the time the meal arrived, often promptly, Prof. Sharon would insist that the servers set up the meal around the chess board; because she was deeply immersed in her smart persons game and couldn't be distracted.Then Mensa revealed that they had no record of Stone ever being a member of their organization. Plus evidence of her claimed 162 IQ was harder to come by than Barack Obama's birth certificate. So the chess board disappeared. Stone is one of many such examples, right up to Gwenyth GOOP Paltrow opening up a website because you need to know how much better than you she is at everything.
I have something to share with the world - my opinion!
Then of course there's Angelina Jolie who feels the need to write for the Economist and meddle in international politics. So she's Hollywood's #1 busy body (I'm waiting for the inevitable day when she calls child protective services on a neighbor, and it comes out 2 weeks later that she herself is an unfit parent! - "I thought no one would notice my glass house if I threw enough rocks!" might be a possible explanation in that case.). Considering her forays into the world of journalism, some of us wish that she's concentrate more on Middle East Peace and the Economy. The only catch in that is journalism is a relatively harmless pass time, where as if you fuck up international diplomacy you're featured on CNN (the great thing about journalism is that it provides an opportunity to use other people's failings as a means of creative expression with out actually learning anything from those failings!).
Boobs moves up in the world!
Now it seems that there's a new latest and greatest addition to the 'what the world needs now' list. This notable is none other than Gisele Bundchen. Bundchen started life as "The Boobs From Brazil". That's what people in the fashion industry called her because of her most prized assets. Besides Elle MacPherson already had the moniker of "The Body", so Bundchen would have to be content to specialize, for awhile.
I guess when you make a shit load of money for being a pair of buckets hanging off of an over extended ladder (she raked in over $17 mill last year and that was a slow year for her), you've got something to prove to the world. Something like you're not just a body without a brain. Gisele makes up for this with her mouth, but not in a smart or effective way. She works her Brady hole by expressing flaky and outlandish opinions of the "I know better, and probably even best" variety.
Like the time she had her son Benjamin and went around acting like she was the first woman in the history of the world to ever give birth before. She was giving a lot of interviews to the effect of "I don't know why all these silly women need sedatives and a team of surgeons to give birth! I just did some yoga and exercise, to keep myself in my usual top form. then I prepared myself mentally for the ordeal with a little mediation and pop - no problem. I didn't feel a thing!".Booby Trap
While Bundchen was coming off like some kind of Wagnerian super heroine run amok - Bundigard: The Jaws of Life; others were speculating about what the hell had gotten into her. Was this a case of German efficiency again rearing it's ugly head? Have Gisele's nether regions received so much traction action in the past that she really can't feel anything, perhaps because friction has worn the nerve endings off? Or could this be a developing case of Megan Fox style hoof in mouth disease from another pretty girl with something to prove?
Boobage out of bondage
Sadly Dizzy Gissy wouldn't shut up. She went on to expound on the Science of Motherhood with more thoughtless and unfortunate public statements. Like she only breast feeds little Benjamin - and not just to give his future girlfriends inadequacy issues either. She considers it to be essential to the development of young Wunderkin to the point that it's tantamount to child abuse for a mother to with hold the boob. That's even if that boob ain't from the Vaterlund by way of Brazil, too! The Breast Nazi went even further and said that if it were up to her mothers would be forced to give up there milk to their suckling infants, maybe even with the invention of some special group of Breast Police! The way she was running her mouth you'd think that the poor girl was competing for the Noble Booby Prize.
'I wanted to be very aware and present during the birth... I didn't want to be drugged up.
'So I did a lot of preparation, I did yoga and meditation, so I managed to have a very tranquil birth at home.'
Soon after, Bundchen caused controversy by declaring that breastfeeding should be a 'worldwide law.'
The synthetics-obsessed model told Harper's Bazaar: 'Some people here [in the US] think they don't have to breastfeed, and I think "Are you going to give chemical food to your child when they are so little?"
'I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.'
She later apologised for her comments saying: ' Becoming a new mom has brought a lot of questions, I feel like I am in a constant search for answers on what might be the best for my child.'
you scream, I scream, we all scream "Sun Screen!"
Anyway for anyone who's still reading the other shoe has dropped. It's dropped out of Gisele's mouth, probably because her feet spend so much time there. This time Gisele is venturing off the topic of motherhood and farther a field into Gwenyth Paltrow's general lifestyle turf (you realize - this means war). It's was only natural, I suppose, that such an Ubermom would eventual tire of the topic and need other things to occupy her heroic interest! For one thing Gisele is concerned about sun screen. She's not concerned in the normal sensible sense of people getting sick. Gisele is concerned in the flaky opinionated celebrity sense - that is she's afraid sunscreen is full of toxic chemicals.if you can't be a model then at least you can work the night shift!
According to Gisele sun screen contains poisons, that if smeared on your skin, even the common course stuff you and I have, and not the really nice stuff she wears around - could make you very sick. 'I cannot put this poison on my skin,' the 30-year-old said. 'I do not use anything synthetic.' To that end she advises people to go out in the sun before 8 AM, or wait until late in the afternoon. Simply straightforward practical advice anyone might use - if they keep supermodel hours (even show followed by an alight bash). For the rest of the world those are vampire hours. You can almost imagine Gisele stumbling home from some fashion blowout in the we hours of the dawn, stopping before her apartment door to take a breath and clear her head, and then thinking to herself "This feels so good, I wonder why I'm the only one who's thought of doing this?"
experts are concerned about common sense, and to a lesser extent UV Rays
Now Bundchen's latest public tongue wagging has some people concerned about the effect of her voice on common sense (and since these people are experts and not models, their opinions carry less weight). These are people like Dolival Loao, head of dermatology at Brazil's National Cancer Institute. Loao said: 'Sunscreen prevents damage to the skin and is of fundamental importance for the prevention of cancer.' He added: 'This is not any poison, when a public person makes a statement like this, it creates confusion.' Congratulations Gisele, we knew you were special but now you "this is not any person" status is backed by expert opinion! Although if he's really concerned about Gisele's influence on the public he needs to get out of the lab more.
don't get burned by listening to celebrities
So the experts think that Gisele is really 'something else', but what's the word on sunscreen? For the record this comes out of the UK - where naturally they know all about sunlight. It comes out so rarely that when it does Britons gather round and pay very close attention. Anyway Jessica Harris, of Cancer Research UK said: 'Using sunscreen with at least SPF15 can help to protect your skin, along with spending time in the shade and covering up with clothing.' She also reassured Bundchen saying: 'Sunscreens are fully tested before they can be sold and are not harmful to the skin.' So maybe the Brits don't know everything about sunlight, but give Ms. Harris credit for some scientific awareness!
are Gisele's problems more than skin deep?
So it's official: sunscreen is good, and Bundchen is an "ignorant, sanctimonious cow". I'll be relieved if it's only that simple. Sometimes, when a celebrity starts talking about health, and chemicals, it can be a sign of deeper and more serious issues. Like the presence of a new and wacky belief system. For instance John Travolta's wife claimed publicly that her son's non autism was caused by household cleaners. Now to be clear she wasn't admitting that the poor child had autism - it was a Scientology approved condition called Kawasaki Syndrome; but still cleaners could've caused the autism if he actually had that. Man that makes less sense than Ms. South Carolina trying to find the United States on a map (or George W Bush trying to find weapons of mass destruction, for that matter!). Point is that Kelly Preston is Scio, and that effects how she thinks.
some direct statements a lot of "WTF?"
Jenny McCartney made some similar statements about her own son's autism. Not that she denies the kid has it; she's very direct about that. It's just that she thinks it was caused by vaccinations or something. So no parent should ever have their kid vaccinated now according to her, because it's not like we're back in the days of polio or anything anymore. Now we don't know what sort of belief system that Jenny's bought into; but she's an actress, and lives in LA, so it's a safe bet that she didn't come up with this on her own.
so how big has Gisele's head gotten lately anyways?
So that brings us to the case of Gisele. If this is only some model at the end of her career trying to hang on to attention, then it will be the lesser evil. Worse case scenario is that she's mixed in with some crowd who filled her head with a lot of crap because there was nothing already inside to get in the way. If that's the case, then the real reason Gisele is hanging around out side @ 8 in the morning, and avoiding sun blocking chemicals, could be something as disturbing as this!
if you can't keep it in proportion, then put it in perspective!
It should be mentioned that staring directly at the sun is believed to cause eye damage. The link isn't really proven - like that between lung cancer and smoking - still it's better to be careful. If you must look at a blindingly bright object, then make sure you wear industrial grade sunglasses, or a welder's mask; and put on some damned sun screen! As for Gisele, try not to be too concerned, unless her next public statement is about chemtrails - and Gisele dear, try not to let you head get to big because that'll only make your boobs look smaller.
