pulp fiction
Since this was TV and not the movies, the public was unhappy with the outcome. So the scenario either needed a one armed man, or a 'to be continued' format. Since the Juice couldn't come up with a plausible alternative to his guilt - and anyone who's ever watched TV from Perry Mason to Murder She Wrote realizes that the first step to proving your innocence when accused of a crime that could put you into the penalty box is to find some one else to blame and pin the thing on them! - That left the 'to be continued' option. So we waited for the Juice to get his comeuppance!
follow the money
For awhile it didn't look like that would ever happen. Ron Goldman got some measure of retribution by suing the Juice in civil court. He won a wrongful death settlement to the tune of $33 mill. However he and Nicole Brown's relatives began fighting amongst themselves for the loot - which left a bad taste in every one's mouth. Since it is forbidden by American civil law to use a law suit to financially ruin anyone, that left the Juice with his NFL pension as walking around money. While the Juice hit the links (pressure didn't spoil his game, the way it threw Tiger Woods off!) and hung out with floozies, spectators waited to see how long he could keep getting away with this.
The Juice would never make it to the end zone. The financial squeeze eventually caught up with OJ. He began selling shit to raise funds. The National Enquirer reported that he'd boxed up some of his prized possessions like crystal chandeliers & solid gold humidors - both to cheat Goldman out of collecting on them, and to have them ready for either quick resale or speedy shipment out of the country.
booze & bad company in Vegas
He also began selling sports memorabilia under the table, through a friend, to make ends meet. That's where the trouble ensued. The friend began double crossing OJ: selling the stuff and keeping the money for himself. So the Juice wanted to straighten things out - you know how important it is to see justice done. So while on a trip to Vegas for a friend's wedding (imagine getting married and having OJ show up as a guest!) the combo of booze and bad company set the wheels of karma - or whatever - in motion.
junk in a trunk
OJ was drunk at the bar and bitching about getting double crossed when a few drunken companions convinced him that he didn't have to put up with that. After all he was The Juice and wasn't anyone to be trifled with. So the drunken trio some how got a gun (not surprising - it was in Vegas) and made their way across town to where OJ's treacherous friend was selling his junk out of a motel room. The next thing OJ was waving a gun at the guy and demanding his money while some one - we know not whom - was calling the cops. Much of what transpired got recorded via cell phone, and replayed on TV. Worse still it was replayed at OJ's kidnapping armed robbery trial.
looking for a jail with room for media baggage
Now the whole thing may have smelled of a set up, but OJ followed along. Plus the evidence was stacked up high this time. So OJ had to go down on 12 or 13 charges. He got a 33 years sentence, which makes you think that he was being sentenced for something else other than a fight over sports cards. Upshot was that The Juice was finally gonna start serving some serious jail time (unlike Lindsay Lohan). The only question was where to put him? Though prospective jailers insisted that in their institution OJ would be treated like any other prison, the fact was that he wasn't. He'd be coming with a huge amount of media baggage. So now the problem was where to put him.
the Juice gets Lovelocked
bitchslapped!
Even housed among diddlers and peeping toms OJ somehow managed to get himself in trouble. Reports are coming out that the Juice recently received a jail yard shit knocking! No less an authority than Janet Charleston herself is reporting that OJ took a viscous beating from some fellow inmates. According to the rumors Lovelock is filled with white racists, in addition to child molesters and underwear bandits! It was in this racially and sexually charged environment that the Juice went around boasting about all the white chicks he'd had. Then he went one better and said that after they had been with him they never wanted to do white guys again. Then again he was probably never gonna win friends & influence people in a situation like that anyway!
no press is bad press, but no news is good news
When prison skin heads heard about all this loose talk they decided OJ needed another comeuppance. So they laid in wait for the former Hall of Famer. Then as he left the exercise yard, about 9 of them jumped him. The Juice got such a brutal shit knocking that he had to spend 2 1/2 weeks in the prison infirmary. Though it should be said that about 2 of those weeks were just to keep him away from the other cons. Also it's kind of an embarrassment to the prison - no OJ news could do them any credit- so they wanted to keep it hush hush.
Minimum security - so extra security is gonna cost ya!
You should be glad to hear that the situation is currently under control. Though the Juice is loose - within the electronically monitored confines of his min security facility, he is well protected. He's paying some of his fellow inmates to do body guard duty for him! Since he's probably scared now, they can soak him for plenty, too! So I guess that only leaves us with the question "What next?"
PS Today is Valentine's Day, or VD, and Wondertrash hasn't forgotten about that. So here's a little video treat to take the edge off of the occasion by reminding you that love can be wonderful!
