@least this takes the pressure off of Lindsay Lohan!
getting by on the benefit of the doubt
By now everyone has heard the news about Charlie Sheen. He's been getting more attention than Lindsay Lohan & Mohammar Quadaffi, put together. However to keep you up to speed: Charlie has been going through along steady fuck up every since he was married to Denise Richards. Back then they were at odds about Charlie's refusal to get his daughters immunized (immunization is an Illuminati plot to spread autism), and his odd interests. Odd interests were porn and conspiracies with a side order of prescription pills. Since Charlie and Denise were splitting, and Denise was busy busting up another marriage on the side, every one assumed that she was a greedy manipulative slut. So Charlie got the benefit of the doubt.here we go again
The benefit of the doubt allowed Charlie to get rid of Denise and move on to the next greedy manipulative slut. Their witches' brew of a marriage came to a boil on Christmas (Illuminati Solstice Holiday!) in a Festivus type fuck up that had Charlie holding a knife on either Brooke, or the turkey! Since Mueller was a crack headed whore who'd done coke and gone to rehab while pregnant, no one was going to give her the benefit of the doubt, even if they were less willing to give to Charlie.
Bedlam @ The Hotel Califonrnia
With Brooke out of the way that left Charlie free to his own devices. His own devices included entertaining Denise and the kids while simultaneously fucking whores and trashing hotel rooms. In other words Charlie was flirting with self destruction in a style 60's rock'n'roll martyrs would envy. He trashed a room in the Plaza Hotel, and a frightened porn actress hide in a cupboard. He caused $7000 in damage. He also gave some sleazy girls their first real taste of publicity!
a sudden violent hernia
While everyone else was asking "What next?" and "how far is this gonna go?" the CBS brass were trying to decide what they should do. Charlie is a big boy, and if he likes to party hardy, then how can you tell the guy what to do? You're only his boss, not his mommy. Charlie was making some decisions too. Like having a massive porn & drugs blow out that landed him in the emergency ward with a "hernia". "Hernia" is what you call a sudden violent attack of "celebrity dehydration", or "exhaustion".
rehab with assholes
Charlie was out soon enough, but some how everyone was more concerned with his state of mind than his hernia. Perhaps they missed the point, or maybe they ignored the memo. Anyway CBS finally decided that something had to be done. Since Charlie was reluctant to rehab with assholes under a bridge of trolls, that left the other alternative - hiatus.
Radio Free Tinfoil
At first this was only supposed to be temporary. However a lot of stories started coming out. Like the rumors about the 300 crew members losing their livelihoods. Also that Charlie had blown of rehab to do recovery at home, with hookers and tons of blow. So hiatus started looking less temporary. Then Charlie went nuts on the Alex Jones Show.
Broadcasting to the Tinfoil Nation
If you don't know who Jones is he's a Texas radio personality who got kicked off the air for being too over the top. He's like Les Nessman on speed or something. Anyway Alex went straight on tot he Internet with a conspiracy based radio. After a few spots on Coast to Coast AM Jones was getting a following. That's good cause Alex had tons of important news to share with the world: like fluoride cause brain damage, your light bulbs are spying on you, and wearing tinfoil while watching TV reduces the risk of epileptic seizures -which are a common side effect of Illuminati mind control technology!
I cured it with my mind, so kiss my alpha waves!
AS Charlie increasingly lost touch with reality he became increasingly involved with conspiracy theories. It happens; when life become surreal and difficult, the mind becomes more accepting of a deeper crazy madness behind the method. So with plenty of free time to kill, Charlie began listening more to Jones. He might have ordinarily slutted it up with his porn family but scrutiny made that impossible. A back up of unreleased semen combined with cocaine overload may have lead to what happened next.
flight of the moon bats
Charlie got himself worked up and decided to phone Alex on the air. This is the type of break everyone in media dreams of, so Alex let him right on. He also gave Sheen about 15 minutes ot vent whatever was on his mind. What was on his mind was some pretty disturbing ramblings filled with hyper defensiveness, and some violent symbolism. There were also some pointed remarks about his 2 1/2 Men boss 'Little Hymie Lipschitz'. Here are some excerpts from that interview:
technical difficulties - show canceled due to star's malfunction
Now when that got out Charlie was toast. CBS immediately announced that the show was gone for the rest of the season. Since it was TV's No 1 comedy, it puts extra pressure on the cast and crew of Big Bang Theory! It also has people wondering whether Charlie is in worse shape then they thought. Where as everyone figured hew as just some drug addict party boy, now they fear that the poor fellow may have lost his marbles. So there's a lot of talk about having him committed. That may be why Charlie has fled the country - currently residing in Barbados. That puts him beyond the reach of those who want to intervene in his life.
As of now he's out of the Major League remake, and 2 1/2 Men doesn't look like it has a future either. The Charlie Sheen Story looks like it's gonna knock everything else off of the headlines - stay tuned! Though the show is over, the story is "to be continued"! Many of us would be happy to have the story canceled and get the show back. Hopefully Charlie Sheen, a genuinely talented actor, can find some peace & grace before 'what next' goes 'too far'.
