Jessica Simpson's life has had it's ups & downs. She was the third most popular teen singer in America back in the Britney Spears - Christine Aguilera period. She came back from obscurity by marrying Nick Lachey and participating in a reality TV series with him. Then she went rogue after getting her Dukes of Hazard part. Going rogue meant that while Nick was doing the talk radio rounds insisting that the Newlyweds were still fine, she was holed up in some hotel room getting it on - allegedly - with her costar Johnny Knoxville. That rumor was denied, even though folks on the scene were saying that Knoxville's partner was showing up on set and having a fit about the sleeping arrangements. Apparently Jessica requested the room next to Knoxville. At least she didn't get Knoxed up or anything, but her marriage went kaput.ride 'er, Cowboy!
When her marriage went kaput her career went with it. Jess & Nick were kind of a package deal, and she screwed that up. The public wasn't happy about her loose ways, so she lost a lot of sympathy. What she lost in sympathy she made up in Tony Romo. That was another sad story, as Dallas Cowboys fans blamed the QB's lackluster performance on The Simpson Effect. Some of the coaching staff even considered having Jess banned from games, after opposing fans started showing up to games wearing Jessica Simpson masks in an attempt to freak out Romo. Cowboys management needn't have worried too much. The relationship ran it's inevitable course. After tony got pissed with Jess's constant drinking her dumped her ass in an IHOP parking lot, deep in the middle of Texas and miles from nowhere. A weepy hysterical Simpson then had to arrange for some one to pick her up, and wait several hours bawling in the parking lot.
flat as a pancake on the road to romance
No one knows whether the International House of Pancakes had anything to do with what followed, but Jessica put on a ton of weight. She showed up for some performance - it might have been a chilly cook off country music festival sponsored by KISS FM Florida - wearing mom jeans and looking like silly putty. Now she was not as big as everyone made out, but the jeans did nothing to camouflage her condition. So everyone was talking about how fat she'd got (no one assumed that she was pregnant). She made the cover of some national magazine, sharing it with Pres Obama. The Pres was even obliged to take time away from his Superbowl picks to comment on that during a TV interview!
at least Rahm Emmanuel isn't writing his material anymore
That Obama and his one liners! I'm sure he resented having time taken away from important issues, like who he picked to win. As for Jessica, she may have had some bad experiences with Mr. Sunday, but she was willing to give athletes another chance. That's where Eric Johnson came in.
when you've got no other offers, you a free agent
Eric was not only an athlete, but another football player - a free agent in the NFL. They started dating in May 2010. So they were an time, and were seen all over the place getting
weighty affairs & heavy issues
Jessie's bad karma must not be totally played out yet, because the poor girl has hit another snag on the road to happiness, again. Seems that Mr Johnson has some issues he wants set straight before they tie the knot. The issue, of course, is Jessie's weight. Seems that Jess never totally took it off. Maybe sobriety didn't agree with her; and once the nausea finally went away she might have rediscovered her appetite, and then decided to replace one addiction with another, more fattening one. Eric - allegedly a vegan (sure his an NFL player?) has now insisted that Jessie has got to drop some serious weight before they can take it to the next level.
another breakthrough from the National Enquirer!
According to the National Enquirer - who did some fine work wrecking John Edwards life (To which many will respond "So what?". When your main claim to fame is two timing your dying wife and using her illness to get sympathy support for your presidential bid, you're not gonna be on many folks Christmas card lists.) Eric has a big beef over the weight problem. Jess is 5' 3" and hitting the 150 pound mark. She can't stop eating, especially anything fried; which she likes to knock back with Margaritas. Eric is in top form, and thinks that Simpson should be putting in the same effort. So he laid down an ultimatum - “Diet or we’re done!”
never says 'diet'
Now they've been hooked up for months, so you'd think things would be fairly stable. However the pair have been having brutal fights recently. According to the NE the rows are about Simpson's weight. They even maintain that it was during one of their most recent slag offs that Johnson laid down the ultimatum. That still leaves the question of "why bring it up now?"
Jess was becoming a handful in more ways than two?
My theory - weight isn't the real issue. According to the grape vine, Jessica can be a pill one on one. Romo was so glad to be rid of her that he had her banned from his premises after their bust up, and even left word with security to make sure she didn't get past the gate. Now the weight wasn't an issue before, but Johnson has gotten to know Jessica a little better now. Some times that doesn't work out for her. So maybe this whole weight thing is a big excuse. Perhaps the fellow is desperately looking for an out. The thing is that some guys dig big chicks; but no one likes a handful!
PS That Obama video, featured above, was not actually what the president said at the time - but something rigged up by Tea Baggers working with FOX News. You know what they're like!
