a big dick, a small town, & a public toilet
Gerard Butler - Gerard Butler's Toilet Shrine - Contactmusic News
Though the following story involves a 'sensible' celebrity - Gerard Butler; it's also pure Wondertrash. Bulter is a popular fellow, and gets around too! His visit to Melvindale, Michigan left lasting impressions. Seems that while Butler was passing through the Ace Springler Company he got short taken. Now that happens to the best of us, especially when you've got the sound of running water around. So Butler shoots into the can to take the pressure off. Nothing wrong with that, in fact it was the sensible thing to do.Fame has a way of turning sensible basic things outrageous. In those case the store management got so starstruck with Butler that they began offering tours of the scene. Butler was shooting Machine Gun Preacher nearby (is his career trajectory on a post Jennifer Aniston slump or something?). He stopped into the small store to use their only wash room. The owners daughters were on staff so he posed for pix with them. After he'd gone on his way the gals got on the phone and called all their friends to tell them what had just happened. "You'll never guess who just pissed in our store!" They also invited their chumps over to have a glance at the spot where Butler had whipped it out. It's supposedly been the top of the local talk ever since, so Melvindale is probably a very small town. They sound hard up for excitement. So incase any Melvindalians have come across this article while Goolging the incident - Hi folks, & send any Butler related dirt you happen on to this way first!
BTW this kind of toilet related madness doesn't just happen in towns like Melvindale. Leonardo DiCaprio got into a tight toilet spot down in South Africa while watching the World Cup. Now no celebrity really likes soccer. They're not really into sports. While other ids were out competing on the field of honor they were rehearsing for the school play. They can work up some enthusiasm for the LA Lakers; cause it's an LA thing and even more importantly Hollywood's top morlock - Jack Nicholson likes 'em. Beyond that they're not much interested in sports - even football!
Anyway the World Cup was the celebrity thing to do this year. Every so often celebrities have to prove that they're "bigger than that" (that is usually left unstated because it can mean the industry, their fans, or the country; and would cost them their careers if they were too up front about it. However they are celebrities and their vanity needs stroking); which they usually do by messing in politics, adopting from far flung parts of the world, or taking roles in prestige pix and indie projects. Anyway this year they wanted to prove that they weren't a bunch of Americans and that they "got it", so off they went.
It might have been better if they hadn't got it. Paris Hilton got busted for pot down there. Newsflash - the pot wasn't hers. She really needs some new material. Lepo got down there to. Now he wasn't got with a big fat doobie. He merely had to release some pressure in the can. However spectators, who should have been watching the game, saw him and tried to follow him in. Result was that Leo got trapped in a cubicle on security was called to straighten the situation out.
In fact toilets seem to form a kind of reoccurring theme in celebrity life. I could go on and on but our final celebrity toilet story concerns Elvis. Elvis was found dead on the toilet. This isn't to surprising considering his constipation problems. One of his many many personal physicians released a story earlier this year claiming that the King was chronically constipated, and carried around as much as 25 pounds of unpassed stool in his colon. It's why he was so fat.
It also might have been what killed him since current theory - according to the doctor - has Elvis not only in the can but straining away frustratedly why the end came. Apparently the King pushed too hard and that triggered a heart attack or stroke. There are some alternate theories about what the King was doing when he died. Though some claim that he died reading Search for the Face of Jesus, especially the book's author; others claim that the King died reading a tantra book called Sex and Psychic Energy, and that the book was found still in his hand by those who discovered him. The King loved his sexual shenanigans, even at he risk of unleashing psychic energy!
Still we can't be too hard on Elvis. Strange things go on oin washrooms - it's part of our common humanity; shared by celebrities and regular folks alike!
