You ought'a be in pictures - smell ya later
There comes a point in a celebrity's career that can best be described as a milestone, should their career warrant a milestone. The milestone in question is the release of their very own special celebrity scent. While some have tried to find deeper meaning in this, like an egomaniac's desire to mark off vast sections of the public as their own the way animals might scent territory and prospective mates; it is simply nothing less than a famous person's attempt to define themselves and their career in a fragrance. It's is of marginally less importance than a life time achievement award.scratch, sniff, who's there?
The fact that a fragrance has such significance attached to it means that a lot of high powered people put a lot of time and energy into composing the fragrance and determining the name that accompanies it. When it is ready the fragrance will be unveiled with due hype and flashy ads. The celebrity will appear along side the scent to assure prospective buyers that they are capturing the essence of the celebrity in perfume form. By using it average people can partake in that celebrity's essence, that special something that makes them who they are. Even if it won't exactly make you who they are. Voodoo is an inexact science.
celebrities who get up your nose
With that in mind here are some of the special scents that are in development. Some of them were designed with that special some one in mind, while others await further tweaking until the winning combination of smell, catchphrase and a one dimensional personality that's one dimensional enough to represent it. Here they are:
- The industry wanted Jennifer Aniston to have a perfume for some time. However they wanted to wait for her career to mature and her public image to ripen before they set to the arduous task. Besides they needed a smell to match her. One day an executive's wife had an epiphany at pottery class and hit upon just the right scent. PR experts fielded names like "Noon" and "High Noon", and even "August Afternoon" to match it's strong earthy odor. Then some one cheekily recommended "Dogs Days: the Scent of Baked Clay and Middle age". That fellow no longer works in the field. Anyway cosmetic execs are now considering adding a splash of sea water to the scent and calling it "Rescue Me".
- Katherine Heigl knew that she smelled long before she ever went into acting. With her drive and determination it would only be a matter of time before the rest of the world knew it too. That's why this aroma of mid priced vodka, mid sized car leather, and menthol cigarettes are hers, but not uniquely hers - "Release Me".
- It's not only old broads who get their own smell, the way retirees get a commemorative watch. Sometimes a personality will get washed up before they get anywhere near over the hill. That's why when execs came up with a scent of honeysuckle, the deep South, and just a tinge of peppermint they thought of "Nightingale Rhapsody". Now they only have to think of a washed up Kentucky fried cutey to flog it. So far Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson head the most wanted list, but if things don't work out for Megan Fox she could be the one.
All that talk about honeysuckle, peppermint, and vodka is making me slightly nauseous. That reminds me of the one scent that almost everyone can afford - fast food! So support the economy and save money by staying hungry. Don't stay hungry by not eating though cause that would be really bad for the economy, apart form the money you don't spend. There's also the lost productivity when you get incapacitated. It's not that sub sandwiches don't fulfill you either because they do. They are so fulfilling that you want more and more and more.
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That's the problem with liberals - they waste money on people instead of saving it on food! On a serious note, you see the challenges pitchmen face, unless the product is cigarettes and alcohol in which case there are no pitchmen. Those things sell themselves!
