Camilla goes 5150 - Cracks Up!

Some sad news coming out of Britain by way of the National Examiner - Camilla Parker Bowles has gone 5150. Now it's been a rough month for Camilla. Just a little while back she and Charles were accosted by some rowdy protesters. The protesters were up in arms over tuition hikes which would make it practically impossible for ordinary British to pursue a higher education. So naturally they took to the street french revolution style. IN fact the peasants haven't been that over heated in that neck of the woods since Bastille Day. Anyway Charles and Cami take to the streets in their 77 Rolls at the same time. They paid the price for not having the good sense to lay low when protesters surrounded the car. Camilla got poked in the ribs when one young woman reached through the open window with a stick

So it was a bad time for Camilla to get the news that she recently got. Camilla had been expecting to ascend to the throne for years. Charles had been kind of leading her on in that respect too. IN a recent NBC interview when asked about the possibility of Camilla becoming Queen he responded "We'll see. Maybe". The Queen had other ideas and apparently recently told Camilla that she'll never be queen. To emphasis the point she's promoted young Kate Middleton up the social pecking order and above Camilla in the protocols. That means Camilla technically is required to curtsy in Middleton's presence.

Camilla didn't take that too well - in fact she had a nervous breakdown. According to insiders Camilla holed herself up in the washroom of Clarence House with a gin bottle. After awhile she began crying and shouting at the walls. Servants were afraid to enter until after the room fell silent, when they found Camilla passed out on the floor and chewing her own tongue. Camilla was strapped to a gurney - Britney Spears style - and carted off for treatment. Officialy she was taken to her private residence - Ray Hill House - to recover. Unofficially she was taken to a top secret mental facility were the Royals go when they turn wacky.

This shouldn't be too surprising. The Royal Family are harder on their women than the Kennedys. Diana herself reportedly went nuts a few times during her marriage to Prince Charles. Being a cold blooded reptilian doesn't come naturally to most people, who weren't born into it (and thank God we weren't) and some never get the hang of it. So observers might think that the Duchess of Cornwall has merely succumbed to an occupational hazard (and once that Young Kate might want to watch out for .

However Kate should do fine. Whereas Diana was a sensitive Cancer, Kate's a tough minded & ambitious Capricorn. So the gig shouldn't be too tough for her, unless she goes paranoid and turns Nixon or something "They're out to get me, because they're jealous of me - that's it!"). However if conspiracy theorists, like the late Dodi al Fayd's father, are to be believed, then maybe guilt is catching up with her. In case you're one of the half dozen people on the planet who hasn't heard about the Diana Conspiracies - here they are in a video nutshell.



A lot of people have their doubts about the Royal Family. That could be due to their lack of normal human emotion, their peculiar practices and customs, or even their alleged connections to the Illuminati (David Icke has done some great work on that). For a special look at Prince William's Illuminati ties head over to Area 51!


Now I that hand signal looks familar it's because you've probably seen it many many times before:

Now it looks bad but it's worse than it looks: not only is Barack Obama Illuminati, but he's also a Vulcan!

Coming soon to Wondertrash: Flaky diets & kooky cancer cures (and no it's not the coffee enema!)!



It tastes a little like asphalt - not that I go around eating asphalt, regularly. Be careful, because while it hasn't been proven to cure cancer, it does cause chronic constipation! Oh yeah, and Epsom Salts can cure depression (but it ain't as much fun as booze or weed)!

Charlie Sheen shaves head

Charles is Charged

Charlie Sheen has had his share of troubles. It's not easy juggling a porn addiction, a crack using wife, and greedy ex and a hit comedy series. He snapped sometime around Christmas. according to his wife Brooke Mueller. Her lawyer says that he pulled a knife on her, she says it never happened if Charlie says he'll take her back, and her lawyer says of course that's what she's gonna say. The police report says that she was way more looped than Charlie, and Perezhilton says that she's been in rehab a bunch of times and on crack while pregnant. Meanwhile the charges against Charlie are still outstanding!

from buzzed to buzz cut

Maybe all that pressure has made Chuck start to come unglued or something. He was recently pictured going to his mistress wearing an outlandish disguise. Charlie got some kidding over that in the media. So Charlie has taken his first step towards Britney Spears style 5150 madness and shaved off his hair. Here's some pix of Charlie showing off his new bald pate, and his InTouch cover. I haven't witnessed such hilarity since Klinger tried to get out of the army by wearing dresses on MASH! Klinger should've skipped the dresses and gone straight to bed wetting - that works! Perhaps it might work on Brooke too, although in Follywood it ain't worth the risk. She might be into that and then he'd never get rid of her (unless he intro'd her to John Mayer the Pee Pee Playboy).

move over Lisa Rinna - a new case of collegen overload

You have to admire his sense of humor. In fact it's the give away. Humor is a sign of sanity and Charlie has too much self awareness to be genuinely crazy. Now if he really wanted to pull off insanity then he might have followed the example of this young woman. She's Priscilla Caputo (formerly known as Priscilla Russo). She's a model, actress, host, D Listed's hot slut of the day, and ready for long term institutionalization. She poses for the camera as if nothing is wrong, even though it obviously is. Don't look at this until after your breakfast has settled because it's disturbing.





Ms. Caputo might have a possible malpractice suit against whichever surgeon did that to her, assuming he doesn't work out of a mall or share the back of a van with an illegal abortionist. What could have made her think getting surgically deformed was a good idea? You don't have to be crazy to work in entertainment, but it helps!

There were plenty of fat lips last night in the Stanley Cup playoffs. Just take a look at the following short video clip - narrated by Don Cherry - featuring some of Alexander Ovechkin's greatest hits. He goes through the opposing team like a bowling ball through ten pins. There was some other good action too.