The most important thing to know about what's new in Gossip Girl season 4? Please sit down (if you're one of those weirdos who reads articles on the internet while standing up): Blair is back to wearing HEADBANDS. "Jeweled" headbands. Like a queen! (A queen bee?) Anyway: Yaaaaaay!
OK, on to the real spoilers. Did I say spoilers? Yes, SPOILERS. Consider that your alert.
- Dan is the father of Georgina Sparks' baby, Milo--or so it seems, though he's yet to go all "Maury" on her and get a paternity test. He also hasn't told Rufus or Lily yet and doesn't plan to, because we ALL KNOW, from so much experience on this show, that keeping secrets from your parents always ends well. Dan: So smart! Always learning from his mistakes, etc. Speaking of mistakes: He let Georgina move in with him, but he's only got eyes for Vanessa.
- Vanessa will resist Papa Dan's advances for all of one episode. Then they're back in the sack. But there's some sort of "I Know What You Did Last Summer"-esque intrigue involved with Nate telling Vanessa something about Dan, aaaand ... I'm back to not caring.
- While in Paris, Blair has been attempting to get over Chuck by dating French princes (as ya do), and threw Serena in a fountain because of her deep-seated fear that she'll ruin their friendship if Serena attends Columbia. Hey Blair, you know what ruins friendships? Pushing your friends into fountains when they don't want to be in fountains.
- Nate's had a busy summer of living like a rock star (and contracting STDs? He's apparently been on antibiotics all summer) and pining over Serena. He's about to spill his sensitive guts to Juliet (Katie Cassidy) who, obviously, he will then bang, and who, moreover obviously, will then turn out to be evil and/or crazy. Duh.
- Chuck is alive--but he doesn't want to be Chuck Bass anymore. He's going Jason Bourne-rogue on everyone's asses: New passport, new name, and no more assets. He's left everything, including the Empire Hotel, to Lily.
Unanswered questions:
- Where is Chuck going, and what's his M.O.?
- Is Dan really the father of Georgina's baby? (Haha, NO. Of course not.)
- How does Dan get away with saying things like "I choose you" to girls? (Oh, right. Because it's Vanessa.)
- How will Serena ever manage the grades to stay at Columbia?
- Where's Jenny? And, wherever in the land of misfit dolls she now resides, is she wearing pants?
Here's hoping all these questions get answered when Gossip Girl returns September 13. Until then, what do you think of these spoilers?
Images from http://www.overoll.com/Content/Oh-Mon-Dieu-Gossip-Girl-Season-4-Script-Leak-Leads-to-Big-Spoilers-/2010/8/5/303531.news
