Movie witch gets the Carrie treatment
So who doesn't like Emma Watson? Well some of her classmates if rumours are to be believed. now I'm not talking about her Hogworts classmates, but the smart alecks down at Brown. Watson made news on both sides of the Atlantic when she opted for an American ivy league education instead of signing on at Oxbridge! She could never explain why she decided to go American, but if Brown was her choice then poor grades & low test scores may have had a lot to do with it. Brown has a rep as the 'remedial' ivy league school!
Now just because Browners aren't the brightest bulbs in America's elitist ivy league system doesn't mean that they can't come up with some good ones when the opportunity presents it's self. Watson was an opportunity that a spas could've hit with a blunder buss at 100 paces while wearing a blindfold. The poor girl just showed up with so much baggage in the way of her film career that it provided a rich vein to mine. For instance whenever Watson opened her mouth in class, say to answer a question, the local smart asses would chime in "10 points for Gryffindor!" Now for those of you who aren't Potter maniacs that's a reference to her films. To give Browners a break on that, it might not be specifically anti Watson. She just didn't know that American students aren't supposed to volunteer answers in class!
Well all this good natured Animal House type razzing lead to rumour about poor tender Hermione being bullied. Naturally Watson denied it. Watson said in a statement that "I have never been bullied in my life and certainly not Brown!" She's a Brit and so felt the need to be a jolly good sport about victimization, or something. If she thinks that's how you fit in on American campuses then she's still got much to learn - the usual way a gal gets more popular is by sleeping with a jock!
Anyway the Browners felt the need to show that they weren't such jolly good sports, by agreeing with her! Megan Estes, some kind of big shot in the student body, said that "we try to take care of our own at Brown, and I think we try to make sure she feels like anybody else." Now it should be mentioned that Estes doesn't know Watson personally, but has played Hermione in a Brown campus production of Harry Potter. So that makes her some kind of an expert.
Perhaps the teachers put it more articulately. Not surprising - just because they teach at Brown doesn't mean that the were educated there. In fact some are only passing through, like visiting professor Bianca Dahl. Dahl teaches some crypto lefty course called "global humanitarianism", or something. So that means she's got perspective, and maybe even context! Any way Bianca had this to say on the Watson crisis "There was an awareness of her, but in a protective way. I can't fathom that faculty or students would allow bullying to happen!" Whoa Nelly - no one said anything about the faculty! I guess some one just blew their tenure!!
Any how the upshot is that Ms Watson has decided to take some time off from the hectic world of collegiate bullying perhaps to get back to the dog eat dog world of movie making. She's planning on sitting out at least a semester. Now Hermione is quite clear that this has to doing with the knuckle heads at Brown giving her a hard time or anything. in fact she's stated, by way of some celebrity medium or another, that "This 10 points for Gryffindor thing never happened. Accusing Brown students of something as serious as bullying and causing me to leave is beyond unfair!" As for her plans after her sabbatical, a friend says that she's planning to continue her education abroad. So whether the accusations against Brown are beyond unfair or not; Hermi as no plans to get anywhere near the place again! It only goes to show that the real world of the transmundane is far far more frightening than the unreal world of witches and goblins could ever hope to be. It also means that those Browners will have to find some other use for that big bucket of goat's blood they were saving for the big year end dance!
